#1
Old 10-19-2007, 03:30 AM
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Best Laxative?

If I wanted a relatively fast working laxative (same day), and one that will...err, get the job done, what kind should I be looking for? Also, do they list the kind of laxative it is on the box, or should I be looking at the brand name?

Last edited by Red Barchetta; 10-19-2007 at 03:34 AM.
#2
Old 10-19-2007, 03:40 AM
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Senna, it's a herbal laxative: http://drugs.com/mtm/senna.html
#3
Old 10-19-2007, 07:37 AM
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If you want the fastest (same day) laxative that will completely clean you out -- you want to get that Fleet phospho-soda. It is the stuff they have you drink pre-op for major surgery. If you drink it, do not stray from your toilet at all. This stuff is not for the weak at heart/stomach/mind. It will clean you out in a day. While it will actually clean you out in less than a day, it continues working pretty much all day Enjoy.
#4
Old 10-19-2007, 08:45 AM
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For some people, candy sweetened with sorbitol and/or mannitol is a very good laxative.
#5
Old 10-19-2007, 08:58 AM
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Best Laxative?

Lately? The SDMB.
#6
Old 10-19-2007, 09:06 AM
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Senna can be really harsh, I don't like to use it unless there's a dire medical need for it. I prefer simple salt water - dissolve a teaspoon of water into a large glass of warm (not hot, but warm) water. Drink it, and be prepared to spend the next couple of hours running to the toilet. Seriously.

It should, of course, be noted that laxative abuse is Not A Good Thing, laxatives are not a safe way to lose weight, and they should not be used often, as they can cause dehydration, electrolyte imbalance and death. If you need a laxative more than once or twice a month, you need to address the cause of that, probably by eating more bulk fiber and increasing your water intake generally, but a visit to the doctor may be in order to rule out any actual bowel problems, not by taking more laxatives.
#7
Old 10-19-2007, 10:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by don't ask
Lately? The SDMB.
baaa zingggggggg. Whats that stuff they give my dad before his colonoscopy that he drinks directly out of that huge jug in his bathrobe and boxers? His dad died of colorectal cancer so we go through this Cadillac of laxatives pre-colonoscopy routine every year as opposed to every 7. Classic
#8
Old 10-19-2007, 10:29 AM
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Really safe and really fast? A product like Golytely. For when your GI tract needs to be really clean, really quick.

It doesn't foster dependence, like many OTC laxatives can. And it's damn hard to abuse.

But it is a prescription medication.

Lobstermobster describes it above.

Last edited by Qadgop the Mercotan; 10-19-2007 at 10:30 AM.
#9
Old 10-19-2007, 10:32 AM
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According to this thread, two week old cheescake is a great laxative.
#10
Old 10-19-2007, 10:54 AM
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I agree with Litoris - the surgeon made me drink that phospho-soda stuff before I had my gallbladder out. The best bet is to get it as cold as possible before trying to drink it. And unfortunately, teh two week old cheesecake is another option. Blrghh.

StG
#11
Old 10-19-2007, 11:01 AM
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My thread about Fleet's Phosphosoda.

To really turn your anus into a rocket-propelled feces launcher, take another dose about four hours after the first.
#12
Old 10-19-2007, 11:30 AM
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Epsom salt laxatives work wonders. They taste horrible, but they are really effective.
#13
Old 10-19-2007, 01:34 PM
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e-coli and salmonella aside, a traditional ex-lax type laxative is enough along with some chamomeil tea (spelling butchered).
#14
Old 10-19-2007, 02:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Red Barchetta
If I wanted a relatively fast working laxative (same day), and one that will...err, get the job done, what kind should I be looking for? Also, do they list the kind of laxative it is on the box, or should I be looking at the brand name?
What's the rush?

I take Metamucil every night at 9:30, and crap at 5:30 the next morning. You could set your watch to it.

OK. As I have posted several times today, I am an aircraft mechanic.

The hydraulic fluid used in virtually all commercial airliners is made by Monsanto and is referred to as 'Skydrol".

