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View Full Version : How do you piss your parents off?


Incubus
12-17-2004, 12:05 AM
Earlier today, I had to go to the bathroom. Since I had a final this evening, I figured I might as well study while I'm on the throne :p While I am sitting there, I hear my mom shout from across the house. When I don't respond (otherwise its a 5 minute dialogue of "I can't hear you" said back and forth :rolleyes: ) she walks down the hallways near the bathroom.

Mom: Something's wrong with the TV. I need you to fix it.

Incubus: Ok, give me...five minutes here. I'm kind of busy right now.

Mom: But this is important!

Incubus: More important than what I'm doing?! :rolleyes:

Mom: Please? There's stupid narration going on when I'm watching my tv show.

Incubus: Is the radio on? Maybe some kind of interference?

Mom: I'm watching Law and Order. There's some sort of narration going on for blind people. Its really annoying!

Incubus: *chortling* Why don't you just mute the TV and turn on closed captioning?

Mom: What? No!

Incubus: Look, half the time you fall asleep in front of the TV after work in the afternoons anyway. I don't see the problem here. You can enjoy the show while your eyes are shut.

Mom: Are you done yet? Get out here so I can smack you!

Incubus: *In cartman voice* I'm 24! I do what I want!

Yeah I was being an ass. But boy was it fun driving my mom nuts! Like I'm going to pinch off a loaf real quick just to look at a problem that can easily be fixed by having my mom watch TV in her room? I had studying to do! :D

klintypooh
12-17-2004, 01:08 AM
I make false molestation allegations.

Ace309
12-17-2004, 01:45 AM
I ignore my dad's attempts to be helpful and snap at him when I do throw him a bone and it doesn't work just like I knew it wouldn't. Pisses him off like you wouldn't believe.

CynicalGabe
12-17-2004, 01:46 AM
I make false molestation allegations.

Zen Master: What is the sound of convulsive silent laughter?

Incubus
12-17-2004, 01:53 AM
I make false molestation allegations.

That makes Incubus a sad panda... :(

dare_devil007_
12-17-2004, 02:09 AM
Oooh, I saw the title to this thread and I cannot resist replying. How do I piss my parents off? Oh, let me count the ways.

Mom: Dare_devil, high school is very important. It's extremely vital that you do well in high school. Yes, I know U of T isn't going to look at your tenth grade marks, but it's still very important...

Me: (Thinking: Okay, I'm going to tune out now...) <i>I distantly hear my mother talking until she says my name and asks me if I understand. I vaguely nod.</i>

Mom: Dare_Devil, you're not listening! Do you think this is unimportant?! (She grows really red in the face, like she's drunk. I imagine her as a clown with red face paint. I laugh.) Do you think this is funny?! DO YOU?! My God, where did I go wrong? You know, Dare_Devil, if I knew raising children was going to be this hard, I wouldn't have had children. (Ouch, that hurt.)

Me: I see....

Mom: NO, YOU DON'T! You know what, you're grounded!! Go to your room and stay there...

Me: Okay...sure...(I go to my room and read. Then, I do my homework, which I actually finish. Then, I listen to music and practise guitar. Then, I work a fair bit on my projects. When I realize I've actually done everything I planned to do, I go on Straightdope.com.)

The secret to pissing my parents off is not responding to their lectures and not arguing to what they say. For some reason, they have this need to get fired up everything, but they need me and/or my brother to start arguing with them first. Meh.

Caricci
12-17-2004, 09:06 AM
My name is Caricci, I am 41 and I just love to criticize my mother's parenting history, her current habits and her friends.

EmeraldGrue
12-17-2004, 11:45 AM
Saying annoying things about whatever New-Agey thing my mother's into lately.

"How do you know this herbal tea cured your cold? In that length of time it could have gone away on its own."

"Did you actually see the telekinetic woman bend the spoon?"

