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View Full Version : Don't google 'rat scrotum'


levdrakon
07-20-2008, 07:05 PM
Your results may wildly vary.

Hey, I'm watching a friend's rat over the weekend while she's back east. Poor little guy. I was worried about his really enlarged whatever-it-is, and found it was his scrotum. What a set of balls! Are they supposed to be that big? I googled. Thanks google, that was a help. Oh, and don't click 'images,' unless you want to see guys with elephantitis of the balls.

Seemed most of the text links I came across had more to do with how to dissect them.

I just wanna know if they're supposed to be so big!

Darryl Lict
07-20-2008, 07:10 PM
My friend's pet rat had a disproportionately huge set of balls. I think you don't get a chance to check out the balls on wild rats that carefully.

levdrakon
07-20-2008, 07:22 PM
It's like sticking two one-gallon jugs of milk in your ball sack and trying to walk around all day. That can't be comfortable.

Wile E
07-20-2008, 07:26 PM
Yes, you must be careful with google, especially the images. And yes, rat balls are really supposed to be that big. Remember they don't walk upright, they walk on all fours, so the balls can just drag along the ground. :p

GaryM
07-20-2008, 07:33 PM
Yes, you must be careful with google, especially the images. And yes, rat balls are really supposed to be that big. Remember they don't walk upright, they walk on all fours, so the balls can just drag along the ground. :p

Doesn't everyone's? Guys that is. :D

levdrakon
07-20-2008, 08:01 PM
Yes, you must be careful with google, especially the images. And yes, rat balls are really supposed to be that big. Remember they don't walk upright, they walk on all fours, so the balls can just drag along the ground. :pThis poor guy likes to lay around on his side with his legs sticking up in the air looking dead, but with balls that size, I don't blame him. He needs to learn to wank. Ten times a day.

Actually, I think he's got heat exhaustion or something. It's been really hot. I put an extra bowl of water in for him, and took him out to sprinkle water all over him to help him cool off. That seemed to revive him.

He still needs to learn to wank though, you just can't have balls that big and not do something about it.

Aithele
07-20-2008, 10:14 PM
Did this make anyone else think of the bulldog from Van Wilder?

nd_n8
07-20-2008, 10:35 PM
Most obvious advise in a thread title ever.

Tamex
07-20-2008, 10:40 PM
I've never looked at rat balls, but I have heard the phrase "hung like a field mouse". My friend had pet mice, and, whoa, those things were not in proportion to their body size. It would not surprise me if rats had a similar characteristic.

don't ask
07-20-2008, 10:45 PM
I am surprised. I was of the opinion that rats have really small balls because they don't dance very much.

Mindfield
07-20-2008, 11:50 PM
I am surprised. I was of the opinion that rats have really small balls because they don't dance very much.
::cues up AC/DC::

And while we're here: Safe Search is your friend for situations like this.

Guinastasia
07-21-2008, 12:00 AM
You know with a thread title like that, people are going to do EXACTLY what you tell them not to, right? *shudder*

chicken wire?
07-21-2008, 06:39 AM
You know with a thread title like that, people are going to do EXACTLY what you tell them not to, right? *shudder*

Not me. I'm am soooo taking the advice of the OP and am not googling anything of the sort.

Hypno-Toad
07-21-2008, 08:17 AM
I remember seeing rats at the pet store and all the males were obvious because of their huge gear. It definately looks uncomfortable.

schnuckiputzi
07-21-2008, 03:35 PM
Yes, they have outsized balls. We had pet rats in my classroom (females), but then I brought in Harry, the hairless rat. I teach junior high/high school, and having to explain to 13-year old boys that there was nothing wrong with Harry, that was just his "luggage" brought expressions on their faces that I nearly laughed myself helpless. Males are actually better pets, because they love cuddling, and mine would live on my shoulder if I let him.

matt_mcl
07-22-2008, 02:55 AM
One night I decided to create a LiveJournal icon with the Pratchett quote "Divide by cucumber error - please reboot universe." That was when I learned that "cucumber" must be added to the list of things not to Google Image Search without SafeSearch on.

