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View Full Version : Guy being called 'cute' - good or bad?


Mr. Kobayashi
05-23-2011, 08:28 PM
I know what you're thinking - good, obviously. You freakin' idiot. But stick with me on this.

On the face of it, it seems a fairly nice complement. But I once followed it up, only to be told 'in a little brother kind of way' (although was about 13 at the time). So, is it akin to being compared with a puppy or kitten or something? They're 'cute', but nobody wants to knock boots with one.

So, lads, is it an insult? Lasses, what do you mean when you call a chap 'cute'? Does it depend wholly on context? Help me read way too much into and over-analyse things.

Claire Beauchamp
05-23-2011, 08:51 PM
If I tell a guy he is cute, it's definitely a compliment. There is no "but I'm not attracted to you that way" unspoken qualifier. In fact, the current boyfriend seemed to catch on immediately when I told him on our first date, "You're just about the cutest thing I've seen in a long time." He blushed. And ... here we are.

pancakes3
05-23-2011, 08:51 PM
not a girl, but my 2 cents are:

it's definitely context, but it's not that hard to decipher. if you ask a girl how you look, and she says "cute" it means you're not her type. if a girl comes up to you unsolicited and tells you you're cute, then it's a compliment.

of course i'm basing all of this off how i would react. if a girl i didn't think was terribly attractive asked me straight up how she looked, i'd probably answer "cute". if i'm with some friends and they asked me what i thought of an unconventionally attractive girl, i'd probably answer "cute" as well. then of course, if i get the liquid courage to actually approach somebody and tell them they're cute unsolicited, then she's probably legitimately cute.

elfkin477
05-23-2011, 08:54 PM
Unfortunately, it does depend wholly on context.

A guy one finds physically attractive can be called cute...though I can't think of many situations in which I'd say that to a guy rather than about him.

But on the other hand, I once told people this after drinking: "You know, Evan's really cute. But I don't mean that I'm attracted to him. I mean like an overgrown four-year-old or a puppy." Fortunately he wasn't there to hear that himself :D

So, what was the context, anyway? Maybe there are clues in it. Or are you talking about a strictly hypothetical situation?

Mr. Kobayashi
05-23-2011, 09:04 PM
Unfortunately, it does depend wholly on context.

A guy one finds physically attractive can be called cute...though I can't think of many situations in which I'd say that to a guy rather than about him.

But on the other hand, I once told people this after drinking: "You know, Evan's really cute. But I don't mean that I'm attracted to him. I mean like an overgrown four-year-old or a puppy." Fortunately he wasn't there to hear that himself :D

So, what was the context, anyway? Maybe there are clues in it. Or are you talking about a strictly hypothetical situation?

Oh right, yeah. Heard it second hand from a mutual friend of a lass I work with, can't remember the exact words but it was along the lines of "Was out with so-and-so, your name came up?"
Me: "O RLY?"
"Yeah, she thinks you're cute."
Me: :dubious: :confused:

Like I said, I know it sounds good on the face of it but try being called cute by lasses only to be friendzoned at the last minute. Not that I'm, y'know, bitter or anything.

Plus if she is into us in that way I haven't picked that vibe off her, but I am pretty thick-skulled liked that.

Markxxx
05-23-2011, 09:22 PM
Cute is a compliment, but it's meaningless in determining if someone finds you attractive.

Virtually all babies are cute, but some are homely, but still adorably cute in their ugliness :)

Inner Stickler
05-23-2011, 09:28 PM
I've called a bunch of men cute. I've found that for me, at least, saying that someone is hot is code for they're shirtless and have nice abs. A pleasing face means they are cute.

Antinor01
05-23-2011, 10:03 PM
I would say it's usually a good thing. I know I'm cute and don't mind hearing it.

Bosstone
05-23-2011, 10:13 PM
I forget where I saw it, but I recently ran across a memepic saying:

A cute guy is just a liiiittle too unattractive to have sex with.

A cute girl is just a liiiittle too underage to have sex with.

Count Blucher
05-23-2011, 10:16 PM
To Whomever It Applies To:

Please Enjoy It.

-Someone Who Never Was & Never Will Be

astro
05-23-2011, 11:05 PM
Strong physical compliment but depends on context. If said to another woman it means you're fuckable or potentially fuckable. Whether this is in the immediate (ie she's dating you) or the abstract (she is not in relationship with you) it means she finds you physically appealing on a very fundamental level. Now you may not be real world fuckable (RWF) once she gets to know you, and your charming personality gets in the way, but in the abstract you are doable.

