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#1
Old 10-08-2011, 03:52 AM
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NCIS, the worst successful show ever?

My cousin loves this turd. Why I have no idea. He is not a stupid guy. Maybe he has a thing for the girl on there.

How I hate thee, let me count the ways:

1. The most cardboard cast of characters ever assembled:

- The tough but fair boss man
- The rougish hunk
- The sexy chick
- The offbeat brainy chick
- The nerdy guy
- The mad scientist

Ugh.

2. Computers can't do that.

3. Medical examiner's offices don't look like a set from Star Trek.

4. That camerawork is making me fucking seasick.

And people here dis on Falling Skies and Terra Nova.
#2
Old 10-08-2011, 04:10 AM
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Stan,

I feel your pain. Especially the lab stuff.

What gets me about every single show that spotlights a "scientist" is said "scientist" is an expert in every single aspect of every science known to man.

Most of the scientists in my life are so specialized that we quake at a microscope that is not our own let alone a specialty beyond our knowledge.

However, on TV; virus extraction - got it; paleontology - got it; nuclear physics - got it. A bit of molecular biology - piece of cake! All with a generic "Ph.D".

Damn, I must have gone to the wrong school.

Oh, and those labs with all the bottles of coloured liquids and plethora of interwoven glass wear, pipes
and tubing? Glad I missed those nightmares, I am far too clumsy to even be around them.

And I never saw anyone with boobs hanging out of a lab coat - NEVER!

Some of the scientists may have been mad, but they never lasted long. - so glad for that.

Last edited by King Bobo; 10-08-2011 at 04:14 AM.
#3
Old 10-08-2011, 04:26 AM
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Family Matters
#4
Old 10-08-2011, 04:33 AM
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There is a strong element of intentional self-parody of the genre that is part of the show, the viewer is expected to wink at at it and have an internal chuckle.
And characterization cliches are cliches because they have story telling history, and they work. If you can act in a cliche role but still be a cool character, the average watcher not particularly interested in highbrow stuff will be entertained.
The science stuff stands out as bad for me also, but I think just because it is easier to frame against reality. All the characters play into their cliche tropes, but there really are humans that fit about any characterization. There is only one set of science facts though.
#5
Old 10-08-2011, 04:33 AM
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What really makes me sick is when they want to find out what some substance consists of, in real life they use something like this.

But that would be too boring for stupid TV viewers. Instead they use something like this. Which looks like a microwave oven glued to a 1990's computer tower case.

And yeah, about Abbey. Most lab techs I have met are way kooky tatted-out punk rockin' chicks. Conversely, most kooky tatted-out punk chicks know a LOT about science! So at least they got that one right.

Last edited by Stan Shmenge; 10-08-2011 at 04:34 AM.
#6
Old 10-08-2011, 04:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stan Shmenge View Post
1. The most cardboard cast of characters ever assembled:

- The tough but fair boss man
- The rougish hunk
- The sexy chick
- The offbeat brainy chick
- The nerdy guy
- The mad scientist

Ugh.

This is actually the show's biggest asset, and it is at its best when it strictly sticks to the tried and true tropes. When they try to get clever or add nuance is when the show sucks (I stopped watching quite a while ago because of one particular storyline that tried to go outside the conventions).

The rougish hunk tries to win the approval of the tough but fair boss man. The nerdy guy falls for the offbeat brainy chick. These stories just work, and NCIS recognizes that and gives them to us without unnecessary distractions. It's almost a deconstruction of the genre.
#7
Old 10-08-2011, 04:45 AM
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Originally Posted by Sasquatch View Post
There is a strong element of intentional self-parody of the genre that is part of the show, the viewer is expected to wink at at it and have an internal chuckle.
So I was whooshed? Sorry, I don't watch much TV these days. About the only time I see it is when I am at my girlfriend's building and we go down to the TV room. We watched a few eps of that show that my cousin and others seem to love and I just couldn't stand it. Even as parody, it seems like kind of a weak sauce though. Between the laughable science and the stock characters I really was wondering WTF?

