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#1
Old 06-17-2002, 04:50 PM
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The proper name for a whale's penis.

I am attempting to determine whether or not a whale's penis is called a dork. I am being told this by a teenager and have subsequently discovered that this is all over the Interent in user posted forums. However, I am dubious that this nothing more than an urban myth working its way at lightspeed through teenagers sensitive to genital humor and wanted to see if the Teeming Millions might have a better idea.

Thanks,
Randy
#2
Old 06-17-2002, 05:42 PM
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I've heard this before, but not it is not included as a definition at m-w.com or dictionary.com

maybe a different dictionary with a biology/zoology emphasis might be of some help.
#3
Old 06-17-2002, 06:16 PM
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Baloney; dork is a slang term for "penis," probably from the Scots durk, "dagger." A whale's penis is called a penis.
#4
Old 06-17-2002, 06:21 PM
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According to the OED online, it's definitely a wang, but apparently of the human variety:

Quote:
slang (chiefly U.S.).
1. The penis.

1964 Amer. Speech XXXIX. 118 The word dick itself serves as a model for two variants which are
probably Midwestern, dirk and dork, also meaning ‘penis’. 1969 P. ROTH Portnoy's Complaint 194
The glorious acrobatics she can perform while dangling from the end of my dork. 1975 R. H.
RIMMER Premar Experiments (1976) i. 138 It's kind of fun to watch balls and dorks and titties
bobbing in separate rhythms. 1984 Spectator 27 Oct. 34/1 A man with one leg and a vermilion
bladder, violet stomach and testicles and a scarlet dork is seen putting it into another amputee.
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#5
Old 06-17-2002, 06:25 PM
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Moby?
#6
Old 06-17-2002, 07:40 PM
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You mean Portnoy's Complaint was about whales???
#7
Old 06-17-2002, 09:19 PM
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"Pink Floyd"
#8
Old 06-17-2002, 09:36 PM
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'Big'
#9
Old 06-17-2002, 10:34 PM
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oosik
#10
Old 06-17-2002, 10:36 PM
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Well..more specifically..

Oosik is the bone in the whales penis.
#11
Old 06-17-2002, 11:22 PM
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Other purported whale facts

Quote:
The largest penis in the animal kingdom is that of the blue whale. Its average length is 11 feet (3.35 m)!

The largest testicles in the world are those of the northern right whale (Eubalaena glacialis), which has a pair of gonads that can weigh up to 2,200 lbs (997.902 kg).

The reason why they evolved such enormous testicles is caused by the fact that each whale's sperm competes with that of other whales. When the female whale comes into heat she immediately gets mobbed by about 30 passionate males who all make love to her (or at least try this). Each whale attempts to wash out the sperm of the competitor with their own. The more sperm they produce, the biggest the chance they will succeed.

The largest vagina is that of the female blue whale, which is not surprising considering the size her lover's penis. Her vulva consists of a long groove along her underside and normally has a length of 6 to 8 feet (1.82 m to 2.44 m). It expands when intercourse occurs.
#12
Old 06-17-2002, 11:23 PM
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Even more specifically, oosik is the Inuit word for a walrus (and possibly a whale's as well) baculum.
#13
Old 06-17-2002, 11:33 PM
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Oh come on now..

Doesn't Oosik sound better than baculum?

#14
Old 06-17-2002, 11:54 PM
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Shamoo calls his "Li'l Shamoo".

And the obvious one is "Willy".
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#15
Old 06-18-2002, 04:02 AM
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Quote:
that unaccountable cone,- longer than a Kentuckian is tall, nigh a foot in diameter at the base, and jet-black as Yojo ... the grandissimus, as the mariners call it ...
From Chapter 95 of Moby Dick http://americanliterature.com/MD/MD95.HTML
#16
Old 06-18-2002, 10:18 AM
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rbefumo, no I don't think a whale penis is called a dork. However, being this is your first post,
why did you want to know what it's called?
#17
Old 06-18-2002, 10:20 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by astro
Its average length is 11 feet (3.35 m)!
Sir?
#18
Old 06-18-2002, 02:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by handy
rbefumo, no I don't think a whale penis is called a dork.
Well, since it's already been proven that "dork" does mean "penis," I don't see why not.

Quote:
why did you want to know what it's called?
Hey, if we're fighting ignorance, we have to address all of the questions, not just the ones that are sufficiently dignified.
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#19
Old 06-18-2002, 03:28 PM
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Example of usage of baculum from the OED:

Quote:
A baculum..is a heterotopic bone, which is the skeleton of the penis, found in all insectivores, bats, rodents, and carnivores, and in all primates except man
And here I thought "Monkeybone" was just a movie title...
#20
Old 06-18-2002, 09:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by astro
The largest penis in the animal kingdom is that of the blue whale. Its average length is 11 feet (3.35 m)!

The largest testicles in the world are those of the northern right whale (Eubalaena glacialis), which has a pair of gonads that can weigh up to 2,200 lbs (997.902 kg).

The reason why they evolved such enormous testicles is caused by the fact that each whale's sperm competes with that of other whales. When the female whale comes into heat she immediately gets mobbed by about 30 passionate males who all make love to her (or at least try this). Each whale attempts to wash out the sperm of the competitor with their own. The more sperm they produce, the biggest the chance they will succeed.

The largest vagina is that of the female blue whale, which is not surprising considering the size her lover's penis. Her vulva consists of a long groove along her underside and normally has a length of 6 to 8 feet (1.82 m to 2.44 m). It expands when intercourse occurs.
[/B]
So this thing is twice as long as I am tall, the gonads are a good 15 times my weight... I can't really picture this (for which I'm thankful), so the only thing that really comes to mind is... Holy F*ck!
#21
Old 11-20-2012, 06:24 AM
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You ask what is the proper name for a whale's Penis????? V.

