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View Full Version : Didn't your mother teach you not to say "fucking" in a restaurant?


Frank
11-28-2011, 10:34 PM
Not a dive, not top of the line either. $15-20 entrees. A quiet place, not even music, just the ambience of people talking and eating.

Three sets of elderly couples, me, and three bankers whose loud conversation could clearly be heard in every corner of the place. Well, that's OK, it's not that interesting a conversation, I can mostly tune it out. What I couldn't tune out was the adjective "fucking" in every other sentence from one of them.

I've certainly used the word before, and will certainly use it again, but barring the waiter dropping my entree in my lap, I won't use it in a nice place, and I won't use it around people that might be offended by it. There's a time and a place, you know?

There's a reason "they won't make [you] a fucking manager", and maybe someday you'll figure out that they don't trust you to behave yourself in public. Fucking asshole.

SpoilerVirgin
11-28-2011, 10:47 PM
Not a dive, not top of the line either. $15-20 entrees. A quiet place, not even music, just the ambience of people talking and eating.

Three sets of elderly couples, me, and three bankers whose loud conversation could clearly be heard in every corner of the place. Well, that's OK, it's not that interesting a conversation, I can mostly tune it out. What I couldn't tune out was the adjective "fucking" in every other sentence from one of them.

I've certainly used the word before, and will certainly use it again, but barring the waiter dropping my entree in my lap, I won't use it in a nice place, and I won't use it around people that might be offended by it. There's a time and a place, you know?

There's a reason "they won't make [you] a fucking manager", and maybe someday you'll figure out that they don't trust you to behave yourself in public. Fucking asshole.Based on previous experience, I'm going to guess that the banker in question had had too much to drink, either with his meal or at the bar beforehand. I have found that people who speak in a professional manner at work can really let it fly when their tongues are loosened by alcohol.

Doesn't excuse his behavior at all, but might explain it.

kaylasdad99
11-28-2011, 10:50 PM
Maybe he doesn't want to be a fucking manager. In a place with $15 - $20 entrees, the fucking tips for a fucking waiter should be fucking awesome.

Anyway, context would matter: "The veal tonight is fucking awesome" sounds like a great recommendation. "Here's your fucking martini?" Not so much.

The Other Jeffrey Lebowski
11-28-2011, 10:51 PM
For fuck's sake, must you fucking quote the entire fucking OP in the first fucking response?
Fuck!

Frank
11-28-2011, 10:52 PM
"The veal tonight is fucking awesome" sounds like a great recommendation.
:) In fact, the veal was fucking awesome. Much better than I expected for the price.

kaylasdad99
11-28-2011, 11:01 PM
Oops, sorry, I skimmed the fucking OP.

Ludovic
11-28-2011, 11:02 PM
For fuck's sake, must you fucking quote the entire fucking OP in the first fucking response?
Fuck!Well, you've certainly demonstrated the diversity of the word.

Frank
11-28-2011, 11:15 PM
Well, you've certainly demonstrated the diversity of the word.
The fuck he did. The fucker missed the noun.

Kimstu
11-28-2011, 11:32 PM
The fuck he did. The fucker missed the noun.

As well as the fucking verb itself (as opposed to the fucking present participle). Unless he was just fucking with us.




ETA: That seven-letter combination now looks completely weird and meaningless. Why do constantly repeated words fucking do that?

TokyoBayer
11-28-2011, 11:34 PM
Sorry, I though what she said was to not fuck in restaurants.

My bad.

Chipacabra
11-28-2011, 11:45 PM
No, that's still fine. Carry on.

SeaCanary
11-29-2011, 12:19 AM
There's a song (http://traditionalmusic.co.uk/song-midis/F-Word_%28A_Chat_With_Your_Mother%29.htm) whose chorus goes...

We sit down to have a chat,
It's F word this and F word that,
I can't control how you young people,
Talk to one another,
But I don't want to hear you use,
The F word with your mother!

CanvasShoes
11-29-2011, 01:45 AM
No, that's still fine. Carry on.

Except they'll probably never let you back in that restaurant again. :D

Enola Gay
11-29-2011, 01:50 AM
Except they'll probably never let you back in that restaurant again. :D

Unless it's a Fucking Restaurant.

Mangetout
11-29-2011, 02:04 AM
I'd like the Fu King fried rice please

CanvasShoes
11-29-2011, 02:40 AM
Unless it's a Fucking Restaurant.

Snerk...

