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#1
Old 02-02-2010, 06:58 AM
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Is there a worse strip tease than Salma Hayek in From Dusk til Dawn?

From Dusk til has been playing on cable lately, and mr. singular and I are always amazed that the sexy Salma does such a half-assed strip tease dance. I mean, the writhing around with the snake is nice but then she doesn't do anything. In a bar as rough as the one they've portrayed in this movie, there would be louts bellowing "Show us your tits" etc., etc, and expecting her to behave the way the other dancers do. And yet, at the conclusion of her listless "dance", the entire bar bursts into ecstatic applause. What are we missing here?

Last edited by singular1; 02-02-2010 at 07:02 AM. Reason: added link for the obligatory "I'll be in my bunk" gang
#2
Old 02-02-2010, 07:06 AM
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Not as bad as Jessica Alba in Sin City. Worst example of gratuitous non nudity ever.
#3
Old 02-02-2010, 07:30 AM
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Dude. It's Salma Hayak. You'll watch the no-nudity strip-tease, and *like* it!

/grumbles that in his day, all they had were grainy black-and-white photographs of Susan B. Anthony.
#4
Old 02-02-2010, 07:48 AM
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about as exciting as watching Friedrich Hayek strip to his scivvies.
#5
Old 02-02-2010, 08:28 AM
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I'm sure there's a trope for this. Maybe. But I've seen it mentioned in other movie reviews how when there's a big name actress in a strip club scene, the whole affair ends up completely ridiculous and unrealistic, because there's no way she's doing a real strip.
#6
Old 02-02-2010, 08:34 AM
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Had not seen it until now, and that was one of the most un-sexy things I have seen. When you can tell it is choreographed, it takes all the fun out of it.
#7
Old 02-02-2010, 08:38 AM
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Originally Posted by Ichini Sanshigo View Post
I'm sure there's a trope for this. Maybe. But I've seen it mentioned in other movie reviews how when there's a big name actress in a strip club scene, the whole affair ends up completely ridiculous and unrealistic, because there's no way she's doing a real strip.
The closest entry I can find quickly at TV tropes appears to be Bikini Bar Jessica Alba in 'Sin City' is referenced, but not SH/DtD - yet.
#8
Old 02-02-2010, 08:44 AM
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Originally Posted by Mr. Excellent View Post
Dude. It's Salma Hayak. You'll watch the no-nudity strip-tease, and *like* it!
Dude. I'm not a dude. But I can still appreciate a good strip tease. This ain't it.
#9
Old 02-02-2010, 08:51 AM
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I t doesn't look like it can be classified as a strip-tease at all, unless you consider removing a snake and a feathered headress as stripping. Shouldn't a strip-tease start with more clothes?
#10
Old 02-02-2010, 08:56 AM
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Originally Posted by kittenblue View Post
I t doesn't look like it can be classified as a strip-tease at all, unless you consider removing a snake and a feathered headress as stripping. Shouldn't a strip-tease start with more clothes?
It doesn't have to start with more clothes but it SHOULD end with partial nudity. And the ass doesn't count since most strippers wear thongs.
#11
Old 02-02-2010, 09:03 AM
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Originally Posted by singular1 View Post
From Dusk til has been playing on cable lately, and mr. singular and I are always amazed that the sexy Salma does such a half-assed strip tease dance. I mean, the writhing around with the snake is nice but then she doesn't do anything. In a bar as rough as the one they've portrayed in this movie, there would be louts bellowing "Show us your tits" etc., etc, and expecting her to behave the way the other dancers do. And yet, at the conclusion of her listless "dance", the entire bar bursts into ecstatic applause. What are we missing here?
The audience behavior was a respect/fear/mesmerization thing, in my opinion.

Hayek's character was not your standard, run-of-the-mill stripper. Her name was Satanico Pandemonium, for cryin' out loud. She was a vampire princess! And she wore a python! How much more badass do you want?

I wouldn't have been yelling "Show us your tits!" either.

Besides, she was plenty mesmerizing as it was. Until today I've never heard anyone speak of that scene with anything less than awestruck lust.

