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#1
Old 05-29-2005, 06:21 PM
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So I caught my Step-brother comparing his penis with another boy...should I tell?

I'm asking this because I usually get good advice from the SDMB.


This OP could be considered graphic but that's not the purpose of it so instead I'm going to try making this short.


I have watched my Step-Bro before and it is a very easy job because I'm only asked to watch him for 2-3 hours, I get paid well for it and he is easy to watch. All the kid does is play video games and eat cereal. He could literally be so into a game that he won't even know that his Mom is gone and I'm watching him.
When he has a friend over it's the same thing, they will get a box of cereal and plop down somewhere and play games.


The other night (May 28) I was in charge of my SB and his friend. They appeared to be doing the usual routine.
After about an hour of near silence coming from their direction I decided I should check up on them. My SB and his friend were in our bedroom and when I opened the door they were standing face to face about 2 feet apart with their "weiners" popping out of their pants.

I asked "what is going on?" and my SB casually responded; "We were just seeing who had the biggest boner." Neither one seemed to be embarassed about being caught the only thing they said was that they were scared at first because they thought I was Dad or Mom.

I left the room and after a few minutes decided that "Tommy" should go home but when I went in the 2nd time they were innocently playing video games like nothing ever happened, so I didn't do anything.

My Questions;

Does this mean that they don't respect me since they didn't seem to be embarassed after getting caught?

and

Should I tell what happpened just to cover my a$$?

Just to set things straight I didn't particpate with them or encourage them to compare penis size, I just happened to catch them in progress.
#2
Old 05-29-2005, 06:34 PM
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They're about the same age, right? If so, don't worry about it. It's normal little boy stuff.

(And for goodness sake, ignore all the future posts demanding that you call CPS right away...)
#3
Old 05-29-2005, 06:35 PM
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I don't really think it's anything to be up in arms about. It depends on how old these boys are. Often, boys like to find out more about their bodies and compare.

You might want to tell them both that it's inappropriate to do this sort of thing in public, though :P
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#4
Old 05-29-2005, 06:54 PM
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I wouldn't sweat it. And I expect they weren't embarrassed because they figured you wouldn't freak out on them - I don't think respect had anything to do with it.
#5
Old 05-29-2005, 08:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KGS
It's normal little boy stuff...
Yeah I thought so, I was doing similar stuff when I was 10 but I didn't want for all his friends to think that whenever I was home alone they could just whip their dicks out.
#6
Old 05-29-2005, 09:21 PM
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You should have told them to put there pricks back in there pants at least.

If it were me I would have been "What the hell's wrong with you guys? Put those things away for COL!."

I wouldn't of said it in an angry tone but more of a half assed "I'm laughing at you/ dubious kind of tone."
#7
Old 05-29-2005, 09:54 PM
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1) How old are the boys?

2) Assuming they're pre-pubescent (and probably even if they're not), yes, you should tell. It's not a big deal, but it's still noteworthy, and if I were a parent in this case I'd want to hear it.
#8
Old 05-29-2005, 10:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VarlosZ
It's not a big deal, but it's still noteworthy, and if I were a parent in this case I'd want to hear it.
I agree. You don't want the parents comming back to you because they were caught again. But this time, the kids said "START didn't have a problem with it last time we got caught!"
#9
Old 05-29-2005, 10:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by START
Does this mean that they don't respect me since they didn't seem to be embarassed after getting caught?
You want them to tremble with fear because you saw their dicks? Dude, it was harmless and normal, just forget about it.


Quote:
Originally Posted by START
Should I tell what happpened just to cover my a$$?
Nope. Telling won't help a thing, but it will stat a load of crap completely out of proportion to what they did.
#10
Old 05-29-2005, 11:30 PM
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Whatever you do keep it to yourself and ignore advise that would maybe cause
grief with his folks, kids do all manner of things that are perfectly normal,
and perfectly innocent at least untill an uninformed parent goes over the roof about it which generally leads to some sort issue to arise in the poor kid
#11
Old 05-29-2005, 11:41 PM
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The incident you describe is totally minor and insignificant. Unless, that is, you choose to attempt to curry favor by mentioning it. Then it could blow up into something.

