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View Full Version : Lunch theives, I need a way to lock my lunch.


NurseCarmen
01-11-2006, 09:57 AM
Here's the scenario. I buy frozen dinners that I have for lunch every day. I buy 5 or more at a time, then keep them in my work freezer. Without fail, even though I have writing all over it, someone has been stealing my lunch at the rate of once a week on average.

I've considered spitting in my lunches and then resealing them, but once that seal is broken, how comfortable would I be eating them? The theiving bastard may just return the favor. I'd like to get some sort of nylon bag that I could put a lock on, just to make it a PITA for them to steal my stuff, and hope they'd move along. It couldn't be bulky, since it's a commmunal fridge, but it needs to be big enough to fit 5-10 Lean Cuisines, yet still not take up a lot of room when there is only one left.

I've seen bank bags, but they all seem to be thick and shaped, so they wouldn't squish down much.

Anyone know of such a bag?

DeadlyAccurate
01-11-2006, 10:20 AM
It might just be easier to bring one lunch every day in a lunchbox with a freezer pack in it and keep it at your desk. People are less likely to steal it, and you're not taking up a good portion of the freezer with your food.

Other than that, the only suggestion I can make is that any bag with a zipper should be able to be modified to handle a padlock.

enipla
01-11-2006, 10:33 AM
When I bring a frozen lunch, I don't bother putting it in the freezer. Just let it sit in my office all morning.

By lunch time, it's thawed and real easy to heat.

Kakofonous
01-11-2006, 10:52 AM
What about a mesh bag? They're often found with canoeing and kayaking accessories. I don't know of any that are designed to be locked, but it wouldn't be too difficult to run a small cable and luggage lock near the opening. Something like this (http://rei.com/online/store/ProductDisplay?productId=1187&storeId=8000&catalogId=40000008000&langId=-1&addon=492137-492135&ext_cat=REI_RELATED_ITEMS_PRODUCT_PAGE&vcat=REI_SSHP_PADDLING_TOC) .

bouv
01-11-2006, 11:13 AM
I recomend setting up some kind of streaming webcam and catching the thieving bastard in the act.

Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor
01-11-2006, 11:19 AM
Get a metal lunchbox. I recommend one with Speed Racer.

Go to your hardware store. Get a padlock, & the hardware, screws etc, to mount it on your box. Drilling holes in the box is simple.

Lock up the lunch.

Alternatively--USE THIS FOR A LUNCHBOX (http://toys2wish4.com/cashbox.html)

scr4
01-11-2006, 11:23 AM
Wrap them in a (clean) pair of panties. Nobody will touch it. :D

NurseCarmen
01-11-2006, 11:28 AM
What about a mesh bag? They're often found with canoeing and kayaking accessories. I don't know of any that are designed to be locked, but it wouldn't be too difficult to run a small cable and luggage lock near the opening. Something like this (http://rei.com/online/store/ProductDisplay?productId=1187&storeId=8000&catalogId=40000008000&langId=-1&addon=492137-492135&ext_cat=REI_RELATED_ITEMS_PRODUCT_PAGE&vcat=REI_SSHP_PADDLING_TOC) .That might just do it. And, I happen to have a gift certificate to REI. I don't need Fort Knox, just something to make the fucker decide it's be easier to steal someone else's.

Cheesesteak
01-11-2006, 11:48 AM
How about a sign?Attention lunch thief! One of my Lean Cuisines has been left out at room temperature for 24 hours, then refrozen and placed in this fridge. Steal it at your own risk. You could get one of those cotton mesh shopping bags, and put a padlock through the mesh to lock it tight.

The King of Soup
01-11-2006, 12:14 PM
Hi, NurseCarmen. I've been enjoying your posts for years. I hate topics like this, because the theft is the second tragedy, the first being whatever situation makes theft from a co-worker, and perhaps a friend, seem like the best of many possibilities. In a situation like this, there is usually a sporadic attempt to make amends. Are there never unexplained frozen dinners left in the freezer, things left on your desk, odd moments when someone is being nicer to you than the situation strictly warrants? I suppose not: you've been trained to notice things, and you'd have mentioned it.

If you want to know who's taking the food, start bringing empty (resealed) boxes to put in the freezer, and watch to see who's looking at you funny. If you want to be mean about it, empty an ounce of food coloring (it doesn't wash off quickly) into the box before you glue it shut. The waxed cardboard will hold it until your antagonist gets his/her hands on it.

