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Stoid
10-15-1999, 04:20 AM
Big ER fan here.

Ever had surgery? You know how you are not supposed to eat or drink anything for 12 hours beforehand, because you could become dangerously ill, throwing up or drowning in your vomit or some such vileness...

So what's the deal with emergency surgery? What if the guy with the gunshot wound jsut ate 3 helpings of Thanksgiving dinner right before he got shot, including three servings of pie?? What happens to him when they put him under? And if he can survive it, why can't others?

Here's another one: on ER they are forever slicing into the chests of people who have just passed out or "died", cracking their ribs to start their hearts. It usually works. So...do such people wake up in screaming hysterical agony with their chests cracked open? Dead...cracked chest, zapped heart...awake...conscious...dead again from horror and pain.

Someone fill me in.

(This is a big topic for me: I have only had one minor surgery in my life, tubal ligation, and I WOKE UP TOO SOON. Without going into it here, suffice it to say: it was without question the most deeply terrifying, painful or horrifying experience of my life. The best way to discribe it is this: It's like dropping a couple hits of acid, getting so tightly bound that you cannot even twitch, much less move, have another tight blindfold rendering you blind, unable even to blink, then be put in cement shoes and dropped into a lake. Imagine that. Then triple it. That's what it was like. Got myself a little case of PTSD out of the experience.)

Stoid

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*************
This is a non-smoking area. If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and act accordingly.

Holly
10-15-1999, 06:51 AM
One of the first things they do to you in the ER, if you're going to need surgery or if you otherwise look like you might crap out, is put a tube down your nose into your stomach so they can empty out your lunch. A lot of times, this comes too late anyway, because if you're really sick you've probably already puked up your enchiladas before you reach the hospital. Surgery goes on, but many, many such patients develop a life-threatening case of aspiration pneumonia. I once spent most of an evening suctioning an entire can of Copenhagen out of a guy's lungs; he'd swallowed it, puked it up, and inhaled it when he fell into a 35 foot hole onto his head.

As for the chest cracking, we do that from time to time, but I can't recall any case where the patient actually survived. In real life, cracking a chest is a desperate and almost futile measure. I don't know how bad the sensations would be to a patient who woke up after surviving such an ordeal, but I assume the medical staff would handle it the way we deal with any other excruciatingly painful thing: give 'em drugs, drugs, drugs.

BenDover
10-15-1999, 07:41 AM
They didn't pump my stomach when I had emergency surgery (many, many years ago). I started puking up peanut butter sandwich about 12 hours after the (abdominal) surgery - not a joyful experience.

Nothing compared to Stoidela's nightmare, of course!

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Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

10-15-1999, 09:09 AM
I had a procedure last year. They said there is a chance of throwing up,but if the risk is great enough,obviously,they're gonna try to save your life over worrying about that. I woke up,but there was no pain,and they just gave me more whatever.

AWB
10-15-1999, 09:25 AM
After my appendectomy, I awoke with the intubation (sp?) tube still in my throat. For a second, I thought I'd awoken in the middle of surgury! But then the anesthesiologist started talking to me assuring me everything was fine.

I had been in the hospital for a day and a half before they figured out it was my appendix. They were focusing on my gall bladder since my pain was high and only slightly to the right. Turns out that my appendix was higher than most peoples. My incision is directly to the right of my navel, rather than near the hip. And since it was rupturing, the incision is huge: about 5 inches. (So now I can't wear bikinis. :))

As I was being wheeled to the OR, the anesthesiologist was having me sign papers for insurance purposes. That was weird.

Satan
10-15-1999, 12:16 PM
I had a few teeth removed while I was out like a light...

TECHNICALLY it was surgery! Oh sure, it was pretty low-risk, but hey, at least I didn't get molested while I was out.

At least I don;t think so...

But now that I think about it...

HEY WAIT A MINUTE!!

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Yer pal,
Satan

10-15-1999, 12:22 PM
OK, this is "off topic", so I hope no one gets upset, but I do want to ask...