If you get Skydrol in your eyes, it sucks. Your eyes instantly close. It's like pepper spray. The one thing that nuetralizes Skydrol instantly is castor oil. I keep some in my toolbox.

Getting hit in the eyes with Skydrol is bad enough, but it's also bad if you ingest it.

I was working on a hydraulic system that I thought had been de-pressureized, but it was not. Skydrol sprayed into my face, and I swallowed some. I drank about 2 ounces of castor oil to nuetralize it.

Oh, my.

About 2 hours later, I got these terrible abdominal cramps, and barely made it to the can, where I crapped my brains out.

2 hours later, same thing.

Half hour later, again. Only now it was mostly liquid.

TMI? Perhaps.

Castor oil. If you think you can handle it.
#15
Old 10-19-2007, 02:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zambini57
What's the rush?
Well, I've been stuck up for a little while now and just want to get this taken care of in one fell swoop. I have no plans to use laxatives routinely (if ever beyond this one time), so I just want to make sure I get something that works.

Thanks for the suggestions so far.
#16
Old 10-19-2007, 03:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Qadgop the Mercotan
Really safe and really fast? A product like Golytely.
Best used after having breakfast at Tiffany's?
#17
Old 10-19-2007, 03:48 PM
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It should be noted that ''faster'' implies a higher risk of experiencing severe abdominal cramping that will make you wish you opted for something just a little slower.

Picture yourself pleading/bargaining with Og that you will never never ever ever ever mix Megalax and Colon Blow cereal together ever again if he just gets you out of this situation alive. Please, Og, PLEASE! Oh god, make it stop!

You wouldn't be surprised to shit out your liver -- the cramping can get that bad if you over laxitize (like that word?).

Last edited by Philster; 10-19-2007 at 03:49 PM.
#18
Old 10-19-2007, 04:16 PM
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Oh, just about any of the local Greek/Middle-eastern restaurants do the trick just fine.
#19
Old 10-19-2007, 04:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Philster
It should be noted that ''faster'' implies a higher risk of experiencing severe abdominal cramping that will make you wish you opted for something just a little slower.

Picture yourself pleading/bargaining with Og that you will never never ever ever ever mix Megalax and Colon Blow cereal together ever again if he just gets you out of this situation alive. Please, Og, PLEASE! Oh god, make it stop!

You wouldn't be surprised to shit out your liver -- the cramping can get that bad if you over laxitize (like that word?).

Ok, now my cow-orkers know I am crazy, I am laughing so hard I snorted, thanks! The truth is, when I had to do my colon cleanse pre-op for my gastric bypass (hey, the doctor was going to be cutting my intestines, I wanted them shit-free, please!), I actually said to my husband "I think I may have just shit my liver out!"

Phospho-soda is the shit. Trust me here.
#20
Old 10-19-2007, 04:26 PM
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One that was previously prescription only, but is now over-the-counter is Miralax. It uses the same polyethylene glycol that's in GoLYTELY, but it isn't the huge volume you'd use in the case of whole bowel irrigation or pre-op/pre-scope cleansing.
#21
Old 10-19-2007, 04:26 PM
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Maybe it's The Gay in me, but I use enemas. It's fun to squirt cold water up your ass, I guess. But it's a real convenience to already be in the bathroom taking a big shot of eyedrops into my brown eye, then already be there when I have to go.
#22
Old 10-19-2007, 04:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhyNot
I prefer simple salt water - dissolve a teaspoon of water into a large glass of warm (not hot, but warm) water.
Homeopathic saltwater?
#23
Old 10-19-2007, 05:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ludovic
Homeopathic saltwater?
Hmm? No, it's not homeopathic at all. It...look, d'ya want me to go all Alton Brown on ya? It's like a brine for your innards. The insides and outsides of your intestines "want" to be at the same salinity. So just like when you brine a turkey, drinking saltwater lets salt sit on your intestinal walls. The water in your system osmosises (what's the verb form of "osmosis"?) over into the salty side of things to dilute all that salt. Then, before it can be reabsorbed, your gut goes, "Holy shit! There's a lot of heavy water in here pressing on my rectum! Out it goes!" and it pushes along everything that's been gumming up the works. So, unlike a brine, the saltwater doesn't have a chance to go back into your system - it just shoots out along with the shit.