Jragon
07-22-2008, 04:03 AM
Also, searching for pants ironically returns very few pictures of people in pants...

Lynn Bodoni
07-22-2008, 04:44 AM
Male hamsters also seem to subscribe to the "bigger is better" school of thought when it comes to testicles. I mean, I'm female, and *I* winced when I saw our male hamster drag his balls all over his cage.

InappropriateHumor
07-22-2008, 11:35 AM
Must be a rodent thing. I bought my daughters ice cream cones and took them to the park to eat them. A couple of squirrels came by begging, so we fed them pieces of cone. One sat up on his haunches to eat his cone, and my youngest cried, "Mommy! Something's wrong with the squirrel's balls!"* She wasn't kidding, the dang thing had testicles the size of golf balls. That can't be comfortable.

We also had pet mice at one time. They also had ginormous doodles.

*Yeah, we had a quick talk about correct terminology. I can't have her bouncing into school talking about "squirrel balls".

ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies
07-22-2008, 11:47 AM
If I remember correctly, it is all about the polyandry (individual females mating with multiple males, as is the case with rats and many other rodents). For an individual male, the higher the volume of his ejaculate, the better the chances of getting one of his horses to the finish before anyone else's, ergo there has been selective evolutionary pressure to have more scrotal capacity.

Wile E
07-22-2008, 12:04 PM
It is a rodent thing. I thought I said so in my earlier post but now I see I must have edited it out when I decided to remove my story about calling certain men in tights "Squirrel Boys" at the Ren Fest. I didn't want to sound like a perv.

Mindfield
07-22-2008, 12:57 PM
Obligatory nutsack squirrel (http://nutsack.com/imsq/squirrel.jpg) post.

lizardling
07-22-2008, 02:56 PM
*nearly snorts coffee*

Yanno, this thread is making me think of tanuki (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tanuki) -- they're these Japanese mythological tricksters that look like raccoons a bit. Except they have balls their own size, and are known to do all sorts of tricks with 'em.

There's a few pictures in that wikipedia entry.

Giles
07-22-2008, 03:01 PM
*nearly snorts coffee*

Yanno, this thread is making me think of tanuki (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tanuki) -- they're these Japanese mythological tricksters that look like raccoons a bit. Except they have balls their own size, and are known to do all sorts of tricks with 'em.

There's a few pictures in that wikipedia entry.
They may figure in Japanese myths, but they are real animals, not mythical annimals.

chowder
07-22-2008, 03:11 PM
Obligatory nutsack squirrel (http://nutsack.com/imsq/squirrel.jpg) post.
Holy genitals :eek:

lizardling
07-22-2008, 03:19 PM
They may figure in Japanese myths, but they are real animals, not mythical annimals.

That's true to some degree. The entry that I linked to is for the mythological version. I've yet to hear of a raccoon dog using its nuts as a weapon for smacking people around. Or singing. :D

Mindfield
07-22-2008, 03:41 PM
*nearly snorts coffee*

Yanno, this thread is making me think of tanuki (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tanuki) -- they're these Japanese mythological tricksters that look like raccoons a bit. Except they have balls their own size, and are known to do all sorts of tricks with 'em.

There's a few pictures in that wikipedia entry.
Which brings me to my other obligatory YouTube post (http://youtube.com/watch?v=kjEHx7kM_DA), a Japanese commercial featuring Little Red Riding Hood and ... well-endowed forest animals. (Bonus cameo of tanuki, uh ... swingin')

I've been hanging around Fark way too long.

vetbridge
07-22-2008, 03:49 PM
Pigs have large testicles also. And the schlong winner might be the ostrich. A male ostrich only weighs a coupla hundred pounds, yet it seems half of that is penis.

Possibly the single funniest thing that happened during my veterinary school education was when, during equine semen collection, I saw a female classmate get slapped in the face with an erect stallion's penis. It left a nasty red welt.

ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies
07-22-2008, 04:00 PM
Pigs have large testicles also. And the schlong winner might be the ostrich. A male ostrich only weighs a coupla hundred pounds, yet it seems half of that is penis.

