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Improv Geek
05-19-2005, 03:04 PM
You know, it's funny the first time you hear it. Honest. It is. I mean, who would ever think to ask what my parents fed me while growing up? Or maybe you're genuinely curious if I play basketball. Or maybe you think it's funny to try and jump up and down to try and be as tall as me. I don't know.

But for fuck's sake, stop.

Truly.

I'm 6'5", I'm 21 years old - and I'm sick of people thinking they're clever.

Giraffe
05-19-2005, 03:08 PM
Give it up. They're never going to stop. I recommend learning to interpret the same exact joke you've heard a million times before as an attempt at friendly interaction, nothing more. Filter it out, give a stock friendly response, and if you have any reason to keep talking to the person, change the subject.

I'm 6'8", by the way, so I know what you're talking about. Shorty.

Trunk
05-19-2005, 03:14 PM
I saw a T-Shirt once that just said, "No, do you play miniature golf?"

alice_in_wonderland
05-19-2005, 03:39 PM
I think it's the same as people making stupid name jokes when they find out that you have an unusual name - they're not trying to be assholes, they're just trying to be friendly.

Granted, it get's old after a while, but people WONT stop.

My favorite response to a stupid name joke is "Wow - you know, I'm 32 years old, and I've NEVER heard that one before. Really."

Of course, many people think that I'm a big bad bitch, so you may want to keep that in mind. :D

UrbanChic
05-19-2005, 03:42 PM
Is it ok if we shorties continue to stare up at you in awe? I sure hope so because I don't plan on stopping that anytime soon. I'm so jealous!


UrbanChic, 5' 3" and some change.

alice_in_wonderland
05-19-2005, 03:46 PM
UrbanChic, 5' 3" and some change.

Humm - I think this means we can't actually share clothes...

crap. :)

(Alice - 5'8" and change).

/hijack.

kimera
05-19-2005, 03:52 PM
Just reply back to them with more tall jokes or with short jokes. I'm 5'2 and it used to annoy me when people made jokes about my height. Now, if they are mean about my height I make tall people jokes and if they are just being stupid I make short people jokes.

Madd Maxx
05-19-2005, 04:03 PM
So, how is the weather up there?

::d&r::

FordPrefect
05-19-2005, 04:09 PM
I am 6'4" and depending on the crowd I sometimes respond with, "If you think that is impressive you should see my penis!" Tall jokes are usually friendly so usual response is to reciprocate their joke in to a short joke. "How is the air up there?" "Well, it doesn't smell like ass. How about down there?" That sort of thing. :)

Giraffe I usually end up gawking at tall guys like you, it is rare for me to have to look up to someone and I find the experience intriguing.

Giraffe
05-19-2005, 04:11 PM
Giraffe I usually end up gawking at tall guys like you, it is rare for me to have to look up to someone and I find the experience intriguing.Tell me about it. The other day I ran into a 6'10" guy and a 6'8" guy just in the course of running some errands. It's very disconcerting to look up at someone...

FinnAgain
05-19-2005, 04:17 PM
I'm 6'8", by the way,

Might I wager that I now know why you chose the name "giraffe" ?

Revtim
05-19-2005, 04:27 PM
So, how is the weather up there?

::d&r::<spits on Madd Maxx>
It's raining, bitch!



Only on the internet can this short wop make that joke....

Mockingbird
05-19-2005, 04:30 PM
I am 6'4" and depending on the crowd I sometimes respond with, "If you think that is impressive you should see my penis!" Tall jokes are usually friendly so usual response is to reciprocate their joke in to a short joke. "How is the air up there?" "Well, it doesn't smell like ass. How about down there?" That sort of thing. :)

Giraffe I usually end up gawking at tall guys like you, it is rare for me to have to look up to someone and I find the experience intriguing.


I'm 6'4" and I went out recently with someone who was 6'11".

It was cool to have to stand on my tiptoes to kiss them.

