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View Full Version : I just performed minor surgery on myself (waaay TMI)


cainxinth
02-29-2008, 02:44 PM
I don't why I feel the need to share this, but I just have to tell someone. I developed a small nodule on my scrotum a few months ago. I let my dermatologist have a look at it and she determined it was a sebaceous cyst, which is not uncommon or dangerous. I could have had her lop the thing off, but I just never got around to it. Anyway, I'm home today writing a long and tedious treatise on the history of not for profit cemeteries and while readjusting myself I caught a feel of it, as I sometimes do. The thing annoys me. I just don't like extraneous things on my body, be they hairs, skin tags, cysts, or other bodily minutia. I'm the lord of this manner and I decide who stays and who goes. So I said to hell with it, this thing is coming off today.

I sterilized my fine tip tweezers and cuticle scissors with some ketel one and a zippo. Then I shaved the area and swabbed it with alcohol. With some hesitation I gingerly cut away the thin lawyer of skin covering the cyst. There wasn't much pain surprisingly. There wasn't a terrific amount of blood either but enough that it was making visibility an issue. It took a few attempts but I finally managed to catch hold of the offending growth and carefully yanked it out. I dissected it to be certain it was in fact filled with sebum, which is a waxy, white substance, and sure enough it was. Satisfied with my effort, I cleaned up and slapped a band-aid on. I'm 15 minutes into post-op and so far the operation appears to be an unmitigated success.

I don't know why. But, somehow the whole experience was... well, exhilaratingly. Maybe I should have been a surgeon.

tdn
02-29-2008, 02:49 PM
I sterilized my fine tip tweezers and cuticle scissors with some ketel one
I hope that's not the only use you got out of it.

Caricci
02-29-2008, 02:50 PM
Did it smell?

Cluricaun
02-29-2008, 03:00 PM
I'm a pretty tough guy as things go, but I draw the line at operating on my own balls. That's like Lee Marvin tough.

WhyNot
02-29-2008, 03:09 PM
I cut off a good sized skin tag (on my side, under my arm) with cuticle scissors the other day. Stopped bleeding by the time I was out of the shower.

I think you win.

Fir na tine
02-29-2008, 03:11 PM
Couldn't reach it with your teeth?

Zebra
02-29-2008, 04:10 PM
Pictures?

butler1850
02-29-2008, 04:33 PM
Oddly enough, I have one on my right sack. (or something like it, started as a big zit, and it's fading).

I'd like to do the same, but though my balls are HUGE (documented fact, makes it tough to buy pants, and boy am I happy loose fit jeans came into style after the 80s), I don't have enough balls to do the surgery myself.

I did do a self surgery on my hand years ago, during a period of no health insurance to remove a piece of glass. It was a triangular piece 3/8" long, 1/4" wide, and 1/4" high, stuck pointing upwards towards the tip of my fingernail, under the pad of my right ring finger. It had entered into my finger right at the first joint back from the tip (bottom side). A good tall glass of my buddy Jimmy Beam for courage/anesthesia, a sewing needle for leverage, and some alcohol (rubbing) to sterilize, and with a minimum of pain, it came right out. I didn't realize how big it was, and had to remove it as it was getting in the way of my work.

Flander
02-29-2008, 04:40 PM
Good thing you dissected it; I'm positive it would have grown into a hideous sac worm if you didn't.

Tupug Anachi
02-29-2008, 04:44 PM
I've done the skin tag thing. I concur, they really don't hurt and there is very little blood. Fingernail clippers work surprisingly well.

I also got annoyed with a ganglion cyst and performed my own "aspiration" a couple of times until it went away.

Kids...don't try this at home.

Really Not All That Bright
02-29-2008, 04:50 PM
I can't believe this thread is here.

I did exactly the same thing last night, except:
1) It was 3am
2) I used Bombay Sapphire and a red plastic Bic
3) It wasn't on my scrotum but on my penis
4) I wanted to make sure it could breathe so instead of putting on a Band-Aid I slathered the would in antibiotic ointment and slept au naturel

Zsofia
02-29-2008, 04:58 PM
Did it smell?
That, my dear, is the right spirit.

Argent Towers
02-29-2008, 05:00 PM
Anton Chigurh would be proud.

Cluricaun
02-29-2008, 05:01 PM
I can't believe this thread is here.