And the art direction... Labs just don't look like that. Government offices just don't look like that. And if they do, I want a tax cut. Talk about government waste!
#8
Old 10-08-2011, 04:49 AM
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Originally Posted by Carmady View Post
This is actually the show's biggest asset, and it is at its best when it strictly sticks to the tried and true tropes. When they try to get clever or add nuance is when the show sucks (I stopped watching quite a while ago because of one particular storyline that tried to go outside the conventions).

The rougish hunk tries to win the approval of the tough but fair boss man. The nerdy guy falls for the offbeat brainy chick. These stories just work, and NCIS recognizes that and gives them to us without unnecessary distractions. It's almost a deconstruction of the genre.
Well, I only saw three episodes, so I guess am not in on the joke. Didn't see the meta level there. But even still...

/ back to reading the journals of Lewis and Clark
/ life is too short
#9
Old 10-08-2011, 05:22 AM
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Originally Posted by Stan Shmenge View Post
And yeah, about Abbey. Most lab techs I have met are way kooky tatted-out punk rockin' chicks. Conversely, most kooky tatted-out punk chicks know a LOT about science! So at least they got that one right.
Weird thing is, Pauly Perrette is the only actor (I know of) on any of these forensics shows who actually studied forensics and criminology.
#10
Old 10-08-2011, 05:49 AM
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Any characters in any TV show can be reduced to stereotypes, though is 'offbeat brainy chick' a common stereotype? Especially 'offbeat, gothy, sexy brainy chick'? Criminal Minds has one, but that might well be a copy of NCIS. Ducky's not a mad scientist - he chatters away but is most definitely sane. Apart from Gibbs, the other descriptions are just too general to mean anything.

The science is often terrible - like it is for all these crime procedural shows - but the characters work really well. They bounce off each other in a believable way. The plots are often character-led rather than plot-led, which is quite unusual.
#11
Old 10-08-2011, 05:53 AM
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Originally Posted by Sasquatch View Post
And characterization cliches are cliches because they have story telling history,...
Yes, but much of that history comes from the same guy who created NCIS, Donald Bellisario. He's been drawing from this well for over thirty years.

Here are the basic ingredients:

Uber-competent alpha male
Negative male stereotypes (braggart/womanizer, geek, etc.)
Competent females
Wise mentor (optional)

Now look at the list of list of shows he's produced:

NCIS
JAG
Quantum Leap
Magnum P.I.
Airwolf
Battlestar Galactica (1978)
Black Sheep Squadron

(There are also "Tequila and Bonetti" and "Tales of the Gold Monkey", but I didn't watch either of those enough to know if they fit the pattern.)

Last edited by Robot Arm; 10-08-2011 at 05:53 AM.
#12
Old 10-08-2011, 06:14 AM
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Criminal Minds is just as bad as NCIS but I still love it. I don't know how many times I've thought to myself "how the hell did they get a warrant to arrest/search that person's home?"
#13
Old 10-08-2011, 07:51 AM
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I have to admit, one of the main things I like about NCIS is that Mark Harmon is some major league eye candy. But having spent 37 years as a federal employee, several of those working with classified materials in secure facilities, I just crack up with the way such a scenario is depicted.

Simple things like a folder being marked "Classified" - um, no, that word is pretty much meaningless. Coversheets specify the classification, from Confidential to Top Secret.

Then there's dialog similar to this, which I've heard more than once on the show:
Random person: I can't discuss that with you - you're not read into Greasy Cheeselog.
Gibbs: Well then, read me into Greasy Cheeselog!
The notion of demanding to be read into a program is just laughably silly. I have to remind myself that the writers obviously have no clue about how this sort of thing really works.

But it doesn't matter - I think the show is fun. I like the interplay between characters. I've found most storylines to be well-crafted. And there is Mark Harmon...

Criminal Minds cracks me up because it seems every time someone pulls an obscure diagnosis out of their butt, it turns out to be the correct answer. Have they ever guessed wrong?

And don't get me started on the idiocy that is Bones...
#14
Old 10-08-2011, 11:13 AM
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I guess I must be stupid, because I enjoy NCIS immensely. Especially the interactions between all the "cliched" characters.
#15
Old 10-08-2011, 12:11 PM
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Originally Posted by FairyChatMom View Post
.....

