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cosmosdan
04-05-2011, 09:35 AM
The classic "What do you do with a Drunken Sailor?" is a favorite in Irish pubs.

It's often preformed with asking the audience to not only sing a long but to participate by coming up with a verse.

My favorite from Sunday night at Dan McGuiness, was

"Sit on his face and try to drown him" Earl-i in the morning.

What are some of the best lines you've heard for this song, or what are your suggestions if you were going to contribute?

Way Hey up she rises. :D

silenus
04-05-2011, 09:41 AM
I'm a traditionalist. My usual contribution is either "Put him in a long boat 'til he's sober" or "Put him in bed with the Captain's daughter."

Earlie in the morning.

kenobi 65
04-05-2011, 10:31 AM
Put him in charge of an Exxon tanker (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Hazelwood).

Earlie in the morning.

Maus Magill
04-05-2011, 10:42 AM
I tend to put him in bed with the captain's daughter, too.

I have been known to shave him on the belly with a rustie razor on occasion, too.

Malacandra
04-05-2011, 10:48 AM
Shave his bollocks with a rusty razor, surely...

Biffy the Elephant Shrew
04-05-2011, 10:49 AM
The guy I used to ride to school with, who was a physics major, always wanted to "Dissolve him in perchloric acid (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perchloric_acid)." Don't ask me why.

kath94
04-05-2011, 11:37 AM
"Stick him in the bilge and make him drink it"

UncleRojelio
04-05-2011, 11:44 AM
Hang him from a yard and watch him swinging?

Slithy Tove
04-05-2011, 11:55 AM
Friends and kin stage an inter-vention

The Devil's Grandmother
04-05-2011, 12:19 PM
Shave his balls with a rusty razor, just before putting him into bed with the captian's daughter.

Thanks for the earworm, cosmosdan .:mad:

runcible spoon
04-05-2011, 12:48 PM
In elementary school, we came up with 'throw him over board and then keelhaul him'. Bloodthirsty tykes, we were.

Earlie in the mornin'

kenobi 65
04-05-2011, 01:51 PM
Shave his bollocks with a rusty razor, surely...

I suspect that "belly" is the cleaned-up lyric.

About 20 years ago, there was a sitcom on ABC, Anything But Love, starring Richard Lewis and Jamie Lee Curtis. The opening bit of one episode featured this (paraphrased) conversation between the two of them:

Richard Lewis: "You know that old sea chanty, 'What Do You Do With a Drunken Sailor'?"

Jamie Lee Curtis: "Yeah."

RL: "There's one line which never made sense to me. 'Shave his belly with a rusty razor.' What kind of a punishment is that?"

JLC: "Maybe 'belly' is a euphemism for something else."

RL: (thinks for a moment) "Ohhhh, god." :shudders:

Scuba_Ben
04-05-2011, 01:54 PM
I'm a traditionalist. My usual contribution is either "Put him in a long boat 'til he's sober" or "Put him in bed with the Captain's daughter."
You haven't seen the Captain's daughter!

Make him sing "The Drunken Sailor."

Ear-ly in the morning.

cosmosdan
04-05-2011, 02:12 PM
Put him in charge of an Exxon tanker (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Hazelwood).

Earlie in the morning.

Ouch!! and funny.

muldoonthief
04-05-2011, 02:16 PM
As an Aubrey/Maturin fan, my contribution once was

"Prepare the turpentine enemata"

Maus Magill
04-05-2011, 03:23 PM
I tend to put him in bed with the captain's daughter, too.

I have been known to shave him on the belly with a rustie razor on occasion, too.

Shave his bollocks with a rusty razor, surely...
You can do that if you want, I'm not putting my hands anywhere near those. Do you know when he's last had a bath?

Neither does he.

You haven't seen the Captain's daughter!
Aye - But I've seen the Captain after someone's put a drunken sailor in bed with his daughter.

Chronos
04-05-2011, 03:25 PM
Write on his face with a magic marker
Aerlee in the marnin'

DMark
04-05-2011, 04:51 PM
Ah yes, the nightmare song for ESL teachers.
Thanks to that stupid song, students around the world use:
Drink, Drank, Drunken


Next to 100 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall, the Drunken Sailor song is easily one that should never be sung (sungen?) again.

cosmosdan
04-05-2011, 07:47 PM
Ah yes, the nightmare song for ESL teachers.
Thanks to that stupid song, students around the world use:
Drink, Drank, Drunken


Next to 100 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall, the Drunken Sailor song is easily one that should never be sung (sungen?) again.