Last edited by Starving Artist; 02-02-2010 at 09:04 AM.
#12
Old 02-02-2010, 09:41 AM
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Originally Posted by singular1 View Post
Dude. I'm not a dude. But I can still appreciate a good strip tease. This ain't it.
Agreed. Selma in DtD and Jessica Alba in Sin City, both left me feeling... meh.

Compare this to Natalie Portman in Closer, for a scene which is actually charged with sexual energy. While the audience doesn't see much more than Selma showed us, Clive Owen sure got a nice view. And the whole thing felt far more real.
#13
Old 02-02-2010, 09:50 AM
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Originally Posted by Starving Artist View Post
Besides, she was plenty mesmerizing as it was. Until today I've never heard anyone speak of that scene with anything less than awestruck lust.
Hell yeah. I'm an old lady and I've always thought it was very sexy. But I've never thought of it as a strip tease. She was supposed to show more than those incredible legs? Not needed.
#14
Old 02-02-2010, 09:58 AM
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The really disappointing part was the Salma didn't get her kit off in a movie until Frida, where she played a unibrowed gargoyle. Terminally non-sexy.

Last edited by silenus; 02-02-2010 at 09:59 AM. Reason: We capitalize on this board, bucko.
#15
Old 02-02-2010, 10:17 AM
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Man, that was some boring stuff. The snake had better moves, and sticking her foot in Tarantino's mouth (after walking across a stage and a table with beer, food, tobacco ash and drool on it) was just gross, as was spitting beer into his mouth. I shut it off before the end.
#16
Old 02-02-2010, 10:41 AM
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I love the soundtrack though - "In the Dark" by Tito and the Tarantula is a great song for that kind of thing.

I remember the scene fondly, only b/c it freaked me out - I thought I was just watching some odd Quentin T movie up until that point, and had no idea vampires were involved until she transformed into one.
#17
Old 02-02-2010, 10:58 AM
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I reckon Lindsay Lohan's lazy/stoned non-striptease at the beginning of I Know Who Killed Me gives Salma's a run for the money.
#18
Old 02-02-2010, 11:02 AM
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Quote:
The really disappointing part was the Salma didn't get her kit off in a movie until Frida, where she played a unibrowed gargoyle. Terminally non-sexy.
No, Hayek had already done nude scenes before making From Dusk til Dawn - she was nude in Desperado the year before.
#19
Old 02-02-2010, 11:06 AM
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Other examples of non-nude stripping by the lead actress would be Jennifer Beals in Flashdance, Rosario Dawson in Rent, and Lindsay Lohan in I Know Who Killed Me.

Lindsay Lohan, for God's sake. She take her clothes off on public streets.
#20
Old 02-02-2010, 11:10 AM
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Originally Posted by joemama24_98 View Post
I love the soundtrack though...
Yeah, there's a lot of great talent at work on that album, most of it previously unheard of. Apart from the two score pieces I love every song, and even after thirteen years or so I still find myself listening to it several times a month (on repeat, no less ). Absolutely one of my favorite albums.
#21
Old 02-02-2010, 11:10 AM
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Another strange one was Grace Jones in Vamp. Like Hayek, she was playing a vampire stripper. She did appear topless but it was still unrealisitc as hell because we were supposed to believe that in a club full of regular strippers, Grace Jones dressed up like Ziggy Stardust was the most popular dancer.
#22
Old 02-02-2010, 11:26 AM
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I have the winner.

How about the one from the Planet of the Apes remake. The older orangutan councilman's chimpanzee trophy wife doing a dance with the veil as she starts to grunt and gyrate to the delight of her ape husband.

Last edited by Icerigger; 02-02-2010 at 11:28 AM.
#23
Old 02-02-2010, 11:33 AM
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Originally Posted by Little Nemo View Post
Other examples of non-nude stripping by the lead actress would be Jennifer Beals in Flashdance, Rosario Dawson in Rent, and Lindsay Lohan in I Know Who Killed Me.

Lindsay Lohan, for God's sake. She take her clothes off on public streets.
What about Vivica A. Fox in "Independence Day"?

Early in the movie, Will Smith is bummed that NASA won't let him be an astronaut because his girlfriend is a stripper.

All he'd have to do take the NASA director to the club, point to her on stage in her swimsuit, and say, "You call THAT stripping???"