"Actually, you're just noticing when the time/restaurant check/number of robins you see on the way to work/weekday divided by month plus pi happens to be your lucky number, and not noticing when it doesn't."

eleanorigby
12-17-2004, 11:50 AM
Living well is the best revenge......heh.

Dung Beetle
12-17-2004, 12:39 PM
I dye my hair black. Marvelously effective!

"But it doesn't look natural!"

"And you think your lemon-meringue colored hair does?........ow, quit it Mom!"

chique
12-17-2004, 01:27 PM
Open my mouth. Sometimes all I have to do is walk in the room.

I haven't had contact with them since March. Life is much easier now. :)

Ashes, Ashes
12-17-2004, 02:53 PM
I dare to express an opinion. Double evil if it's one she doesn't share.

I'm not sure whether my mother had her sense of humor removed or never had one to begin with. No matter; keep all that funny crap away from her or suffer the consequences.

Elysian
12-17-2004, 03:10 PM
One time he and mom had taken a tour over most of the westers half of the US. They had the vacation time saved up, and they just loved it. Took the truck and camped out when they could. They had a cell phone and called me and my sister when they could to tell us they were still alive and having fun, and particularly where they were and where they were going afterward. They are pretty cool.

So my parents came home and dad was telling me and my sister about the mountains and the hiking and things they did. Then he asked my sister, "Did you follow where we went on the map?"

There's no way my sister actually took out a map and charted out where my parents had been for the last month, so I wasn't surprised when she kind of shrugged and said, "No, I'm sorry, I didn't."

Dad said, "Well, heck, we told you girls practically every night where we were and where we were going, and you didn't even take the time to look at a map and see where we were. That's too bad, I thought you were doing that. That's why I told you, I wanted you to keep track for me."

He shook his head sadly and turned to me. "So, Elysian, did you track us on the map?"

I thought about it for a split second and said firmly, "Yes."

"Good, then, you must have seen...." Then he glared at me and said "You didn't either. You little..."

:D

Flat-out lying, blatantly with a smile on my face, will get my dad every time.

Strinka
12-17-2004, 05:39 PM
I whistle to songs. It drives my mom crazy.

Mirror Image egamI rorriM
12-17-2004, 07:02 PM
Eventually, I plan on getting a tattoo--just as much because I want one as because I want to see my dad's head explode.

Gail
12-17-2004, 07:08 PM
I vote democrat. (Evil, liberal me! :dubious: )

fishbicycle
12-17-2004, 07:21 PM
I don't have to worry about it anymore, but just existing was a good enough reason for them to get pissed off.

yosemite
12-17-2004, 07:23 PM
Saying annoying things about whatever New-Agey thing my mother's into lately.

Ack! My mom is the same way. Very crackpot. (I'm a crackpot sometimes too, but there's a limit, you know?)

She's always waving some crackpot book in my face and saying, "But it's in this book!" as if that settles it. I got this book (http://amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0595094724/qid=1103329552/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/103-4916406-0142225?v=glance&s=books) and have started reading out loud from it and waving it in her face, saying, "But it's in this book!" She doesn't always see the humor in this, but I do.

The Great Sun Jester
12-17-2004, 07:34 PM
Breathe.

TellMeI'mNotCrazy
12-17-2004, 08:08 PM
By being myself.

medstar
12-17-2004, 08:29 PM
I'm embarrassed that I didn't figure this out till I was in my mid-40's, but my mom loves making mean spirited jabs about my weight and then defending her statement by saying "only your family will tell you these things". Huh? I should be grateful my mom insults me? Anyway, in the past I'd be upset and insult her right back, we'd get into an argument that took days to blow over. Now, at whatever she says, I offhandedly remark, "You know Mom, you could be right", change the subject and ignore her. I also leave at the first opportunity and ignore her till the next family outing. This pisses her off now that I don't give her any more opportunities to jerk me around.

EmeraldGrue
12-17-2004, 10:17 PM
I got this book (http://amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0595094724/qid=1103329552/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/103-4916406-0142225?v=glance&s=books) and have started reading out loud from it and waving it in her face, saying, "But it's in this book!" She doesn't always see the humor in this, but I do.