Skywatcher
05-19-2005, 04:34 PM
I'm 6'2" and 320 lbs, which means I'm both tall and wide. Last night, I encountered a large group of teenaged tourists in the entrance to the Pentagon City station and wished I was 6" taller so I could do a Fezzik impression. :D

Ike Witt
05-19-2005, 04:38 PM
Being 6'4" I've heard a few tall jokes myself and they don't phase me one way or another. However, I will rip in half the next person who asks me "how is Eve"?

jimpatro
05-19-2005, 04:38 PM
6'2 here. Guess I'm the runt of the tall bunch so far.
I find it a little uncomfortable to be around taller people. It's so rare ya know.
Work around the Spurs occassionally and it's really weird. Wonder if folks not as tall as I feel that way about me.

It's actually very rare now to be the brunt of a tall joke so I usually just shrug it off.

FordPrefect
05-19-2005, 04:42 PM
I'm 6'4" and I went out recently with someone who was 6'11".

It was cool to have to stand on my tiptoes to kiss them.
Were your date conjoined twins? ;)

Leviosaurus
05-19-2005, 04:43 PM
The comment that's always gotten me is "Wow, you're tall!" I get this at least three times a day. (6'7'') My usual response is "Again? Damn!"

Full disclosure: I was standing in line for registration in college lo, many years ago when the tallest person I've ever seen in my life walked up behind me. I turned around and my eye level was literally even with his chest. He must have been over seven feet tall. I looked up at him, and damn if I didn't start to say "wow, you're t..." but I managed to stop myself just in time. Guys my height just don't have that experience, it was wierd.

UrbanChic
05-19-2005, 05:08 PM
Humm - I think this means we can't actually share clothes...

crap. :)

(Alice - 5'8" and change). Well, damn.

The funny thing is, most people in my office don't know I'm so short. I almost always wear heels, and they're almost always 3" or higher. In fact, I refer to heels that are 2.5 - 3" as low. Most people are quite suprised to learn I'm not at least 5' 5".

Flutterby
05-19-2005, 05:14 PM
*stands among the guys just so she can feel short for a bit*

(I'm 6'1, it's a novelty to not be the tallest around. Don't mind if I stare, I always check out the guys taller than me.)

UncleBeer
05-19-2005, 05:17 PM
Speaking just for myself, it's tall tales, of which I'm not too fond.

What?

if6was9
05-19-2005, 05:26 PM
I think it's the same as people making stupid name jokes when they find out that you have an unusual name - they're not trying to be assholes, they're just trying to be friendly.

Granted, it get's old after a while, but people WONT stop.

My favorite response to a stupid name joke is "Wow - you know, I'm 32 years old, and I've NEVER heard that one before. Really."

Of course, many people think that I'm a big bad bitch, so you may want to keep that in mind. :D
Exactly. My last name is frighteningly close to Neandrthal. That's my standard response, "Gee, never heard THAT one before. :p And yes, it will never stop. 42 years and going.

Nunavut Boy
05-19-2005, 05:30 PM
I'm only 6', but man do I hate it when a bunch of people are taller than me. I don't care if one or two of them are, but when 5 or 6 of your good buddies are 6'3" or taller and you're hanging out just with them, you start to get Napoleon complex or something.

Leviosaurus
05-19-2005, 05:35 PM
I have a tall group of friends I hang out with. Once we went camping in rural Northern Michigan. We walked into a store in a small town, one after another, my 6'2 friends went first, followed by Mr. 6'4'' and Mr. 6'5'', followed by me.

The poor woman behind the counter was quite flustered. "Wow, you're the tallest group of buys I've ever seen!" She pointed at me saying "And you're the tallest person I've ever seen in my life!" That's the exact moment my 6'9'' friend walked in.

But yeah, I know what you mean about the Napolean complex. One member of the group is 6' and we always tease him.

Leviosaurus
05-19-2005, 05:36 PM
Wow, you're the tallest group of buys I've ever seen!" Er, "Boys" :smack:

must use preview... must use preview...

Bippy the Beardless
05-19-2005, 05:43 PM
Might I wager that I now know why you chose the name "giraffe" ?
I thought it was because of his prehensile tongue.

Icarus
05-19-2005, 06:37 PM
me am not a tall person.....

