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#1
Old 12-12-2007, 10:42 AM
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Post your original "Two types of People" Jokes.

Let's make up new Two types of people in the world jokes.

I'll start:

There are 1/2 types of people in the world, those who get fractions and those who don't.

What's yours?
#2
Old 12-12-2007, 10:48 AM
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There are one type of people in the world: Those who understands noun-verb agreement.
#3
Old 12-12-2007, 10:55 AM
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The apparently ubiquitous:
There are 10 types of people, those who understand binary and those who don't.

Last edited by cantara; 12-12-2007 at 10:57 AM.
#4
Old 12-12-2007, 10:59 AM
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There are two types of people in the world. Those who are schizophrenic.
#5
Old 12-12-2007, 11:12 AM
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There are two kinds of people in the world: those who think there are two kinds of people in the world, and those who don't.

Plus some others who aren't sure.
#6
Old 12-12-2007, 11:22 AM
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There are two types of people in the world, and you're not one of them.
#7
Old 12-12-2007, 11:24 AM
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There are three types of people in the world, those who can count and thsoe who can't.

Last edited by Gangster Octopus; 12-12-2007 at 11:25 AM.
#8
Old 12-12-2007, 11:30 AM
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There are two types of people in the world. Those who finish punchlines
#9
Old 12-12-2007, 11:31 AM
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There are two types of people in the world; those who see things through until the end.
#10
Old 12-12-2007, 11:34 AM
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There are two types of people in the word, those without A.D.D. and those -- Hey, look, a firetruck!
#11
Old 12-12-2007, 11:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gangster Octopus
There are three types of people in the world, those who can count and thsoe who can't.
The third type is people who spellcheck.
#12
Old 12-12-2007, 12:00 PM
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There are two types of people in the world, those who are on my side or those who are in my way.
#13
Old 12-12-2007, 12:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cantara
The apparently ubiquitous:
There are 10 types of people, those who understand binary and those who don't.
Funny though. This one really doesn't work if you spell it properly ("ten" spelled out is always ten base ten), OR if you pronounce it properly ("there are one-zero types of people" will just be a duh to those who know binary).

IANA mathematician, just a copyeditor and recreational nitpicker.
#14
Old 12-12-2007, 12:07 PM
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There are two types of people in the world, those who believe that existential reality is a manifestation of some synthetic subjective view onto a transtitive relation among possible worlds that supertranspire onto an objective transcendentalism from which the very fabric of the multiverse arose and those believe it's all just bullshit.
#15
Old 12-12-2007, 12:10 PM
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There are two types of people in the world.

Those who come to a fork in the road and those who take it.
#16
Old 12-12-2007, 12:16 PM
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There are too types of people!

(No there aren't!)
#17
Old 12-12-2007, 12:47 PM
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There are two people who can type in the world. And they are very busy.
#18
Old 12-12-2007, 12:56 PM
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There are two types of people in the world: my second cousin, and everyone else.
#19
Old 12-12-2007, 01:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by glee
There are too types of people!

(No there aren't!)
You probably meant:

Their are too types of people
#20
Old 12-12-2007, 01:14 PM
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There are eight types of people in the world: one lovely lady who is bringing up three very lovely girls, and four men living all together.
#21
Old 12-12-2007, 01:16 PM
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There are two types of people in the world...

Those who finish jokes
#22
Old 12-12-2007, 01:26 PM
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There are two types of people in the world: those who come to a realization, and those who reach orgasm in other ways.

There are two styles of zebras in the world: the black-and-white ones and the white-and-black ones.
#23
Old 12-12-2007, 01:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sapo
You probably meant:

Their are too types of people
#24
Old 12-12-2007, 01:33 PM
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There are two types of people in the world: Those who think the Three Stooges are funny, and those who have vaginas.
#25
Old 12-12-2007, 01:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smiling bandit
I think he was playing on the vocabulary error (too - two). But I think he might have been whooshed.
#26
Old 12-12-2007, 01:42 PM
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There are two types of people in the world,
those who are nice to other people,
and go fuck yourself.
#27
Old 12-12-2007, 01:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberal
I think he was playing on the vocabulary error (too - two). But I think he might have been whooshed.
Well, now I think I have. What did I miss?

(yes, I was just playing on the two-too-to and the there-their-they're thing)
#28
Old 12-12-2007, 01:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sapo
Well, now I think I have. What did I miss?
His disclaimer: (No there aren't!)
#29
Old 12-12-2007, 01:47 PM
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There are two types of two types of people in the world jokes in the world: The type of two types of people in the world jokes which make a conventional point in an unconventional way about the types of people in the world, and the type of two types of people in the world jokes that cleverly violate the construction of the original two types of people in the world-type joke.
#30
Old 12-12-2007, 01:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tengu
There are two types of people in the world. Those who finish punchlines
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bryan Ekers
There are two types of people in the world; those who see things through until the end.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lobsang
There are two types of people in the world...