Here's the question: is there anyone at work you would be sad to find is the culprit? Anyone at all? If there is any person there whom you would not be happy to expose as a sneak and a thief, for God's sake, do not proceed further. It will not be worth it. I caught a friend in a lie, once, and needlessly called him on it. I'd be just as smart, and mayhap a little wiser, had I left matters alone.

lno
01-11-2006, 12:17 PM
Would you stop bringing the one with the chicken breast and mushroom pasta? It's really not the best Lean Cuisine offering and the mushrooms make my throat swell shut.

Ty Cobb
01-11-2006, 12:42 PM
I solved it this way. Insult him/her, but in a way that makes him feel small rather than belligerant. Things like "Hands off, creep" are like throwing down the gauntlet. But I put a note inside: "This is not yours. Yet you take it anyway. Are you aged ten??"

NurseCarmen
01-11-2006, 12:47 PM
Here's the question: is there anyone at work you would be sad to find is the culprit? It's funny you mention that. This week, the two co-workers that would bum me out the most are out of town. And the theif's favorite (and alas, mine as well) meal, the Deluxe Baked Potato, went missing. But even if there was more than one thief, and one was one or both of them, I still would rather know. Just so I could place my opinions of that or those people in the right place.

I've always suspected Ino. Mostly because I always spell lno wrong, but partly because he works in a building with a giant ashtray on top. Mother always told me to stay away from people who work under giant ashtrays.

Amazon Floozy Goddess
01-11-2006, 12:54 PM
The cash box is a great idea.

When I was in college, everyone in my program had their own computer, but there were always some assholes who would use other people's computers to play games, etc. if the person wasn't there. These were old iMacs that weren't already password protected, so anyone and their mother could log on. I downloaded a freeware password protection program for it. When booted up, it would ask for the password. If some jerk tried to guess it (which happened a few times), the computer would scream, "Alert! Alert!" over and over again until the proper password was provided or the computer turned off. That put an end to the unauthorized usage for me, anyway....

Kalhoun
01-11-2006, 01:01 PM
GO TO YOUR BOSS. We had a problem like this at one large company I worked for, and the perp was fired. I think its reasonable to expect a degree of security while you're at work. Someone else might be having the same problem. Does the perp leave the box in the garbage? I wonder if an after-hours sweep would produce the evidence.

KRC
01-11-2006, 01:14 PM
OK, the hamster died on my first attempt to post, but here goes again:

I second going to the supervisor. Unless, of course, you suspect the supervisor is the thief.

I've seen lunchboxes with locks on them. They were at a novelty shop and they were Hare Krishna lunchboxes, but they had locks.

NurseCarmen
01-11-2006, 01:31 PM
I actually was bitching to the head of HR about this, over lunch the other day. She complained about it too. So I've tried that angle.

Beadalin
01-11-2006, 01:59 PM
he works in a building with a giant ashtray on top
That's not an ashtray, it's a UFO! Just not actively engaging in the F portion.

I have a Futurama lunchbox myself, and so far, nothing has been stolen out of it, though items I've left in the fridge without the lunchbox often were stolen. I once left a note about a stupid Slimfast someone took, saying I hoped they'd gain 10 pounds. Good times I had there. Good times.

lieu
01-11-2006, 03:30 PM
Wrap them in a (clean) pair of panties. Except if they're finger sandwiches.

KRC
01-11-2006, 03:31 PM
I did a google search for secure lunch boxes and I found this:

http://entertainmentearth.com/prodinfo.asp?number=AU10629

That might discourage thieves, though slapping a padlock on it would discourage them more.

xbuckeye
01-11-2006, 03:54 PM
I think this is the perfect time to missuse a biohazard container and tamper evident tape.

Seriously, if this is a chronic problem then maybe your supervisor would install a padlock on the refrigerator and make you get a supervisor to get your lunch out. I doubt anyone has the balls to take someone else's lunch right in front of someone. Also, if it turns out to be the night janitor or something, they won't have access. If you want to make management take notice, start calling the police and filing a report. After all, it is theft. The person who is taking your lunch will likely see or hear about the cops being on the case and stop taking your lunch. I successfully stopped prank calls that way (I knew who was doing it, and they lived within eyesight of me).

