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View Full Version : Ladies: What good is a bidet, nowadays?


BrainGlutton
12-20-2006, 11:29 PM
I mean, it seems to me like it would only really be useful in a time and place where women do not have access to the facilities for daily hot baths/showers. (And very useful and valued there!) Which might explain why bidets are so rare in America. Has it any other practical value?

awldune
12-21-2006, 12:17 AM
Bidets aren't just for ladies. They are also used to wash around the anus in place of or in combination with toilet paper. Much appreciated by hemorrhoid sufferers.

WhyNot
12-21-2006, 12:30 AM
OK, I've been wondering something for a while now, and I'm going to hide it here in this thread where I can pretend I never posted it. I'm going to spoiler it, because it might be TMI-y. It's a question to men about the probablity of one reason men might need a bidet (or at least, that's how I'm justifying the question in this thread):
Do men ever get feces on their scrotums? I ask because of course the little boys in diapers that I babysit do, and it's really hard to get off of the underside - the skin forms almost a divot in the center bottom of the scrotum when wiped with a diaper wipe. If it happens while moving your bowels on a toilet, how on earth can you clean that off with only toilet paper?

As for the OP, I've never used a bidet, but I used a sitz bath (basically a squirt bottle filled with warm water) after giving birth (both the time I delivered vaginally, and after the c-section) and it was very, very nice. If I owned a home and had the money, I'd consider installing a bidet.

Valgard
12-21-2006, 12:47 AM
OK, I've been wondering something for a while now, and I'm going to hide it here in this thread where I can pretend I never posted it. I'm going to spoiler it, because it might be TMI-y. It's a question to men about the probablity of one reason men might need a bidet (or at least, that's how I'm justifying the question in this thread):

Gah. No. I've never even heard of that being a problem. Maybe if you had violent projectile diarrhea while doing a headstand or something.

Damn.

Malienation
12-21-2006, 01:27 AM
No, WhyNot, that never, ever has happened to me. Ever. Trust me on this one. Babies are different; everything's all mushing around in there.

Spidey
12-21-2006, 01:34 AM
There's the old argument, "would you only use a piece of paper to clean poop off of your arm?". I think bidets are useful for anyone who is interested in removing the brown with a bit more assuredness. You don't really feel like taking a shower every time you drop a log, especially if you're not at home. The bidet is useful for an impromptu cleaning of all nether regions, whether you be man or woman.

Red Barchetta
12-21-2006, 02:38 AM
Another "no" WhyNot - I have never heard anyone complain of this.

Don't fight the hypothetical
12-21-2006, 02:49 AM
Do men ever get feces on their scrotums?
Recently I started working at a decorative plumbing store. In the bathroom we have a bidet toilet seat. It's wonderful. Heated seat (Mmmmmm), rear wash (two settings), front wash, etc. So after I stand up from a rear wash there is fecal matter all over the bowl. I can't help but think it also sprayed that stuff all over my ball sack.
Though I dry, despite the 'Air Dry' function (with no... um, residue), I still feel that, yeah, I got some on my scrotum.

Tomcat
12-21-2006, 03:29 AM
I think they are mainly used for masturbation and as a supplemental water dish for the family dog these days.

Nava
12-21-2006, 03:48 AM
My grandma used them as an antibaby method. While she hasn't been at risk of pregnancy for decades, she still washes "piecemeal like cats"; I think it may be a leftover from having been born at a time when water had to be carried up in bowls from the fountain in the street.

Both Mom and SiL have hemorroids and use it a lot.

I never use it.

Beware of Doug
12-21-2006, 04:38 AM
My grandma used them as an antibaby method. And, uh, how many aunts and uncles do you have again? ;)

Nava
12-21-2006, 04:59 AM
And, uh, how many aunts and uncles do you have again? ;)

Aunt Lolita, dead at age 3.

Mom.

Aunt Lolita.

No abortions, provoked or natural.

So 3 pregnancies total.

Her younger sister: two pregnancies (one girl, one spontaneous abortion), used condoms.
Elder sister: shotgun marriage, 6 girls followed by a dozen provoked abortions, then the mdiwife told her "I'm sick of you putting yourself, me and my other patients at risk, I've told you of ways you can keep from getting pregnant, I've given your name to all other midwives in town and I don't want to see you again unless you're at 9 months", followed by 6 more girls and 2 boys.

WhyNot
12-21-2006, 08:45 AM
Thanks for the answers, guys! That's one of those disgusting weird questions that's been lurking on my mind for far too long. I'm glad I can forget about it.





And, uh...masturbatory? Really? I never knew that. I may have to...uh...do a little product research...