I had surgery last year, and was put under. (Those anaesthetics work fast!) When I woke up, the doctor came to me and said "How are you feeling? I already checked with you after the operation, do you remember talking to me?" I couldn't remember a thing! Was the doctor putting me on?

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Jacques Kilchoer
Workers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains.

GasDr
10-15-1999, 12:23 PM
People are supposed to go without eating for eight and without drinking 4-6 hours prior to elective surgery in order to minimize the risk of aspiration pneumonia (which can be fatal in the most healthy person) as well as to lessen the risk of nausea/vomiting post-operatively. In emergency surgery you just have to 'bite the bullet' and proceed. We do lessen the risks by giving patients a non-particulate antacid to drink as well as iv medicines to hasten stomach emptying and decrease acid production. During the induction of anesthesia in the so called patient with a 'full somach,' pressure is applied to the patients neck to occlude the esophagus as the patient is going to sleep, until an endotracheal tube is inserted. At that point the patient's airway is said to be protected, then a tube is usually passed to suck out any stomach contents.

As for 'cracking the chest' in the E.R., in eleven years, I've never seen one survive.

Suzeanne
10-15-1999, 05:13 PM
As to not remembering a thing, there are some "anesthesias" that have that as a side effect.

Versid (did I spell it right, Dr Sue?) is a great one for this. They'll often give it IV for proceedures that don't require you to be unconscious, just cooperative and still.

I've been put under so many times by now that it doesn't even scare me anymore, but every time, there's always a ton of stuff that "happened" that I just don't remember. Conversations seem to be the worst, which is great because you're usually babbling anyway.

It's also really odd the little things that I DO remember, like playing with the pulse oximeter (SP?) and being utterly fascinated by it, or wanting to rip out a nurse's throat because I was all snuggly comfy and SHE wanted me to sit up. How rude.

Therealbubba
10-15-1999, 09:20 PM
Besides the risk of vomiting, the food that's in the stomach will just sit there during and after anesthesia.

Also, when the breathing tube is inserted, a metal blade is placed at the base of the tongue, causing a gag in most awake people. In fact, when endotracheal intubation is performed on an awake person in an emergency, they almost always heave. If the person performing the procedure is quick and knows what he/she is doing, they airway is protected by the tube before the patient can aspirate any vomit into the lungs. Most breathing tubes come with a balloon at the end that goes in your trachea, and when it's inflated, you can puke away and nothing gets in the lungs.

Therealbubba

10-15-1999, 09:20 PM
<font size=16>
See your doctor for personal medical problems.
</font>

Having a large volume of liquid, or undigested solid food, in one's stomach while going under for surgery is associated with a small, but not insignificant, risk of having stomach contents pour down the windpipe/trachea into the lungs where they can cause a life-threatening pneumonia. This is why patients undergoing planned or "elective" surgery are told not to eat or drink prior to the procedure. Despite this, the risk/benefit ratio is clearly in favor of immediate surgery for someone with deep gunshot wounds, penetrating knife wounds, or impending peritonitis from an about-to-rupture appendix. The standard order for elective surgery is "NPO p MN" = nothing by mouth after midnight. This obviously is inherently unfair to those whose procedures are not scheduled until mid-late afternoon. Early morning cases are usually ones with kiddos, diabetics, or those which may take most of the day.

Increasingly, anesthesiologists have recognized that this is probably unnecessary. Many now recommend no solid food (and recommend carbohydrates which clear the fastest) for 6 hours before surgery, and no liquids for 2 hours prior to surgery.

<font size=16>
Do what YOUR doctor tells you!
</font>

One key exception to this is surgery involving the gastro-intestinal (GI) tract, for which they may have you on a restricted diet up to 48 hours before your surgery & have you drink a jug of a very tasty clear liquid called "GoLytely" until um... what comes out resembles what went in.