Or, take a hypodermic needle and inject the food coloring suggested above, perhaps one that makes you urinate interesting colors. When your food dissappears again, look for the person with the easter egg colored lips.

Or start eating haggas for lunch.

iamthewalrus(:3=
01-11-2006, 05:06 PM
Can I really be the first person to suggest laxatives?

Bongmaster
01-11-2006, 05:09 PM
Discard the other, more sensible, ideas and get even. Open the box and container without being obvious. Smear food with something foul but not toxic. Reseal. Allow the thief to strike. The next day leave a note pasted to your food explaining exactly what you have done. Of course he will try and get revenge so you must now be vigilant in watching the fridge. Personally I'd setup a remote web camera that I could monitor from my desk. Once I caught the guy I'd have him fired.

lno
01-11-2006, 05:26 PM
UFO on top? Ashtray? It's a halo! It's a goddamn halo!

It's over on the right (http://lexpix.com/main_skyline/b/b_09.html). Obviously the halo exists because I've never stolen anyone's lunch. Well, except for the frozen entrees that were a few months old. C'mon, if your Stouffer's turkey dinner has been there since September, you really don't want it any more, right? Right?

...right?

ioioio
01-11-2006, 08:01 PM
My revenge would be much nastier than what Bongmaster suggests. I'd prepare a special meal for the thief. The main course would be feces (for example, a couple of scoops from the cat box). Side dishes could include a bloody tampon, used toilet paper, and/or a pool of spit. A nurse should access to all kinds of nasty stuff.

NurseCarmen
01-11-2006, 10:03 PM
Well, I'm not a Nurse.

Heck. I'm not even a Carmen.

I'm a male Macintosh computer geek in a large ad agency.

TheLoadedDog
01-11-2006, 10:16 PM
My revenge would be much nastier than what Bongmaster suggests. I'd prepare a special meal for the thief. The main course would be feces (for example, a couple of scoops from the cat box). Side dishes could include a bloody tampon, used toilet paper, and/or a pool of spit. A nurse should access to all kinds of nasty stuff.
You don't even need to go that far. You prepare a guerilla lunch with the help of rather hot spices. We had a guy at work who used to steal lunch and would drink cartons of milk that people brought in because the whitener in the coffee machines is horrible. He got caught when a woman brought a small carton of milk (half pint), upended an entire jar of paprika into it, shook it well, then left it in the fridge as a trap. The perp came rushing out of the meal room unable to speak. Everyone laughed at him. Nothing was ever said, but he never did it again.

xbuckeye
01-11-2006, 10:21 PM
Well, I'm not a Nurse.

Heck. I'm not even a Carmen.

I'm a male Macintosh computer geek in a large ad agency.
Dude, my reality has sooo been warped. I'm gonna have to start drinking again.

But it would make the biohazard bag more effective, a fellow nurse could've just autoclaved the meal and eaten it.

Dragwyr
01-12-2006, 08:46 AM
I like the idea of revenge, but if it were me, I would just start keeping my lunch at my desk.

A question: Does the perp even know who you are? I once worked at a company that had several facilities around the country, all of which were large enough that you didn't necessarily know everyone that shared your break room.

monica
01-12-2006, 09:13 AM
Just one very important thing:

If you tamper with one of the boxes of food, make sure to remember which one you tampered with. Otherwise, you could be in for a very nasty surprise.

NurseCarmen
01-12-2006, 10:01 AM
Does the perp even know who you are? I write my name on the lunch, and since I work in IT every knows who I am, so yeah. Thanks. That makes it worse, doesn't it?

gotpasswords
01-12-2006, 12:45 PM
What you need to do is take a couple slices of leftover pizza and spike them with sliced magic mushrooms, then wait.

When someone jumps onto the copier and starts screaming that their keyboard is trying to kill them, you've found your thief.

swampbear
01-12-2006, 01:01 PM
What you need to do is take a couple slices of leftover pizza and spike them with sliced magic mushrooms, then wait.

When someone jumps onto the copier and starts screaming that their keyboard is trying to kill them, you've found your thief.
A keyboard never tried to kill me but a laser printer once cussed at me. It kept flashing "MF" at me.