It's the most dramatic and effective part of The Master Cleanse. Ignoring all the crap about toxins, the saltwater is very effective at loosening stubborn bowels.

And, y'know, I'm cheap. I have salt and water in my kitchen already.
#24
Old 10-19-2007, 05:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ludovic
Homeopathic saltwater?
Water dissolved in water... Strong stuff!
#25
Old 10-19-2007, 06:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gotpasswords
Water dissolved in water... Strong stuff!
Oy, now I see what he was getting at. Quite right. 1 tsp. of SALT in a big glass of warm water.

I are dum sumtimes.
#26
Old 10-19-2007, 06:32 PM
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Tap beer
#27
Old 10-19-2007, 06:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhyNot
Oy, now I see what he was getting at. Quite right. 1 tsp. of SALT in a big glass of warm water.

I are dum sumtimes.

We'll still keep you, typos and all.
#28
Old 10-19-2007, 06:51 PM
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Taco Bell
#29
Old 10-19-2007, 07:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Least Original User Name Ever
We'll still keep you, typos and all.
I guess she's not all bad. Even if she did try to pass off water in water as a laxative.
#30
Old 10-19-2007, 07:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Antinor01
I guess she's not all bad. Even if she did try to pass off water in water as a laxative.
Well, hey, so did chaoticbear! His method of administration is probably more efficient for the "water laxative", however!
#31
Old 10-20-2007, 11:01 AM
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My wife suggested a teaspoon of mineral oil to get the job done. In her case, milk works just as well (mild lactose intolerance...heh)

Brendon Small
#32
Old 10-20-2007, 02:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brendon_small
My wife suggested a teaspoon of mineral oil to get the job done. In her case, milk works just as well (mild lactose intolerance...heh)
I actually took 1 and 1/2 tablespoons last night of mineral ol...no results yet. hmph. How long does it usually take?

Thanks for the advice
#33
Old 10-20-2007, 06:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cluricaun
Best used after having breakfast at Tiffany's?
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#34
Old 10-20-2007, 08:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Red Barchetta
Well, I've been stuck up for a little while now and just want to get this taken care of in one fell swoop. I have no plans to use laxatives routinely (if ever beyond this one time), so I just want to make sure I get something that works.

Thanks for the suggestions so far.
I suggest getting some of that powered fiber supplement, and using it daily. You very likely can use more fiber in your diet. Adding some probiotics wil help also.

Do not drink warm saltwater. This is an effective emetic (causes you to barf your guts out)
__________________
I am not a real Doctor
#35
Old 10-20-2007, 08:17 PM
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<mod>

I received several emails about the salt water advice and Googled it.

Apparently some people feel that warm salt water does make a good laxative - but these same people seem to be of the natural healing/homeopathic bent.

Take this advice with a - uhhhm....grain of salt, OK?

</mod>
#36
Old 10-20-2007, 08:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Red Barchetta
I actually took 1 and 1/2 tablespoons last night of mineral ol...no results yet. hmph. How long does it usually take?

Thanks for the advice
Hmm. I have no idea. I actually don't even know if it does work. We had a bottle of it from something, but I don't think I've ever taken any, nor she. Honest, I can ask her when she gets home from work, but I don't think it should take nearly very long at all.

Of course, neither of us are doctors, but she usually has little "home-cures" for most everything..

Brendon
#37
Old 10-21-2007, 11:29 AM
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I've found TGI Fridays to be an effective laxative. Particularly the one near my house which has since been torn down.

Warm caffeinated beverages work, too. Coffee or tea. Gets the job done without causing explosive diarrhea.