I'm friends with two brothers, one is 6'4", the other is 6'5". I went to a party they were having and there were lots of guys taller than them (pro ball players etc.). I asked one of my friends about this and they relied, "Whenever I meet someone taller than me, I make them my friend, 'cause I sure as hell don't want them as my enemy!"

Ukulele Ike
05-19-2005, 06:50 PM
Damn. I came in here hoping to get some tall jokes to wield against my over-six-foot enemies.

-- Uke (6 feet tall...or Normal, in other words)

Kevbo
05-19-2005, 07:23 PM
Mostly it doesn't bother me at all, but occassionally I like to get in a dig:

"Whoa, those are some boats, what size shoe do you wear"
"14D, what is your cup size?" ( well endowed female)

"Do you play Basketball"
"No, are you a Jockey?"

"How's the weather up there?"
"Mostly sunny with a good chance of silly assed questions."

And on the RARE occasions when someone has an origional, it does give me a little chuckle.
One time I was going through the listing of dive shops in the yellow pages looking for a pair of full-foot diving fins.....size 14. Well, being in this thread, you see it coming, but about the third shop said, deadpan, "You wear a size 14 shoe, you don't need fins."

Rick
05-19-2005, 07:43 PM
The comment that's always gotten me is "Wow, you're tall!" I get this at least three times a day. (6'7'') My usual response is "Again? Damn!"

Full disclosure: I was standing in line for registration in college lo, many years ago when the tallest person I've ever seen in my life walked up behind me. I turned around and my eye level was literally even with his chest. He must have been over seven feet tall. I looked up at him, and damn if I didn't start to say "wow, you're t..." but I managed to stop myself just in time. Guys my height just don't have that experience, it was wierd.
[funny tall story] In the 60's my father was in charge of construction of a building not far from UCLA. He had a laborer working there who was known as "Tiny". Tiny was a stunted lad of 6'5" and about 250 lbs. One very large, very muscled man who was used to being the bigest guy around. (hell of a nice guy too)
Anyway one day Tiny was outside the jobsite wall, and walks around the corner, and he is staring at another guys chin. He stops, starts looking up and up till he get eye to eye with the man then known as Lew Alcindor. Tiny stepped aside, and let him pass. The guys who saw this were laughing their asses off. [/FTS]

LifeOnWry
05-19-2005, 08:49 PM
So, how is the weather up there?

::d&r::


Don't ask pissed-off tall people this question. They spit in your hair and reply, "It's raining."

LifeOnWry
05-19-2005, 08:50 PM
Dammit! I totally missed that Revtim already said that.

Excalibre
05-19-2005, 09:48 PM
I'm 6'4" and I went out recently with someone who was 6'11".

It was cool to have to stand on my tiptoes to kiss them.
Man, at six foot even I've all but given up on finding someone significantly taller than me.

Hope remains!

El Zagna
05-19-2005, 10:08 PM
It could be worse. You could work at Wendy's and have to listen to all the finger in my chili jokes, "... and a side of chili, please, cut the fingers. Heh-heh-heh!"

matt_mcl
05-20-2005, 12:12 AM
I'm 6'4" and I went out recently with someone who was 6'11".

It was cool to have to stand on my tiptoes to kiss them.

We all know you're gay, Mockingbird. You don't have to do the pronoun thing. ;)

infamousmom
05-20-2005, 02:14 AM
My son is 6'7". His answers:

Two meters.

No, I'm a jockey. (He might or might not add "On the Clydesdales.")

*spit* It's raining.

Mockingbird
05-20-2005, 02:31 AM
Were your date conjoined twins? ;)

Well, we looked that way for a bit, but that's venturing into TMI land.

Mockingbird
05-20-2005, 02:33 AM
Man, at six foot even I've all but given up on finding someone significantly taller than me.

Hope remains!

It does. I just went out with someone who was also slightly taller than me.

Thank you, Bovine Growth Hormone!

:D

Shalmanese
05-20-2005, 02:44 AM
I think it's the same as people making stupid name jokes when they find out that you have an unusual name - they're not trying to be assholes, they're just trying to be friendly.