Last edited by astorian; 02-02-2010 at 11:36 AM.
#24
Old 02-02-2010, 11:33 AM
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Well, I thought Salma was pretty hot in that scene.
#25
Old 02-02-2010, 11:45 AM
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I nominate pretty much anything Elizabeth Berkley did in Showgirls. Especially the lap dance that consisted of repeatedly ramming her crotch into Kyle MacLachlan's chest. No amount of nudity could make those scenes sexy.
#26
Old 02-02-2010, 12:01 PM
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Originally Posted by astorian View Post
What about Vivica A. Fox in "Independence Day"?

Early in the movie, Will Smith is bummed that NASA won't let him be an astronaut because his girlfriend is a stripper.

All he'd have to do take the NASA director to the club, point to her on stage in her swimsuit, and say, "You call THAT stripping???"
She stopped in the middle of stripping because all the guys were watching the TV covering the alien invasion. Presumably, a regular night would have seen her doing the whole show.
#27
Old 02-02-2010, 12:06 PM
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Another vote for that being an extremely hot scene. The tequila pouring down her leg was genius.
#28
Old 02-02-2010, 12:07 PM
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Her dance was awesome. At that point in the movie, you've just been whisked through one of the raunchiest bars ever shot on film, another pair, even hers, wasn't needed. And it distinguished her status any, mesoamerican vampire priestess and whatnot. Really, seeing that in the theater was the highlight of my 16th year of existence. If she'd gone topless, I may have snapped into a grand mal seizure.

And from another decade and a half of Tarantino films and projects, I've realized what a foot fetish he has. So +1 to him for getting Hayek to do that hard liquor footjob shot trick to him on film for christsake.

Last edited by drastic_quench; 02-02-2010 at 12:07 PM.
#29
Old 02-02-2010, 12:23 PM
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To counter-balance all the unrealistic stripping by actresses unwilling to commit to the needs of playing a stripper, I offer - Marisa Tomei in The Wrestler. Here's a perfectly safe link of Marisa talking about learning stripping.
#30
Old 02-02-2010, 02:11 PM
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Not sure where folk have lived, but I've lived many places where nudity isn't allowed at all in stripping, down to bikini only.
While I'm sure the vamp club had no problem with nudity, I'm betting the investors in the film did, as they probably wanted to be able to release nationwide and not just to specialty theatres.
Of course, if they were smart, they'd have at least tried for a an unrated version for DVD release...

Then again, count me in with straight ladies who non-the-less think Hayak is the BOMB, and could do no wrong anyway. Hell, I thought the turn in Dogma was fun! And that was more burlesque than stripping.

Last edited by Taomist; 02-02-2010 at 02:12 PM.
#31
Old 02-02-2010, 02:22 PM
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Yeah, I think that scene if Teh Hawt, she's a fucking vampire goddess from the Aztec empire; she put a spell on every man in that room. Only amatuers have to get their tits out for that.
#32
Old 02-02-2010, 02:25 PM
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Originally Posted by DigitalC View Post
Not as bad as Jessica Alba in Sin City. Worst example of gratuitous non nudity ever.
This, plus Salma had a motherfucking snake. That should count for a bit. Of course, if you don't like feet, then subtract X points.
#33
Old 02-02-2010, 02:26 PM
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I hear Jessica Biel does a good one, don't know which movie just saw some pictures of it.
#34
Old 02-02-2010, 03:19 PM
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I hear Jessica Biel does a good one, don't know which movie just saw some pictures of it.
Powder Blue, which came out last year. Biel, like Tomei, was willing to actually dance naked in order to play a character who danced naked.