And don't get me started on the idiocy that is Bones...
Bones is the only one of the plethora of forensics shows that I can stomach, because it does not have the veneer of realism that the others affect. It lets you know that you are in a stylized, unreal universe, quite separate from this one. It succeeds precisely because it turns the science-idiocy up to 11, and because the characters (or most of them) are clearly exaggerated "types" (or slightly off-kilter versions of such) rather than real human beings.

Mind you, it took 3 or 4 viewings before I realized it could be appreciated on this sort of meta level - I certainly thought it was garbage at first viewing - and I don't know whether most people who like it see it this way. I am fairly convinced, however, that its parodic qualities are not entirely unintentional.

Last edited by njtt; 10-08-2011 at 12:12 PM.
#16
Old 10-08-2011, 12:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Tim R. Mortiss View Post
I guess I must be stupid, because I enjoy NCIS immensely. Especially the interactions between all the "cliched" characters.
Me, too. But I also love Hawaii Five-0 and have seen every episode of all 10 seasons of CSI: Miami, so I'm not really into "highbrow" TV. Formulaic crime show with at least one attractive male character is good enough for me. I say "That's ridiculous" at least once an episode with all of these shows, but I don't care.
#17
Old 10-08-2011, 12:56 PM
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Originally Posted by chizzuk View Post
Me, too. But I also love Hawaii Five-0 and have seen every episode of all 10 seasons of CSI: Miami, so I'm not really into "highbrow" TV. Formulaic crime show with at least one attractive male character is good enough for me. I say "That's ridiculous" at least once an episode with all of these shows, but I don't care.
Hawaii Five-O is a great example. In a realistic universe, McGarrett would end every episode in jail or in the hospital. But I don't care; give me Grace Park in a bikini before the opening credits even finish, and I'm a happy viewer.
#18
Old 10-08-2011, 06:27 PM
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I find the inter-character dialog in NCIS to be a breath of fresh air compared to the other cops shows. The characters actually joke around and keep it pretty light, like real life. I’d kill myself before I worked in the CSI office, depression and darkness everywhere you turn.
#19
Old 10-08-2011, 06:44 PM
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David Caruso is not in the cast of NCIS. Therefore it is not the worst successful show ever.
#20
Old 10-08-2011, 07:00 PM
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I'm a recent viewer of NCIS. I never watched an original show until this year. My entry was to begin watching the reruns about two years ago on USA. I"ve seen almost all of the episodes and think that the interaction between the characters is delightful, the sense of humor exhibited by the writers is very good, and I'm never bored with the plot lines.

I must say that I'm disappointed in the 3-4 current episodes I watched this year. I think they did something to the characters that I don't like, but I can't put my finger on it. My one joy in life is viewing an old episode that I've never seen and saying-"aha, that's how xxx or YYY happened" and what the result was.
#21
Old 10-08-2011, 07:09 PM
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I watch very little TV but I love NCIS. I named my newest kitten Leroy Jethro Tull.
#22
Old 10-08-2011, 08:12 PM
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oh, this show irks me no end. And what irks me the most is Gibbs and the other characters' attitudes towards him.
I mean, he's their boss, and never, ever, in my whole working life, have I seen people fawn over their boss like these guys do.
I remember a scrap of conversation that went something like:

"How about a face off between Gibbs and (some person)"?

"Yeah, the boss would win, hands down"

That, and the stereotypes ended it for me long ago.

Ok, later I saw that Mark Harmon is a producer, so I guess he can write himself in as the gruff and tough boss loved by his subordinates. I wonder if he views himself as such in RL, and what the other actors really think of him?
#23
Old 10-08-2011, 08:40 PM
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Originally Posted by sitchensis View Post
I find the inter-character dialog in NCIS to be a breath of fresh air compared to the other cops shows.
I find NCIS to be a bit like Seinfeld; mildly entertaining to watch, but if I was forced to be a part of their group I'd slit my wrists. Demanding boss who wants perfect results yesterday and if your shoelaces aren't tied just right he smacks you on the head? Co-workers insulting and undermining you at every turn? I can see why they started a branch office is Los Angeles. Those agents probably moved there to get away from them.