In emergency surgeries involving the GI tract, a tube is often inserted through the nose & throat until the far end is in the stomach. It can be hooked up to suction to empty gastric contents. For non-GI tract surgeries, this is usually unnecessary; there are different ways of inducing anesthesia which reduce the risk of vomiting before the trachea is protected by the "breathing tube" which delivers oxygen & anesthetic gasses during the surgery. (The breathing tube is smaller than the trachea, but has an inflatable cuff near the end of it, which seals off the trachea & prevents air from leaking out of the trachea & liquids from getting into the lungs.)

<font size=20>
sheesh
</font>
(not directed at the OP here...)


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Sue from El Paso
members.aol.com/majormd/index.html (http://members.aol.com/majormd/index.html)

Markxxx
10-15-1999, 10:28 PM
In regards to the comment by Jacques
about lack of memory. There is a phenomena called "Retrograde Amnesia"
This explains why right after, say a car accident, you can talk to the victim he sounds OK, but remembers little. It even happens w/o drugs.

10-15-1999, 11:31 PM
I had surgery last year, and was put under. (Those anaesthetics work fast!) When I woke up, the doctor came to me and said "How are you feeling? I already checked with you after the operation, do you remember talking to me?" I couldn't remember a thing! Was the doctor putting me on?
- Jacques


As to not remembering a thing, there are some "anesthesias" that have that as a side effect.
Versid (did I spell it right, Dr Sue?) is a great one for this. They'll often give it IV for proceedures that don't require you to be unconscious, just cooperative and still.
- Suzeanne


Versed (close, Suzeanne :)) belongs to the class of drugs called benzodiazepines. Other well-known drugs in this class are Valium, Serax, Librium, Ativan, & Xanax. Patients sometimes call these the "I don't care" pills.

Of these, Versed, Xanax, & Ativan are shorter acting, and share a tendency to cause retrograde amnesia. Think of a time where you were the life of the party, but unless there were pictures or videotapes, you couldn't remember a thing. Yep, you are awake & chatty & totally disinhibited* but an hour later, remember only vaguely, if at all, what went on. Suzeanne, you mentioned this as a "side effect" of these drugs; actually it is very much an intended effect.

* the disinhibition is a key reason why many recovery rooms do not allow spouses to come in. Patients sometimes get very flirtatious with the recovery room staff, and even talk about things like past & present affairs & why the cute guy checking their dressing would be so much fun to give a blow job to...


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Sue from El Paso
members.aol.com/majormd/index.html (http://members.aol.com/majormd/index.html)

lvick
10-16-1999, 12:39 AM
Sue,
thanks so much for having a sense of humor, I believe it's a necessity for the 'Biz, that and a healthy appreciation for the absurd.

Not much to add to the empty belly question, but as far as resusitation goes on TV, they are pretty optomistic. IRL about 2-10% of CPR cases survive the immediate arrest, less actually check out of the hosp, less still without significant deficits. OTOH on ER/Chicago Hope et all they average about 2/3 save rate, and those people usually walk out with flowers and smiles. Would that it were so,
Larry, RN ER/PICU

Suzeanne
10-16-1999, 01:39 AM
Versed (thanks, Sue) is really too much fun. Really. I can remember watching the colours on the curtains start to dance. I got giggly. That, of course, is always the last thing I remember.

In waking up, it's saved me from remembering the puking caused by anesthesia (it's wild to be told you barfed on a doc, and don't have even the slightest memory of it -- you'd think you'd want to BE there for something like that). It was the first time I'd done it, so I couldn't even warn them that I was prone to power puking.

Just because you followed directions does NOT mean you aren't going to be sick anyway. Some people are just prone to it, and when going in for elective surgery, the anesthesiologists usually ask about that.