Alessan
11-29-2011, 02:59 AM
Three sets of elderly couples, me, and three bankers whose loud conversation could clearly be heard in every corner of the place.

Emphasis mine.

There's your problem right there - it's not the language they were using, it's the fact that they were speaking loud enough for everyone to hear them. I don't care if the party sitting next to me is taking turns reciting from Samuel Delaney's Hogg, so long as they keep the volume down.

Ferret Herder
11-29-2011, 07:08 AM
Yeah, I've noticed the quality of the place doesn't necessarily matter. I was having a drink in the bar area of a nice Michelin-starred place here in Chicago just a few weeks ago (not going there on my dime, which is even better), waiting for the rest of my party, when I realized that the gentleman next to me was "regaling" his companion with explicit details of exactly what excisions and other things his dermatologist had done to him. Ew.

Then again, sometimes it's acoustics - though in your case, they surely should have become aware that they were the only source of noise in the place. Just a few nights ago, my husband and I were trying to have a nice dinner, and it felt like we were in on the same conversation as the couple at the table next to us. It didn't help that they were naturally loud, but the acoustics in that place aren't the best in certain spots, especially the corner we were stuck in. At least they left within about 15 minutes and that table didn't get filled during the rest of our dinner.

Slithy Tove
11-29-2011, 09:08 AM
"The veal tonight is fucking awesome"

"So is the liver!"
- Alexander Portnoy

Munch
11-29-2011, 09:23 AM
Unless it's a Fucking Restaurant.

Or a vietnamese place called The Pho King.

Azeotrope
11-29-2011, 09:46 AM
...owned by a guy named Phuc Vu Dong.

Some people say "fuck" the way others say "um" or "like." I don't think they're even aware of it, and if you pointed it out they'd probably tell you to fuck the fuck off.

Jack Batty
11-29-2011, 09:57 AM
I'd also like to point out that you don't need to get a banker drunk to make him swear. I work for a bank - back office, not branch - we swear like longshoremen 'round these parts.

Malleus, Incus, Stapes!
11-29-2011, 10:03 AM
Don't shop here, then. (http://lisnews.org/node/34933/)

John Mace
11-29-2011, 10:24 AM
I can safely say that I never received any instructions from my mother about not saying "fucking" in a restaurant.

running coach
11-29-2011, 10:31 AM
Don't shop here, then. (http://lisnews.org/node/34933/)

He can eat here (http://yelp.com/biz/fu-king-chinese-restaurant-lake-city), though.

steronz
11-29-2011, 10:48 AM
I like to say fuck a lot, but I have an impressive ability to switch it off. I have friend who doesn't have this ability, seemingly at all. When we go out, I always make sure to pick a restaurant with a noisy bar, because then I'm not self conscious about his constant swearing. A few months back we went to a nice family place, there were kids celebrating their birthdays and whatnot. Shit, fuck, fucking shit, goddamn fucking shit. I had to keep reminding him that there were kids around like he was a child.

So yeah, +1 to the OP. I don't understand how people can grow up without this skill.

Jackmannii
11-29-2011, 10:50 AM
Yeah, I've noticed the quality of the place doesn't necessarily matter. I was having a drink in the bar area of a nice Michelin-starred place here in Chicago just a few weeks ago (not going there on my dime, which is even better), waiting for the rest of my party, when I realized that the gentleman next to me was "regaling" his companion with explicit details of exactly what excisions and other things his dermatologist had done to him. Ew.Mrs. J. and I were eating in a nice seafood restaurant awhile back, and had the privilege of being in the booth next to a couple of colonoscopy equipment salesmen who were graphically describing the ins and outs of the business. It takes quite a bit to gross out a pathologist and spouse however.

Loud fucking cellphone conversations in restaurants with fuck this and that every other sentence can be annoying too. "Were you brought up in a barn?" doesn't seem to be any more effective a comeback than "Shut the fuck up!!!"

MeanOldLady
11-29-2011, 11:03 AM
I can safely say that I never received any instructions from my mother about not saying "fucking" in a restaurant.<Cackle> Excellent! The first thing I thought when I saw the thread title was, "Um, not really."

