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#1
Old 12-24-2007, 02:13 AM
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Does sucking your own dick make you gay?

Will Ferrel had a skit about a guy who took yoga for seven years just so he could suck himself off: when accused of being gay, he pulled his head out of his pants and said, "you masturbate with your own hand, but that doesn't make you gay."

I think it is a bit gayer to suck yourself off, "own hand" logic notwithstanding. I mean, I use my hand to scratch myself absentmindedly and do all sorts of things I wouldn't do with my tongue. I pick up food off the floor that I certainly wouldn't eat. So trying to give yourself a blowjob seems to go an extra mile, it's something you have to really want. There's a lot more finesse involved, really.
#2
Old 12-24-2007, 02:31 AM
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Do it for a few years and get back to us.
#3
Old 12-24-2007, 02:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ForumBot
Will Ferrel had a skit about a guy who took yoga for seven years just so he could suck himself off: when accused of being gay, he pulled his head out of his pants and said, "you masturbate with your own hand, but that doesn't make you gay."

I think it is a bit gayer to suck yourself off, "own hand" logic notwithstanding. I mean, I use my hand to scratch myself absentmindedly and do all sorts of things I wouldn't do with my tongue. I pick up food off the floor that I certainly wouldn't eat. So trying to give yourself a blowjob seems to go an extra mile, it's something you have to really want. There's a lot more finesse involved, really.
If I shove a dildo up my ass while masturbating does that make me gay?

I'm asking, does it?!?!
#4
Old 12-24-2007, 02:41 AM
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Serious answer: Gayness is being attracted to people of the same sex as you. What you do with your own body is irrelevant.
#5
Old 12-24-2007, 03:10 AM
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If you like to do it while appreciating your own physique in the mirror then maybe, but otherwise no.
#6
Old 12-24-2007, 03:46 AM
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I remember that sketch.

I've seen contortionists do some pretty amazing positions, including ones that would seem to allow it but of course I haven't seen *that*.
Still, my curiosity has been poked. Can anyone verify that it can be done?

(you all know you're wondering so don't bother feigning innocence)
#7
Old 12-24-2007, 04:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sockmunkey
I remember that sketch.

I've seen contortionists do some pretty amazing positions, including ones that would seem to allow it but of course I haven't seen *that*.
Still, my curiosity has been poked. Can anyone verify that it can be done?

(you all know you're wondering so don't bother feigning innocence)
When I was 13 or so I had a porn magazine that had an ad for a movie with a guy doing that. My curiosity was peaked enough to at least look at the pictures. The guy was bigger than normal and was in a position that looked very uncomfortable but the pictures looked real enough. I don't imagine it'd be too hard to find videos/pictures of it on the net. Heck I imagine there'll be whole fetish sites with just that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sage Rat
If you like to do it while appreciating your own physique in the mirror then maybe, but otherwise no.
Not that I've done this but I don't see how that'd make you anything but a narcissist. Now if you admired your own body while imagining it belonged to some hot guy at the office......well that would be pretty gay.
#8
Old 12-24-2007, 04:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sockmunkey
but of course I haven't seen *that*.
And now I know what Meatloaf was singing about.
#9
Old 12-24-2007, 04:35 AM
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Is this thread the very definition of a Mass Debate?
#10
Old 12-24-2007, 05:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1920s Style "Death Ray"
Serious answer: Gayness is being attracted to people of the same sex as you. What you do with your own body is irrelevant.
As long as you don't start craving dicks in general.
#11
Old 12-24-2007, 05:33 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Darkhold
My curiosity was peaked enough to at least look at the pictures.
"piqued".

I've seen that clip. It certainly can be done. But it sure doesn't look comfortable enough to be worth it.
#12
Old 12-24-2007, 05:34 AM
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I would hazard a guess that whatever pleasure you get is offset by the discomfort of the contortion, rather like eating a sundae while getting a bikini wax.
#13
Old 12-24-2007, 11:02 AM
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If you can find an old porno called Lips, you can see Ron Jeremy sucking himself. So, yes, it can be done. It's a pretty good flick, even without that unusual scene. I haven't seen any other examples, but I haven't looked for them. If pudgy Ron Jeremy could do it, surely some leaner, younger men are able to tongue their own twangers.
#14
Old 12-24-2007, 11:24 AM
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I bit the bullet.

http:// en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Auto_fellatio

Very NSFW
#15
Old 12-24-2007, 11:56 AM
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Of course it's possible. Some guys are packing 12+ inches. Put a ruler in your lap and see if you can bite the tip.