If you can afford it [b]NurseCarmen{/b], and you're company will allow it, invest in one of those mini fridges. I loves me my mini fridge. We don't have any trouble with lunch theft (well, not since the thief left) but I do like having an ice cold soda or bottle of water right beside my desk when I want it.

Troy McClure SF
01-12-2006, 01:15 PM
He got caught when a woman brought a small carton of milk (half pint), upended an entire jar of paprika into it, shook it well, then left it in the fridge as a trap. The perp came rushing out of the meal room unable to speak. Everyone laughed at him. Nothing was ever said, but he never did it again.
I fully support this route.

Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor
01-12-2006, 02:06 PM
You don't even need to go that far. You prepare a guerilla lunch with the help of rather hot spices. We had a guy at work who used to steal lunch and would drink cartons of milk that people brought in because the whitener in the coffee machines is horrible. He got caught when a woman brought a small carton of milk (half pint), upended an entire jar of paprika into it, shook it well, then left it in the fridge as a trap. The perp came rushing out of the meal room unable to speak. Everyone laughed at him. Nothing was ever said, but he never did it again.

Dose a salad with Castor Oil.

To make an impression. :D

Czarcasm
01-12-2006, 07:21 PM
[Moderator Underoos On]No more posts about doctoring lunches, please. It is dangerous and most likely illegal.[/Moderator Underoos On]

Fish
01-12-2006, 08:38 PM
All you have to do is post something on the meal:
You are being watched. I am tracking employee attendance and lunch theft. I have ruled out most of the staff except you and a few others. I will know who you are soon, and when I do, I will take my proof to the boss.
Put a date on the note, and update the note frequently, with ever-more dire warnings showing that you are closing in. The thief isn't likely to stop completely, or stop forever, but it may scare them off — long enough for you to begin tracking it for real.

Hopefully the thief isn't smart enough to realize how difficult it would be to track two simultaneous thieves.

Audrey Levins
01-12-2006, 10:04 PM
Perhaps a delicate-wash bag? I have a small one I wash my bras in, but I know they make larger ones for sweaters and stuff like that. Mine's made by Woolite, and has a fabric loop to cover and secure the zipper once the bag is closed; you could padlock the zipper to the loop. Again, you're not looking for impenetrable security, just something to make it a time-consuming and noticeable PITA to steal your lunch, seeing as the thief would have to literally destroy the fabric to get past the lock.

It wouldn't take up much room in the freezer either.

You can find them at Wal-Mart (and places like that) in the aisle where they sell ironing boards and ironing-board covers, etc.

Wile E
01-13-2006, 12:16 AM
You could buy a big bag of frozen brussel sprouts, empty the bag (do what you will with the sprouts) and keep your lunches in the bag. You may want to keep a few of the sprouts in the bag so it has the proper lumpy effect. I once used this technique successfully to keep some ice cream bars from getting eaten, except I used a bag of frozen broccoli but too many people actually like broccoli so brussel spouts might be better.

35340
01-16-2006, 03:39 PM
I would caution against a mini fridge if you are bringing in frozen food. It will not stay frozen over the course of the week at a safe temperature.

Bring one in daily, or get a sack or freezer sack (they have them here, it's a foil padded bag at the supermarket) that has a handle and you can clip a lock onto.

When I was pregnant I had a medium sized zippered lunch bag that was broken into quite often and used (opened) or new food was stolen quite often. At that time there were only a couple dozen of us on staff and it was very unlikely to be one of them (I was mostly in sight of the kitchen) - turned out to be the janitorial staff (this was after my new block of cheese was stolen, on the same day the staff 'kindly' and without warning "cleaned out the fridge", leaving empty containers (including my bag) on the kitchen table.

This bag, for example, can easily get a lock on it through the pull tabs (metal or cloth if those are loops).

http://amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0001XJ3E0

It's a nice color, maybe you can put crime scene tape on it. If they have it in red, get something "biohazardy" to mark it with.

Before you "lock" it, though, maybe set it in the fridge (not freezer) on top of one of those 'motion' alarm things you can get cheaply at the drugstore - way in the back of the fridge so no one has to move it unless they want in it.

enipla
01-16-2006, 06:49 PM
Who in the heck do you people work with??????????

They steal your LUNCH!

That’s beyond ick! And anyone caught doing such a thing would be immediately fired, either by HR or me.

