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#1
Old 01-24-2012, 01:25 PM
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Married couples with one shared e-mail account?

We have two friends, both married couples, who use one shared e-mail account. I find this strange, awkward, and unnecessary.

I cannot imagine how many e-mails each person has to trough through in order to read and respond to only those intended for them, or how the day-to-day process works.

So, can anyone with a shared marital e-mail account explain to me "why"?
#2
Old 01-24-2012, 01:29 PM
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I've encountered two possible reasons for this. 1) It's a mom-and-pop business email and it doesn't matter to whom email is addressed. or 2) One half of the couple is technologically disinclined (like my grandparents). My grandma would always check the email, and just let my non-savvy gramps know if anyone sent him a letter.
#3
Old 01-24-2012, 01:33 PM
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God I hate that. My aunt and uncle have a shared account. If I write an email and address it to my uncle, most likely my aunt will respond.
#4
Old 01-24-2012, 01:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rachelellogram View Post
I've encountered two possible reasons for this. 1) It's a mom-and-pop business email and it doesn't matter to whom email is addressed. or 2) One half of the couple is technologically disinclined (like my grandparents). My grandma would always check the email, and just let my non-savvy gramps know if anyone sent him a letter.
To clarify: both are young (40's), technologically adept (both send and respond to e-mails), and it is a non-business, home account (e.g., using Yahoo or Comcast, etc)
#5
Old 01-24-2012, 01:37 PM
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There's one married couple on my Facebook friends list that shares an account there. It's in the husband's name but his wife does most of the posting. It annoys me to no end. With them, I believe it boils down to trust issues on her part.
#6
Old 01-24-2012, 01:40 PM
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Funny, I ran into this today. Someone on MyFitnessPal.com was asking in the forum how to have separate accounts for her and her husband if they both share an email address. According to their profile they are in their 40s.

I can see the rationale behind older couples doing it, like my grandparents, where one person won't even touch the computer.

But if you're competent enough to be online and have your own accounts on Web sites, you're competent enough to have your own email address.

Besides...how do you send each other email??

BTW the answer everyone gave on MyFitnessPal to the problem was "get a second email address at one of the many free email places!"

Last edited by ZipperJJ; 01-24-2012 at 01:41 PM.
#7
Old 01-24-2012, 01:57 PM
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My husband & I use the same. Maybe because our relationship is pre-internet (for us) and I don't think we're as integrated socially via technology as many younger people. My husband has signed up for his own but rarely used it. We both use mine which, I suppose, makes it ours.

We tend to use email for information, not as much in a social sense. Keeping track of kid's activities, 'funny' stuff forwarded from people who want to share. We will send an occasional email "how you doing" to long distance relationships but almost inevitably it's attatched to something like "I'm sending you a package" or "the plane lands at _____". We both prefer phone contact or in person for socializing/catching up with people.

Neither of us is into online porn or uses it as a way to initiate and maintain out of marriage relationships. If one of us was going to have an affair it's a lot more likely we'd be picking up someone in a bar - but that's old school too.

If my husband was more internet social and/or his friends were he'd probably use his own. As far as I've seen he doesn't even check out the news online, preferring TV.

So, I think it has a lot to do with social networking and whether that's your thing.
#8
Old 01-24-2012, 01:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZipperJJ View Post
Besides...how do you send each other email??
You email your shared email address & put in the subject line - Hey, Bob!

Not a problem.
#9
Old 01-24-2012, 02:00 PM
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A guy I know does this. I've met his wife and she's a lovely person, but they're both intelligent, net-savvy, successful people. I've never seen any inkling of trust issues in their relationship, so I haven't a clue why.

What kills me is he is the single biggest serial forwarder of porn/naked texts in our group, and she constantly forwards Christian glurge.
#10
Old 01-24-2012, 02:08 PM
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In ye olde days people didn't have email accounts. Initially some people with office jobs got an email account. Then a few years down the road people at home got connected and their ISP provided them with a free email account, which they kept, along with their separate work email accounts. Hence, a shared account at home and separate accounts at work.