Granted, it get's old after a while, but people WONT stop.

My favorite response to a stupid name joke is "Wow - you know, I'm 32 years old, and I've NEVER heard that one before. Really."

Of course, many people think that I'm a big bad bitch, so you may want to keep that in mind. :D

Well, what do you expect with a first name like alice and a last name like wonderland? Sheesh! ;)

Leviosaurus
05-20-2005, 03:24 AM
I keep racking my brains trying to think of a really funny or clever or tall joke I've heard, but they fact is, I've never heard one. They're all stupid. They consist of 1. Statements on the order of "Wow, you're tall!" (Why are you telling me this? How could I possibly be unaware of that fact?) 2. The ever popular "How's the weather up there?" (Why in the world would this ever be considered amusing? Has anyone ever heard this question and laughed in response?)

I hereby challenge the teeming millions to produce an amusing greeting appropriate for introduction to a person of exceptional height. This must be an original idea, must be found amusing by a)most of the people on this thread and b) me. (I'm the one making up the rules, why should I bother being egalitarian?) "Amusing" is defined as being "Laugh out loud funny".

The winner gets a kiss from Mockingbird (assuming Mockingbird agrees, of course,) as well as eternal internet fame for supplanting the overused and weatherbeaten "How's the weather up there?" question. Any takers?

Mockingbird
05-20-2005, 04:12 AM
I keep racking my brains trying to think of a really funny or clever or tall joke I've heard, but they fact is, I've never heard one. They're all stupid. They consist of 1. Statements on the order of "Wow, you're tall!" (Why are you telling me this? How could I possibly be unaware of that fact?) 2. The ever popular "How's the weather up there?" (Why in the world would this ever be considered amusing? Has anyone ever heard this question and laughed in response?)

I hereby challenge the teeming millions to produce an amusing greeting appropriate for introduction to a person of exceptional height. This must be an original idea, must be found amusing by a)most of the people on this thread and b) me. (I'm the one making up the rules, why should I bother being egalitarian?) "Amusing" is defined as being "Laugh out loud funny".

The winner gets a kiss from Mockingbird (assuming Mockingbird agrees, of course,) as well as eternal internet fame for supplanting the overused and weatherbeaten "How's the weather up there?" question. Any takers?

The offer is only open to men, and if I have to train them how to kiss, I charge extra.

Linus Van Pelt
05-20-2005, 05:03 AM
Considering the topic at hand, you might enjoy this:

It's the third entry down (the one for May 7th). (http://nba.com/suns/news/shirley_playoff_blog.html)

It's a link to an online jounal by Paul Shirley, who fills the role of 12th man on the Phoenix Suns' bench (go Suns!). He has some less than complimentary things to say about those who feel the need to comment on his height.

FinnAgain
05-20-2005, 06:54 AM
I hereby challenge the teeming millions to produce an amusing greeting appropriate for introduction to a person of exceptional height.

Best I can do is:

"Good gods you're a giant, please don't eat me!"

I know, I got nothin'

BoBettie
05-20-2005, 10:32 AM
Considering the topic at hand, you might enjoy this:

It's the third entry down (the one for May 7th). (http://nba.com/suns/news/shirley_playoff_blog.html)

It's a link to an online jounal by Paul Shirley, who fills the role of 12th man on the Phoenix Suns' bench (go Suns!). He has some less than complimentary things to say about those who feel the need to comment on his height.

That is hilarious- great link!

SnakesCatLady
05-20-2005, 10:53 AM
I have always been attracted to tall men, and I sometimes will stare without meaning to be rude. If the guy happens to notice me, of course I feel like an idiot for getting caught staring, and start blushing - which clashes with my red hair. So I'm standing there, bright red, embarassed as hell in front of a guy I would like to have met. What am I supposed to say?

arseNal
05-20-2005, 11:04 AM
I really enjoy when people say things like, “Did you know that you are really tall?” Holy [feces]! Are you serious? I’m tall! I can’t believe it. This must have happened overnight. Thanks for pointing it out, though… Again, asking this question is not a way to convey intelligence. I don’t think I have pulled them out yet, but someday soon, I will respond… with questions regarding the physical appearance of my foil, choosing from “Did you know that you are morbidly obese?” and “Has anyone ever told you how unbelievably ugly you are?” It’s going to happen. After all, much like height, they are only observations regarding a person’s appearance.Ok, I can see how people commenting on your height can get old, but does it really make you tall guys so angry that you would like to respond with an insult?