Me, I'd forget it, or certainly never mention it. You want him squealing on you when he catches you boinkin' your girlfriend? Remember, what goes around comes around.
#12
Old 05-30-2005, 12:46 AM
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Well, considering your choice of location ...

#13
Old 05-30-2005, 12:53 AM
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Quote:
I asked "what is going on?" and my SB casually responded; "We were just seeing who had the biggest boner."
You have GOT to put a stop to this right now. If you don't, the next thing you know, they'll be buying sports cars and pickup trucks.
#14
Old 05-30-2005, 01:21 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VarlosZ
1) How old are the boys?

2) Assuming they're pre-pubescent (and probably even if they're not), yes, you should tell. It's not a big deal, but it's still noteworthy, and if I were a parent in this case I'd want to hear it.
As the parent of a pre-pubescent boy (about 10 years ago), I would not have wanted to know this tidbit of information.

IMO, it's perfectly normal behavior and frankly, parents don't need to know everything. If the boys were behaving inappropriately like touching each other, then absolutely go to the parents but just comparing body parts ain't no thang.
#15
Old 05-30-2005, 01:33 AM
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START

1. I think you should look at their lack of fear more as a sign that they trust you and feel comfortable with you than as a sign of disrespect.

2. It's completely normal for boys to do stuff like that. It's really nothing to be concerned about, and there's no reason to tell your parents...especially if its the kind of thing you think they might freak out or get overly dramatic about.
#16
Old 05-30-2005, 02:20 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Diogenes the Cynic
It's completely normal for boys to do stuff like that.
Y'all are wierd. As a boy, the last thing I have ever wanted to see in the world was some other dude's dick.
Of course porn kind of negates that.
#17
Old 05-30-2005, 02:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Diogenes the Cynic
START

1. I think you should look at their lack of fear more as a sign that they trust you and feel comfortable with you than as a sign of disrespect.

2. It's completely normal for boys to do stuff like that. It's really nothing to be concerned about, and there's no reason to tell your parents...especially if its the kind of thing you think they might freak out or get overly dramatic about.
Well considering I played "Truth or Dare" a lot in Elementary School and it usually involved someone showing a "naughty" part I understand about it being normal but I could also see it being blown out of proportion.

" ...In other news a teenaged boy was arrested for letting 10 year olds play sex games while under his care... what a sick, sad world we live in... back to you in the studio."

I'm Glad they trust me and I personally don't care if they want to compare boners but I hope it doesn't become a habit. Yes I do know that both boys parents especially my Step-Mom would freak out and that is a huge understatement.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SHAKES
You should have told them to put there pricks back in there pants at least.
Didn't have to they did on their own but not fast like I would have expected. I think that shocked me almost as much as the incident because if it was me when I was 10 I would have been moving so fast if someone caught me.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Acetylsalicylic
You have GOT to put a stop to this right now. If you don't, the next thing you know, they'll be buying sports cars and pickup trucks.
The insurance is so high on sports cars, maybe I should tell.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Uvula Donor
You want them to tremble with fear because you saw their dicks? Dude, it was harmless and normal, just forget about it.
It's just not the reaction I would have expected because like I said if it was me I would have jumped 10 feet in the air but they were cool and casual, not that it's a bad thing just seems unusual to me.
#18
Old 05-30-2005, 03:04 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ParentalAdvisory
I agree. You don't want the parents comming back to you because they were caught again. But this time, the kids said "START didn't have a problem with it last time we got caught!"
I overlooked this response...

I know for sure that both parents would go crazy, my Step-mom is a really nice lady but she is so against any form of Homosexuality. I could only imagine what she would do if she knew her son was doing something she would perceive as "gay".