Sue's nailed the "I don't care" drug label.

meredith
10-16-1999, 02:09 AM
A little off subject, but I was in a car accident and broke my nose so badly the had to do reconstructive surgery. They only used a local anesthetic, so I could feel the bones scraping against each other.Yuck! :(

bantmof
10-16-1999, 05:13 AM
Here's another one: on ER they are forever slicing into the chests of people who have just passed out or "died", cracking their ribs to start their hearts. It usually works. So...do such people wake up in screaming hysterical agony with their chests cracked open? Dead...cracked chest, zapped heart...awake...conscious...dead again from horror and pain.
Good question! I've always wondered that too. I know virtually zippo about medicine, but it seems from what you see on those shows, that in emergency situations they just start carving into people (not necessarily even cracking the chest) with no regard to the level of pain they might be causing. Seems to me like that would create such a shock that it would itself be a big risk. Then again, I don't know what I'm talking about here.

Relatedly, I recall reading someplace (I don't remember where) that although general anesthetic "usually" works fine, in a small percentage of the cases it fails. The symptoms sound sort of like what happened to you: the result is that the person cannot move since one component of the anesthetic inhibits movement, but is aware of what's going on and sometimes can still feel pain. Supposedly such people afterwords have been able to recount precise details of what happened.

That creeps me out.

--
peas on earth

Stoid
10-16-1999, 02:05 PM
Bant:

That is EXACTLY what happened to me. It is a two-part process: paralyze your body/knowck you out.

And I learned afterwards that the "knowck you out" part fails much more often than you even wanna know about. I got in touch with a woman who has established an organization to address what she calls "awareness". SHe told me horror stories to curl your toes. I was having a short, simple surgery that wasn't very invasive, but there are cases of people who have become aware during OPEN HEART SURGERY. This woman was aware virtually throughout her surgery for what was claimed to be a hernia, I think. Turns out she didn't have one, which she learned lying on the table while the doctor was poking around in her guts and making jokes about her body with the nurses.

It makes you wonder how many people who die during surgery were aware and croaked from pain and fear?

It is deeply horrifying. Pray it never happens to you. (by far the worst aspect of it for me, since my surgery wasn't that big a deal - just a tiny tube through a small incision near my navel- was the fact that I was absolutely certain I could not breath. I was 100% paralyzed, INCLUDING being unable to control my own breathing, and I was desperate for air. It felt like an elephant sitting on my chest.)

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*************
This is a non-smoking area. If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and act accordingly.

Stoid
10-16-1999, 02:06 PM
Weird what your fingers will do, eh? Damn strange spelling of "knock" - TWICE!

I suck.

BoBettie
10-16-1999, 02:25 PM
Stol-
I don't want to get into a "contest" of icky surgery stories, but if it makes you feel any better at all, I still have nightmares about waking up after my spinal surgery.

Lets just say that it was an 8.5 hour procedure- they basically "broke" my back straight (fixed the curve in it) then put in a bunch of metal to hold it that way. Then they took bone off my hip (butt)bone to graft onto it.
No problem except that when they were done they woke me up with ABSOLUTELY NO DRUGS WHATSOEVER so they could have me move some parts and make sure I could feel everything. After about 10 seconds of waking up- at first I thought they were waking me during the surgery and something went wrong. They just woke me and said "Suzette- can you move your toes for me?". I remember thinking "I sure fucking hope so!". Then I started dry heaving. Just imagine that for a minute- after being cut and worked on for that long- dry heaving. I prayed for death- it didn't come. Then they mercifully knocked me back out.
I remember it like it was yesterday, and still have bad dreams about it. Scary shit, surgery is. That's why when I hear that someone is going to have the work done that I did, I offer to talk to them about it. Not to share scary stories, but to help them prepare. I wish I had a clue to what that was going to be like.
On the upside, my doc says labor should be a breeze.


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Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.
Zettecity (http://angelfire.com/ny3/zettecity/index.html)

bantmof
10-17-1999, 03:30 AM
I was having a short, simple surgery that wasn't very invasive,...
But the level of pain and terror must still have been overwhelming. I can't even imagine what you must have gone through.
It makes you wonder how many people who die during surgery were aware and croaked from pain and fear?
Yeah, it does. I'm not even sure that they know how often it happens and people survive, due to the amnesia that the anesthetics often produce. I.e, if you were conscious during part of the surgery, but due to induced amnesia you formed no memories during that time, then maybe you can't tell anyone what happened. But the amnesia wouldn't lessen the terror during the experience.