That's how it went for many people I know.
#11
Old 01-24-2012, 02:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Living Well Is Best Revenge View Post
God I hate that. My aunt and uncle have a shared account. If I write an email and address it to my uncle, most likely my aunt will respond.
especially if they do not indicate who is responding!
#12
Old 01-24-2012, 02:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZipperJJ View Post
Besides...how do you send each other email??
Why would they (we) need to send each other email? We text each other or call if it requires more conversation.

My wife and I share an account. Actually, we both have separate accounts but they're mainly for junk and receipts when we buy things online. I'm not sure why we share, it just sort of happened that way. It was my account pre-marriage and people just started sending both of us stuff to that account, and we found it tedious when we were trying to communicate with our siblings and married friends who had separate accounts- which one do you send the email to, or do you send everything to both of them? Ugh.

These days, now that my wife volunteers and is involved in a bunch of different groups for herself and our kids, she has pretty much taken over the account. Hardly anything is sent to me in that account. I have email at work that people use if it's just for me.

I don't think most people even realize we share the account; her friends are constantly sending her emails like "OMG, I just need to vent about this, my cramps are killing me today!" or "This morning I went from laughing hysterically to crying my eyes out, why yes, I'm PMS'ing, is it obvious?!?!" and what-not.

Last edited by corkboard; 01-24-2012 at 02:11 PM.
#13
Old 01-24-2012, 02:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZipperJJ View Post

Besides...how do you send each other email??
You don't. You either pick up the phone if it's important or time sensitive, or you wait and tell/show them when they get home if it's not. Same as if one or both of you doesn't have the opportunity to diddle around on the net at work.

My parents shared an email account for many years after they got Internet access, and the problems people bring up simply weren't issues for them, because the way they used their email didn't lend itself to those problems. If email isn't your primary tool for communication, you don't get big wads of stuff in your in box to wade through. If neither of you has web access during the work day and you see each other after work every day, or if you're both retired, you have no reason to email each other. At that point, making yourself log in and out of two accounts just seems a bit silly. Especially if 90% of your email is information that's ultimately meant for both of you, like general update notes from family members.
#14
Old 01-24-2012, 02:19 PM
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A friend of mine shares an e-mail account with his wife (they're both in their early 40s, and reasonably tech-savvy). I do suspect that the account dates from the time when multiple e-mail accounts from an ISP weren't always a given. Despite the fact that the rest of us good-naturedly tease him about the shared account ("get into the 21st Century!", "you *can* get another e-mail address now!"), they still share an account. I personally suspect that his wife (who absolutely is the one who wears the pants) wants it that way.

Even more strangely, both of them joined Facebook last year...under a joint account.
#15
Old 01-24-2012, 02:21 PM
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We have a shared account we use to sign up for accounts (PayPal, online banking, etc.) We also use it for correspondence with our kids' teachers and PTA information, etc. Of course we each have our own personal addresses too.
#16
Old 01-24-2012, 02:22 PM
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I know three couples who do this. Aunt/Uncle in their 60s, ex-boss/wife in their 60s, and a friend/husband my age. The reason I am surmising is that they were married before they got email so when they signed up for one they just got the one. Back then, some ISPs only provided one account for the house and there wasn't anything like gmail around, especially back when I started. I remember it being way cool when AOL started offering multiple accounts per household.

My husband and I email each other every day all day long while we're at work. Or if it's urgent and one or both of us can't have our emails open, we'll text.
#17
Old 01-24-2012, 02:35 PM
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I think some couples got a single email address when having any email address was unusual and it was rarely used, then they just continued the practice.

I have several friends who share. One couple is in the real estate business together, so I guess it makes sense. All correspondence from a client, no matter who it is answered by or sent by, will be in the same email storage.