Do you think if I talked to them rather than getting parents involved I could still "cover my butt"?
#19
Old 05-30-2005, 03:21 AM
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Homosexuality?
I'm no pickle fuffin poopy poker and had many many whip it out and compare episodes and with plenty of girls as witnesses. last one was 1987 when I was 29!
#20
Old 05-30-2005, 03:28 AM
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The fact that they did not jump or move quickly meant that they are pure evil.

Comparing body parts with another person at a young age is a sexual act.

If you compaire them with someone of the same sex it is gay.

Knowing the size of another boys genitals is gay unless you accidently get a glance in a locker room. Accual comparing is well lets just say very bad.

Gay is bad.

Almost gay is bad.

Both parants should know because that way they can scold him real good and make him shamefull of his body like everyone should be.

I just cant belive that a young boy his age isnt shamefull of himself yet.

Something must be done. because who knows what could happen they could look at each others bodies again.

What a fucking shame.
#21
Old 05-30-2005, 08:40 AM
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Do you have the option of just telling your dad? That way you can all agree that this is normal behavior for boys (which I agree with). But also, this is not the first post you've made on a related topic, and that gives me the sense that your SB may be having more than the average challenges associated w/ puberty.

Your description that they were less nervous than you expected also concerns me a bit. That makes me sense that they were not sure how an authority figure would react to inappropriate sexual behavior.

I realize it might seem like an oxymoron, that I find this normal but also inappropriate behavior. But that to me that is a paradox of a lot of sexual behavior. There is a lot that is normal, but inappropriate in public.

Your SB may be having some personal issues related to his mom getting married. Or, god forbid, she could have dated someone kind of squicky before your dad came along.

All in all I wish you the best in not having to deal with this type of uncomfortable situations. No, you don't want to start a witch hunt. But you shouldn't be caught in the middle of a difficult situation like this, either.
#22
Old 05-30-2005, 09:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alaska56
The fact that they did not jump or move quickly meant that they are pure evil.

Comparing body parts with another person at a young age is a sexual act.

If you compaire them with someone of the same sex it is gay.

Knowing the size of another boys genitals is gay unless you accidently get a glance in a locker room. Accual comparing is well lets just say very bad.

Gay is bad.

Almost gay is bad.

Both parants should know because that way they can scold him real good and make him shamefull of his body like everyone should be.

I just cant belive that a young boy his age isnt shamefull of himself yet.

Something must be done. because who knows what could happen they could look at each others bodies again.

What a fucking shame.
Of course, these are all things only a twit would say. You forgot to mention that.
#23
Old 05-30-2005, 09:34 AM
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I think telling your dad, casually, might be a good idea. Not in a dframa queen "OHMIGAWD GUESS WHAT HAPPENED" way, but a chuckling, "you'll never guess what those whippersnappers were up to last night." sort of way. Heck, ask your dad if it's something you should be concerned about and "tell." He sounds like a great dad from your other posts. He may even tell you about the time he caught you and the neighbor kid doing the same thing when you were tykes and you've forgotten all about it. CAVEAT: If you have the slightest, inklingest feeling that your dad will go ballistic, keep it to yourself.

Really, I'm in the no-big-deal camp. Same developmental ages, standing two feet apart, no sexual play even - I think they really were simply comparing dick size the way my kid wants to compare hand sizes with everyone he knows (kid's got huge hands, he's very proud of them.) Making a big deal out of it will only sexualize what wasn't very sexual to begin with.

As for the "not in public" comments, the kid wasn't in public. Being in your own bedroom with the door closed is about as private as it gets.
#24
Old 05-30-2005, 09:46 AM
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Even a Board-certified homophobe like me thinks this is no big deal. WhyNot's advice about talking with your Dad sounds pretty reasonable if you don't think he'd freak out.
#25
Old 05-30-2005, 09:53 AM
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Quote:
Yes I do know that both boys parents especially my Step-Mom would freak out and that is a huge understatement.
Ah, in that case I retract my previous advice to let the parents know. I was assuming that they'd know enough to not even mention it to their son.
#26
Old 05-30-2005, 11:21 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alaska56
The fact that they did not jump or move quickly meant that they are pure evil.