I wonder if there might not be some way to test for returning consciousness even if a person is fully paralyzed. I don't know what that might be, as I don't know beans about medicine, but it seems like an important enough thing to devote some effort to solving. Perhaps there might be detectable differences in brainwaves between someone who's firmly "under" and someone who's not?

--
peas on earth

RoboDude
10-17-1999, 06:22 PM
Cecil did a column about this sort of thing. They've recently invented an electronic gadget that somehow measurees your brain activity and determines how asleep you are, Anyone else know about this?

10-18-1999, 01:01 AM
Actually, since heart rate is constantly monitored & blood pressure is checked about every 5 minutes, the anesthesiologist would quite likely notice a sudden jump in either - rising consciousness would be one of the first considerations.

Unfortunately, this may not always be reliable, as many times, if erratic heart rate & blood pressure are predicted because of either the nature of the surgery or any pre-op conditions the patient may have, meds are given before & during surgery that could blunt or even eliminate these changes.



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Sue from El Paso
members.aol.com/majormd/index.html (http://members.aol.com/majormd/index.html)

GasDr
10-18-1999, 04:40 PM
Recall under anesthesia is actually quite rare, though by no means unheard of. Most of the times patients who have recall under anesthesia do not hurt but there are those who do.
Cardiac surgery is at the highest risk for having recall. Usually, because the anesthetic is a 'narcotic based' anesthetic. I.E. high dose narcotic with little if any 'anesthesia gas.' Narcotics do not produce amnesia...anesthetic gasses in appropriate concentrations do. The reason for this is that narcotis produce less cardiovascular effects (hypotension, cardiac depression) than anesthetic gasses. Though, the trend is now-a-days to decrease the amount of narcotics used and to increase the concentration of either volatile anesthetics or infusions of hypnotic drugs i.e. propofol.
During anesthesia, patient's volatile signs are continuously monitored. Based on several monitored parameters; blood pressure, heart rate, concentration of volatile anesthetic being exhaled (we know that for each volatile anesthetic there is a concentration called MAC in which 50% of patients will not move during surgical incision, the concentration for recall is less than MAC) we have a very good idea on how 'deep' a patient is under anesthesia.
There is a relatively new monitor out called a BIS (bispectral index) monitor which uses brain activity to provide a number from 0-100 (100 being awake, <80 asleep.) This monitor has been getting alot of press recently because of the horror stories being broadcast on show like 20/20, dateline etc. It's an okay monitor but despite what the papers/newscasts say, it has never been proven to reduce recall.

JoltSucker
10-18-1999, 05:18 PM
Majormd mentioned that some of the drugs used were disinhibiters, and that some patients start flirting with the staff, etc. When I got a wisdom tooth out once, I was going under while looking the sexy nurse over and thinking to myself "man, I'd like a blow job from her".

I always wondered if I embarrassed myself and her while I was out. If I did, I'm sure it was highly amusing. Do you guys who work in an ER have any good "disinhibition" stories to share with us?

Stoid
10-18-1999, 05:21 PM
Having the interest that I do in this topic, I have kept a close eye for info about it. It's interesting... it's very, very difficult to determine if a person is aware when their body is paralyzed. I distinctly recall one of the experiments, which obviously isn't practical for general use, involved cutting off the circulation to one arm while they put the patient under, then talking to him and asking him to move that arm/hand if he was aware. How weird!!