I did exactly the same thing last night, except:
1) It was 3am
2) I used Bombay Sapphire and a red plastic Bic
3) It wasn't on my scrotum but on my penis
4) I wanted to make sure it could breathe so instead of putting on a Band-Aid I slathered the would in antibiotic ointment and slept au naturel


Hell, now you know that this means that the two of you have to fight to the death with a broken whiskey bottle to see who's the crazier bastard, right?

Really Not All That Bright
02-29-2008, 05:12 PM
Hell, now you know that this means that the two of you have to fight to the death with a broken whiskey bottle to see who's the crazier bastard, right?
I would, but I've got my hands full looking for the correct procedure codes to bill my HMO for services rendered.

wisernow
02-29-2008, 05:48 PM
I could have had her lop the thing off

Not to hijack the OP, but is it normal to for male patients to have a female doctor inspecting their balls?

What would you do if you had an erection during the process??

Qadgop the Mercotan
02-29-2008, 05:51 PM
You did do the proper post-evacuation lavage to ensure that a progressive sloughing necro-fasciitis doesn't set in, didn't you?

Embarrassing if you didn't......................

Maastricht
02-29-2008, 05:51 PM
I cut open and squeezed such a sebaceous cyst on myself once. It stayed gone nicely.

WhyNot
02-29-2008, 06:08 PM
Not to hijack the OP, but is it normal to for male patients to have a female doctor inspecting their balls?

What would you do if you had an erection during the process??
If you can get an erection while a disinterested person is examining your scrotum whilst muttering words like "cyst" and "sebaceous" and "cut", than you're a far better man than I. ;)


(Or you're 17.)

Really Not All That Bright
02-29-2008, 06:10 PM
What would you do if you had an erection during the process??
Pray she wore goggles.

cainxinth
02-29-2008, 06:21 PM
You did do the proper post-evacuation lavage to ensure that a progressive sloughing necro-fasciitis doesn't set in, didn't you?

Embarrassing if you didn't......................

I had to google every word you just said, but yes, I cleaned the wound.

Cervaise
02-29-2008, 08:16 PM
I developed a small nodule on my scrotum a few months ago.I have no idea where I got this idea, but I thought you were a woman.

BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed
02-29-2008, 10:28 PM
If you can get an erection while a disinterested person is examining your scrotum whilst muttering words like "cyst" and "sebaceous" and "cut", than you're a far better man than I. ;)


(Or you're 17.)
Yeah, unless she's smoking hot, wearing a low-cut top, leaning really close to Mr Happy and speaking in a breathy voice, I'm pretty sure the ol white latex glove wrapped around my ball sac while saying "Well, they're not oozing now, so I can't get a sample," is gonna kill any thoghts that my little head might have.

As an aside, as a wrestler we had to have every every every little thing checked out the minute it surfaced. So one day after noticing a small red growth on my buttal region, I was sent to the health center. The RN gave me one of those things that you think is clothing, but then someone forgot to manufacture the entire rear of it. She left the room, saying I could put it on and take my pants off.

My thought process went, "She wants me to put on something to cover my legs so she can open the back and look at my ass without my feeling self-conscious?" It didn't make sense in the first place, and on top of that wrestlers have no shame, so she was only mildly surprised to find my trou dropped sans hospital garment when she came back in. (conclusion: it wasn't ringworm. or eczema, or folliculitis, or herpes. Wrestling was fun.)

GaryM
02-29-2008, 10:38 PM
Yeah, unless she's smoking hot, wearing a low-cut top, leaning really close to Mr Happy and speaking in a breathy voice, I'm pretty sure the ol white latex glove wrapped around my ball sac while saying "Well, they're not oozing now, so I can't get a sample," is gonna kill any thoghts that my little head might have.

As an aside, as a wrestler we had to have every every every little thing checked out the minute it surfaced. So one day after noticing a small red growth on my buttal region, I was sent to the health center. The RN gave me one of those things that you think is clothing, but then someone forgot to manufacture the entire rear of it. She left the room, saying I could put it on and take my pants off.

My thought process went, "She wants me to put on something to cover my legs so she can open the back and look at my ass without my feeling self-conscious?" It didn't make sense in the first place, and on top of that wrestlers have no shame, so she was only mildly surprised to find my trou dropped sans hospital garment when she came back in. (conclusion: it wasn't ringworm. or eczema, or folliculitis, or herpes. Wrestling was fun.)

I'm laughing so hard at this post that I just about fell out of my chair! Thank You! Thank You!

BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed
02-29-2008, 11:00 PM
I'm laughing so hard at this post that I just about fell out of my chair! Thank You! Thank You!
Glad I can amuse you with my tales of disgusting wrestling skin diseases. Somehow, however, I don't think I'll be able to produce a comedy routine of mass appeal from the topic. Some people just have no taste, ya know?

Autolycus
02-29-2008, 11:24 PM
Oh joy I have a chance to talk about this! Sebaceous cysts run in my family, and I have one in an area close to the scrotum. I'm kinda attached to it though. It waxes and wanes depending on its mood, and it never hurts. It doesn't get in the way of any romantic adventures. Hell, it shouldn't even be visible unless I take a walk on the wild side. Yes, Lumpy is quite a pal.

Beware of Doug
02-29-2008, 11:29 PM
You, sir, have earned a regular guest shot on Ow! My Balls!

China Guy
03-01-2008, 01:36 AM
You must check out this link (http://subgenius.com/subg-digest/v5/0206.html) about a guy who describes his experiences of self circumcision with cuticle scissors. :o

I now envoke the ghost of he who should not be named cough cough Jack D Tyler cough cough.

Actually it's a really funny read.

Broomstick
03-01-2008, 07:01 AM
I feel an overpowering urge to link to the Favorite Pimple Stories (http://boards.academicpursuits.us/sdmb/showthread.php?t=106449&highlight=puss+wound) thread, a classic TMI from 2002.

If you liked the OP, you'll like that thread, too. If you were feeling queasy after the OP, please do not click on that link.

aruvqan
03-01-2008, 07:37 AM
Oh why the hell is my add at the bottom of the page Congressional Election - 08 ... for Musgrove for Senator?

Not even a single reverse circumcision tug ahoy ad? *sob*

panache45
03-01-2008, 09:40 AM
Not to hijack the OP, but is it normal to for male patients to have a female doctor inspecting their balls?

What would you do if you had an erection during the process??
Well, I'm a gay man with a male doctor, and I've never come close to having that problem. Not even with a prostate exam. And he's cute, too.

GingerOfTheNorth
03-01-2008, 09:58 AM
My ads are "New Neck Surgery", "Nodule Cyst", and "Excess Skin Removal"

Ellef
03-01-2008, 01:56 PM
My ads are "New Neck Surgery", "Nodule Cyst", and "Excess Skin Removal"

I've got "The UK's leading directory for all things green". I hope that's not prophetic as far as the OP's healing wound is concerned.

Really Not All That Bright
03-01-2008, 04:56 PM
I've got "spine surgery alternative".

I don't think cainxinth or I will be giving THAT one a shot, though... if only because we can't reach.

Laughing Lagomorph
03-01-2008, 05:10 PM
I would, but I've got my hands full looking for the correct procedure codes to bill my HMO for services rendered.

I like the way you think.



I have no idea where I got this idea, but I thought you were a woman.

So did I. I must have had the OP confused with another poster.

Valgard
03-01-2008, 08:30 PM
I've got to ask, what the hell is it with other guys and their genitals? If I had a nasty growth or injury or other Unusual Circumstance Down There I'd get myself to the doctor right quick and if something needs to be done I'll have it done by someone qualified.

To date, other guys have told me about the following examples:

1. OP performing amateur surgery on his nutsack with tweezers and nail scissors.

2. Good friend of mine did not RTFM for his thickness planer, ran a short piece of lumber through it while standing immediately in the line of fire and was on the receiving end of high velocity kickback to the groin. Dropped him, his balls swelled up and he "thought that he might have to go to the hospital". THOUGHT? I'd be in the car with an icepack as soon as I could scrape myself off the floor.

3. Another good friend ignored a constantly swelling testicle for (weeks? months?) until it was the size of a baseball (his words). When he finally got it checked out it turned out to be testicular cancer. He got through it eventually but it was a long road.

I like to think that I'm a pretty handy fellow on the DIY front but we're talking about hanging drywall or fixing a clogged drain. I wouldn't try and set a broken bone much less perform genital surgery with an Xacto knife and a stack of bandaids.

mhendo
03-01-2008, 08:57 PM
If you can get an erection while a disinterested person is examining your scrotum whilst muttering words like "cyst" and "sebaceous" and "cut", than you're a far better man than I. ;) Exactly.

I've had a doctor examine my equipment exactly once as an adult, and the doctor was an absolutely smoking hot woman, in her late twenties or early thirties. The sort that would turn my head in a bar or nightclub.