Others who have been willing to be authentic for the part:

Asia Argento - The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things
Charlotte Ayanna - Dancing at the Blue Iguana
Elizabeth Berkley - Showgirls
Rae Dawn Chong - Fear City
Susan Dey - Echo Park
Gina Gershon - Showgirls
Joanna Going - Keys to Tulsa
Melanie Griffith - Fear City
Daryl Hannah - Dancing at the Blue Iguana
Elizabeth Hurley - Dangerous Ground
Mia Kirshner - Exotica
Kay Lenz - Stripped to Kill
Lucy Liu - City of Industry
Courtney Love - The People vs. Larry Flynt
Penelope Ann Miller - Carlito's Way
Demi Moore - Striptease
Sandra Oh - Dancing at the Blue Iguana
Roselyn Sanchez - Yellow
Mary Steenburgen - Melvin and Howard
Jennifer Tilly - Dancing at the Blue Iguana
Vanity - 52 Pick-Up
Gwen Welles - Nashville
#35
Old 02-02-2010, 08:32 PM
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Originally Posted by Little Nemo View Post
Powder Blue, which came out last year. Biel, like Tomei, was willing to actually dance naked in order to play a character who danced naked.

Others who have been willing to be authentic for the part:

Asia Argento - The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things
Charlotte Ayanna - Dancing at the Blue Iguana
Elizabeth Berkley - Showgirls
Rae Dawn Chong - Fear City
Susan Dey - Echo Park
Gina Gershon - Showgirls
Joanna Going - Keys to Tulsa
Melanie Griffith - Fear City
Daryl Hannah - Dancing at the Blue Iguana
Elizabeth Hurley - Dangerous Ground
Mia Kirshner - Exotica
Kay Lenz - Stripped to Kill
Lucy Liu - City of Industry
Courtney Love - The People vs. Larry Flynt
Penelope Ann Miller - Carlito's Way
Demi Moore - Striptease
Sandra Oh - Dancing at the Blue Iguana
Roselyn Sanchez - Yellow
Mary Steenburgen - Melvin and Howard
Jennifer Tilly - Dancing at the Blue Iguana
Vanity - 52 Pick-Up
Gwen Welles - Nashville
Thanks for helping me with my "movies I must rent" list.
#36
Old 02-02-2010, 08:46 PM
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I might win this thread. I submit the following:

Officer Stacy Sheridan (Heather Locklear) takes an undercover job posing as an exotic dancer in TJ Hooker
#37
Old 02-02-2010, 09:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Bearflag70 View Post
Wow that was bad!
#38
Old 02-02-2010, 09:17 PM
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Damn, she may be a Republican but I'd still....
#39
Old 02-02-2010, 09:48 PM
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A worse strip tease?

How about Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs?
#40
Old 02-02-2010, 10:00 PM
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It wasn't a striptease. Demi Moore in Striptease almost did a striptease. Now there is a director's cut I'd like to see.
#41
Old 02-02-2010, 10:04 PM
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Nah, that was post implants, as if she needed them.
#42
Old 02-02-2010, 10:26 PM
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Salma Hayek wasn't doing a striptease. She was doing a Vampire Queen Snake Dance. You don't take your clothes off for those. You just come out and be amazingly hot. Then you eat a human.
#43
Old 02-02-2010, 11:13 PM
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The strip requires that we see the actress on stage with her clothes off at some point in the movie.

The tease is all the other scenes in the movie.
#44
Old 02-02-2010, 11:53 PM
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There was an episode of Welcome Back Kotter where one of the girls in the class became a stripper. I think that was the worst strip tease ever. She did the entire thing in a knee-length dress.
#45
Old 02-03-2010, 09:01 AM
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Originally Posted by Bearflag70 View Post
Heather Locklear set white women back 30 years with that. She did zero research for that role. Madonna was out back then; Heather could have copied her.

And what was with the Dangerzone ripoff and the well lit strip club with patrons who look like they're listening to a keynote speaker?

Yes, you do win the thread.

Last edited by enomaj; 02-03-2010 at 09:03 AM.
#46
Old 02-03-2010, 09:58 AM
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Originally Posted by Starving Artist View Post
Yeah, there's a lot of great talent at work on that album, most of it previously unheard of. Apart from the two score pieces I love every song, and even after thirteen years or so I still find myself listening to it several times a month (on repeat, no less ). Absolutely one of my favorite albums.
Amen to that. But you have to be careful who you play it for. I had the CD playing in the background once when I was in college (11 years ago!) and my parents came up to visit. My mom was horrified when she heard the Cheech Marin "monologue"
#47
Old 02-03-2010, 10:15 AM
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Originally Posted by enomaj View Post
She did zero research for that role. Madonna was out back then; Heather could have copied her.
Instead she made the tragic mistake of imitating Jennifer Beals in Flashdance. (And poorly.)