It means a lot less if you are not in her sights as potential mate or hook up. In that context it would be more akin to a man telling another man his wife is attractive in an admiring way but respectful way.

Claire Beauchamp
05-23-2011, 11:19 PM
I forget where I saw it, but I recently ran across a memepic saying:

A cute guy is just a liiiittle too unattractive to have sex with.

A cute girl is just a liiiittle too underage to have sex with.

So wrong.

needscoffee
05-23-2011, 11:42 PM
There's cute, and then there's cute. Paul McCartney was never classically good-looking, but he was the epitome of cute. Then there's Gary Coleman cute, which you don't want to be.

Lochdale
05-24-2011, 12:04 AM
In Ireland, being called cute is a good thing. However, there it means clever or sharp in a slightly devious manner. I was back home recently and my best friend's wife called me a cute whoor the other day. Made my day.

For this thread, if she is calling you cute whilst you're chatting her up then you're in.

HazelNutCoffee
05-24-2011, 12:25 AM
Some girl walked up to my boyfriend in a bar and said, "Hey, my friend thinks you're really cute. Can I introduce you two?"

I assumed that she meant "cute" as in "I would like to have sex with you". That's why I stabbed her with my nail file on the spot.

(Part of this story may be untrue.)

Musicat
05-24-2011, 12:28 AM
A cute girl is just a liiiittle too underage to have sex with.Maybe not. Can I see your ID first?

TheWhoToTheWhatNow
05-24-2011, 02:58 AM
Oh right, yeah. Heard it second hand from a mutual friend of a lass I work with, can't remember the exact words but it was along the lines of "Was out with so-and-so, your name came up?"
Me: "O RLY?"
"Yeah, she thinks you're cute."
Me: :dubious: :confused:

She wants to have sex with you. Girls tend to use the word cute as a super secret subtle way of saying "I really want to fuck him, and I know as soon as I indicate this to you, good female friend of mine, you'll run and tell him, and I don't want you to tell him I want to fuck him, so instead I'll call him "cute" and hope he figures it out from there".

Plus if she is into us in that way I haven't picked that vibe off her, but I am pretty thick-skulled liked that.

Don't talk yourself out of it. If you think she's cute, the window is wide open, go make a move. (well, I wouldn't because it's shitting where you eat and all, but that doesn't change what her intention is)

There's a context where being called cute is the worst thing ever, but this is not that context. Go, play, have fun! :D

- TWTTWN

BigT
05-24-2011, 05:43 AM
Oh right, yeah. Heard it second hand from a mutual friend of a lass I work with, can't remember the exact words but it was along the lines of "Was out with so-and-so, your name came up?"
Me: "O RLY?"
"Yeah, she thinks you're cute."
Me: :dubious: :confused:

Like I said, I know it sounds good on the face of it but try being called cute by lasses only to be friendzoned at the last minute. Not that I'm, y'know, bitter or anything.

Plus if she is into us in that way I haven't picked that vibe off her, but I am pretty thick-skulled liked that.

"She thinks your cute"? That's understatement. It means they are attracted to you. It does not necessarily mean she wants to have sex with you, however. She's likely not even thought that far. If you push that angle, you are likely to push too hard and ruin the attraction.

I'm actually kinda surprised that a PUA seems to think that women are usually instantly aroused to the point of sex. Even when I was studying* it as a kid they always mentioned that attraction is not a light switch but a volume knob. Heck, it's what the entire PUA process is based on--making sure you don't kill the attraction and instead let it build.

(And before I get lumped in--there's a reason why I said "as a kid.")

phantom lamb
05-24-2011, 06:02 AM
Like others have said, it depends on context.

If an unattractive yet nice guy/good friend asked me straight-up what I think of his looks - the word "cute" would definitely be put to use.

But under other circumstances it's a real compliment, somewhat synonymous with "hot" and "attractive".

TheWhoToTheWhatNow
05-24-2011, 06:29 AM
"She thinks your cute"? That's understatement. It means they are attracted to you. It does not necessarily mean she wants to have sex with you, however. She's likely not even thought that far. If you push that angle, you are likely to push too hard and ruin the attraction.

haha okay let me rephrase: In the moment she said that to her girlfriend, she was attracted enough to you to be open to the possibility that you may eventually lead things to sex with her. :) I just say it short-hand because guaranteed the OP isn't going to err on the side of being too forward, he's going to err on the side of not being forward enough (like he says, he doesn't pick up the vibe, so odds are he'll end up talking himself out of pursuing it by default).

