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#1
Old 07-21-2003, 06:52 PM
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Who here has caught either parent masterbating?

I know theres more than a few here (in therapy) who have accidentally witnessed their parental units procreating to which some extreme emotional upheavel followed, But i am here to take survey of the how many people here actually caught (accidentally) their dads "spanking the monkey" or moms, as the females call it, "finishing the job".

Catching the parents having sex is bad enuf but what went thru your minds when you found one going solo?
#2
Old 07-21-2003, 10:04 PM
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I can't say I have and I'm sorry. I can, however, recount the time I found my moms dildo.

What did I do? I used it.

All together now: "Eww.."
#3
Old 07-22-2003, 12:15 AM
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I can't say I have sorry

I don't have anything to add except ewwwwwwwwwww to karomon



....ewwwwww
#4
Old 07-22-2003, 01:25 AM
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Yeah, unfortunately. Walked in on my dad in the Family room late one night. At the time, I didn't realize what exactly he was doing. It was only until later that there was this realization of what exactly he was doing.
#5
Old 07-22-2003, 02:05 AM
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Never, but I have caught my father looking at pictures of women in business dressed smoking cigarettes and blowing smoke seductively.
#6
Old 07-22-2003, 03:35 AM
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Well, I caught a friend's mom masturbating.

At least, I think I didI walked out into the living room from my friend's room and she abruptly snapped to attention while laying under a blanket on the couch. I suspect she was naked underneath; her shoulders were bare and she had this suspicious look about her.

It wasn't terribly eventful, but me and my friends didn't really bring it to David's (not his name) attention.
#7
Old 07-22-2003, 03:39 AM
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Thanks for putting that thought in my head.

*ew*
#8
Old 07-22-2003, 06:25 AM
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I. Would. Die.

It's quite odd that I (and many others) have this reaction to any thoughts of my parents' sex lives. I found...erm...evidence that my mom is having sex a couple of years ago and it grossed me out, yet I want to be perfectly free to have an active sex life at her age*. Why the double standard?


*better get to work on that...
#9
Old 07-22-2003, 07:33 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by karomon
I can, however, recount the time I found my moms dildo.

What did I do? I used it.
WHY?!
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#10
Old 07-22-2003, 10:21 AM
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My sister caught my mom and her girlfriend dildoing eachother once. Shortly thereafter the girlfriend was gone and replaced with a boyfriend. I always wondered if it had anything to do with them getting caught because she hasn't had a girlfriend since (or before that I am aware of).
#11
Old 07-22-2003, 10:30 AM
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"My sister caught my mom and her girlfriend dildoing eachother once. "

Dear Penthouse Forum:

I never thought I'd be writing to you...
#12
Old 07-22-2003, 12:31 PM
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I never caught my parents masterbating but I did catch them having sex on September 29th 1980. I am scarred for life.
#13
Old 07-22-2003, 12:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by AngelicGemma

Quote:
Originally posted by karomon
I can, however, recount the time I found my moms dildo.

What did I do? I used it.
WHY?!
Because it was there?
#14
Old 07-22-2003, 01:04 PM
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I caught my Grandmother once, but you didn't ask about that, so never mind...
#15
Old 07-22-2003, 01:04 PM
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Well, maybe it's just me, but I'd like to officially nominate this as the "Most Disturbing Thread Title of the Year (Perhaps the Decade)."

*ick*
#16
Old 07-22-2003, 01:35 PM
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Why would anyone chase their parents while wacking off?
#17
Old 07-22-2003, 01:45 PM
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I think I heard my Mother once with a back massager. She sounded a little to enthused to be just be hitting the tight spots on her shoulders. I just left her to her business, and cracked a smile.
#18
Old 07-22-2003, 02:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by lorene

It's quite odd that I (and many others) have this reaction to any thoughts of my parents' sex lives. I found...erm...evidence that my mom is having sex a couple of years ago and it grossed me out, yet I want to be perfectly free to have an active sex life at her age*. Why the double standard?
Which is exactly the real purpose of this thread. I have the same heebeegeebees just thinking about it and I never caught them doing anything. My older brother's response to that was since they had me (im the youngest) all thoughts of sex evaporated from their heads... I need to smack my older brother for that.

Anyways, thinking about it from the perspective of a stranger, if I caught a woman doing her business, I might be amused or even tempted to watch. If i picture my mom at that age doing the exact same thing and I have near audible screams of agony and disgust going thru my head. but that would be a subject for the GD forum

Quote:
Originally posted by godzillatemple
Well, maybe it's just me, but I'd like to officially nominate this as the "Most Disturbing Thread Title of the Year (Perhaps the Decade)."

*ick*
Why THANK YOU!
#19
Old 07-22-2003, 03:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by karomon
I can't say I have and I'm sorry. I can, however, recount the time I found my moms dildo.

What did I do? I used it.

That's a sig.

Not mine, but somebody's
#20
Old 07-22-2003, 04:35 PM
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An ex-girlfriend said she went into the bathroom to get ready forwork when her mom was in the shower. No big deal, the ladies in that household always did that. Only this time, my ex happened to look over and saw her mom (through the clear plexi-glass door) diddling herself.

