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#1
Old 12-04-2009, 12:36 PM
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So what's your porn name (pet + street formula)?

For those not familiar with the legend, some porn stars derive their names from a system:

First name: the name of the first pet you ever had

Surname: the name of the first street you lived on

I honestly have no idea if any porn star ever actually used this, but it's somewhere between an urban legend and a tradition.

Obviously you have to make some adjustments; if I went with the above my porn name would be

War Eagle Rural Route One

which doesn't really work, so I go with the first pet who had a male/human name and the first street that could conceivably be a surname, which would make me

Dudley Calmar

What would yours be?
#2
Old 12-04-2009, 12:38 PM
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Burgundy Whitaker.

I knew a guy who had a dog Buster and grew up on Cherry Lane. Best porn name ever.
#3
Old 12-04-2009, 12:40 PM
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Chris Tippecanoe

I'm too white to be able to pass as a Native American porn star (Shut up.)
#4
Old 12-04-2009, 12:41 PM
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Pepper Nitz. I used to associate the Nitz part with baby lice, but then a poster pointed out to me that the German Nitz is pronounced "nights", so that's way better.
#5
Old 12-04-2009, 12:45 PM
tdn tdn is offline
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Snooky Douglas
#6
Old 12-04-2009, 12:46 PM
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Brownie Holbrook

Gee that sounds pretty good!
#7
Old 12-04-2009, 12:47 PM
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Eekm Loma Verde.

I don't think the system works very well.
#8
Old 12-04-2009, 12:48 PM
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Smoky Orchard, which sounds more like a bee-keeping service than a porn star.

If I went with a later street, I could be Smoky Beechwood, which sounds more like a barbecue sauce. That's OK, there isn't much of a market for bald middle-aged porn stars under any name.
#9
Old 12-04-2009, 12:48 PM
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Bubbles Stratton. Not so good since I'm a guy.
#10
Old 12-04-2009, 12:49 PM
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Wiggles Street

Techincally Wiggles East 77th Street, but that's a little weird.

Last edited by TheFaerie; 12-04-2009 at 12:51 PM. Reason: Clarification
#11
Old 12-04-2009, 12:50 PM
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Candy Frontier. Which rocks. If I were a chick.

Now if I use current pet/current street, I get her agent: Morty Franklin.
#12
Old 12-04-2009, 12:51 PM
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Brandy Cherry
#13
Old 12-04-2009, 12:51 PM
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Jasper Cherry really doesn't sound good, but if I take my gecko's name, who is my current pet, it makes:

Picante Cherry,

which just about makes me fall over laughing. Spicy Cherry! Hee hee!
#14
Old 12-04-2009, 12:51 PM
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Alfie Acreman. I'd have a bit part in a P.G. Wodehouse-themed porn, I guess.
#15
Old 12-04-2009, 12:54 PM
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Bandit Walnut.

Bandit isn't bad, but it needs a better surname. Unfortunately, the next street I lived on was 253rd St, then 254th Pl. My streets are letting me down.
#16
Old 12-04-2009, 12:55 PM
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Link Styvenson.

I'm more interested in your pet however. War Eagle? He must of rocked!
#17
Old 12-04-2009, 12:55 PM
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Skeeter Rock Springs.
I don't even know what to think about this person.
#18
Old 12-04-2009, 12:56 PM
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Snoopy Clay.
#19
Old 12-04-2009, 12:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Anaamika View Post
Picante Cherry,

which just about makes me fall over laughing. Spicy Cherry! Hee hee!
Actually if you flip it- Cherry Picante- it sounds really great for an adult star.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Freddy the Pig View Post
Smoky Orchard, which sounds more like a bee-keeping service than a porn star.
Sounds like something an old guy with a Maine accent (ala Fred Gwynne in Pet Semetary) would advertise: "Heah at Smoky Orchard, sometimes bread is bettah, ayap."

Quote:
Originally Posted by runner pat View Post
Eekm Loma Verde.
Curiosity compels me to ask: how do you pronounce Eekm and what kind of pet was s/he?

Last edited by Sampiro; 12-04-2009 at 01:02 PM.
#20
Old 12-04-2009, 01:00 PM
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Shalto Law - Don't mess with me!
#21
Old 12-04-2009, 01:01 PM
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Location: da UP, eh
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Samantha West. Sounds more like a pulp fiction lady detective than a porn star.
#22
Old 12-04-2009, 01:02 PM
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Oliver Candlestick

Which would be perfect...if I were a dude.
#23
Old 12-04-2009, 01:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack Batty View Post
Candy Frontier. Which rocks. If I were a chick.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Girl Next Door View Post
Oliver Candlestick

Which would be perfect...if I were a dude.
You can be Candy, and I'll be Oliver. Problem solved.
#24
Old 12-04-2009, 01:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sampiro View Post

Curiosity compels me to ask: how do you pronounce Eekm and what kind of pet was s/he?
It was a pet rat, means EEK A MOUSE! Pronounced just as it's spelled, eek-mm.
#25
Old 12-04-2009, 01:09 PM
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Going by female names, I'd be Mystery... Mystery No-Lastname, my first street is too boring.
#26
Old 12-04-2009, 01:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheFaerie View Post
Wiggles Street