Snickers
05-20-2005, 11:08 AM
SpouseO's 6'6" and he too hates the tall jokes/comments. After one such encounter, he turned to me and asked exasperatedly, "Can't people think of any other way to start a conversation?" Bugs him all to hell and back.

He also finds it disconcerting when he runs into someone taller than himself. Good thing it doesn't happen all that often. And he always notices tall women - I'm hoping he's not thinking it might be a nice change (I'm 5'6").

I always thought you tall people should have some sort of secret nod, a "S'up" sort of thing, when you run into each other. Just a quiet acknowledgement of some sort. Who knows? Maybe you do.

Malacandra
05-20-2005, 11:32 AM
The offer is only open to men, and if I have to train them how to kiss, I charge extra.

My life is complete enough without having to learn how to kiss a seven-foot ginger, thankyouverymuch.

:D

I admit to "height envy". I topped out at 5' 11" and was mostly there within a coupla months of turning 13. OTOH I sit mighty tall for my height, a friend who's maybe an inch shorter was sat next to me at the theatre and he noticed I towered over him. Yes, Mal is an odd shape.

Green Bean
05-20-2005, 11:40 AM
I have always been attracted to tall men, and I sometimes will stare without meaning to be rude. If the guy happens to notice me, of course I feel like an idiot for getting caught staring, and start blushing - which clashes with my red hair. So I'm standing there, bright red, embarassed as hell in front of a guy I would like to have met. What am I supposed to say?

"Hello."

p.s. I think I'm now in love with Paul Shirley. Too bad he's too tall for me.
p.p.s. Leviosaurus--your story made me literally laugh out loud. Thanks.

LionelHutz405
05-20-2005, 11:47 AM
I always thought you tall people should have some sort of secret nod, a "S'up" sort of thing, when you run into each other. Just a quiet acknowledgement of some sort. Who knows? Maybe you do.

We do. I could tell you what it is, but it would just go over your head.

Bippy the Beardless
05-20-2005, 12:23 PM
OTOH I sit mighty tall for my height, a friend who's maybe an inch shorter was sat next to me at the theatre and he noticed I towered over him. Yes, Mal is an odd shape.
You might just sit well. I got posture therapy for a bad back, and now I sit taller than many people who are taller than me standing up. (when I remember to use good posture).

Leviosaurus
05-20-2005, 12:29 PM
I have always been attracted to tall men, and I sometimes will stare without meaning to be rude. If the guy happens to notice me, of course I feel like an idiot for getting caught staring, and start blushing - which clashes with my red hair. So I'm standing there, bright red, embarassed as hell in front of a guy I would like to have met. What am I supposed to say?Wait a minute... a redhead? Attracted to tall men? From Georgia, with that southern accent?

Trust me, hon, you don't have to say a word. If I wasn't already in a LTR, I'd be on a bus South right now.


p.p.s. Leviosaurus--your story made me literally laugh out loud. Thanks. You're welcome! Glad you liked it!



Linus Van Pelt, Thanks for the link, it's great!

Pullet
05-20-2005, 01:25 PM
I don't think I've ever heard a professional athlete write so well. Most impressive.

Almost sad now that I've never had any tall jokes lobed at me. 5'10" usually makes me the tallest girl in the room. Maybe my ears have been to far away to notice.

And how dare any other girl be taller than me! Stop it!

Flutterby
05-20-2005, 07:12 PM
And how dare any other girl be taller than me! Stop it!

Sorry about that. Blame my parents.

eleanorigby
05-20-2005, 07:21 PM
I get all fluttery around really tall guys (I'm 5'7") ....I find myself all twitterpated.