Uncommon Sense
12-21-2006, 09:22 AM
And, uh...masturbatory? Really? I never knew that. I may have to...uh...do a little product research...
Only if the water's warm. Guys, right?

Swallowed My Cellphone
12-21-2006, 09:54 AM
Toilet paper only cleans so well. I like a good bidet washing for that extra clean feeling of the nether regions.

DNFTHypothetical I've never had that experience with a bidet. After wiping thoroughly with TP, I took advantage of the hotel's bidet and saw no mess at all in the bowl afterwards. Maybe the bidet you tried had some serious firehose-spray setting.

Sapo
12-21-2006, 10:07 AM
WhyNot, because no! Maybe in orbit but not on earth.

At any rate, our bidet is a fantastic magazine holder. It is a bit of pain to clean as it seems to catch every hair we shed, but it is really worth it.

Ethilrist
12-21-2006, 10:15 AM
Whynot, no, as indicated above. However, excessive body hair may be an issue for some guys. I'm just sayin'.

silenus
12-21-2006, 10:28 AM
No bidet in our household, but WetWipes serve the same function, ie getting the area squeaky clean.

The Chao Goes Mu
12-21-2006, 10:30 AM
I really wish I had one. (Female here) It'd be alot more environmentally friendly than all of the baby wipes I go through now. In spite of showering daily, I think taking a dump requires more than just a few swipes with TP to effectively clean one's ass.

Yeah, I'm OCD about my nether regions. Very OCD.

InappropriateHumor
12-21-2006, 10:38 AM
No bidet in our household, but WetWipes serve the same function, ie getting the area squeaky clean.

I second this statement. They make some nifty flushable moist wipes nowadays.

The Chao Goes Mu
12-21-2006, 11:01 AM
I second this statement. They make some nifty flushable moist wipes nowadays.

I have yet to hear any plumber give a nod to anything claiming to be "flushable" except for toilet paper.

Carl Corey
12-21-2006, 11:03 AM
WhyNot, that has never happened to me.

Swallowed My Cellphone
12-21-2006, 12:13 PM
I ask because of course the little boys in diapers that I babysit do,
Never had that issue happen either. Perhaps is a wipe front-to-back vs. back-to-front kind of thing. Changing a diaper with a kid on his back is pretty different than an older fella sitting on the loo.

chowder
12-21-2006, 12:28 PM
'scuse me but what's all this talk of washing ones nads and other dangly bits in a bidet?
Everybody knows a bidet is for washing your feet in, innit?

Ethilrist
12-21-2006, 12:42 PM
No, it's for washing your backside.

ouryL
12-21-2006, 02:54 PM
I would love a bidet in my house. :D

brewha
12-21-2006, 03:00 PM
I have never used a bidet, but I do have a question for those who have. Does the water come out warm right away? I know when I turn on the faucet it comes out cold at first and I really can't see how that would be comfortable. Or, do you adjust the temp and then sit down on the seat? It just seems a bit odd to me.

Carol the Impaler
12-21-2006, 05:49 PM
I mean, it seems to me like it would only really be useful in a time and place where women do not have access to the facilities for daily hot baths/showers. (And very useful and valued there!) Which might explain why bidets are so rare in America. Has it any other practical value?


I just want to know why BrainGlutton only addressed this to the ladies. Hon, do you think we douche with that thing?

percussion
12-21-2006, 07:38 PM
The BIDOUCHE!

rocksolid
12-21-2006, 07:52 PM
Well i can't see that there is ever going to be a better time to ask this question so what the hell...

Someone please talk me through the using the bidet procedure. Am i really stupid or is it as awkward as it seems? I picture shuffle over to bidet with trousers round ankles stifling movement in semi-still-sitting-down position. Squat over bidet? Or sit down on rim? Water jet asshole with no other assistance? By that i mean, do you use a cloth or toilet roll, a hand? I guess not but i can't think i'd ever wash a body part just by jetting it with water. Anyway, then back over to toilet via same awkward semi-squat trousers round ankles stumble to dry ass with toilet paper?

Ain't it amazing the things we seem to get through life without ever knowing :)

Next week, someone tell me about this tying shoe laces thing...

friedo
12-21-2006, 08:10 PM
A friend of mine broke his arm pretty bad and was no longer able to reach behind himself to wipe his ass. I helpfully suggested that, for the time being, he simply use his other arm. The human body is nicely redundant in that way.

He looked at me like I was crazy.

So he got a bidet and has been happily using it ever since.

Personally, I think he always secretly wanted a bidet and just broke his arm as an excuse to get it.