But once she started flipping my junk around with her little spatula thing, and making clinical observations, an erection was the absolute last thing that was likely to happen.

chaoticbear
03-01-2008, 11:37 PM
I've never done anything like that, but I have pierced my scrotum. Three times, actually, because it's harder than you think to get it straight, even with clamps. There's actually even a video of it at bmevideo.com, but you'd have to have a membership to view it.

ETA:
I'd like to do the same, but though my balls are HUGE (documented fact, makes it tough to buy pants, and boy am I happy loose fit jeans came into style after the 80s), I don't have enough balls to do the surgery myself.

Cite? Email's in the profile! :p

Lynn Bodoni
03-02-2008, 04:41 AM
I like to think that I'm a pretty handy fellow on the DIY front but we're talking about hanging drywall or fixing a clogged drain. I wouldn't try and set a broken bone much less perform genital surgery with an Xacto knife and a stack of bandaids. Of course not.

You'd need alcohol and antibiotic ointment in addition to a cutting instrument and bandages. I, personally, never perform surgery without a good sharp pair of splinter tweezers on hand. They are useful for all sorts of tasks.

bbs2k
03-02-2008, 05:35 AM
Holy crap, I think I may have one of these, albiet a small one. I had no idea, I just thought I had a gnarly sack.

I'll inspect closer when I get home. I may have to remove it myself if that's the case, I have a constant compulsion to pick at things on my body. Scabs last for at least a month, and I... well I... I should just stop there shouldn't I?

si_blakely
03-02-2008, 07:11 AM
Not to hijack the OP, but is it normal to for male patients to have a female doctor inspecting their balls?

What would you do if you had an erection during the process??Well, I was certainly nervous about embarrassing myself when the really pretty practise nurse was preparing to remove my vasectomy stitches. I just put my mind in a whole nother place for a few minutes.

Of course, i was the one who impressed my friends on my stag night by not reacting to the two strippers who had just removed my underpants, and who were doing their best to get a rise out of me.
That was some stag night. :smack:

As for personal surgery, my tool of choice for skin tags are side-cutters. Just took off a big un on my inner thigh - tied it off with dental floss for a day before the snip. No problem.

Si

bbs2k
03-02-2008, 08:15 AM
I just performed a thorough inspection. I could have sworn I had something similar to what everyone was explaining, but alas it is gone.

Do these things occasionally go away on their own?


BRB: doing a google image search.

WhyNot
03-02-2008, 09:37 AM
I just performed a thorough inspection. I could have sworn I had something similar to what everyone was explaining, but alas it is gone.

Do these things occasionally go away on their own?


BRB: doing a google image search.
Yes, they can occasionally go away on their own. http://intelihealth.com/IH/ihtIH/WS/9339/9779.html

Count Blucher
03-02-2008, 09:46 AM
I just performed a thorough inspection. I could have sworn I had something similar to what everyone was explaining, but alas it is gone.

Do these things occasionally go away on their own?



What... balls?

I thought matrimony was usually involved...

d&r

Ellef
03-02-2008, 11:32 AM
I've never done anything like that, but I have pierced my scrotum. Three times, actually, because it's harder than you think to get it straight, even with clamps. There's actually even a video of it at bmevideo.com, but you'd have to have a membership to view it.

Wait you mean you've pierced your scrotum on purpose? And ... clamps ... ? :eek:

cainxinth
03-02-2008, 04:53 PM
I think I made a mistake. The flesh around the wound is red and throbbing. There is a greasy discharge leaking out from under the scab that has the smell of rotting meat and battery acid. I think I may have inadvertently introduced some noxious pathogen into my sensitive scrotal tissue. Perhaps there was some backwash in that bottle of ketel one.





Nah, I'm justing kidding. It's totally fine.

GingerOfTheNorth
03-02-2008, 06:05 PM
Wait you mean you've pierced your scrotum on purpose? And ... clamps ... ? :eek:
How else would you suggest someone pierces? Professional piercers clamp the area about to be pierced, be it a tongue, navel, or scrotum. At least, from what I've seen - only my ears are done.

Edit: According to Google Ads, only Democrats are piercers. Or something. I have four ads for Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama.

Tenar
03-02-2008, 08:16 PM
I just performed a thorough inspection. I could have sworn I had something similar to what everyone was explaining, but alas it is gone.


ALAS? You're disappointed at having lost an opportunity to hack away at a sebaceous cyst on your own scrote? You, sir, are made of sterner stuff.