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*************
This is a non-smoking area. If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and act accordingly.

stupidwheelie
10-31-2013, 06:25 PM
Apologies if this seems a bit off-topic from the thread, and I know it might seem like an obvious question to some, but lets say if they did decide to empty the stomach contents from the person having the operation if it was an emergency operation, would they do it in the same way as when somebody get's their stomach pumped after they have swallowed poisons, or would they do it in a different way for emergency surgeries? :confused:

KarlGauss
10-31-2013, 09:58 PM
There is misinformation in this thread.

I am neither a surgeon nor an anesthetist but even as a mere internist feel confident in stating that the stomach is not "pumped" before emergency surgery. Rather, a so-called 'rapid sequence induction' (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rapid_sequence_induction) (sometimes called a 'crash induction') is performed.

Basically, this means the patient is first paralyzed, and then intubated very quickly. This is the opposite sequence for what is usually done for elective surgery. Don't forget to look here (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rapid_sequence_induction#Additional_considerations).

gotpasswords
10-31-2013, 10:21 PM
I think a fourteen year old zombie may be a record here. It's appropriate that it happened on Halloween.

Lets give it some anesthetic...

TashaKitty
10-31-2013, 11:24 PM
"Ever had surgery? You know how you are not supposed to eat or drink anything for 12 hours beforehand, because you could become dangerously ill, throwing up or drowning in your vomit or some such vileness..."

The danger is aspiration pneumonia, which is a lung infection that results from inhaling (also known as aspirating) vomit into your lungs.

"So what's the deal with emergency surgery? What if the guy with the gunshot wound jsut ate 3 helpings of Thanksgiving dinner right before he got shot, including three servings of pie?? What happens to him when they put him under? And if he can survive it, why can't others?"

In an emergency they're really more concerned about saving the person's life than they are about aspiration pneumonia. Not everyone vomits under anesthesia, and thankfully the inflated cuff of the endotracheal tube (the tube they put down your trachea to ventilate you during surgery) oftentimes will block any vomit from going down your trachea and into your lungs. In addition as soon as the anesthetist (who will be at the patient's head nearly 100% of the time) noticed that the patient is regurgitating, he or she will use a small suction catheter to suction the stomach contents out of the patient's mouth. Prior to extubating (removing the tube) they will most likely suction the mouth one more time as best they can and as a further precaution might extubate the patient with the cuff inflated (the cuff is usually deflated prior to removing the tube, as the trachea is sensitive and doesn't need to have its walls abraded by the cuff), so that any vomit that may have made its way down the trachea and was stopped by the inflated cuff of the tube will be pulled back upwards and into the mouth to be suctioned out.

"Here's another one: on ER they are forever slicing into the chests of people who have just passed out or "died", cracking their ribs to start their hearts. It usually works. So...do such people wake up in screaming hysterical agony with their chests cracked open? Dead...cracked chest, zapped heart...awake...conscious...dead again from horror and pain."

"Cracking the chest" is called a thoracotomy and when it is being performed in order to restart the heart, it is usually a last-ditch attempt and has a pretty dismal survival rate. If the patient is already unconscious then they are not anesthetized prior to intubation, but if they are awake they are promptly knocked out. I recall reading that patients who are conscious upon admission to the ER have a better survival rate than those who are unconscious, but that's beside the point. As for analgesia, my guess is that they would start the patient on pain meds as soon as possible (i.e. constant rate infusion (CRI) of fentanyl or another potent drug), regardless of prognosis, not only because pain is managed better when meds are given preemptively, but because, unconscious or not, the body still reacts to pain (i.e. heart rate and BP increase, among other things).

Napier
11-01-2013, 09:17 AM
I'm gonna try a slight hijack, on the basis that Stoid or Stoid's descendants are unlikely to still be waiting on answers to a question posted back in the first millennium.

Isn't it kind of hard that surgery usually involves working down in the bottom of a bleeding hole? And that for so many surgeries the patient is facing up, and is trying to breathe from the bottom of another hole that is secreting various fluids and not being cleared by normal swallowing? Though, of course, intubation fixes this as long as it lasts -- but then extubation is happening in the bottom of same hole, so similar issues could apply. And even dentistry has this same situation, right?