This has got to stop, since I am almost 43 and married 18 years. There is just something about a tall man.

You tall folk--you get some hearts beating fast.......<fans self and sits down>.


(psst, don't tell my husband-he's 5'9" [really 8, but he says 9]).

Curate
05-21-2005, 11:45 AM
When I'm asked how tall I am I usually answer, "Five feet, seventeen inches." It's true, it places the burden of the conversation back on the asker, and it signals that yes, I have had to answer this question a few times in the past.

Curate

panache45
05-21-2005, 12:16 PM
Do you ever get an opening line like this?

"With you, I wouldn't have to kneel."

Rick
05-21-2005, 01:25 PM
I keep racking my brains trying to think of a really funny or clever or tall joke I've heard, but they fact is, I've never heard one. They're all stupid. They consist of 1. Statements on the order of "Wow, you're tall!" (Why are you telling me this? How could I possibly be unaware of that fact?) 2. The ever popular "How's the weather up there?" (Why in the world would this ever be considered amusing? Has anyone ever heard this question and laughed in response?)

I hereby challenge the teeming millions to produce an amusing greeting appropriate for introduction to a person of exceptional height. This must be an original idea, must be found amusing by a)most of the people on this thread and b) me. (I'm the one making up the rules, why should I bother being egalitarian?) "Amusing" is defined as being "Laugh out loud funny".

The winner gets a kiss from Mockingbird (assuming Mockingbird agrees, of course,) as well as eternal internet fame for supplanting the overused and weatherbeaten "How's the weather up there?" question. Any takers?
Answer
1) Gee not veryone notices, what gave you the first clue? If they ask your height, answer like a guy I knew who was 6' 10" His response was "I'm five3 foot twenty"
2) Sorry I got nothin

Rick
05-21-2005, 01:29 PM
:smack: "Five foot twenty" :smack:

Giraffe
05-21-2005, 01:29 PM
Answer
1) Gee not veryone notices, what gave you the first clue? If they ask your height, answer like a guy I knew who was 6' 10" His response was "I'm five3 foot twenty"Tall and bad at math! :D

LurkMeister
05-21-2005, 02:54 PM
I keep racking my brains trying to think of a really funny or clever or tall joke I've heard, but they fact is, I've never heard one. They're all stupid. They consist of 1. Statements on the order of "Wow, you're tall!" (Why are you telling me this? How could I possibly be unaware of that fact?) 2. The ever popular "How's the weather up there?" (Why in the world would this ever be considered amusing? Has anyone ever heard this question and laughed in response?)

I hereby challenge the teeming millions to produce an amusing greeting appropriate for introduction to a person of exceptional height. This must be an original idea, must be found amusing by a)most of the people on this thread and b) me. (I'm the one making up the rules, why should I bother being egalitarian?) "Amusing" is defined as being "Laugh out loud funny".

The winner gets a kiss from Mockingbird (assuming Mockingbird agrees, of course,) as well as eternal internet fame for supplanting the overused and weatherbeaten "How's the weather up there?" question. Any takers?

At 5'6" I'm now wracking my brains for a clever introduction just for the opportunity to kiss a woman who's 6'4"

Gary Robson
05-21-2005, 03:35 PM
I always thought you tall people should have some sort of secret nod, a "S'up" sort of thing, when you run into each other. Just a quiet acknowledgement of some sort. Who knows? Maybe you do.
I had a snappy response all ready for this but LionelHutz405's is much better.

A quick "tall tale": I'm a 6'4" male. Years ago, I was grumbling as I folded myself into an airplane seat. The person sitting next to me, who I hadn't noticed, said, "I know what you mean." She was a six-footer, and the vast majority of her height was in her legs, which were folded in a way that looked quite uncomfortable. She ended up inviting me to a "tall club" meeting. I went, just for kicks. To get in, men had to be at least 6'4" and women had to be at least 5'10". This made me the shortest guy out of probably 30 in the room. It was a very, very strange feeling.