And the eye candy factor dropped considerably for me when Sasha Alexander left.
#24
Old 10-08-2011, 09:01 PM
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First of all, let me say that I don't like this show anymore. It's beyond stale IMHO.
However; with a lot of the complaints above can I just remind you complainers that um... real life is boring. No one would watch more than one episode of a drama if it followed the pace of a real detective interacting with real lab techs (whose boobs you wouldn't likely WANT poking out of her lab coat).
#25
Old 10-08-2011, 11:07 PM
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I've seen worser.
#26
Old 10-08-2011, 11:36 PM
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Nice, non-demanding show with two non-bimbo hot chicks (Abbey and Ziva).
It's formulaic to a fault, but I don't care.
#27
Old 10-08-2011, 11:52 PM
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Originally Posted by SerenaPerido View Post
Ok, later I saw that Mark Harmon is a producer, so I guess he can write himself in as the gruff and tough boss loved by his subordinates. I wonder if he views himself as such in RL, and what the other actors really think of him?
Well, from what I've seen, the real Mark Harmon is a lot more like his character in "Summer School" (the anti-Gibbs) than Gibbs. I haven't seen a soundbite or interview from him where he's not just grinning ear to ear, joking around and laughing.

I think the thing that shows like NCIS, Bones, Magnum PI, etc.. do well is let the stories provide a framework for the characters to interact and develop. The shows are pretty much not about the stories; they're all variations on a theme, but rather about the characters.

Contrast this with shows like say... Star Trek: The Next Generation are primarily about the story; over the same number of seasons, we know far more about Leroy Jethro Gibbs and what makes him tick than we ever did about Jean-Luc Picard. And the gap in the supporting cast gets even wider.
#28
Old 10-09-2011, 10:04 AM
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The characters have developed over time. I think that's part of why most of the excitement is gone now. Gibbs has gotten over most of his personal demons and has mellowed. Tony is starting to grow up. McGee has become a real agent. It has to happen, the growth in characters -- Tony is getting way too old for the frat boy stuff anymore, for example. It would be worse if they didn't change. But it has changed the show. There has become a little too much attention on the characters, and not enough story, and I do dislike bringing in old celebrities for guest appearances. It becomes too much about them, and not enough about the case at hand.

I don't know enough about science to know how bad it is, and I don't know enough about law enforcement to be bothered by how badly it is protrayed. But I do like the idea of dedicated people who persist and work above and beyond until they solve the case and get it right....That's what I like about Sherlock Holmes, after all.

I've loathed Bones ever since the Zach character was violated so badly, and don't watch any of the other CSI shows. I do like The Mentalist, since it is also about characters and what can be deduced through close observation. Psych is similar, and I do watch it, but I don't care for it, since the main character is so annoying, and is also getting way too old to get away with the 12-year-old man-child act anymore.
#29
Old 10-11-2011, 03:29 PM
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i watch for the characters, all of whom i enjoy, and all the eye candy for us ladies and really don't give a rat's ass about the science or actually much of the storyline, now that i think about it.

it's just television, that's all it is, and gibbs and company are probably the most entertaining of them all. i especially love the halloween episodes. those are always fun.

csi is always depressing, criminal minds (tho i watch it regularly) is always way too freaky for its own good, and i find bones just unwatchable because of the two leads.
#30
Old 10-11-2011, 03:54 PM
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The writers not only have no idea how clasification systems or the military works, they also have no idea how big the state of Virginia is. One episode, they had the team driving from DC to Hampton Roads in 45 minutes!

I actually only watch NCIS:LA nowadays. It is just as implausible, but I somehow like the characters more...I think Linda Hunt is a big part of that.
#31
Old 10-14-2011, 02:09 AM
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I read NCIS, and the only thing I could think was, "Hey, isn't that the show where they have two people type on the same keyboard at the same time?"

It is! It is the show where two people type on the same keyboard at the same time!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=u8qge...layer_embedded

That's the best thing I've ever seen. I can't believe that people actually wrote, acted, shot, edited, and aired that scene on prime time network television.