If someone started stealing lunches out of the ‘refer’ they would be so ostracized that I very much doubt they would be let into the building. They sure as shit would never get any help from me ever again.

Honestly, do these people have no self control, no common decency?

It stuns me that anyone would steal someone else lunch. You work with children?

SmartAleq
01-16-2006, 08:58 PM
Call centers are notorious for this kind of crap--everybody I know has had their lunch ripped off at least once. Last time it happened to me I posted the following on the fridge: "To the jerk who stole the sandwich out of my zippered lunch bag: I've had my lunch stolen before, so I make a habit of putting a nice little loogie on every sandwich I bring here. I have no problems eating my own saliva and such, and it makes it almost worth going hungry today knowing that YOU ate it too! Bon appetit, shithead!" Nobody's touched my lunch bag since... :eek:

I did something similar at another place I worked, but instead of loogies I wrote down that I had put a bit of my own blood in there--welcome to the wonderful world of Hepatitis! It's not true, but I figure the culprit's stomach was NOT feeling really good that day...

Good times, good times... my aunt once discouraged a cow-ork from drinking all her orange juice by liberally dosing it with alum--it was pretty obvious who the culprit was after he hijacked the bottle... ;)

Harriet the Spry
01-16-2006, 09:30 PM
I will post a cautionary tale about sending dire warnings to the public mailing list.

I worked with a very, very sweet woman. She was adored by one and all for her kind personality. She became pregnant, and eventually was at the very pregnant stage. She and her husband were pinching pennies to save up for the new baby, so rather than buying an ice cream downtown as an afternoon treats, she stored a box of ice cream sandwiches in the office fridge.

At some point, someone stole one, matter of fact it was her last one.

She expressed her righteous indignation via an email to the whole (70 person or so) department. We were all very sympathetic and couldn't believe someone in our group could do such a horrible thing to such a nice person.

Our manager discretely called her aside to explain she should not persist in tracking down the culprit - it had been one of the "big bosses." :rolleyes:

Mac Guffin
01-17-2006, 02:59 AM
As Czarcasm warned, tampering with food using things like laxitives or other non food ingredents is illegal, and can be punished severly. Laxitives in large doses can be dangerous.

As TheLoadedDog mentioned, Super hot spices may do well in revealing your thief. With such additives you have full deniabilty.

Here are some links to get started...

These look good... (http://king-cart.com/cgi-bin/cart.cgi?store=screamindemon&product=Infernal+Hot+Sauces&exact_match=exact)

Here are a few other possibilities.. (http://chez-williams.com/Hot%20Sauce/hothome.htm)

BiblioCat
01-17-2006, 07:52 AM
Who in the heck do you people work with??????????

They steal your LUNCH!
....
Honestly, do these people have no self control, no common decency?

It stuns me that anyone would steal someone else lunch. You work with children?These kinds of threads seem to pop up with appaling regularity. I've only worked at one place where lunches went missing on any kind of regular basis. We had a 'Grazer' (so-named in another thread), who would sneak bits and pieces from various lunches till he had himself a full lunch. A sandwich from this lunch, applesauce from that lunch, chips from a third lunch, and so on.

It just amazes me what people will do for a tuna sandwich or last night's leftovers. First of all, it's wrong.
Second, aren't they afraid of getting caught? I'd be terrifed of chowing down on my ill-gotten goods and having the rightful owner walk in and catch me.
What the hell is wrong with people?

robardin
01-17-2006, 09:41 PM
I used to work as a clerical temp the summer after I graduated from HS (my main marketable skill being able to type at 95 wpm and knowing how to use WordPerfect), and often brought in sandwiches or leftovers from home to save money, as I was paid a whopping $5/hour (in 1988). Then one day my sandwich (which I had put in a plain brown bag with no label or anything) was eaten. The raider left me my soda, though. (I guess RC Cola wasn't up to their high standards of cola-ness.)

I didn't starve, but I did have to go out to get a sandwich at a deli, which cost me almost 2 hours' worth of take-home pay in midtown Manhattan.

I strongly suspected it was one of three superstitious secretaries that frequented that corner kitchen of the office. By "superstitious" I mean that they all went to fortunetellers on a semi-regular basis and discussed horoscopes, Tarot readings, dream interpretations, and talked about hearing ghosts at home and whatnot, which drove me nuts. We were pretty much the only ones keeping lunches in the kitchen fridge on a regular basis, since most office workers in Midtown go out to get lunch to catch their daily 15 minute dose of natural light.

