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#1
Old 07-12-1999, 12:45 PM
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My friend stumped me with this one:

When a married man has a woman on the side, she's referred to as his mistress. What is (if there is at all) the gender specific term for a man having an affair with a married woman?

We tossed out everything from "lucky" to "F*ck on the side" to "gigolo" but weren't satisfied with them.

So...any suggestions?
#2
Old 07-12-1999, 12:57 PM
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"Kept Man"
"Personal trainer"
"Boy Toy"
#3
Old 07-12-1999, 12:58 PM
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How 'bout boy toy?
#4
Old 07-12-1999, 02:55 PM
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Women of nobility referred to the male counterpart to a mistress as a "favorite".
#5
Old 07-12-1999, 03:28 PM
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I vote with Nickrz; I think the term is simply "lovers."

-Melin

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#6
Old 07-12-1999, 04:08 PM
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I think the official term is "paramour" but I don't like it as much as mistress because it's easy to misinterpret. I mean it's not as well known that it refers to a married person's lover.
#7
Old 07-12-1999, 08:10 PM
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Lucky bastard?

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Cogito Ergo Vroom
I think therefore I ride fast...
#8
Old 07-12-1999, 08:53 PM
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Consort.

My aunt Mila has one. He's twenty-seven years younger than she is, and right now they're living in Prague. He's a Greek shaygets named Stavros. We all call him Aunt Mila's consort, except my mother's mother, who just calls him "the shaygets."

Aunt Mila has money, because her first husband cleared a bundle importing and exporting. He figured out back in the 70's (or thereabouts) that Sony would be big, bought stock, and the rest is history.


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--Rowan
Shopping is still cheaper than therapy. --my Aunt Franny
#9
Old 07-12-1999, 08:59 PM
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According to Webster's, "consort" means an associate or spouse (though that's not how I always understood the word); but "paramour" is defined as "an illicit lover", which sounds pretty close to what I think you mean.
#10
Old 07-12-1999, 09:36 PM
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I knew, I knew, that reading tawdry historical romances would come in handy some day!

From Merriam-Webster
Main Entry: ci·cis·beo
Pronunciation: "chE-ch&z-'bA-(")O
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural ci·cis·bei /-'bA-"E/
Etymology: Italian
Date: 1718
: LOVER, GALLANT
#11
Old 07-12-1999, 09:38 PM
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Note: in all the romances I read, this word is used for a woman's paramour, when "mistress" would be used for a man's paramour.
#12
Old 07-13-1999, 12:35 AM
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HOW do you pronounce it? I couldn't make heads or tails of that. Great word though, I'm thinking of getting one myself and that will come in very helpful.
#13
Old 07-13-1999, 01:03 AM
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How 'bout "Personal Stud"? or

Recreational Gentleman
Personal Escort




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- A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court-Mark Twain
#14
Old 07-13-1999, 01:06 AM
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Yeah, boy toy certainly works as a slang/vernacular term (as do pool boy and gardener, nyuck, nyuck) but, it seems to me that mistress is pretty much a formal term and that there should be some corresponding term for a male lover out-of-wedlock.
#15
Old 07-13-1999, 01:07 AM
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Well now, wait a moment. A "mistress" as I understand the term is a woman supported by a married man in return for love, understanding, and (ahem) sexual gratification outside of his marriage.

But your question alludes to a man who is simply "having an affair with" a married woman. These are two quite different scenarios. The first of my examples applies only to the male equivalent of "mistress." The other two cross the spectrum.
#16
Old 07-13-1999, 01:14 AM
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Nickrz:

Quote:
a "mistress" as I understand the term is a woman supported by a man in return for...
Well, o.k. then the formal male counterpart to a mistress (by the above definition) would be a gigolo which the crummy Merriam Webster Dictionary here at work defines as "a man supported by a woman for the purposes of blah, blah, blah".

So, this muddies up the water a bit. What then are the formal terms for lovers outside of marriage (other than adulterer and adulteress) who are not supported by his or her paramour?
#17
Old 07-13-1999, 01:32 AM
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"Lover(s)"
#18
Old 07-13-1999, 01:45 AM
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El Mariachi Loco is a translator, and if he sees this, he might help.

In Mexico, we call a male "mistress": Sancho, and Gonzalez.
#19
Old 07-13-1999, 01:48 AM
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The term "boy toy" refers to a woman who has many male LOVERS. When Madonna was young and wore all the rosaries and crosses, she had a belt that said "boy toy", referring to herself. I think when speaking of a man, the term would be "toy boy".

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"Man prefers to believe what he prefers to be true" -Albert Einstein
#20
Old 07-13-1999, 11:33 AM
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Hm. I guess "mister" just won't do.
How about "side boy"?
"My husband's out, so I'm inviting my side boy over."

Your Quadell
#21
Old 07-13-1999, 12:09 PM
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Having been in this unfortunate situation in the past (ie, seeing a man who happened to be married) I can tell you we referred to each other as "lover." I would occasionally joke about being his mistress, which he took great exception to.
#22
Old 07-14-1999, 12:17 AM
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It's pronounced chee-chuz-BAY-oh. Where the u is actually a schwa.
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