:weeps with laughter: Oh, wow. That's wonderful.
It can burn out the dirty stickiness of his body, release his immaterial fiber or third attention which has been confined to his stickiness.
This beats Louise Hay any day...

velveeta
12-17-2004, 10:24 PM
I'm 32 and my crime is refusing to make grandchildren for my mom. I get a two-fer since this also pisses off my mother-in-law. It's turned into an experiment to see how long I can keep pissing them off.

Kyla
12-18-2004, 12:12 AM
I get along pretty well with my parents. But I think it pissed them off by moving to the other side of the country. They expressed it by making subtle digs at my ability to succeed at taking care of myself. When moving: "why bring everything? You'll just have to repack it when you come back." Mama, I'm not going to college, I'm moving out of the house. They've since come to terms.

Well, and the time she got mad because I played with the dog too much when I was visiting. That was funny.

Barbarian
12-18-2004, 06:00 AM
I mock their cruising lifestyle.

Sofis
12-18-2004, 03:52 PM
I'm not sure my nails ever pissed my mother off, as such. I think she was more annoyed than pissed off; "You look like a girl," she'd complain (I think she just envied my pretty, pretty nails :D). At any rate, she hasn't mentioned them in a while, so maybe she's come to terms with them.

BMax
12-18-2004, 06:46 PM
By being 40, divorced and having no children and no intention of marrying again. I can really piss them off by dating women under 30 too.

Alice The Goon
12-18-2004, 07:21 PM
I haven't spoken to my dad in 7 years, which I'm sure really pisses him off because he can't control me or belittle me.
My mom is impossible to piss off because she's so disassociated from any kind of emotion as a defense mechanism from suffering my father's abuse for the last 38 years.

Alias
12-18-2004, 07:55 PM
My mother is American, but she has a very strange accent that's a mix of Michigan, Texas, Canada, and whatever else has rubbed off on her in her near 50 years. I piss her off like crazy by making fun of her accent. I can get her so self-conscious, that she'll try to say the word differently. When she does that, I laugh harder.

Katriona
12-18-2004, 10:35 PM
I'm 32 and my crime is refusing to make grandchildren for my mom. I get a two-fer since this also pisses off my mother-in-law. It's turned into an experiment to see how long I can keep pissing them off.

Right there with you - I think the last thing I did that made the 'rents happy was when Mr. Kat and I got married, and that was 13 years ago. Can't say that worked for my in-laws; while they're big proponents of marriage (only in the eyes of Gawwwwwwd, however; a JOP or anything that's not a preacher in their religion doesn't count), they were really not happy that their precious darling chose me.

I just don't even care anymore that our lack of kids pisses them all off. Don't want 'em, not havin' 'em, can't make me. So there! :p Pppphhhhttt!

Trailer Park Casanova
12-19-2004, 03:25 PM
I told my mom if she rubbed a nickel on ol' blue eyes pic on her Frank Sinatra abum covers,, his cloths would rub off.

I told her also the Grand Coolie dam was named after the Chinese coolines that build it after they built the trans continental railroad.

She bit,, but later never trusted a thing I said.

No straight dope website in those days to clear the air.

TellMeI'mNotCrazy
12-19-2004, 05:43 PM
I told my mom if she rubbed a nickel on ol' blue eyes pic on her Frank Sinatra abum covers,, his cloths would rub off.

I told her also the Grand Coolie dam was named after the Chinese coolines that build it after they built the trans continental railroad.

She bit,, but later never trusted a thing I said.

No straight dope website in those days to clear the air.


Just gotta say, I absolutely love your screenname!

Trailer Park Casanova
12-19-2004, 06:02 PM
Thanks,
I just gotta get my typo proof reading before I post under control.

Trailer Park Casanova
12-19-2004, 06:34 PM
Thanks,
I just gotta get my typo proof reading before I post under control.

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