Possibly the single funniest thing that happened during my veterinary school education was when, during equine semen collection, I saw a female classmate get slapped in the face with an erect stallion's penis. It left a nasty red welt.

We should really swap stories some time. I worked as a Large Animal groom at OSU's Vet school, back before I decided not to join you in your professional path. Some personal highlights: turning a bunch of pretty-much-feral cows loose in a confined are and then watching suburbanite small-animal types try and learn how to handle them. Only to be bested by doing the same thing with pretty-much-feral llamas.

Zebra
07-22-2008, 04:07 PM
I see rats occasionally in the NYC subway system.

Even at 10 feet away I can tell the males from the females.

Sarahfeena
07-22-2008, 04:17 PM
I read once that the more sex partners the female of the species has during mating season, the larger the males' testicles are. So, I'm guessing that rats tend to be a bit slutty. :)

ETA: Whoops, ComeToTheDarkSide beat me to it. Sorry!

Seeker of Truth and Beauty
07-22-2008, 04:34 PM
This poor guy likes to lay around on his side with his legs sticking up in the air looking dead, but with balls that size, I don't blame him. He needs to learn to wank. Ten times a day.

Actually, I think he's got heat exhaustion or something. It's been really hot. I put an extra bowl of water in for him, and took him out to sprinkle water all over him to help him cool off. That seemed to revive him.

He still needs to learn to wank though, you just can't have balls that big and not do something about it.
I'm sure if you google hard enough*, you'll find a tutorial on how to teach a rat to masturbate. Now with bonus pictures!






*Pun very much intended.

levdrakon
07-22-2008, 04:41 PM
I'm sure if you google hard enough*, you'll find a tutorial on how to teach a rat to masturbate. Now with bonus pictures!






*Pun very much intended.The funny thing is, the rat *is* for a class and is supposed to be socialized and trained/conditioned to do something. That would have to get you an A.

iamthewalrus(:3=
07-22-2008, 04:45 PM
Safe Search is your friend for situations like this.I can't imagine that even Safe Search could do much to save you from googling "rat scrotum".

Apollyon
07-23-2008, 12:23 AM
I can't imagine that even Safe Search could do much to save you from googling "rat scrotum"."Your search - rat scrotum - did not match any documents, you pervert.

Suggestions:

Make sure all words are spelled correctly.
Try different keywords.
Try more general keywords
Try fewer keywords.
Try different keywords. Yes we know we said that already, but really, what were you thinking?"
:D

mischievous
07-23-2008, 05:52 AM
I read once that the more sex partners the female of the species has during mating season, the larger the males' testicles are. So, I'm guessing that rats tend to be a bit slutty. :)I'm not sure about rats, but male mice produce what is tactfully termed a "copulation plug" - i.e. the semen hardens into a lovely cement-like plug that completely blocks the vagina and prevents further mating. I'm sure that production of the organic glue-gun effect has something to do with their scrotal size.




For those of us that work with mice, we depend on these plugs to know if a female has mated the previous night (mice mate near midnight). When we get new students in the lab, one of the first things we teach them is how to (gently!) open the mouse vagina and check her for plugs. The expression on these kids' faces is priceless. Particularly the boys.

mischievous

pbbth
07-23-2008, 06:08 AM
Originally Posted by Zebra

I see rats occasionally in the NYC subway system.

Even at 10 feet away I can tell the males from the females.

*nods knowingly*

You've been spending time at the 59th St stop, haven't you?

There are rats elsewhere in the subway, of course, but 59th seems to be the rat hub for the entire city. Whole families of rats run around down there on that center island thing between the uptown and downtown sections of the A/B/C/D lines.

vetbridge
07-23-2008, 12:12 PM
In bulls, testicular size is correlated with fertility. It is also a heritable trait. More info here about big balled bulls. (http://dpi.vic.gov.au/DPI/nreninf.nsf/childdocs/-89E7A8DAFEA417624A2568B30004C26A-D84473774162CFC3CA256BC7008115C7-4BF899EE55945B604A256DEA00273C4B-285B591274271B4CCA256C1700047DD8?open)

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