Comparing body parts with another person at a young age is a sexual act.

If you compaire them with someone of the same sex it is gay.

Knowing the size of another boys genitals is gay unless you accidently get a glance in a locker room. Accual comparing is well lets just say very bad.

Gay is bad.

Almost gay is bad.

Both parants should know because that way they can scold him real good and make him shamefull of his body like everyone should be.

I just cant belive that a young boy his age isnt shamefull of himself yet.

Something must be done. because who knows what could happen they could look at each others bodies again.

What a fucking shame.
What's with the sarcasm?
#27
Old 05-30-2005, 01:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhyNot
As for the "not in public" comments, the kid wasn't in public. Being in your own bedroom with the door closed is about as private as it gets.
Kids being babysat don't have any reasonable expectation of privacy. Last time I let 2 boys of approximately that age be together in a room with the door closed, they set that bathroom on fire. (Not one of my proudest moments as a babysitter. Matter of fact, one of my last moments as a babysitter .)

Now, if the kid were alone in bed at night, or alone in the bathroom, he would have a reasonable expectation of privacy. START was supervising these kids, and they knew that.
#28
Old 05-30-2005, 02:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by START
Yeah I thought so, I was doing similar stuff when I was 10 but I didn't want for all his friends to think that whenever I was home alone they could just whip their dicks out.
Nobody else thinks this is hilarious? (I have this problem all the time.)

I second everybody who says "normal, don't say anything unless you'd like to casually mention it to you dad if he's not going to go nuts about it".
#29
Old 05-30-2005, 02:51 PM
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Personally, I would just take bro aside and tell him that it's not appropriate, mom would go ballistic etc, and not to do it again. Then again, it's hard to tell if he'll take it the right way.

Second talking to dad only, if you feel that you must.


[hijack]
Hey START, so what did your dad say about the clothes?
[/hijack]
#30
Old 05-30-2005, 04:10 PM
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A quote from our own mangetout came to mind when I read this:

"The deal is that [$SomethingWeDontLike$] will lead to an increase in [$somethingBad$],
if we don't want our children to do [$SomethingBad$], we must stop other people from
doing [$SomethingWeDontLike$].
Momentarily exposed to [$SomethingWeDontLike$], our children will forget everything
we have spent years teaching them and will inevitably do [$SomethingBad$]."

The above fine argument notwithstanding, I'm in the "don't tell Mom" camp on this one. Tabby_Cat seems to have a fine idea.
#31
Old 05-30-2005, 04:57 PM
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Why tell him not to do it again?

What is not appropriate with this behaviour?

Is the only acceptable way to compair sizes in the locker room with dirvertied sneeky eyes or magazines and internet porn?
#32
Old 05-31-2005, 12:48 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tabby_Cat
[hijack]
Hey START, so what did your dad say about the clothes?
[/hijack]
He said that 5 days a week I will dress the way he wants me to because it's his right as my Father and on Sunday I will show respect to the lord by wearing a suit whether or not I attend church and on Saturday I could wear whatever I wanted oversized or not and that's his final offer take it or leave it. I guess I have to take it.

And I did tell him about the "comparing boners" situation and he just laughed and said something like "atleast he's getting it out of his system...I know guys that did that in College."
#33
Old 05-31-2005, 01:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Diogenes the Cynic
START
2. It's completely normal for boys to do stuff like that. It's really nothing to be concerned about, and there's no reason to tell your parents...especially if its the kind of thing you think they might freak out or get overly dramatic about.
Completely normal? For a gay person yes, perfectly normal. I would not expect heterosexual guys to compare boners with the possible exception of Michael Jackson. Unless there were some pictures of naked ladies in the room I would have to guess the inspiration for this activity was each other.

Of the 2 boys I knew of who displayed this desire, both turned out sincerely gay. I remember them both because at the time I thought it was damn strange behavior. That was at the age of about 9 or 10 years old. I think my exact words were "I don't think so". Should have copyrighted the phrase but what does a 10 year old.

