Old 03-13-2006, 09:41 PM
Join Date: Jan 2000
Posts: 15,374
My man thong is wrong, yet....

I buy underwear rarely, and when I do it's in quantity. I load up on Fruit of the Loom tighty whiteys on an annual basis. A year ago, I bought the packs that had multi-colors.

This made me feel special. I had black, grey, green white, red, and I could express myself as the occasion warranted with none being the wiser.

A year of jogging and wear and tear later, and my twenty pairs of colorful undies were looking a bit ragged. The running wears a hole in the crotch behind the scrotum.

I guess the benefit would be that if you ever really in a hurry to pinch a loaf, you'd only have one layer that had to be removed. I've never tested that and in fact, don't enjoy the sensation of being exposed. Then of course there is the inevitable "What if you are in a car crash and get taken to the hospital and they see that your underwear has a hole in it?"

Yesterday I resolved to buy new underwear and while the wife and kiddies were at JCPenney shopping for shoes, I looked for underwear.

All they had at JCPenney was Calving Klein, no Jockey's, no Fruit of the Loom, so I ran, under time constraint to the other end of the mall to the Bon Ton.

The Bon Ton has Jockey brand underwear.

I noticed something unusual. I had the normal choice of Small, Medium, Large, Xlarge, but over to the right they had individual sizes.

"Great!" I thought. "I can buy a perfect fit." So I bought five packs of size 32, ran to the register, paid, and made it back to JCPenney in time to pay for my kids's new shoes.

Last night I take a shower and put on a new pair of underwear.

It seems that I have not purchased tighty whities. I bought 20 pair of eurothongs.

You know what I'm talking about, the kind of underwear fat hairy european men wear on the beach. Coldfire probably wears these.

They are just wrong.

They kind of set you up with this big bodacious package up front, instead of decently covering things up like a pair of tighty whiteys.

Instead of being an honest strong cotton, they are this filmy, barely opaque elastic, kind of like pantyhose.

I opened all the packages downstairs so I wouldn't have to deal with the garbage, so I'm stuck with them.

Speaking of garbage, I loaded my garbage into a pair of these with a little trepidation and strutted around the bathroom experimentally.

Hmmmm. It seems there is something about these thongs. They kind of turn you into a fat hairy middle-aged european man, don't they?

Never being one for half-measures I found a wife-beater tshirt, put that in, you know, to get the full effect.

Balding, hairy back, love handles, thong, wife beater tshirt that emphasizes the shoulder hair.....

I kind of really had it going on.

I kind of like it.

I went to sleep.

My wife woke up first, and shook me awake.

"Time to get up."

I stumbled out of bad and scatched my ass on my way to the bathroom.

Unlike any other day, on this day she followed me.

"My my my," she said. "Something you want to tell me about?"

I'm wearing them now.
Old 03-13-2006, 09:48 PM
Join Date: Jan 2000
Posts: 15,374
I have them in Camaro Iroc Black, Mercedes Benz silver, and 350z White.

I'd also like to mention that I feel threatening in them. It's the thong part. It keeps feeling like it's going to slide up my butt crack..... but it never does.

This being on the edge of danger is what makes me feel so threatening.

I'm dangerous, don't mess with me.
Old 03-13-2006, 10:01 PM
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Cyberspace.
Posts: 6,227
<tears streaming>Damn. Just....damn!
Old 03-13-2006, 10:22 PM
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: was Montreal, now MD
Posts: 7,116
I'm open-minded. Really, I am.

But men shouldn't wear panties.

Although, you know, Scylla, if you're happy with your package-enhancing ass-floss man-panties... good for you.
Old 03-13-2006, 10:46 PM
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 13,248
Originally Posted by Scylla
It's the thong part. It keeps feeling like it's going to slide up my butt crack..... but it never does.
Are you wearing the floss over your buttcheek?
Old 03-13-2006, 10:56 PM
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Mommysota
Posts: 7,161
Old 03-14-2006, 12:05 AM
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 2,579

One of my best friends took me to a men's underwear shop one day, because he wanted new underwear for a date with his boyfriend. Oh my. I loved the wall of Calvin Klien boxes. Hardbodied men in underwear. Woo. My friend ended up buying a 25 dollar pair of black boxies (I don't know what they are called - look like 'boy shorts' that girls wear, I call em boxies). I also stumbled across some see through rainbow colored little shorts. Interesting day.

I don't find man thongs hot, but boxer briefs on the right guy....that's where it's at.
Old 03-14-2006, 12:29 AM
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: state of confusion
Posts: 3,652
I am laughing so hard, I am quite literally crying.

Allow me to suggest these for your next Adventures in Undergarments.
Old 03-14-2006, 08:06 AM
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Manchester, PA
Posts: 2,476

Never mind.
Old 03-14-2006, 10:11 AM
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: By the Caloosahatchee
Posts: 11,446
The running wears a hole in the crotch behind the scrotum.
Ouch. What does it do to the underwear?

Get yourself some boxer briefs. You'll never go back to anything else.
Old 03-14-2006, 10:43 AM
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Camberwell
Posts: 143

*wipes half masticated cheese sandwich from the 'pooter screen*

The best Tuesday laugh I've had for ages - thanks Scylla.

My ex (and now best friend in the world) wears ladies undies everyday.

I have always been quite proud about being open-minded, and, well, pride cometh....

When we were first going out he came round for 'fumbles' one night and..

'Ta-Da!!!!' He said as he whipped down his jeans to display his (not small) manhood squuuiiished into the lacey frothy tinyness that were the pants (UK) panties (US) I had been wearing the last time we met.

Oh for a camera. My face went pink/white/pink - then I couldn't hold it and just pished myself laughing. I think it was the pube-fro exploding from the teeny triangle of lace!

We talked and as it turned out having a boyfriend who liked ladies undies was absolute g-e-n-i-u-s! He had a very masculine professional job (he is an Managing Director) and is day-to-day a very 'manly' man - not one of his friends of 35 years had a clue until he told them. He wears mens clothes otherwise and (sadly) loves football, beer, boobies - and not in a over compensating way, just a normal way. Yup, its all normal 'til the trousers come down! Why does he? Because as he says 'I like them, they make me feel a bit naughty and risky - oh and I'm probably a bit gay. Not gay enough not to want to shag you senseless tho'!' (Sex was... sex was... sigh... fabulous. If he is gay I must sleep with more gay men.)

Fair enough really eh?

The absolute upside is - here is a man who not only wants to come underwear shopping with you, but truly understands that spending money on luxurious underwear is a beautiful, beautiful thing and is more than happy to buy you a pile of frou-frou frivolity for no reason other than 'its gorgeous'.

PS This isn't why we split up btw!
Old 03-14-2006, 02:51 PM
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 5,724
What's wrong with thongs? I wear them too, and going straight from boxers to thongs, the hardest thing to get used to was the pants rubbing on the upper thighs... because usually there's underwear there.
Old 03-14-2006, 04:03 PM
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 5,869
I hate to say that what made me chuckle was the dig at Coldfire.
Old 03-14-2006, 04:05 PM
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Cambridge, the Boston one
Posts: 3,068
Ah, another great Scylla story. Keep 'em coming!
Old 03-14-2006, 07:19 PM
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 9,925
Thanks, Scylla, now my co-workers are wondering why I'm convulsing in silent gigglefits. You suck.
Old 03-14-2006, 09:48 PM
Just Lovely and Delicious
Charter Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Northeast Ohio
Posts: 23,740
Originally Posted by phall0106

Never mind.
Yeah, pic!

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