Not one person that evening asked anyone else's height (at least not in my earshot), but there were a lot of questions about where people bought clothes, what kind of cars they drove, and so on.

Nawth Chucka
05-21-2005, 05:13 PM
rural Northern Michigan..
Redundancy.

See, up dere da Yoopers are usedta da Finns 'n da French, ya know? En dey ain't da tallest buncha folks, nope.

audreyayn
05-21-2005, 05:21 PM
I'm obviously a dork, because I'm just waiting for Wilt to post about how Blooregard thinks this is funny too.

descamisado
05-21-2005, 06:07 PM
Mostly it doesn't bother me at all, but occassionally I like to get in a dig:

"How's the weather up there?"
"Mostly sunny with a good chance of silly assed questions.""

Attention. Attention. Computer monitor clean-up in cubicle 9, row D. Seltzer water mixed with nasal juices has hit the screen once again. That's cubicle 9, row D. As you were.

descamisado
05-21-2005, 06:38 PM
I have always been attracted to tall men, and I sometimes will stare without meaning to be rude. If the guy happens to notice me, of course I feel like an idiot for getting caught staring, and start blushing - which clashes with my red hair. So I'm standing there, bright red, embarassed as hell in front of a guy I would like to have met. What am I supposed to say?

"Can I climb you?"

:D

descamisado
05-21-2005, 06:42 PM
Considering the topic at hand, you might enjoy this:

It's the third entry down (the one for May 7th). (http://nba.com/suns/news/shirley_playoff_blog.html)

It's a link to an online jounal by Paul Shirley, who fills the role of 12th man on the Phoenix Suns' bench (go Suns!). He has some less than complimentary things to say about those who feel the need to comment on his height.

Sorry for two posts in a row, but I had to say.

What, the guy didn't get jokes about being a guy named Shirley?

Anyway, this guy obviously has what it takes to be a success as a comic writer, post-basketball. He's funny.

Mockingbird
05-21-2005, 08:51 PM
At 5'6" I'm now wracking my brains for a clever introduction just for the opportunity to kiss a woman who's 6'4"

Good luck with that. I'm a guy.

Rick
05-21-2005, 09:19 PM
Tall and bad at math! :D
::: sigh::: Yes he was 6'8" and I only got four hours sleep last night. ::: Hangs head in shame:::

lorinada
05-21-2005, 09:24 PM
I think it's really funny that all the tall people bitching about the comments also admit that they're "awed" and "intimidated" when they meet or see someone who towers over THEM.

And I also don't know why they think they have a monopoly on receiving stupid comments and questions.

My last name is Sees. When I hear "Lorinada Sees? Sees what?" for the umpteenth million time I just smile and change the subject. Insulting this guy is not going to suddenly cause the entire population's IQ to rise 20 points.

I'm short. When I'm called munchkin for the umpteenth time I just smile and change the subject. Insulting this gal is not going to suddenly cause the entire population's IQ to rise 20 points.

Nawth Chucka
05-21-2005, 09:34 PM
"Can I climb you?"

:D

And then can I claim you for Spain?

LurkMeister
05-21-2005, 10:53 PM
Good luck with that. I'm a guy.

pounds my head on my keyboard a few times for not reading the thread carefully enough

matt
05-22-2005, 04:30 AM
Since none of you tall folks have bothered, this shortarse is going to have to do the obligatory thing:

http://ibras.dk/montypython/episode21.htm#2

SnakesCatLady
05-22-2005, 12:17 PM
And then can I claim you for Spain?

That one caused me to scare all of the cats out of the office. Now I have to clean up the ashtray I spilled. Be back later.

Fuji Kitakyusho
05-22-2005, 02:17 PM
6'5", mostly in the legs (short torso), slim, 38" sleeve, size 15 AA shoe.

Unless you're a tailor, find another way to start a conversation.

Nawth Chucka
05-22-2005, 07:18 PM
Well it's not a retort, but I have been inspired to think of a naughty chat-up line to use on tall men...

You're quite the flagpole - can I hang from you and wave?