Rather than confront them (and not knowing which one it might have been anyway), I drew "lidless eye" and Egyptian Ankh symbols on my next lunch bag with the warning THIS LUNCH IS CURSED in black magic marker. And then, being a lazy bastard, reused the bag as much as possible.

I ended up going through 3 or 4 bags like this, but made it through the rest of the summer without losing my lunch (so to speak), and as an added bonus, those three secretaries would stop their mystical talking whenever I came into view.

To be fair, they were perfectly civil and nice otherwise, and after reading some of the other accounts of lunch poaching by "big bosses" in this thread, I feel kinda bad now about freaking them out when I consider the possibility almost 20 years later that, well, maybe it was someone "higher up" that did it... Especially when I consider the rejection of my RC Cola, and also recall that the only person who ever commented on my "cursed lunchbag" was a VP who saw me taking it out of the fridge one day, and said to me, "Cursed?! <laughs> Do you really think that will be effective?" Hmm... :mad:

elbows
06-03-2013, 07:21 PM
Screw a cloth bag, that'll never work, they may have scissors in an office!

I'd look for a wire cage for a small animal. Easily AND successfully lockable, and probably not too expensive! Has the added bonus of letting the hungry lunch stealer see it's baked potatoes all the way through! But he can get none!

Failing this, I would observe which entrees never get taken, save the boxes, then do a little repackaging so no one can tell it's really the baked potato! Bwaaaahaha!

EmilyG
06-03-2013, 07:52 PM
NurseCarmen, if you're still around, I hope you did find a solution to your problem of 7 years ago. :)

HMS Irruncible
06-03-2013, 08:40 PM
When I bring a frozen lunch, I don't bother putting it in the freezer. Just let it sit in my office all morning.

By lunch time, it's thawed and real easy to heat.
This. If after 50 posts you don't realize this is the only answer, you deserve to have your lunch stolen. Even most leftovers can be unrefrigerated at room temp for ~4 hours. I do it every day, no theft problems whatsoever.

cochrane
06-04-2013, 05:19 AM
This. If after 50 posts you don't realize this is the only answer, you deserve to have your lunch stolen. Even most leftovers can be unrefrigerated at room temp for ~4 hours. I do it every day, no theft problems whatsoever.

50 posts and 7 years. :D

Mrs. Bottomly
06-04-2013, 05:41 AM
After someone stole my lunch, I kept packing a nice lunch for myself, but I wrapped it in an ancient looking, tattered plastic bag that made it appear as if it had been in the work freezer for months! I also made sure to use old Tupperware and put crumpled napkins in the bag to give it the appearance of being a less than desirable lunch.

stui magpie
06-04-2013, 07:24 AM
Wow, another zombie thread.

I take my lunch in an insulated lunch bag with a freezer brick and leave it on my desk.

But if you have to use the communal fridge and someone's stealing it, I'd put 5 in there, open all the boxes and lift all the edges so no one else can tell them apart, but spike one with some serious hot chilli sauce. bad stuff, take your breathe away stuff. Put a mark on that container and wait for it to go and see who screams.

Sailboat
06-04-2013, 08:51 AM
Frankly, if anyone wants to steal a seven-year-old lunch, they're welcome to it. :)

kbear
06-06-2013, 04:12 AM
Crap! I wish the front page would show the thread start date. Got all the way to 48 (where the heck is the number sign on a Mac keyboard?) before I noticed.

Glory
06-06-2013, 04:43 PM
I either missed this thread the first time around or forgot it. I'm glad it got bumped, it was a great read (over lunch, natch).

si_blakely
06-07-2013, 05:39 AM
I'm glad it got bumped, it was a great read (over lunch, natch).Yeah, but whose lunch was it?

Cartooniverse
06-07-2013, 09:48 AM
7 years. Can food really last that long?

Clothahump
06-07-2013, 12:16 PM
Put it in a container labelled "Human Brainzzzz". Because everyone knows that zombies like to steal fresh brain lunches.

Munch
06-07-2013, 04:39 PM
Do not eat 7 year old food.

But I'd put a little sign on my stack of 6 meals: "One of these has been tampered with, and I'm not telling you which one, or what I've done to it. Steal at your own risk."

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