I picture more and more surgery being done robotically in the future, and it makes me wonder if eventually it will become typical for the robot (which wouldn't care) to be positioned under the patient and work upwards, so that all the various things that might interfere with access will tend to fall out of the wound. Or, even in the case of endoscopic surgery, if that is robotic, eventually it might be typical to position the patient so the surgical field tends to be uppermost in the cavity, so again fluids and interfering loose organs tend to move away from ground zero.

Keeve
11-01-2013, 11:00 AM
... Stoid or Stoid's descendants are unlikely to still be waiting on answers to a question posted back in the first millennium.second millennium

Napier
11-01-2013, 01:53 PM
second millennium

"One, two..." Gee, you're right! Not as bad as I thought!

Broomstick
11-01-2013, 07:56 PM
As for the chest cracking, we do that from time to time, but I can't recall any case where the patient actually survived. In real life, cracking a chest is a desperate and almost futile measure. I don't know how bad the sensations would be to a patient who woke up after surviving such an ordeal, but I assume the medical staff would handle it the way we deal with any other excruciatingly painful thing: give 'em drugs, drugs, drugs.
Well, my mom woke up during the middle cardiac bypass surgery, most definitely with cracked open ribs and a spreader for 'em. She survived, but wasn't believed until she repeated about 20 minutes worth of OR conversation.

"Horrific" doesn't even begin to touch it. Not the least because while the anesthetic wore off early the paralytic did not, so she had no way to communicate the problem at the time.

I think most people in the ER with a trauma-induced cardiac arrest will probably not remember the experience of getting their chest open because, first of all, as you note the vast majority don't survive and two, because a lot of trauma patients don't remember the ER or ICU much, if at all.

It is possible, though, that someone might not only survive that last-ditch open chest heart massage (I know of at least one documented case where someone did) but recall it later. Unlikely, but possible.

Cayuga
11-09-2013, 10:57 AM
* the disinhibition is a key reason why many recovery rooms do not allow spouses to come in. Patients sometimes get very flirtatious with the recovery room staff, and even talk about things like past & present affairs & why the cute guy checking their dressing would be so much fun to give a blow job to...

I re-resurrected this thread in order to relate something I heard yesterday.


I was in for a quick outpatient procedure. Before going into the procedure room, I dealt with about a half-dozen hospital employees, the last one being a very nice but nondescript middle-aged woman named Allison.

When I woke up, I heard this coming from a nearby curtained partition.


Patient (loudly): Is Allison here?

Nurse: [inaudible]

Patient: Are you Allison?

Nurse: [inaudible]

Patient: I want to see Allison.

Nurse: [inaudible]

Patient: Because I love her.

Nurse: [inaudible]

Patient (calling): Allison!

(My doctor approaches me, but is sidetracked by the other patient.)

Patient: Doctor, do you have my address?

Doctor: Yeah, I have your address.

Patient: I want you to give it to Allison.

Nurse: [inaudible]

Patient: But I love her!

(My doctor sits down next to me and opens a manilla folder.)

The procedure went well. We found something unexpected, but it doesn't

Patient (calling): Doctor!

Doctor: Just a minute, Bill. (to me) It doesn't seem to be anything

Patient (calling): Doctor!

Doctor: Just a minute, Bill. (to me) anything to worry about. Here are

Patient (calling): Doctor!

Doctor: Just a minute, Bill. (to me) the photos. As you

Patient (calling): Allison!

Doctor: can see, we managed

Patient (calling): Allison!

Doctor: to get all of it. Here's

Patient (calling): Allison!

Doctor: the written report. Do you

Patient (calling): ALLISON!

Doctor: have anything you want

Patient (calling): AL-LI-SON!

Doctor: to ask me?

Patient (calling): AL-LI-SON!

step on the beast
12-25-2013, 03:38 PM
It's largely because of this thread that I hope that throughout the rest of my life I never, ever have to have a major surgery! :eek:

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