Not sure what I would tell the parents unless the kids start boffing each other. Then it's time to keep em separated until the parents figure out dating rules.
#34
Old 05-31-2005, 04:36 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magiver
Completely normal? For a gay person yes, perfectly normal.
Generalize much?
#35
Old 05-31-2005, 05:15 AM
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[quote]Should I tell?[/u]

1) tell who?
2) tell them what?
#36
Old 05-31-2005, 05:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magiver
Of the 2 boys I knew of who displayed this desire, both turned out sincerely gay. I remember them both because at the time I thought it was damn strange behavior. That was at the age of about 9 or 10 years old. I think my exact words were "I don't think so". Should have copyrighted the phrase but what does a 10 year old.
Well that's settled then.

Oh no, hang on. I also did this with a couple of neighbours when I was about 11 - and there were three of us. Admittedly, only know one now but he isn't gay and neither am I.

I guess that makes 2 gay - 2 hetro and 1 unknown so far.

Does it matter that I also played 'I'll show you mine' with two neighbourhood girls too - but I think I was younger then so by rights, the later experience should have turned me gay.

please note heavy overuse of sarcasm in this post...
#37
Old 05-31-2005, 08:13 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magiver
Of the 2 boys I knew of who displayed this desire, both turned out sincerely gay. I remember them both because at the time I thought it was damn strange behavior. That was at the age of about 9 or 10 years old. I think my exact words were "I don't think so". Should have copyrighted the phrase but what does a 10 year old.

Not sure what I would tell the parents unless the kids start boffing each other. Then it's time to keep em separated until the parents figure out dating rules.
Um, the type of sexual activity that a boy does at such a young age will NOT cause him to become gay. I've done it, I've seen it, I'm as straight as an arrow and the other boys all got married too. So did the girls. Don't forget that girls do these type of things too. I'ts a natural part of growing up. We just want to see if we're the same as everyone else and we can't when everyone else is wearing damn clothes all the time.
#38
Old 05-31-2005, 08:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by START
And I did tell him about the "comparing boners" situation and he just laughed and said something like "atleast he's getting it out of his system...I know guys that did that in College."
Well, that's good then. Not knowing your dad, I would have advised that you say something to your bro along the lines of what Tabby Cat suggested. But since your dad responded appropriately, then I'm glad you told him. At least your ass is covered should the proverbial shit hit the fan later.

And to those of you who are making like this incident of "comparing boners" is a big deal or indicates future sexual preferences--read a psychology book, willya? It is "inappropriate" given our societal norms, but it is certainly normal.
#39
Old 05-31-2005, 09:34 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by START
He said that 5 days a week I will dress the way he wants me to because it's his right as my Father and on Sunday I will show respect to the lord by wearing a suit whether or not I attend church and on Saturday I could wear whatever I wanted oversized or not and that's his final offer take it or leave it. I guess I have to take it.

And I did tell him about the "comparing boners" situation and he just laughed and said something like "atleast he's getting it out of his system...I know guys that did that in College."
[hijack] I hate that baggy style as much as anyone on the planet, but if you handled this the way you say you did, START, I think I'd have let you wear it. I doubt we have a whole lot in common, but I can't help liking you when you act so mature! [/hijack]

And I think the weenie-looking was okay as well.
#40
Old 05-31-2005, 10:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncommon Sense
So did the girls. Don't forget that girls do these type of things too.
I know I did it. (girl here) There are parts on a girl's own body that are hard to see, so we looked at each others'. I think I was about 7 or 8. Also, in high school I wa a t a sleepover that involved massages and comparing boobies (yes, sometimes they do happen). We all ended up straight as far as I know.
#41
Old 02-14-2015, 02:55 PM
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The Biggest Question

so ... who won?
#42
Old 02-14-2015, 04:24 PM
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Originally Posted by ppNbigD View Post
so ... who won?
It was ten years ago, so they're probably grown, married and have jobs.
#43
Old 02-14-2015, 05:51 PM
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The OP hasn't been active in nearly a decade. I think we can close this down.
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