I wouldn't feel ethical if I didn't plug the cracked.com article I got the clip from.
http://cracked.com/article_19160...echnology.html
#32
Old 10-14-2011, 06:03 AM
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I've only seen a few episodes but that Tony guy has to be the most annoying and loathsome protagonist in any show with a good guy vs bad guy aspect to it that i've ever seen
#33
Old 10-14-2011, 08:43 AM
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Originally Posted by SerenaPerido View Post
oh, this show irks me no end. And what irks me the most is Gibbs and the other characters' attitudes towards him.
I hate the way they all go in fear of him. If Gibbs gives one of them a dirty look, everyone trembles and tries not to wet themselves.

I also cant stand the dingbat crap coming out of Abby all the time. I realize that youre supposed to look, not listen, when shes on screen, but since Im not a heterosexual male she gets on my last nerve.
#34
Old 10-14-2011, 12:15 PM
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Originally Posted by Scubaqueen View Post
i watch for the characters, all of whom i enjoy, and all the eye candy for us ladies and really don't give a rat's ass about the science or actually much of the storyline, now that i think about it.
Us guys too-I can't decide whom I want more-Ziva or Abby. Since I'm also an adoptee, after this most recent ep. I'm trending towards Abby.

Anyone who complains about the formulaic nature of the show has to also point out how its competitors are just as or even more formulaic (CSI, L & O, etc. etc. etc.)-at least this one has a sly sense of humor (one reason I find L & O absolutely insufferable-that and the soapbox moralizing).
#35
Old 10-14-2011, 12:22 PM
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I haven't seen a lot of NCIS, but what I have seen suggests to me that the show makes no attempt to be realistic. In many ways, the show comes off like it's set in the same universe as Stargate SG-1. If Gibbs somehow encountered Jack O'Neill in the course of an investigation I would not have batted an eye. It looks like it's a realistic procedural on the surface, but below that paper-thin veneer is a troperiffic world more goofy than the movie world in Last Action Hero.

Of course, there's an argument to be made that SG-1 was more accurate scientifically than NCIS, but that's just quibbling.

Last edited by Bosstone; 10-14-2011 at 12:22 PM.
#36
Old 10-14-2011, 12:49 PM
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Dude, Two and a Half Men...
#37
Old 10-14-2011, 12:59 PM
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Originally Posted by SecretaryofEvil View Post
I read NCIS, and the only thing I could think was, "Hey, isn't that the show where they have two people type on the same keyboard at the same time?"

It is! It is the show where two people type on the same keyboard at the same time!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=u8qge...layer_embedded

That's the best thing I've ever seen. I can't believe that people actually wrote, acted, shot, edited, and aired that scene on prime time network television.

I wouldn't feel ethical if I didn't plug the cracked.com article I got the clip from.
http://cracked.com/article_19160...echnology.html

That's not even the worst example. Sometime last season (I think) they had Gibbs avoid a major hacker attack and shut down a computer by shooting the monitor!
#38
Old 10-14-2011, 06:01 PM
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That's not even the worst example. Sometime last season (I think) they had Gibbs avoid a major hacker attack and shut down a computer by shooting the monitor!
If I recall, Gibbs shot the monitor thinking it would shut down the computer, as the others gaped in disbelief. The scene was there to show how technically unschooled Gibbs was.
#39
Old 10-14-2011, 06:59 PM
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There was an episode where a bad guy had scanned the pages of a book and stored the images on a hard drive. Said hard drive got blown up. They took the pieces of the hard drive to Abby, who reconstructed it.

Now, that's obviously not possible in the real world, but it's par for the course for a show like NCIS. BUT, here's the kicker:

When she put the hard drive back together and accessed the data, the scanned images were of burned and shredded pages.