I've seen a video of a guy fucking his own ass. But he pulls out before he cums, because coming in your own ass is gay.
#16
Old 12-24-2007, 02:43 PM
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The movie Shortbus features an auto-fellatio scene--didn't look comfy but it was definitely real.

Being gay is a state of mind, having nothing to do with what you do or don't do physically; there are people who identify as gay who have never had sex with another person of any gender. Anything you do by yourself, with yourself is just creative masturbation--not sex.
#17
Old 12-24-2007, 03:24 PM
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There are definitely men in the world who can suck themselves off. Some just barely and some with the ability to deep throat themselves. (I've seen one video where the guy gave himself a blowjob as well as any girl has ever given me.)

I'll admit, I've tried to suck myself. Even with my tongue stretched out I'm still short by two inches or so. Nevertheless, if I could, I'd definitely be blowing myself from time to time. The only problem I would have with it is that you'd be in a little pain from contorting yourself to that position and that'd detract from the overall experience. If you could eliminate the body contortion, I might marry myself.
#18
Old 12-24-2007, 03:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bryan Ekers
I would hazard a guess that whatever pleasure you get is offset by the discomfort of the contortion, rather like eating a sundae while getting a bikini wax.
Which brings up yet another query.

Does getting a bikini wax make you gay?

Just covering all bases to make sure no one gets The Gay
#19
Old 12-24-2007, 05:44 PM
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Sucking your own dick doesn't make you gay, but I'd definitely question swallowing.
#20
Old 12-24-2007, 06:26 PM
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From time to time I've sniffed my own underwear. I'm not gay.
#21
Old 12-24-2007, 06:35 PM
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Ron Jeremy mentions auto-fellatio in his autobiography. He can do it, but refuses to cum in his own mouth.
#22
Old 12-24-2007, 07:18 PM
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Quote:
Does sucking your own dick make you gay?
No, it makes you Plastic Man.
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#23
Old 12-24-2007, 07:49 PM
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It is fortunate that the vast majority of men will never achieve this difficult feat. Can you imagine the repercussions? The paradigms which hold up entire industries would collapse. The GDP would nosedive. Streets would be half empty, filled only with content, single women going about their daily routine.
#24
Old 12-24-2007, 09:21 PM
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Only if biting your own fingernails makes you a cannibal.
#25
Old 12-24-2007, 09:41 PM
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Quote:
Does sucking your own dick make you gay?
Gosh. Now that you mention it, that could explain me.
#26
Old 12-24-2007, 10:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by silenus
Ron Jeremy mentions auto-fellatio in his autobiography. He can do it, but refuses to cum in his own mouth.
... New and very bad visual image of why they call him the Hedgehog.
#27
Old 12-25-2007, 12:49 AM
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Of course it can be done. Here's a fairly well-known guy who's made a small industry out of his talent. Click the yellow link in the center of the page.

Last edited by tomndebb; 12-26-2007 at 05:52 PM. Reason: Mod Note: Link does not violate SDMB "two click" rule. First page is all text and degree of NSFW will depend on your company rules.
#28
Old 12-25-2007, 02:21 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by E-Sabbath
... New and very bad visual image of why they call him the Hedgehog.
Good god...Terry Pratchett would kill me for what I'm doing to his song in my head...
#29
Old 12-26-2007, 03:36 AM
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There are special receptors in your mouth which, when activated by signals secreted from your penis will cause the switch to flip and you'll catch the Gay. Recent research seems to implicate a similar mechanism in people born with the Gay, whereby their developing penis and tongue accidentally come into contact causing a signaling cascade resulting in the terrible affliction as well. We're investigating whether such babies pay inordinate amounts of attention to Bravo.


Sorry.
#30
Old 12-26-2007, 09:47 AM
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This is a Great Debate? A Master Debate, maybe.
#31
Old 12-26-2007, 09:56 AM
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I've done it. I'm not gay.

It is possible if you are flexible and well hung. It is also extremely uncomfortable, enough so that it isn't really an option for usual masturbatory activities. Now, if you are one of those freaks from the Insane c**ck bros videos, who happen to be around 14 in long, it might be easier of course.
#32
Old 12-26-2007, 10:14 AM
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Now, wait a sec. Aren't we being a little hasty here?

If you're sucking your own cock because you like the feel of lips around your cock, you're probably not gay (but you might be.)

If you're sucking your own cock because you like the feel of cock in your mouth...that might just signal something of the non-hetero about you.
#33
Old 12-26-2007, 10:19 AM
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What if you're not gay but you'd do it if you could? Does that make you a gay wannabe?
#34
Old 12-26-2007, 11:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lumpy
Sucking your own dick doesn't make you gay, but I'd definitely question swallowing.