Green Cymbeline
12-21-2006, 09:15 PM
Cottonelle Flushable Wet Wipes (http://cottonelle.com/products/folded.asp) are the best! So much more convenient than a bidet.

Harmonious Discord
12-21-2006, 09:29 PM
A friend of mine broke his arm pretty bad and was no longer able to reach behind himself to wipe his ass. I helpfully suggested that, for the time being, he simply use his other arm. The human body is nicely redundant in that way.

He looked at me like I was crazy.

So he got a bidet and has been happily using it ever since.

Personally, I think he always secretly wanted a bidet and just broke his arm as an excuse to get it.

Glad to hear that he didn't do a handyman special and use the sink sprayer in the kitchen. ;)

Harmonious Discord
12-21-2006, 09:36 PM
I do have to ask. Does the water end up dribling on your pants and underwear, because the water gets all over? This one is serious, unlike the last.

Booker57
12-21-2006, 09:37 PM
A friend of mine broke his arm pretty bad and was no longer able to reach behind himself to wipe his ass. I helpfully suggested that, for the time being, he simply use his other arm. The human body is nicely redundant in that way.

He looked at me like I was crazy.

So he got a bidet and has been happily using it ever since.

Personally, I think he always secretly wanted a bidet and just broke his arm as an excuse to get it.

Have you tried to use your other hand? I can't seam to get the hang of it. My dream house has a bidet

F. U. Shakespeare
12-21-2006, 09:49 PM
I'm a male who has for decades brought a cup or small bottle of water into the bathroom with me, which I pour over the toilet paper. This offers benefits similar to a bidet and those Cottonelle products (although my way is a lot cheaper).

In contrast, in the middle east, the water is generally available, but I have to remember to bring the toilet paper.

Sapo
12-21-2006, 11:07 PM
I do have to ask. Does the water end up dribling on your pants and underwear, because the water gets all over? This one is serious, unlike the last.

That was the end result (NPI) of my early experiments with a bidet. Your arse gets all wet and then you need a towel. When you get up, water on your cheeks runs down your legs and messes up your clothing. Was I doing something wrong?

capybara
12-22-2006, 12:44 AM
Ok, checking in as a female American who likes bidets:
Why take a shower everyday if really only your armpits and netherbits need it every day?
And, say, it's a hot and sweaty or otherwise "not-so-fresh" day -- midday moment/ post-disco nap and you're good as new.
Ditto "afternoon delight" and don't want to bother with a full shower.
Ditto hemorrhoids. Rashy. Otherwise unpleasant. Good as new.
Your arse gets all wet and you're smart enough to have a hand towel in reach. What's complicated about that?
Also good for drying out swimsuits and keeping beer chilled in Spain midsummer if you don't have a fridge.

35340
12-22-2006, 12:48 AM
violent projectile diarrhea while doing a headstand or something.

BANDNAME!


/em posting unsoberlike

Mrs Johnson
12-22-2006, 12:59 AM
I've never used one but I'd try it. I hate pooping and not being able to shower afterwards. Feels icky. So yeah... why not butt-wash. Sounds like a good idea to me as long as the water is warm.

chowder
12-22-2006, 03:43 AM
No, it's for washing your backside.

Well who'd a thunk it.

Truly we live in wondrous times

Muffin
12-22-2006, 04:11 AM
And remember, kids, it is not a child-height water fountain.

Glory
12-22-2006, 10:52 AM
On a related note - I found the bathroom set up in India completely mystifying for the reasons listed above. Instead of toilet paper, there would be a cold water spigot and a jug. I carried around toilet paper with me because I just couldn't figure out how that system was supposed to work - it seemed your butt would get super wet and then you'd drip all over your clothes.

Swallowed My Cellphone
12-22-2006, 01:01 PM
That was the end result (NPI) of my early experiments with a bidet. Your arse gets all wet and then you need a towel. When you get up, water on your cheeks runs down your legs and messes up your clothing. Was I doing something wrong?I remove my pants altogether and set them on the chair/bench (I was in a hotel). The bidet was right next to the toilet with the toilet paper between them, so there was no shuffling accross the room. But I did have to remember to toss the toilet paper in the toilet for flushing and not in the bidet. I did not get water all over my butt cheaks. Yet, it everything felt so wet I thought I ought to be towelling off, even though the TP sufficed.

However, in a hotel in Panama the "bidet" was more of a fancy, miniature shower head, angled like a dental instrument, on a hose beside the toilet. I got water everywhere and didn't use it again after the first attempt.

Harmonious Discord
12-22-2006, 01:47 PM
I can see the people out side the bathroom, that has these. They'll be pointing at people leaving and saying "Look, they used the bidet."

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