I'm actually kinda surprised that a PUA seems to think that women are usually instantly aroused to the point of sex.

Maybe that's just for me. ;) heyoooo

No but seriously, you guys are literal around here hey? It doesn't mean he can go over to her desk, whip out his cock and she'll splay her legs open haha It means she's attracted to him and is giving off Indicators of Interest. Openly admitting her attraction to someone else is a big ioi. If he doesn't act on it, that window of opportunity can close, thus my encouragement if he thinks she's cute.

uhhh, but for the record while it means she'd be open to sex with you if you played things right, I recommend you simply ask her out but with the overall confidence of knowing that she likes you.

"Even when I was studying* it as a kid they always mentioned that attraction is not a light switch but a volume knob.

That's arousal. Attraction and arousal are different but often related enough that they get lumped together in descriptions of concepts. While in this case the high level of attraction probably has a low level of arousal with it (since he's not whispering sexy things into her ear on a date and all that right now, which in this particular case would result in high attraction and high arousal), the arousal can be volume knob'ed up to sex because she's indicated that the volume knob is turnable.

You can have a high level of attraction with no arousal (ie - your volume knob isn't turnable for the person)...this is looking up to your father, caring about your children, admiring a celebrity or sports star, everyone liking the friendly life-of-the-party person, etc., but then while you may describe your father or children as cute, you generally wouldn't mean it in the same context as the girl in the OP. You can increase attraction without increasing arousal (friend zone'd guys, or your sibling becoming a more outgoing social person, or someone accomplishing an impressive feat, etc.).

Just clearing things up. Thanks for asking questions instead of insulting me, I'm always happy to clarify. :)

- TWTTWN

legalsnugs
05-24-2011, 03:12 PM
Good grief, man, have you never seen the Rankin/Bass Christmas special "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer"? Clarice tells Rudolph, "I think you're cute." And Rudolph goes nutso and is the first in his reindeer practice class who can actually fly, and he yells "I'm cuuuuute! She says I'm cuuuuuuuuute!"

Sheesh. Ask her out.

sachertorte
05-24-2011, 04:17 PM
I've called a bunch of men cute. I've found that for me, at least, saying that someone is hot is code for they're shirtless and have nice abs. A pleasing face means they are cute.

This mostly, though my personal tastes gravitate towards pecs and arms.

Cute = attractive face
Hot = attractive body

Shark Sandwich
05-24-2011, 04:23 PM
Fully clothed standing in front of a woman and she says you look cute: good

Naked and standing in front of a woman and she says, "Awww, ain't that cute." Not so much.

Rachellelogram
05-24-2011, 05:08 PM
I've talked to several guys who are bothered by being called cute, and would prefer to be described with terms like "attractive," "manly," "handsome," "cut," "ripped," "chiseled features" (okay maybe not the last one...)

Anyway, I try to avoid using it, because it bothers a non-zero number of guys, and because I avoid using generic adjectives as much as possible anyway. But the few times it slips out, I never mean it in an underhanded baby-chick-cute manner. I always mean it positively.

awldune
05-24-2011, 05:52 PM
"Was out with so-and-so, your name came up?"
Me: "O RLY?"
"Yeah, she thinks you're cute."
Me: :dubious: :confused:


Cute being good depends on context, but this is definitely a good context. It is one thing for a girl to tell you you're cute and another for her to tell another girl she thinks you're cute. I can't imagine this being a negative.

See if you can find an opportunity to chat with her a little after work or something. Sounds like you don't really know each other? But I bet she will be friendly if you try to strike up a conversation.

MysteryFellow63427
05-24-2011, 06:03 PM
Lad here. Almost universally good, but depends on context.

The only time it isn't good is when a guy is referred to as "cute" in the way a puppy dog is. I.e., implying that the dude is well meaning and/or nice, but not shaggable. Sometimes used in a defensive posture.

Girl A: I think Terrence is kinda creepy.
Girl B: Aww, no, he's cute!

If it gets said that way, you might as well add "bless his heart" in there too.

Mr. Kobayashi
05-24-2011, 06:09 PM
I work in a different area than her so don't see her all that often (in that kind of more than acquaintances but not quite friends area). Just to clarify further on context, she told that to another lad friend of both of ours (who was trying to get into her knickers at the time, she put the kibosh on that shortly after). But still, hot piss. Might wait a little while so as not to seem insensitive (although he's not too bothered, he's one of those types who likes a different lass every week) then ask her out. They say you shouldn't get your honey where you get your money, but they also say feint heart never won fair lady.

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