I love NCIS, but I could not stop staring in disbelief at that one.
#40
Old 10-14-2011, 07:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Tim R. Mortiss View Post
If I recall, Gibbs shot the monitor thinking it would shut down the computer, as the others gaped in disbelief. The scene was there to show how technically unschooled Gibbs was.
As I recall, it worked, and shut the computer down. I remember having a discussion about it later...
#41
Old 10-14-2011, 08:55 PM
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You have to turn a blind eye to the science and procedures that are portrayed on shows like NCIS and Criminal Minds. What makes the shows work are the personalities and interactions of the characters. NCIS, in particular, has some of the best developed characters with, shall I say, endearing and amusing interactions. Those are the shows within a show that make the episodes watchable. And who can not like Ducky on NCIS. He was once an U.N.C.L.E. agent!
#42
Old 10-15-2011, 12:05 AM
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This show is way over due to have Robert Vaughn guest star as an old friend of Ducky.
#43
Old 10-15-2011, 02:47 AM
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I haven't read the thread. I love this show. You haters can shove it.
#44
Old 10-15-2011, 03:05 AM
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Originally Posted by SciFiSam View Post
Any characters in any TV show can be reduced to stereotypes, though is 'offbeat brainy chick' a common stereotype? Especially 'offbeat, gothy, sexy brainy chick'? Criminal Minds has one, but that might well be a copy of NCIS.
The differences between Abby and Garcia -- who isn't a goth, for heaven's sake -- are so vast as to drive a fleet of Mack trucks through. Work for a federal law enforcement agency, unconventional fashion sense and skilled with computers are where the similarities begin and end.
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Originally Posted by bump View Post
Well, from what I've seen, the real Mark Harmon is a lot more like his character in "Summer School" (the anti-Gibbs) than Gibbs.
From all reports that's exactly right. He plays practical jokes constantly, lizards in co-stars' trailers, etc. He's also there all day, every day, even though he's not a supervising producer. His position is if anyone's working, he's working too. Hell of a work ethic. You could do worse.
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Originally Posted by Skara_Brae View Post
That's not even the worst example. Sometime last season (I think) they had Gibbs avoid a major hacker attack and shut down a computer by shooting the monitor!
He didn't shut the computer down by shooting the monitor (though he did shoot the monitor) he shot the power supply. Considering that the computer was seconds away from breaching the Pentagon's security (yeah, yeah) and the room was filling with smoke, that he didn't strafe the thing from top to bottom and hope for the best was pretty forward thinking, I'd say.
#45
Old 10-15-2011, 06:11 AM
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Originally Posted by Stan Shmenge View Post
What really makes me sick is when they want to find out what some substance consists of, in real life they use something like this.

But that would be too boring for stupid TV viewers. Instead they use something like this. Which looks like a microwave oven glued to a 1990's computer tower case.

And yeah, about Abbey. Most lab techs I have met are way kooky tatted-out punk rockin' chicks. Conversely, most kooky tatted-out punk chicks know a LOT about science! So at least they got that one right.
Actually Paulie Perrette has a degree in Criminal Science, so at least she blends in =)

And that mass spec seems to be a FTIR8400 Shimadzu mass spec ... which dates to 2002, and given how the US Navy tends to be at least a generation behind on pretty much any equipment around, would be pretty spiffy for Abby.
#46
Old 10-12-2014, 08:07 PM
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New chick sux !!!!

Is it supposed to be "cool" that she sits on the floor to work? Who does that ? Ziva was one of the few interesting characters on the show & they replace her with a bleach blond turd ? In my script, both her & Gibbbs get wasted. That would be a great episode !!!
#47
Old 10-12-2014, 08:10 PM
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Mass.
Posts: 13
Matbe then, civil rights

Would be adhered to ! The show consistently ignores more ammendments than the Taliban !!!
#48
Old 10-12-2014, 08:19 PM
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Mass.
Posts: 13
So. Laurie, you like men with...

Quote:
Originally Posted by LorieSmurf View Post
I haven't read the thread. I love this show. You haters can shove it.
Legs smaller than a 5 year old girl ? Or a person that abuses his personal ? No hate, just reality. I'm guessing you live alone with a poodle !!!
#49
Old 10-12-2014, 08:19 PM
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 12,056
24 was by far the stupidest ever.

CSIs and NCISs are tied for second worst.
#50
Old 10-12-2014, 08:35 PM
BANNED
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Randolph, MA
Posts: 10,554
Quote:
Originally Posted by Enright3 View Post
First of all, let me say that I don't like this show anymore. It's beyond stale IMHO.
However; with a lot of the complaints above can I just remind you complainers that um... real life is boring. No one would watch more than one episode of a drama if it followed the pace of a real detective interacting with real lab techs (whose boobs you wouldn't likely WANT poking out of her lab coat).
This!! There's even a trope for it. Real Life Is Boring
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