Those who finish jokes

There are two types of people, those who simul-post and those who just skip to the end of a thread and post without reading it through first.
#31
Old 12-12-2007, 01:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberal
His disclaimer: (No there aren't!)
Oh. Being dense today. Did I mention I have a cold? and there is a storm in town? and and something.
#32
Old 12-12-2007, 01:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leaffan
There are two types of people in the world: Those who think the Three Stooges are funny, and those who have vaginas.
So true.

There are two types of people in the world. Those who think Jews are running the world and the Jews who are running the world.
#33
Old 12-12-2007, 02:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stolichnaya
There are eight types of people in the world: one lovely lady who is bringing up three very lovely girls, and four men living all together.
I don't understand this, but I like it!
#34
Old 12-12-2007, 02:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stolichnaya
There are two types of two types of people in the world jokes in the world: The type of two types of people in the world jokes which make a conventional point in an unconventional way about the types of people in the world, and the type of two types of people in the world jokes that cleverly violate the construction of the original two types of people in the world-type joke.
Nice!

Quote:
Originally Posted by NoCoolUserName
I don't understand this, but I like it!
Brady Bunch.
#35
Old 12-12-2007, 03:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by glee
There are too types of people!

(No there aren't!)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sapo
You probably meant:

Their are too types of people
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sapo
What did I miss?

(yes, I was just playing on the two-too-to and the there-their-they're thing)
Heh heh.

The full conversation between two kids went:

"There are many types of people."

"No, there aren't, silly!"

"There are too types of people!"

Do I win the thread?
#36
Old 12-12-2007, 03:56 PM
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And for all you proof readers out there:

There are two typos of people...
#37
Old 12-12-2007, 04:48 PM
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In Europe, there are two types of people: those who are waiting for their phone to be hooked up, and those who are waiting for a dial tone.
#38
Old 12-12-2007, 04:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chefguy
In Europe, there are two types of people: those who are waiting for their phone to be hooked up, and those who are waiting for a dial tone.


There are two types of Dopers: those who are trying to read when the board times out, and those who are trying to post when the board times out.
#39
Old 12-12-2007, 07:08 PM
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Thair are thoo kynds of peple in the wurld; those hoo kan spell wurds prawperly, and those hoo can't.
#40
Old 12-12-2007, 07:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Der Trihs
Thair are thoo kynds of peple in the wurld; those hoo kan spell wurds prawperly, and those hoo can't.
You mispeled "though's"
#41
Old 12-12-2007, 08:56 PM
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Slight variation for scuba divers:
There are two types of divers in the world: those that pee in their wetsuits and those that lie about peeing in their wetsuits.
#42
Old 12-12-2007, 09:44 PM
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There are two types of people in this world: male and female.


Spoilered for raunchiness:
SPOILER:
With apologies to Richard Jeni:

There are two types of men in this world: those who masturbate and those who have no arms.

There are two types of women in this world: those who masturbate and those who would have you believe it takes that long to shower.
#43
Old 12-12-2007, 09:50 PM
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There are III types of people in this world: those who know Roman numerals and those who don't.
#44
Old 12-12-2007, 11:26 PM
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In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate, yet equally important ... ah hell, I got nothing.

Great thread though. Keep 'em coming.
#45
Old 12-12-2007, 11:35 PM
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There are two types of people in the world:

Type 1

Type B
#46
Old 12-12-2007, 11:50 PM
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There are four types of people in the world: those who know binary, those who don't know binary but find the Three Stooges funny, those who neither know binary nor find the Three Stooges funny but put sugar on their porridge, and those who neither know binary nor find the Three Stooges funny nor put sugar on their porridge.

You have to admit, it's exhaustive and mutually exclusive.
#47
Old 12-13-2007, 12:03 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marley23
There are two kinds of people in the world: those who think there are two kinds of people in the world, and those who don't.

Plus some others who aren't sure.
"There are two kinds of people: Those who say, 'There are two kinds of people . . ., ' and those who don't say! Well, and then there's me."

-- J.R. "Bob" Dobbs
#48
Old 12-13-2007, 12:42 AM
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There are two types of people in the world: Those who like "The Sweater Song" by Weezer, and those who don't.
__________________
"This isn't Wall Street; this is Hell! We have a little something called integrity." --Crowley, Supernatural
#49
Old 12-13-2007, 02:26 AM
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There are two types of people in this world.

Those who like a little mystery.

SPOILER:
And those who need to fucking know what's underneath every damn rock. Now you know which one you are.
#50
Old 12-13-2007, 02:36 AM
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There are two kinds of people in this world.

Those that can't
And those that can.
read between the lines.



.

Last edited by cmyk; 12-13-2007 at 02:39 AM.
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