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View Full Version : Gentelmen: what did you get your sister for her wedding?


Randy Seltzer
06-01-2010, 12:57 PM
Also accepting suggestions for what I should get my sister for her wedding.

I've been told that I probably shouldn't just get something from the registry. But I am at a complete loss. The wedding's in three weeks, and I still haven't figured it out. So I turn to the dope: what should I do?

Oredigger77
06-01-2010, 01:13 PM
When my sister got married last fall I got her a candelabra from Pier One and a bunch of candles to go with it. I never even looked at the registry. Of course I forgot to buy her anything until the day of the wedding when people asked me what I got her so this may not be the best approach.

Dewey Finn
06-01-2010, 01:21 PM
When my brother got married twenty years ago, I just gave them a check for $500. (Boring, I know, but they were impressed at the amount.)

Diogenes the Cynic
06-01-2010, 01:38 PM
I don't have a sister, but I gave one of my brothers a bread maker, and another one a espresso maker. Fun little kitchen gadgets are always nice. They can have long-term utility, purpose and entertainment value.

Chessic Sense
06-01-2010, 01:54 PM
$500. It was supposed to be a loan. Bitch.

filling_pages
06-01-2010, 01:57 PM
I got registered as a notary and performed the ceremony. Obviously, this idea is completely non-helpful for you. Sorry.

alphaboi867
06-01-2010, 02:08 PM
Well when she married the 1st time I was only 6 months old so I didn't get her anything. The 2nd time she was living out of state, got married on a whim (we found out after the fact), and I only met my brother-in-law once before they divorced (the marriage lasted less than a year). I was a teenager for wedding #3, but I didn't actually get her anything; my mom just put my name on her & my dad's gift. I think it was a breadmaker.

sugar and spice
06-01-2010, 02:17 PM
Not that this is what you asked but I think a registry gift is fine. Especially if you're short of ideas. Get a card too and write a nice note in it.

Lanzy
06-01-2010, 02:19 PM
I always give them what they want....Money!

$1000 both times

Anaamika
06-01-2010, 02:58 PM
I hate giving money for birthdays and other occasions but I see nothing wrong with giving money at a wedding, especially to your sister. Can you give a decent amount? Or maybe ask your mom what she wants and get her that.

Critical Mass
06-01-2010, 03:11 PM
Something off the registry and a $200 cash. I don't think going off the registry is wrong.

But what do I know? If it was a faux pas, I'm ok with that.

MovieMogul
06-01-2010, 03:13 PM
I went to the registry and got a couple place settings, since I knew she was probably going to have a hard time getting as complete a set as she requested, so I wanted to help her out as much as I could in that area (and I wouldn't know the first thing about getting her a more "personal" gift that she's actually like).

Silver Fire
06-01-2010, 03:17 PM
I've been told that I probably shouldn't just get something from the registry.
Were you given a reason why in the world not? Because that's what registries are there for, so people like you don't have to kill yourselves trying to come up with a great gift.

I can't imagine why somebody would tell you that.

Quartz
06-01-2010, 03:25 PM
How about a case of good wine? For a romantic Brucie Bonus, get a case such that each pair of bottles matures in time for a different anniversary.

Dewey Finn
06-01-2010, 04:14 PM
I've been told that I probably shouldn't just get something from the registry.

Were you given a reason why in the world not? Because that's what registries are there for, so people like you don't have to kill yourselves trying to come up with a great gift.

I can't imagine why somebody would tell you that.
Perhaps the idea is that you should be able to come up with something more personal and meaningful when the bride or groom is your sibling.

CrazyCatLady
06-01-2010, 05:59 PM
Perhaps the idea is that you should be able to come up with something more personal and meaningful when the bride or groom is your sibling.

Yeah, pretty much. It's one of those things where the thought definitely counts, and just grabbing something off the registry implies that the thought is either "shit, I got no idea what she would like" or "well, there's that out of the way." There's something kind of disheartening about the prospect of your closest family thinking either thing about you.

I gave my brother and his wife a basket full of seed packets for their wedding flowers and other plants traditionally associated with wedding-type sentiments, little pots to start them in, and a booklet outlining the traditional meaning and planting/care instructions for each plant.

TreacherousCretin
06-01-2010, 08:26 PM
My beloved little sister got married 20 years ago. In spite of a fourteen year age difference, we have some shared musical tastes; we also share our Dad's sense of humor.

Her wedding gifts from me were:

1- The Complete Beatles CD's in the roll-top wooden case (hadn't been on the market all that long at the time)

and

2- A toilet plunger. Brand new. Untouched by other people's dooky.

.

HawksPath
06-01-2010, 08:48 PM
I'd advice you to go with the registry unless your having a really good idea for something and are sure she wants it and has space for it. By the way your asking it seems to already preclude the latter two conditions so go for registry.

I just got married and I must say most non-registry items were thoughtful gifts, I just can't figure what those thoughts were. It was really nice of the people to gift us but we got several things we already own that we can't return and we feel bad but they're getting donated or possibly sold on ebay.

sugar and spice
06-01-2010, 10:58 PM
Yeah, pretty much. It's one of those things where the thought definitely counts, and just grabbing something off the registry implies that the thought is either "shit, I got no idea what she would like" or "well, there's that out of the way." There's something kind of disheartening about the prospect of your closest family thinking either thing about you.If you don't mind me asking, is this how you felt about some of the gifts you got at your own wedding? Genuine question.

Oakminster
06-01-2010, 11:02 PM
OakBro didn't seem to mind when I gave him cash for a wedding gift. If OakSis existed, she'd probably get the same, plus shotgun service or bouncer duty, as needed.

ENugent
06-01-2010, 11:28 PM
My brother and his wife gave me a couple of blue ceramic serving dishes. They are both pretty and very useful.