Quote:
And what was with the Dangerzone ripoff...
I believe that was a "She's a Maniac" ripoff. Continuing with the Flashdance theme.

All of which leads me to believe Heather's "research" consisted of watching the movie Flashdance.

Last edited by Spoke; 02-03-2010 at 10:19 AM.
#48
Old 02-03-2010, 10:16 AM
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Originally Posted by joemama24_98
Amen to that. But you have to be careful who you play it for. I had the CD playing in the background once when I was in college (11 years ago!) and my parents came up to visit. My mom was horrified when she heard the Cheech Marin "monologue"


That's right, it's easy to slip up. There's "Chet's Speech", which you're thinking of, and "Do Me A Favor", which nearly caused me to fall off my seat the first time I heard it (I heard the music before seeing the film).

I've almost blown it a couple of times over the years. You get so used to hearing those peices while the album is playing that after a while you forget to stop it in time if you have someone in the house or car that you know wouldn't appreciate it.

That's one of the advantages of having the album on my iPod now. I can uncheck those two pieces in iTunes and they are omitted when I sync my iPod. No more worries.

Last edited by Starving Artist; 02-03-2010 at 10:20 AM.
#49
Old 02-03-2010, 01:10 PM
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I've posted this on the NBoard before, but it's worth posting again-- an incisive analysis of Big-Name-Star"Stripping" in movies, from the Jabootu review of I Know Who Killed Me:

Quote:
We get obligatory shots of the unsmiling patrons (would you be happy if this was the ‘dancing’ you were treated to?), which also feature obligatory boobs from beheaded extras working the crowd. Apparently, this is the kind of strip club where the dancer on stage stays clothed, and the cocktail waitresses in the crowd wander about naked. Interesting business plan.

Actually, as Lohan continues to walk very slowly about in her nightie and occasionally squat down and stand up as if she can’t decide whether or not to poop, it’s worth having a brief discursion on this particular genus of movie strip club. Hollywood has a vehement love-hate relationship with strip joints: they love the opportunity to parade women’s bodies around with impunity, but hate the frank and sometimes unsexy fact of constant nudity.

In real strip clubs (in case you need the education), the outfits generally stay on for all of sixty seconds, and the dances are choreographed for maximum viewage of the important naughty bits, accompanied by lots of writhing and leg spreading. Meanwhile, the non-dancing strippers are usually sitting near the bar chatting with each other while wearing bikinis or less, or sliding across the laps of the various patrons.

In movie strip clubs, the dancers perform long and slow numbers in complicated lingerie, with perhaps a brief flourish of nudity at the end, and the choreography involves much hair tossing and walking up and down the runway, sort of like a Victoria’s Secret fashion show with bad lighting, but the strippers in the crowd are invariably topless and wandering about with drinks, as if the bus for a Las Vegas showgirl troupe broke down and all the dancers needed to make some extra cash to get it fixed.

The reason for this dichotomy between reality and fiction is simple: directors want to put their main actress on stage, and actresses, once they get big enough to be leads, generally (and rightly) frown upon the necessary physical exploitation involved in real strip club pole dancing. In many cases, the movie ’strippers’ never strip at all, a fact which only “Planet Terror” has ever bothered to explain—Rose McGowan insists she’s a go-go dancer, not a stripper. In recent memory alone, we have Jessica Alba, Natalie Portman, Salma Hayek, and now Lindsay Lohan all portraying this special breed of non-stripping stripper. The movie patrons never seem to mind, of course, even though they’d be screaming bloody murder at a real place (or more likely, not there at all—who would go to these clubs?).

This all makes sense, of course, but has led to some strange notions of pole dancing in popular culture, to the point that pole dancing classes are now popular at fitness clubs, and young women who probably have never set foot inside a strip joint think of it more as a dancing technique than the gritty, exploitative act that it is.
http://jabootu.net/?p=1428
#50
Old 02-03-2010, 02:31 PM
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You might take into consideration that Salma Hayek is scared to death of snakes- bordering on phobic. She agreed to do it, but she was pretty much freaking out.
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