Techincally Wiggles East 77th Street, but that's a little weird.
Yeah, I'm Chipper East 88th Street.
#27
Old 12-04-2009, 01:13 PM
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Nipper Wilson.
#28
Old 12-04-2009, 01:14 PM
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Snickers Naomi
#29
Old 12-04-2009, 01:14 PM
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Mitzi Sarazen here. Which really does sound like a porn name, sort of. It's better than using the name of the next pet, which would make it:

Barley Sarazen. Pretty sexy, huh?
#30
Old 12-04-2009, 01:15 PM
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First pet/first house: Flicka Drake
Later pet/second house: Bruno Randall
#31
Old 12-04-2009, 01:33 PM
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Well, my dog's registered AKC name was Princess Juliet of Midvale (Midvale being the street we lived on), so I'll tweak that a little: Jules Midvale
#32
Old 12-04-2009, 01:36 PM
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Morton Forest.

The funny thing is, the dog was named after Morton Kelsey, who was an Episcopal minister who was rather well known in religious circles - and also my mom's best friend's father.
#33
Old 12-04-2009, 01:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sampiro View Post
First name: the name of the first pet you ever had
Surname: the name of the first street you lived on
Well I've lived mostly on numbered streets and grew up without any pets, so this wouldn't work very well. Still, when I was 26 I got myself a pet, two cats that I named Sylvester and Figaro, and for the first 5 years of my life I lived on Sheridan Ave. in the South Bronx, so I guess that'd make me "Sylvester Sheridan" (sounds better than "Figaro Sheridan").

Later on I lived for 3 years on Remsen St. in Brooklyn, and "Figaro Remsen" has a certain ring to it.

When I was 28 I lived I lived on Park Ave. in Baltimore for one year (alas, very different from living on Park Avenue in Manhattan, unless you count going farther north than 96th St. anyway), and Figaro Park sounds like the best option of all.

Last edited by robardin; 12-04-2009 at 01:45 PM.
#34
Old 12-04-2009, 01:50 PM
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Princess Penelope Ann Pit-stop Fauntleroy James White Boulevard
#35
Old 12-04-2009, 01:51 PM
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I love mine - Diamond La Riviera.
#36
Old 12-04-2009, 01:51 PM
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Hammy Deas.
#37
Old 12-04-2009, 01:52 PM
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Charlie 18th Avenue doesn't work so well.

Molly Dobbs is the best I can come up with.
#38
Old 12-04-2009, 01:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack Batty View Post
You can be Candy, and I'll be Oliver. Problem solved.
I don't know, I think Jack Batty is a pretty good name already.
#39
Old 12-04-2009, 01:54 PM
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This is how my wife, Pepper Mill, got her SDMB name.




I come out as Fluffy Colfax, about which the less said the better. Actually, I don't remember Fluffy very well. I'd more likely be Laddie Colfax, which still doesn't sound very porn-ish. If you went with the first pet I really had, I'd be Tiger Colfax, which is a little better.
#40
Old 12-04-2009, 01:57 PM
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Tabitha Jackson.

Not too bad ... if I was a woman.
#41
Old 12-04-2009, 02:01 PM
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Doc Tamarack
#42
Old 12-04-2009, 02:04 PM
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Zoomer Avenue. Or Zoomer 6th Avenue. Either way - not so good.
#43
Old 12-04-2009, 02:04 PM
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Following the formula, Penny Ninth, but we did move to Webster and took Penny with us, so Penny Webster. Our next dog was Duchess, and could make it Duchess Woodrow.
#44
Old 12-04-2009, 02:05 PM
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Boopie Camelback


I only do clown porn.
#45
Old 12-04-2009, 02:06 PM
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Zeke Irwin. Sounds like I'm the Croc Hunter of the Ozarks.
#46
Old 12-04-2009, 02:10 PM
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Well, going with first pet/first street, I get Muffet Stonegate, which um...

Later pet works petter: Cocoa San Andres. Or, if I were a guy, Apollo San Andres. Sounds exotic!
#47
Old 12-04-2009, 02:11 PM
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Hmmm.

Pud Leighton. Not bad in a sexually-nonspecific sort of way. Pud was our cat when I was little; he was named for the noise his front feet made hitting the floor as he jumped down from something.

A later cat maybe. Roumey Dufferin. My sister's cat when I lived on Dufferin St.

Then there was my cat J. P., which leads to the name Jean-Pierre Ribblesdale. Not bad.
#48
Old 12-04-2009, 02:12 PM
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Baby Clinton! I like it!

I tried it with my current pet and street, and I like that too. Tokyo Alexander.
#49
Old 12-04-2009, 02:15 PM
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Who the hell remembers the name of their first pet? There were pets in my house before I was born.

So anyway, I'm going with the first pet I owned as an adult.

Romeo Sunburst.
#50
Old 12-04-2009, 02:15 PM
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With my current pet it's Budgie Beaver.
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