She quickly and quietly left the room.



Happy
#21
Old 07-22-2003, 06:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by karomon
I can, however, recount the time I found my moms dildo.

What did I do? I used it.
Used it for what? Stirring pancake batter? Croquet stake?

If you used it for a baseball bat, suddenly I know a lot more about you and your mother than I needed to.
#22
Old 07-22-2003, 06:46 PM
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I found my mom's massager, it was one of those hard pink plastic things that looks vaguely phallic, of course it's only shaped like that to get into all those hard to reach sore muscle areas, I guess that's also why it's pink.

I also found what I assume were my dad's visual aids a.k.a. "art books".
#23
Old 07-22-2003, 07:13 PM
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I am laughing my ass off because I was horrified by the thread title, yet clicked anyway. And now, to those of you who have caught your parents masturbating or have found evidence, I can only say one thing:

HA HA

Cause I know my parents are only into sex for procreation. In fact, they've only had sex twice...once to have me and once to have my brother.

I would have gone with the immaculate conception idea, but only the Devil could have spawned my brother...or was that me?
#24
Old 07-22-2003, 08:45 PM
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I haven't, thank God, but a friend of mine has run across his mom's Motion Lotion and pornography, as well as accidentally finding her dildo (when it switched itself on) between her mattresses.

E
#25
Old 07-22-2003, 11:05 PM
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Like hillbilly queen, I found my mother's vibrator and believed it was a massager for several years. It was one of those cheap white plastic types sold in catalogs with a picture of someone using on their face. I figured out what it really was by the time I hit puberty, but she finally learned to keep it out of sight.

I've never caught my mother masturbating (I was raised by her alone) but I know of at least one occasion when I could be certain that's what she was doing. The looooooong silent time in her room with the door shut, the book on sex left out and the wet spot on the mattress afterward all gave it away. (We had a small house, and my mother is anything but careful.)
I was annoyed, amused, and then annoyed again, but not disgusted. Annoyed because she had been such a paranoiac about me masturbating - questioning me about what I might be using Vaseline for, hammering on the bathroom door anytime I was in there more than 2 minutes, etc. Amused because, well, she went and did the same things I did behind closed doors. It was one of those experiences that tends to reduce a parent to a human level in their child's eyes. Annoyed again because all of the above revealed that my mother was a hypocrite.
#26
Old 07-22-2003, 11:12 PM
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Well, I can positively say MY parents **never** did it. I was adopted and am an only child.

They certainly wouldn't have been having sex (together or alone) for fun would they?

Lizard, I would have been totally pissed at the double standard. Too bad it wasn't something you could have called her on!
#27
Old 07-23-2003, 12:51 PM
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I once arrived at my parent's house unnannounced one afternoon (Mom not home) and surprised my Dad (80 yrs old) in the lazy boy abruptly zipping up his pants.

Sigue 3 yrs down the road.

In the hospital room with my comatose Dad who was dying from complications of aortic aneuyrism surgery and thumbing thru his hospital chart...specifically the admission history and physical. Boy was I shocked to read that the doctor said his physical examination was unremarkable except for a penile implant!

Don't know what possessed me but I couldn't resist lifting up the covers for a peek. Holy Cow! My dad had a schlong that John Holmes would've been proud of.

I know, DISGUSTING!
#28
Old 07-23-2003, 01:32 PM
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Worse, I gound pictures of my parents masturbating, At least A stack of pictures, the first of which showed that, I was too busy burning my corneas with bleach to look at the rest.
#29
Old 07-23-2003, 01:49 PM
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OK everyone, for Flowerchild...

EEEEWWWWWWW!!!!

#30
Old 07-23-2003, 01:50 PM
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well thank goodness i didn't see them.

Once i stayed up late (small appartment) watching tv. As i walked to my room, i wanted to open my parent's door (to have air circulation). I found it odd that the handle turned but the door was stuck. (there were no locks on these doors) and i immediatly stoped and continued quietly to my room.

glad i did

because the next day, as i am helping mother fold the laundry, i found a little plastic pouch with a smiling banana drawn on it. I snickered and gave it to my mom. She laughed (bless her good sense of humor) and gave it to my dad.

He left room quite fast
#31
Old 07-23-2003, 04:18 PM
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My stepdad tells me one day, "Hey Ender, can you mow the lawn some time today" I say, "Sure." Half an hour later, I go get the mower out of the garage, quite an arduous process in an of itself, and take it around back. Now, my parent's bedroom has a large window facing the backyard. I get to the lawn, begin the even more arduous process of actually starting the mower, hear "AHH FUCK!" glance over and see, through aforementioned window, the stepdad nude on the bed, scrambling for the covers, holding a magazine. There didn't appear to be many words in said magazine, but beyond that I didn't notice.
#32
Old 07-23-2003, 04:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by 5U1C1D3
because the next day, as i am helping mother fold the laundry, i found a little plastic pouch with a smiling banana drawn on it. I snickered and gave it to my mom. She laughed (bless her good sense of humor) and gave it to my dad.