Cyberhwk
06-01-2010, 11:48 PM
Wine Fridge

suranyi
06-02-2010, 01:50 AM
My sister got married in 1987 and my gift was a VCR. I don't think that would be appreciated as much nowadays.

Audrey Levins
06-02-2010, 07:38 AM
I'm getting married within a few months and my brother has a Master's in music; I haven't found a venue yet, but when I do, and if it has a piano, his gift to me will be his musical services during the ceremony. (Why pay three hundred bucks for a pianist when you have one who can be made to do it for nada?)

If I find a venue that's piano-free, I would expect my brother to make me a groovy mix CD of music to be played during my reception, and perhaps a random lamp/rug/whatever off my registry list. I don't expect him to go any further, or spend any more money, than my other relatives. He's a musician. He isn't wealthy.

I don't see why a brother has special gift-giving requirements at a sibling's wedding. Unless he's extraordinarily wealthy and awesome, in which case the OP wouldn't have asked.

CrazyCatLady
06-02-2010, 12:04 PM
If you don't mind me asking, is this how you felt about some of the gifts you got at your own wedding? Genuine question.

Yeah, pretty much. Most of the registry gifts we got were from friends of our parents, parents of our friends, and relatives we only see at holidays. That is, people who can't reasonably know us well enough to feel confident picking things out, and who can't reasonably be expected to care enough to worry about it too much. In those cases, I'm just pleased and touched we were important enough to them that they wanted to get us something at all. But I like to think that the blood relatives I shared a home with for nearly 2 decades think I'm worth the hassle of putting in a little thought and effort.

And ftr in the case of people who shop off my Amazon list at Christmas, those are exactly the thoughts in play--I know this for a fact, because they tell me so. To my face. In precisely so many words. Which doesn't really bother me, because it's mostly people who fit in one of the categories I listed above. It bothers my husband a lot, though, because he gets it from pretty much everybody but me. And there really is something hurtful about your own mom saying, in essence, "I can't be arsed to even try to think of something you'd like."

Audrey, I don't think anybody is saying that the OP is expected to spend more money on his sister than other wedding guests, just that he's expected to spend more effort. Like your brother doing the music for your wedding--that won't cost him a dime, but it will cost him a fair bit of time and thought. Hell, all my brother gave me was a hug the last time he saw me before the wedding and a long-distance phone call, and those meant more to me than anything he could buy. Because he hates hugging people and talking on the phone. Hates them. He hugs me maybe once a decade if he's feeling especially touchy-feely, and he had never once in all our lives called me on the phone before then. Like I said, it's the thought that counts, and in this case the thought was "she's worth stepping way outside my comfort zone for."

Spiny Norman
06-02-2010, 12:48 PM
A case of really good champagne. We do tend to like the fruits of the vine as a family, and newly married couples tend to have amazing dinner- and stemware, yet no money to create meals that do the place settings justice. (Also I toastmastered/MCed the entire damn thing, that has to count for something.)

Politzania
06-02-2010, 02:05 PM
My brother got me a print of "Bond of Union" by M.C. Escher - http://mcescher.com/Gallery/recogn-bmp/LW409.jpg

robby
06-02-2010, 03:41 PM
My wife and I got my sister one of the large serving dishes off her registry. (It cost more than just a place setting). With only a week to go before the wedding, nobody had selected the Waterford serving knife for her cake off her registry, so we got that, too. (As it turns out, my sister decided that same day to get it herself, so she had two--but she was able to return one of them).

We also gave her a matching set of Waterford champagne glasses for her wedding toast as an engagement present.

Jake Jones
06-02-2010, 04:06 PM
I'm all about cash gifts at weddings, and consumables as gifts to everyone, but not for a sibling's wedding gift. I think you should give siblings wedding gifts that they'll have for many years, if not forever.

To answer the specific question, I bought my sister a very nice set of stainless cookware to replace her collection of Targetware. Shit, I still have a collection of Targetware. First reaction may be that I'm a sexist asshole, but it was something that she really wanted.

I gave my brother a hand turned wooden vase made by an artist that I saw him admire at an art-fest we went to together. Plus, I spent about a shit-ton of money on his bachelor party.

It's hard to give a meaningful gift, but if you really think about it, you can probably come up with one. My preference for a sibling wedding gift is to be tangible, but an "experience gift" isn't bad if it's semi-unique.

RandMcnally
06-02-2010, 04:30 PM
Why not a box of wine? Nothing says classy like a good old box-o-wine.

My now brother-in-law gave us a picture album. We opened it up and there were 5 dollar bills in each of the pockets. Later on that night we counted over $500! Paid for our honeymoon, it did.

ZipperJJ
06-02-2010, 04:44 PM
When I am looking at a registry, I usually think "I'll leave the big/expensive stuff for the immediate family." So I would not be surprised, shocked or saddened if I got the most expensive thing on my registry from my brother.

The only thing he'd need to do to make my day special would be to show up, have a great time, take pictures with me and dance with me. The consumables would not matter.

Jake Jones
06-02-2010, 04:46 PM
Why not a box of wine? Nothing says classy like a good old box-o-wine.
Nothing but the finest from Cardboard Valley.

Lily Milliner
06-02-2010, 09:24 PM
My brother and I were roommates (along with another friend) during the year before my wedding--we were all in graduate school in the same city (my fiance was in another city). All three of us roomies used to like to troll around in some of the antique and "junque" shops in the area where we lived. On one of these expeditions I pointed out an antique bench that I particularly liked. My bro went back later and purchased it as a wedding present (I think it was about $800 if that's relevant). I think that's the kind of thing folks mean by a "personal," not-from-registry present.

(Incidentally, my mom purchased a glass pitcher from the same shop and gave it to me at my bridal shower.)

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