If you read the question you read the awnswer.
It's like asking the proper name for a table or chairs. It seems pretty clear that it would be one of two things:
A: a penis
Or
B: Oh my g_d

Do you think theat the great white whale should have been named
Money Dork?
#22
Old 11-20-2012, 06:43 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Darwin's Finch View Post
Even more specifically, oosik is the Inuit word for a walrus (and possibly a whale's as well) baculum.
I thought Baculum was that guy that starred in Quantum Leap. No?

Last edited by Machine Elf; 11-20-2012 at 06:43 AM.
#23
Old 11-20-2012, 06:44 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by astro View Post
Other purported whale facts
"The reason why they evolved such enormous testicles is caused by the fact that each whale's sperm competes with that of other whales. When the female whale comes into heat she immediately gets mobbed by about 30 passionate males who all make love to her (or at least try this). Each whale attempts to wash out the sperm of the competitor with their own. The more sperm they produce, the biggest the chance they will succeed."
I am unclear how this situation is specific for whales...
#24
Old 11-20-2012, 06:53 AM
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This thread is 10 years old.

Happy birthday, thread!!
#25
Old 11-20-2012, 07:30 AM
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What is the name of a zombie penis?
#26
Old 11-20-2012, 07:36 AM
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"Whale wang, again. Don't know why, don't know when, but I know we'll discuss whale wang once again."
#27
Old 11-20-2012, 07:56 AM
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You ask what is the proper name for a whale's Penis????? V.

[SIZE="4"]If you read the question you read the awnswer.
It's like asking the proper name for a table or chairs. It seems pretty clear that it would be one of two things:
A: a penis
Or
B: Oh my g_d

Do you think theat the great white whale should have been named
Mobey Dork?[/SIZET]
#28
Old 11-20-2012, 08:21 AM
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Hey now, the OP only posted THIS question, and hasn't been back here in ten years. He's not going to answer even if you shout.
#29
Old 11-20-2012, 09:21 AM
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As a corollary to the OP's question, I believe the female counterpart is known as "San Diego."
#30
Old 11-20-2012, 09:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Smeghead View Post
This thread is 10 years old.

Happy birthday, thread!!

That's cool. If I were a zombie, I'd love to be stalking around at my own party!
#31
Old 11-20-2012, 09:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by johncole View Post
Moby?
Yes, my first thought when I saw teh title was "Moby Dick", of course.
#32
Old 11-20-2012, 10:06 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bibliophage View Post
From Chapter 95 of Moby Dick http://americanliterature.com/MD/MD95.HTML
I, too, had pointed this out in this 2008 thread: http://boards.academicpursuits.us/sdmb/...t=grandissimus
#33
Old 11-20-2012, 10:21 AM
D18 D18 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zen101 View Post
Shamoo calls his "Li'l Shamoo".
I was unaware that female Orcas had penises. Ignorance fought!

Last edited by D18; 11-20-2012 at 10:21 AM.
#34
Old 11-20-2012, 10:21 AM
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zombie or no

i thought they were called a herman.
#35
Old 11-20-2012, 11:02 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chief Pedant View Post
I am unclear how this situation is specific for whales...
It's not. Bonobos (aka pigmy chimps) are like this as well. But they're considerably smaller than whales.

Most species aren't promiscuous like this, but in those that are, sperm production is selected for.
#36
Old 11-20-2012, 05:49 PM
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Hey, Bonobos in two simultaneous threads! (See "Penis in Vagina" discussion.) What are the odds of that?
#37
Old 11-20-2012, 06:36 PM
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I don't know too much about a whale's penis, but I do know "San Diego" is German for a whale's vagina.
#38
Old 11-21-2012, 10:58 AM
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Whatever it wants to be called. Boy howdy!
#39
Old 11-21-2012, 11:03 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by D18 View Post
I was unaware that female Orcas had penises. Ignorance fought!
Many females have lots of penises. Ask my ex if you don't believe me.

Last edited by Morgenstern; 11-21-2012 at 11:04 AM.
#40
Old 11-21-2012, 11:17 AM
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I saw an episode of "Ripley's Believe it or Not" where Dean Cain had a stuffed one.

And according to Dean Cain, a whale's whang is called a.....dork.

If Dean Cain says so, it's gotta be true.


~VOW
#41
Old 11-21-2012, 12:56 PM
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So which species has the longest penis relative to body length?

(Dah-da-dee-doh, Dah-da-dee-doh,..whooop-d'da-da-da-da-doh.

I love asking this question to people as an icebreaker or, I guess, bar bet.
#42
Old 11-21-2012, 01:12 PM
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Later in life, when ED starts to take its toll, whales of both sexes call it a "Whale Fail".
#43
Old 11-21-2012, 04:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leo Bloom View Post
So which species has the longest penis relative to body length?...
Barnacles?: http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/di...on-like-penis/
#44
Old 11-21-2012, 05:10 PM
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Yes! Let your fingers do the walking...
#45
Old 11-21-2012, 06:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elendil's Heir View Post
I believe that there's a species of duck that wins this prize.
#46
Old 11-21-2012, 08:22 PM
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All these years and all these posts later, and no one's suggested calling it a Whaenis?

Dorks.
#47
Old 11-21-2012, 11:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nunzio Tavulari View Post
I believe that there's a species of duck that wins this prize.
Cite?
#48
Old 11-21-2012, 11:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leo Bloom View Post
Cite?
Argentine Lake Duck

It may be the vertebrate with the relatively longest penis, but barnacles probably win overall.

Last edited by Colibri; 11-21-2012 at 11:13 PM.
#49
Old 11-21-2012, 11:21 PM
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You could tell by that smirk on their faces.
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