He left room quite fast
Um...I don't get it. What's up with the smiling banana?
#33
Old 07-23-2003, 04:33 PM
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Yup, sure did. Worse od it was I was going into the bathroom with a male friend for whom I was getting something. (what I no longer remember) So we both had the joy of withnessing my Father sitting on the toilet with his issue of (get this!) Civil War Illustrated whackin' away. We didn't say a damn word and neither did he, I just slammed the door closed at lightning speed, went back into my bedroom and laughed ourselves silly.

It took me over 10 years before I could even listen to anything that remotly had to do with the American Civil War.
#34
Old 07-23-2003, 06:52 PM
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Well as they say... The SOUTH shall rise again!!!

..especially wit the introduction of viagra
#35
Old 07-23-2003, 10:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Lord Ashtar
Um...I don't get it. What's up with the smiling banana?
errr....didn't you ever in your life heard the penis being called or associated to a banana?
The smiling banana was the logo on that plastic pouch..which was a condom, you see..
#36
Old 07-23-2003, 11:11 PM
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What's with all the ewwww? 75% of people admit to masterbating and the other 25% lie about it.

Which group are y'all in?
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#37
Old 07-23-2003, 11:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by TelcontarStorm
Yup, sure did. Worse od it was I was going into the bathroom with a male friend for whom I was getting something. (what I no longer remember) So we both had the joy of withnessing my Father sitting on the toilet with his issue of (get this!) Civil War Illustrated whackin' away. We didn't say a damn word and neither did he, I just slammed the door closed at lightning speed, went back into my bedroom and laughed ourselves silly.

It took me over 10 years before I could even listen to anything that remotly had to do with the American Civil War.

Ah, yes. The infamous Civil War Illustrated Swimsuit Edition.
#38
Old 07-24-2003, 12:11 AM
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I'm guessing it was a long article on Gen. Hooker, and his famous followers, m'self.
#39
Old 07-24-2003, 12:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by TelcontarStorm
Yup, sure did. Worse od it was I was going into the bathroom with a male friend for whom I was getting something. (what I no longer remember) So we both had the joy of withnessing my Father sitting on the toilet with his issue of (get this!) Civil War Illustrated whackin' away. We didn't say a damn word and neither did he, I just slammed the door closed at lightning speed, went back into my bedroom and laughed ourselves silly.

It took me over 10 years before I could even listen to anything that remotly had to do with the American Civil War.
OMG. It rarely literally happens, but I just busted a gut laughing loudly to this post.
#40
Old 07-24-2003, 02:04 AM
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Well, my parents don't have sexual feelings of any kind. I was dropped off by a stork. I know for a fact that they have never engaged in anything even remotely resembling masturbation.

I just know. Okay?!?
#41
Old 11-04-2017, 06:21 PM
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my dad kept his porno mags in their bedroom closet. there was a peice of sheet rock missing between the bathroom closet and their bedroom closet. i would crawl thru and grab some mags and jack off in the bathroom.
my mom and dad split up and i thought he must have overlooked taking his mags. my mom worked nights as a bar maid, so it was becoming routine for me to hear her with a man late at night after i had fallen asleep and she finished her shift. she would also take naps in the afternoon when i would get home from school. i would sneek in the closet and grab a few mags and go jack off. when i went into the closet, the door was slightly open and i saw my mom looking at a mag and rubbing herself. i had caught glimpses of both her her pussy and tits, she would walk around in a short robe or komona, and it was always coming open, but this was the first time i was able to get a real long look. she was a redhead and i was always facinated with her red bush, only a couple in the mags, and she had really large breast. i wanted to jack off but was afraid i'd make noise and get caught. i watched as much as i could, even started to stay awake at night and watch her with guys, a few times with other women and was shocked the first time i watched her with 2 men
#42
Old 11-04-2017, 06:45 PM
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Cool story bro.
#43
Old 11-04-2017, 06:48 PM
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But did you ever watch a zombie masterbate?
#44
Old 11-04-2017, 07:19 PM
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Nasty!!
#45
Old 11-04-2017, 07:44 PM
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I'm traumatized. I have a sister -- that means my parents did it TWICE.


(Seriously dude, this isn't fetlife)

Last edited by Guinastasia; 11-04-2017 at 07:45 PM.
#46
Old 11-04-2017, 07:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cochrane View Post
But did you ever watch a zombie masterbate?
You keep on using that word. I do not think you know how it is actually spelled.
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#47
Old 11-04-2017, 08:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by John DiFool View Post
You keep on using that word. I do not think you know how it is actually spelled.
Whoosh.

Thread title: "Who here has caught either parent masterbating?" (sic)

I knew how it's spelled. I was just poking fun at the typo.

Last edited by cochrane; 11-04-2017 at 08:09 PM.
#48
Old 11-04-2017, 09:09 PM
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Moderator Note

Let's lay this one to rest, shall we?
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