Would that work on anyone, or am I terribly lame? The one time I really tried to pick up a verrry tall man, I told him he was so cute I'd like to fold him up and put him in my pocket and take him home. (That was the Cape Cods talking.) He just rolled his eyes and went back to talking to his buddies.
FTR, I'm not tall. At 5' 6.5" I'm slightly above average height, but w/ my long skinny arms I get mistaken for taller. And thinner, too. It's a cruel joke nature has played on me!

Gary Robson
05-23-2005, 11:00 AM
Back when I was single, that line would cause me to roll my eyes and walk away without saying anything.

The best opening line has always been "hello."

Bippy the Beardless
05-23-2005, 08:02 PM
Back when I was single, that line would cause me to roll my eyes and walk away without saying anything.

The best opening line has always been "hello."
Damn, not only tall, but he gets to be choosey as well ;)

Nawth Chucka
05-23-2005, 09:58 PM
Yeah, it's great that taller guys can make a woman feel that much smaller. :rolleyes:

marshmallow
05-23-2005, 10:02 PM
I thought 5'6" was supposed to be average, yet I'm almost always the shortest guy in the room. I feel like a child sometimes.

WAHHH

Gary Robson
05-24-2005, 07:56 AM
Yeah, it's great that taller guys can make a woman feel that much smaller. :rolleyes:
Height and gender are irrelevant here. It's just a reaction to a stupid pickup line.

Telperien
05-24-2005, 08:17 AM
When I'm asked how tall I am I usually answer, "Five feet, seventeen inches." It's true, it places the burden of the conversation back on the asker, and it signals that yes, I have had to answer this question a few times in the past.

Curate

Maybe I'm weird but I think that is so cool.

I was madly attracted to a tall classmate (6'8", exactly twelve inches taller than I) and I couldn't think of anything to say to him not height-related, so until I got to know him a little better, I simply kept mostly quiet, smiled a lot, and talked to him about class-related things. Of course, later I ended up saying something inane about his hair, but at least I didn't babble about his height.

Kimstu
05-24-2005, 08:45 AM
Well, since the tall guys are getting so much adoration here, I feel less guilty about admitting that they leave me stone cold. I'm a 5'4" female, and while I did go out with a 6'4" guy for a while, the height differential wasn't an attraction, it was a pain in the neck. Literally (having to tip your head all the way back just to look your companion in the eye really sucks).

I recently moved from northern India (where I was average-to-tallish for a female compared to the rest of the population) to the Netherlands, where I'm short short short. (The Dutch are the tallest population in the world at the moment, no lie---even taller than the Swedes and Americans and all.) And it is really starting to irk me, constantly living in the shade of all these looming Dutchmen. Sometimes I'm tempted to stomp into the cafeteria with a baseball bat and just start kneecapping 'em. "Ah! There, that clears the horizon a little bit!"

So all you chicks pining for tall guys, I got news for you, they're over here in Holland! Come and get 'em! And please take 'em with you when you leave, too! Where are all the guys in the 5'3"--5'7" range, the way I like them? :(

Daithi Lacha
05-24-2005, 10:48 AM
I used to share a house with a female collegiate basketball player. Breda must've been 6' 5", at least. She never seemed to mind when I called her "Stretch" or "Highpockets."
Gosh, she was handy for changing the lightbulbs in ceiling fixtures!

P.S. 5' 9.5", myself. The stepladder is my friend.

Cemetery Savior
05-24-2005, 05:00 PM
I topped out at 5'10". I think I'm the statistical average.

So, I'm playing tennis one day, and meet my future wife. I end up going to her home for Easter, ostensibly to meet her folks and her brothers (2) and sister. I get into the house, and get to meet her father, et al.

Family heights:

Sister: 5'10" (whew! someone to look in the eye)
Brother-in-law: 6'5"
Father: 6'6"
Mother-in-law: 5'7" (hah!)
Brother #1: 6'7"
Brother #2: 6'6"


I was mildly stunned, and coudl only work up one thing to say:
"I guess I'm sitting at the card table for dinner."

They laughed, which was pleasant.

Btw, my wife is only 5'5"....go figure.

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