What if you gave yourself a pearl necklace?

That sounds gayer.
#35
Old 12-26-2007, 12:05 PM
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I think it depends, at least somewhat, if you are wearing a little black cocktail dress when you recieve said pearls. If you are offering them to yourselve as a blandishment, then you regard yourself as a slut with exquisite taste (or maybe not, don't have my universal translator handy, so what is "slut" in gayish?). After the fact, of course, it would be considered payment for services rendered, you ho.
#36
Old 12-26-2007, 01:14 PM
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Anyone who has done this is guilty of incest, pretty much by definition.

There's no closer relation to you than yourself.
#37
Old 12-26-2007, 01:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elucidator
I think it depends, at least somewhat, if you are wearing a little black cocktail dress when you recieve said pearls. If you are offering them to yourselve as a blandishment, then you regard yourself as a slut with exquisite taste (or maybe not, don't have my universal translator handy, so what is "slut" in gayish?). After the fact, of course, it would be considered payment for services rendered, you ho.
*considers*

That's not -

*reconsiders*

*adusts Sarcasmometer*

*consults Whooshmetron*

*remains puzzled due to ambiguous reads*

Oh, what the hell.

*Links to urban dictionary's entry for "pearl necklace".*
#38
Old 12-26-2007, 01:53 PM
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I, for one, welcome our new Incest Overlords....
#39
Old 12-26-2007, 02:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elucidator
I think it depends, at least somewhat, if you are wearing a little black cocktail dress when you recieve said pearls. If you are offering them to yourselve as a blandishment, then you regard yourself as a slut with exquisite taste (or maybe not, don't have my universal translator handy, so what is "slut" in gayish?). After the fact, of course, it would be considered payment for services rendered, you ho.
Andy Dick?
#40
Old 12-26-2007, 02:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marshmallow
It is fortunate that the vast majority of men will never achieve this difficult feat. Can you imagine the repercussions? The paradigms which hold up entire industries would collapse. The GDP would nosedive. Streets would be half empty, filled only with content, single women going about their daily routine.
George Carlin, watching his dog lick his own balls: "If I could do that, I'd never have to leave the house."
#41
Old 12-26-2007, 05:16 PM
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To paraphrase a post from a similar thread- only if you're watching figure skating while doing it.
#42
Old 12-26-2007, 05:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lumpy
Sucking your own dick doesn't make you gay, but I'd definitely question swallowing.
I would nonetheless be gravely disappointed if I spent months---or years---acquiring the flexibility required to complete the act, only to discover that I was a spitter.
#43
Old 12-26-2007, 05:27 PM
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In The Time Travellers Wife, the time travelling character refers to something happening with himself in his teens.

While I don't recall the exact statement, I seem to recall it being something along the lines of " we were two 15 year old males who had not quite gotten around to girls yet. the solution was obvious."

That particular character is not gay, and in fact seemed to view it as sort of an extreme masturbation.

Last edited by Tristan; 12-26-2007 at 05:27 PM. Reason: fixed coding
#44
Old 12-26-2007, 10:00 PM
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OK, but what if he goes back and blows his grandfather? Wouldn't that rip the fabric of the space-time comtinuum?
#45
Old 12-26-2007, 10:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elucidator
OK, but what if he goes back and blows his grandfather? Wouldn't that rip the fabric of the space-time comtinuum?
Only if it's really good.
#46
Old 12-26-2007, 10:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ForumBot
Does sucking your own dick make you gay?
I don't have the ability to do it, but I would imagine that it would make a person very gay.














Oh, you meant homosexual. No, then.
#47
Old 12-26-2007, 11:27 PM
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Meh. Show me a woman who can go down on herself and then I'll be impressed.

On a more serious note, I don't see how auto-fellatio is different from masturbation. It might mean you are more inclined towards the middle of the Kinsey scale, I suppose, but being turned on by yourself doesn't necessarily mean you're going to be turned on by other people of the same gender as yours.
#48
Old 12-27-2007, 06:08 AM
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Went to youtube and did a search on "contortionist".

Many results.

Yes it is possible for some women to do that.

I feel so redundant. All I have to offer now is my ability to open jars.
#49
Old 12-27-2007, 06:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sockmunkey
I feel so redundant. All I have to offer now is my ability to open jars.
I've been to Thailand. There are certain ladies there who can do that very easily
#50
Old 12-27-2007, 08:26 AM
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Crap.
I guess all I can do now is to wait for mass-produced fembots.

(sans the assasination sub-routine of course)
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