Ferret Herder
11-29-2011, 11:21 AM
Mrs. J. and I were eating in a nice seafood restaurant awhile back, and had the privilege of being in the booth next to a couple of colonoscopy equipment salesmen who were graphically describing the ins and outs of the business. It takes quite a bit to gross out a pathologist and spouse however.
Yeah, I work in medical research and was going to dine with a doctor, so it wasn't particularly disgusting to me, but I was thinking about the others around us.

tdn
11-29-2011, 12:07 PM
Loud fucking cellphone conversations in restaurants with fuck this and that every other sentence can be annoying too. "Were you brought up in a barn?" doesn't seem to be any more effective a comeback than "Shut the fuck up!!!"

Not just in restaurants. Last night on a very crowded train I (and I assume others) overheard a guy telling his friend to "suck my dick." Really? Did we need to hear that?

Basic decorum seems to be beyond a lot of people.

Martin Hyde
11-29-2011, 12:52 PM
The Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint!

elninost0rm
11-29-2011, 01:24 PM
For fuck's sake, must you fucking quote the entire fucking OP in the first fucking response?
Fuck!

Considering the film, not a bad U/P combo.

drastic_quench
11-29-2011, 01:37 PM
Mrs. J. and I were eating in a nice seafood restaurant awhile back, and had the privilege of being in the booth next to a couple of colonoscopy equipment salesmen who were graphically describing the ins and outs of the business.
Nice.
"So is the liver!"
- Alexander Portnoy
Fucking nice!

Cat Whisperer
11-29-2011, 01:44 PM
For fuck's sake, must you fucking quote the entire fucking OP in the first fucking response?
Fuck!You took the words out of my mouth.

Not just in restaurants. Last night on a very crowded train I (and I assume others) overheard a guy telling his friend to "suck my dick." Really? Did we need to hear that?

Basic decorum seems to be beyond a lot of people.Yup. When my husband and I are out in public, I've noticed that we tend to drop the volume of our voices so that we can just hear each other, not broadcast our conversation to the world at large. Not everyone does that; I wish they would.

The only time we get louder with the swearing is at our local pub, where families keep mistaking it for a family restaurant and bringing their kids in. Hey, it's a fucking sports pub - time for your five year old to learn how people talk in fucking sports pubs!

Biffy the Elephant Shrew
11-29-2011, 01:45 PM
Or a vietnamese place called The Pho King.

Used to be a restaurant around these parts called Fook Yuen.

tdn
11-29-2011, 01:51 PM
Yup. When my husband and I are out in public, I've noticed that we tend to drop the volume of our voices so that we can just hear each other, not broadcast our conversation to the world at large. Not everyone does that; I wish they would.

He wasn't even very loud, but he could clearly be heard.

Find Friends
11-29-2011, 02:00 PM
Not just in restaurants. Last night on a very crowded train I (and I assume others) overheard a guy telling his friend to "suck my dick." Really? Did we need to hear that?

Basic decorum seems to be beyond a lot of people.A crowded train: I'm figuring there were some children present, or at least that one couldn't assume that there definitely would be some running around.
I like to say fuck a lot, but I have an impressive ability to switch it off. I have friend who doesn't have this ability, seemingly at all. When we go out, I always make sure to pick a restaurant with a noisy bar, because then I'm not self conscious about his constant swearing. A few months back we went to a nice family place, there were kids celebrating their birthdays and whatnot. Shit, fuck, fucking shit, goddamn fucking shit. I had to keep reminding him that there were kids around like he was a child.

So yeah, +1 to the OP. I don't understand how people can grow up without this skill.{Emphasis added}I'm glad you mentioned family restaurants, as I was about to do so.
Not a dive, not top of the line either. $15-20 entrees. A quiet place, not even music, just the ambience of people talking and eating...
{Emphasis added}While I'm essentially sympathetic to your opinion expressed here, it did bother me a bit that there was emphasis on it not being a dive, but rather moderately pricey. I'd say that this really shouldn't be a consideration here. (What you said about it being quiet is relevant, though.)

In general, I'd favor people keeping their potty mouths at home, entirely, rather than show them off in general-public places (at the risk of sounding like a total prude). The factors I would consider most important would be:

> Are there children present, or are they likely to walk in?
> How loudly are the [expetive deleted] people in question talking?
> How much background noise is there? (Unless the above is extremly?)

And then: Just how repetitive is the foul stuff? I could see someone reacting to a great surprise, good or bad, with an over-the-top expression which may include profanity. Once, preferrably.

Like I say, I'm not a prude. But still...

(Most modern version of sig left off for questionable content.) ;)

Jackmannii
11-29-2011, 02:02 PM
Didn't your mother teach you not..."fucking" in a restaurant?