Maybe find a bookstore or library that has a coffee shop. That should definitely do the trick.
#38
Old 10-21-2007, 12:01 PM
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The title says best while the OP says fastest.

The fastest is an enema.

The best is a complete change in your diet, which means replacing most of the crap you probably eat now with foods that are extremely fiber-rich.

I had a terrifying bout of constipation a while ago that left me in physical agony and crying on the bathroom floor at 4am. The following day I went to the market and didn't put anything in my basket that didn't contain a minimum of 3 grams of fiber. In the following week I ate beans, bean soup, falafel, tabouleh, nuts, seeds, granola, fresh fruit, fresh vegetables, bran bread and cereal, Scottish oat cereal, olive oil, and dried fruit. I didn't restrict my calories or fats, just the kind of food I ate. I also eliminated fake sugar and most real sugar. (The most fiber-dense food you can eat is beans, by the way. Double-fiber bread was only 6 grams, delicious Tuscan bean soup is 14!!)

The results were pretty immediate and pretty amazing. My system got to working properly of course, but I also experienced a shift in my appetite, my overall sense of well-being, and my weight. I was also really enjoying my food and pretty much ALL the digestive upsets I'd experienced off and on persistently for years disappeared.

That was 8 weeks or so ago, I've kept it up, and I've lost 10 pounds and feel much better. I highly recommend it to everyone, especially people over 30, the overweight, and anyone who has a tendency to have any kind of elimination issues.
#39
Old 10-21-2007, 10:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhyNot
Well, hey, so did chaoticbear! His method of administration is probably more efficient for the "water laxative", however!
There are active ingredients in enemas! I just don't know if they actually do anything.
#40
Old 10-22-2007, 01:37 AM
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What about good old prunes ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by WP
Prune juice is richer in fiber than plum juice and is often marketed as a treatment for constipation, and it helps with kidney stones. Prunes have the highest antioxidant power of all fruit, even more than blueberries and raisins.
#41
Old 01-27-2015, 07:38 PM
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For non enema types...

Milk of Magnesia, it is safe, works quick, doesn't taste that nasty and in one day your guts will be clean as a whistle. I tried the baby kind once, I could not make it to the toilet and ended up throwing away my perfectly good, yet smelly air bed. Go with the cherry flavored adult one and have an extra 1/2 of a swig just in case...
#42
Old 01-27-2015, 07:56 PM
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If you've been constipated for eight years, you might want to see a doctor.
#43
Old 01-27-2015, 08:21 PM
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So I guess it's no longer "need answer fast"?
#44
Old 01-27-2015, 08:32 PM
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When my wife's water broke but there were no contractions, it was suggested that she take some mineral oil to help induce labor. I hit every mom and pop pharmacy along Graham Avenue until I finally found one that was open on Sunday morning and carried the stuff. It induced something, but it wasn't labor.
#45
Old 01-27-2015, 10:50 PM
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Have you considered eating a great big salad with lots of veggies on it? Maybe some red beans and rice? Follow either with a couple of large glasses of water. You'll poop.

I take opiates daily and don't need a laxative...because I eat food with fiber in it.

*mutters about what the dickens people are eating these days*

*and get off my lawn!*
#46
Old 01-27-2015, 11:10 PM
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Just take dried apricots--they're mother nature's colon blow.

Or you can try some of my home made onion soup.
#47
Old 01-27-2015, 11:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Qadgop the Mercotan View Post
Really safe and really fast? A product like Golytely. For when your GI tract needs to be really clean, really quick.
For once we agree. And I still want to meet the man who named it just to beat him senseless. Or if he's already been beaten to death, find his grave and piss on it.
#48
Old 01-28-2015, 01:29 AM
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Psyllium fiber capsules work for me.
#49
Old 01-28-2015, 02:46 AM
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Do zombies use laxatives?

#50
Old 01-28-2015, 03:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kopek View Post
For once we agree. And I still want to meet the man who named it just to beat him senseless. Or if he's already been beaten to death, find his grave and piss on it.
Wouldn't it make more sense to poop on it?
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