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View Full Version : What is the purpose of those enormous jawbreakers?!


grude
01-03-2013, 11:39 AM
If you've ever been in a candy store you've probably seen those enormous jawbreakers, bigger than a baseball. What purpose do those serve exactly aside from novelty item? They are too hard to bite, too large to fit in your mouth, I suppose you could hit one with a sledge hammer and eat the pieces.

drastic_quench
01-03-2013, 12:06 PM
They were invented for a what became a deleted scene in 1971's Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory in which Wonka forces a snake-obsessed boy to unhinge his jaw. Studio executives of the time weren't comfortable introducing curb stomping to the world. Nevertheless, the candy lived on.

MegaBee
01-03-2013, 01:08 PM
They're for breaking jaws.

hogarth
01-03-2013, 01:11 PM
I bought a large novelty jawbreaker once, although it was somewhat smaller than baseball-sized. After the novelty of owning it wore off, I ended up licking it, day after day, until I eventually eroded it into a hemisphere (at which point you could see all of the various layers).

One day I went overboard with the licking and actually made my tongue start bleeding a bit! Not a smart move on my part...

Amateur Barbarian
01-03-2013, 01:18 PM
I dunno, what's the point of those elaborate lollypops big enough to spread asphalt with? I think they're just novelty items, like greeting cards the size of a door. See, Dad/Uncle Joe/Grandmaw loves you SO much, they bought one of these Brobdignagian 'treats" for you.

Intergalactic Gladiator
01-03-2013, 01:20 PM
They're for breaking jaws.

What it says on the tin.

running coach
01-03-2013, 01:21 PM
One day I went overboard with the licking and actually made my tongue start bleeding a bit! Not a smart move on my part...

Der Penthouse...

grude
01-03-2013, 01:26 PM
I dunno, what's the point of those elaborate lollypops big enough to spread asphalt with? I think they're just novelty items, like greeting cards the size of a door. See, Dad/Uncle Joe/Grandmaw loves you SO much, they bought one of these Brobdignagian 'treats" for you.

Well you can actually eat a giant lollypop easier than a giant jawbreaker.

johnpost
01-03-2013, 01:29 PM
make dentists rich.

Barking Dog
01-03-2013, 01:36 PM
For the honor!

Hypno-Toad
01-03-2013, 02:37 PM
Because it's there.

FordTaurusSHO94
01-03-2013, 03:22 PM
I went on a 2 week roadtrip with one when I was a kid. When you get to the halfway point, you can see all of the different colored layers. Some of the layers are kind of like chalk, where you can scrape the candy loose with your teeth.

Sauron
01-04-2013, 09:17 AM
You mean those aren't suppositories?

Uh-oh.

jayjay
01-04-2013, 01:47 PM
Der Penthouse...

Das Playboy?

awldune
01-04-2013, 02:09 PM
I suppose you could hit one with a sledge hammer and eat the pieces.

I don't know what you're *supposed* to do, but that's what I did the only time I ever got one.

Miller
01-04-2013, 02:10 PM
I suppose you could hit one with a sledge hammer and eat the pieces.

That's what I did when I was a kid.

billfish678
01-04-2013, 02:20 PM
I bought one for my boss, that had a reputation of being a big mouth. I gave it to him in front of a bunch of other folks at a company meeting.

In hindsight that was probably not a good idea.

Seriously. I actually did that.

Ludovic
01-04-2013, 02:23 PM
Of course the huge Sweet Tarts that came in triads had instructions to break them open with a hammer in the package before you open them. Of course, who really did that? ETA: I think it was a case of "Wine Box Instructions", a phrase I just made up but I think it should have some staying power unless there's already a phrase meaning "instructions needed to fulfill regulations but which no one expects to actually be followed", stemming from the Prohibition era when companies would sell smushed grapes by mail with instructions to not fill the container with water and let seep for a few days, or else the mixture would turn into wine.

tdn
01-04-2013, 02:46 PM
Das Playboy?

Das frauline iss looken ze hot in das boots.

lawoot
01-04-2013, 11:25 PM
I thought they were made that big as a way to keep your kid quiet for hours at a time.

SeaDragonTattoo
01-04-2013, 11:28 PM
When I was a kid I put them in a baggie and hit them with a hammer to eat the pieces.

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