Apparently not. (http://usatoday.com/sports/college/mensbasketball/bigeast/2009-08-11-pitino_N.htm)

Dogzilla
11-29-2011, 02:05 PM
No, she did not.

kayaker
11-29-2011, 02:07 PM
In a restaurant (with tablecloths) I use "having intercourse" in place of "fucking". I'm suave and debonair, though.

UltraVires
11-29-2011, 10:16 PM
I can safely say that I never received any instructions from my mother about not saying "fucking" in a restaurant.

"Son, I want you to treat everyone with respect. Try your best. Make your family proud. Eat all of your vegetables, and remember your prayers each night. Oh yeah...never say 'fucking' in a restaurant."

SnakesCatLady
11-29-2011, 11:30 PM
I learned the hard way about having a potty mouth around kids. There is a child in the seat next to mine at hockey games, she's now almost 5. When she was about 3, something happened on the ice and I let out "Oh shit!" This beautiful little girl looked at her mom with a big smile and said very clearly "Oh shit".

I have since learned to self-censor in all but the most extreme circumstances and have become used to having the others in my section laugh at me when I swallow some profanity.

Skywatcher
11-30-2011, 12:04 AM
Obligatory YouTube link (youtube.com/watch?v=xpwkFHSMEBY).

11-30-2011, 04:51 AM
Three sets of elderly couples, me, and three bankers whose loud conversation could clearly be heard in every corner of the place. Well, that's OK, it's not that interesting a conversation, I can mostly tune it out. What I couldn't tune out was the adjective "fucking" in every other sentence from one of them.Well, if you really wanted to do something about it, complain to the restaurant management, not to a bunch of people on a message board.

Or do what a friend of mine did in a similar situation.
Listen long enough to learn what bank employs them, then use your cell phone to call the head of that bank, say "I'm trying to have a quiet lunch with my husband, but some of your employees are disturbing the whole restaurant. Would you like to hear them?" and then hold out the cell phone so they can be heard for a minute or two. After that, you can be sure that they will hear about their conduct in public.

It helped that this friend is a senior level at the Federal Reserve Bank, and could quickly get connected to the head of the bank. But you could also record a bit of their 'conversation' with your cellphone camera, and post it on YouTube, with a heading like "Wells Fargo (or whatever bank) Bank employees disturbing restaurant diners" or something similar. Most large banks have PR people watching online stories about them, and dealing with them -- they'd probably pick this up quickly.

Frank
11-30-2011, 07:31 AM
Well, if you really wanted to do something about it, complain to the restaurant management, not to a bunch of people on a message board.
I did. What's that got to do with my OP?

11-30-2011, 07:49 AM
I did. What's that got to do with my OP?Good! That's what I would have done, too.

I just thought you hadn't complained, since you didn't mention it.

Frank
11-30-2011, 07:58 AM
I just thought you hadn't complained, since you didn't mention it.
I didn't think it was relevant to my complaint here. It shouldn't have been necessary for me to complain (or not complain--if I'd chosen to suck it up in silence) or to go through a rigamarole with cell phones ( :) ). The dweeb should have already learned somewhere along the way how to comport himself in public.

lieu
11-30-2011, 08:16 AM
Some people say "fuck" the way others say "um" or "like." I don't think they're even aware of it, ...Yeah, an attorney friend of mine used it incessantly in college and afterwards and I'm pretty sure he'd become jaded to the fact it was still four letters. He did share with me that a judge had assured him the frequent use of "Fuck, man." was not appropriate in his court.

tdn
11-30-2011, 09:21 AM
A crowded train: I'm figuring there were some children present, or at least that one couldn't assume that there definitely would be some running around.

I didn't see any, but if there were they wouldn't be running around. When I say it was crowded, I mean CROWDED. There was no room to run.

Like it would have mattered anyway. The presence of children probably would not have changed the guy's actions.

TokyoBayer
11-30-2011, 11:27 AM
Didn't your mother teach you not..."fucking" in a restaurant?

Apparently not. (http://usatoday.com/sports/college/mensbasketball/bigeast/2009-08-11-pitino_N.htm)Indeed (http://dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1220633/Boris-Becker-My-daughter-Anna-wasnt-conceived-broom-cupboard--stairs.html).

The King of Soup
12-09-2011, 04:57 PM
The Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint!

I don't think the precise circumstances of fucking in restaurants is the issue here, as long as it's consensual.

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