Unless you're one of the drunken, or preforming for them, which is when it's usually done. ;)

rowrrbazzle
04-05-2011, 11:40 PM
Put him in charge of an Exxon tanker (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Hazelwood).

Earlie in the morning.Capitol Steps: "Oily in the morning."

Shmendrik
04-06-2011, 01:04 AM
You haven't seen the Captain's daughter!


Yeah... actually "captain's daughter" has an entirely different meaning (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain%27s_daughter).



Captain's Daughter can refer to:

The Captain's Daughter, a novel by A.S. Pushkin
The Captain's Daughter (opera) based on the novel, composed by CÚsar Cui
The Cat o' nine tails, a multi-tailed instrument of corporal punishment; compare gunner's daughter
A character from the comic Maakies
A character from the short lived series The Drinky Crow Show

appleciders
04-06-2011, 01:40 AM
I heard the Gay Men's Choir of San Francisco sing that once. After the usual verses and the big, loud, low note at the end of the song, one of the men leers out at the audience and says "I know what I'd do."

Nava
04-06-2011, 02:49 AM
Turn him into the Drunken Squire, that was a big favorite of the audience when I was in the South Florida Renaissance Society's Wenches. Specially the verse where we took him to the garden to pick a melon.

Icerigger
04-06-2011, 05:50 AM
By using his song in a lame attempt to video something nautical and cool. Originally filmed with my brother's 10LB VHS video camera and copied from the TV using a digital camera with the song playing on the boat's cassette player. Waterworld here we come.



http://youtube.com/watch?v=_OWBikX-Fls

Mean Mr. Mustard
04-06-2011, 06:00 AM
The only punishment I've ever heard was to put him in the galley for to peel potatoes.

And really, I don't care what you do to him, as long as you pronounce it er-lie.


mmm

Horatio Hellpop
04-06-2011, 07:04 AM
My favorite Pyrates Royale (http://pyrates.com/) lyrics are "Put a lobster down his trousers" and "Dress him up in women's clothing," ear-lie in the morning.

Robot Arm
04-06-2011, 07:24 AM
"Wake him in the morning with the sound of bagpipes."

Not as evocative as some of the other suggestions, but it has the advantage of being true. I was there. Which reminds me...

"Cockblock him from the cute, blonde girl-ie."

Alka Seltzer
04-06-2011, 08:40 AM
"Send lewd messages-to-his-mother-from-his-email-account."

"Er-lie in the morning."

Hal Briston
04-06-2011, 10:19 AM
"Just let 'em sleep until he feels better".

I've always found fucking with the sleeping guy to be pretty douchey.

Although my contribution doesn't make for the best song...

Skywatcher
04-06-2011, 12:05 PM
My Boy Scout troop liked to cut off his legs & call him "Shorty".

Er-lie in the morning.

SecretaryofEvil
04-06-2011, 02:10 PM
Well if he was a sailor who worked for a private ship the answer was traditionally "Shanghai him and force him into the British Navy so your press gang gets a commission."


...early in the morning.

Scuba_Ben
04-06-2011, 04:17 PM
My favorite Pyrates Royale (http://pyrates.com/) lyrics are "Put a lobster down his trousers" and "Dress him up in women's clothing," ear-lie in the morning.

I've never heard the lobster variant, and I've heard PR quite a bit. (In fact, I ran into Darcy off-duty at Pirate Feast this year; she wanted time in garb but off the clock.)

irishgirl
04-06-2011, 04:25 PM
Put him in the scuppers with a hosepipe on him

Halve his rations til he's sorry

Make him swab the decks while bollock-naked

Give his rum to all the others

cosmosdan
04-06-2011, 05:16 PM
Put him in the scuppers with a hosepipe on him

Halve his rations til he's sorry

Make him swab the decks while bollock-naked

Give his rum to all the others

Thanks...

Now I'll look up scuppers and horsepipe. :)

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