I think I actually felt safer in the "mysterious alien menstrual discharge" thread, and that's saying something.

chaoticbear
03-02-2008, 09:31 PM
Wait you mean you've pierced your scrotum on purpose? And ... clamps ... ? :eek:

Sterile needle (as in autoclave), sanitized clamps and jewelry (boiled for some long time and then alcohol). I don't see the problem! Why would I pay someone to pierce me there? By the time someone gets to that point they have other things they should be focusing on.

WhyNot
03-02-2008, 09:34 PM
How else would you suggest someone pierces? Professional piercers clamp the area about to be pierced, be it a tongue, navel, or scrotum. At least, from what I've seen - only my ears are done.
The current trend seems to be moving away from clamps, for what it's worth. There's some indication they cause more tissue damage than they save. My piecer doesn't use them anymore for that reason.

BwanaBob
03-03-2008, 02:49 PM
I'm a pretty tough guy as things go, but I draw the line at operating on my own balls. That's like Lee Marvin tough.

This would make a great signature!

EmAnJ
03-03-2008, 02:58 PM
How interesting. I'm glad you described what the cyst looked like.

I have (what I recently found out) the same type of cyst on my neck, in the hairline, right on top of my brain stem. It's been there for about 6 or 7 years and grew a little bit in the beginning then stopped. I pinch it occasionally and I can feel it underneath.

I didn't really have a problem with it but my fiance did, so when I was at the doctor last time I asked, and that's what he told me it was. I just mentioned to someone about a week ago that I'd cut it off and see what it looks like if I could maneuver my arms like that and had the proper mirrors.

lisacurl
03-03-2008, 03:18 PM
I've offered to do this for my husband's scrotal cysts, but he's a big friggin baby. :D

I'm very anti-bump myself -- if I have a zit or ingrown hair or anything, I'm busting out implements and hand mirrors to deal with it -- so I don't know how he walks around knowing he has two of those things on this balls. His OCD must manifest elsewhere.

Count Blucher
03-03-2008, 07:34 PM
*cough* Post 298 (http://boards.academicpursuits.us/sdmb/showthread.php?t=106449&page=6&pp=50&highlight=puss+wound) *cough*

WhyNot
03-03-2008, 11:16 PM
*cough* Post 298 (http://boards.academicpursuits.us/sdmb/showthread.php?t=106449&page=6&pp=50&highlight=puss+wound) *cough*
I simply love the fact that a pimple thread on this board has 298 (and more!) posts.

And, uh, ow.

Ellef
03-04-2008, 01:35 AM
The current trend seems to be moving away from clamps, for what it's worth. There's some indication they cause more tissue damage than they save. My piecer doesn't use them anymore for that reason.

I've got an awful image in my head of those big G-clamps that carpenters use. And I would have thought the last thing a bloke would want is someone applying one of those to his nutsack. Still, whatever floats your boat :D .

WhyNot
03-04-2008, 08:50 AM
I've got an awful image in my head of those big G-clamps that carpenters use. And I would have thought the last thing a bloke would want is someone applying one of those to his nutsack. Still, whatever floats your boat :D .
Heh. No, closer to a pair of small wire kitchen tongs, only with a locking mechanism. The piercing needle goes through the metal loop. Since it's locked in place and holding the skin still, you don't have to worry about your client trembling at the last moment and screwing up your aim.

Naval piercing clamp. (http://piercingmart.com/products/slotted-navel-clamp-p35557.html)

GingerOfTheNorth
03-04-2008, 05:34 PM
Naval piercing clamp. (http://piercingmart.com/products/slotted-navel-clamp-p35557.html)

What did these guys (http://militarymuseum.org/Resources/NavalMilitia9.JPG) do to you that they need piercing?
:D

chaoticbear
03-04-2008, 09:46 PM
The current trend seems to be moving away from clamps, for what it's worth. There's some indication they cause more tissue damage than they save. My piecer doesn't use them anymore for that reason.

As I found out when I removed the clamps before the jewelry insertion, scrotal tissue spreads out a lot, and the first time I did the piercing, I couldn't find the exit hole with the jewelry. :smack:

WhyNot
03-04-2008, 11:18 PM
What did these guys (http://militarymuseum.org/Resources/NavalMilitia9.JPG) do to you that they need piercing?
:D
:smack:

laramary
03-05-2008, 04:27 PM
What did these guys (http://militarymuseum.org/Resources/NavalMilitia9.JPG) do to you that they need piercing?
:D

Did you see that kewl clamp? I would totally pierce the navy to be able to use that thing!

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