It wouldn't be my way of handling it, but it works for some people.
#18
Old 01-24-2012, 02:38 PM
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It annoys me, too, and I don't know why since its none of my business. The shared Facebook page also annoys me. It has a name like AmyandBill Smith, but Amy does everything. Why have Bill on there? I can always mention Bill in a post to Amy if I want. It just makes me picture an insecure couple who distrust technology, or a couple who distrust each other, but Amy and Bill are young professionals who use technology daily (and separately) at work. Whether or not they distrust each other I don't kow.
#19
Old 01-24-2012, 02:51 PM
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God me and my SO e-mail each other back and forth all day long. If it wasn't for this we'd never talk all day because neither of us like phone conversations and a quick e-mail is way less distruptive to the office and your work than a phone call. You can answer it when you want, for one thing.

I also e-mail him a lot when I want him to read an article or look at something - but at his leisure.

My aunts and cousin also all used to use one e-mail addy and it drove me batty. I could never just talk to one of them. But they're like that with the phone, too - when you call all three of them get on different extensions AND TALK ALL AT ONCE.
#20
Old 01-24-2012, 03:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Anaamika View Post
God me and my SO e-mail each other back and forth all day long. If it wasn't for this we'd never talk all day because neither of us like phone conversations and a quick e-mail is way less distruptive to the office and your work than a phone call. You can answer it when you want, for one thing.

I also e-mail him a lot when I want him to read an article or look at something - but at his leisure.
Good, glad I'm not crazy thinking that there is a need to email one's SO The most important thing I imagined was sending cool/interesting/funny links to each other. You can't do that by picking up the phone!
#21
Old 01-24-2012, 03:08 PM
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My (retired, not computer savvy) parents share a single email account that comes from their ISP. They don't send or receive a whole lot of email, so the issue of "how many e-mails each person has to trough [?] through" doesn't come up.
#22
Old 01-24-2012, 03:09 PM
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Weird. I have 3 email addresses myself, my gf has at least two (hers are work and personal. Mine work/personal/spam bait)
#23
Old 01-24-2012, 03:44 PM
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My husband and I share an email address that forwards all the email sent to that address to both our individual accounts. I can't imagine actually sharing a primary account.

And of course any replies will come from my individual email address. (I was about to type "from one of our individual email addresses," and then I realized mr. hunter never answers his personal email.)
#24
Old 01-24-2012, 03:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZipperJJ View Post
Good, glad I'm not crazy thinking that there is a need to email one's SO The most important thing I imagined was sending cool/interesting/funny links to each other. You can't do that by picking up the phone!
Hell no you're not. Mr. Athena and I are in the same house and we email/IM each other way more than we pick up the phone or talk in person.

What's funny, though, is I keep thinking we need to get a joint account. Not for actual talking to humans, but for signing up for joint things. Like, we share an Amazon account so if we buy Kindle books we can both read them. Same thing with the Apple account we use for our iPhones. And it'd be handy to have all the utility/household bills go to an account we both use, and the Netflix account.

Someday, I will set up such a thing, right after I clean out the storage room and put all my books in alphabetical order by author.
#25
Old 01-24-2012, 03:58 PM
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My boyfriend uses my Facebook account all the time. His reasoning is "Why should I make my own when I can just use yours?"
#26
Old 01-24-2012, 04:17 PM
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My wife and I have our own accounts, but regularly read emails from the other's account. They're both loaded to the iPad email application, anytime we use the thing we see the mail from both accounts.

We have friends who email to one or the other ID, and neither of us are shy about responding from either account if it makes sense to.

My wife used my Facebook a couple of times, once she added friends I didn't really want, so that had to stop, and quick.
#27
Old 01-24-2012, 04:32 PM
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Someone I work with dropped her facebook account when she got engaged and instead went with a joint account under a Frankenstein's monster of a stiched together name of her's and her boyfriend's. It was horrifically cutsie and juvenile.

Any couple that has a joint email or facebook I will assume there are either serious trust issues or that one is a Luddite. Old people are grandfathered in. So to speak.
#28
Old 01-24-2012, 06:17 PM
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When we first got email, our provider only allowed one email address per account. Now, we're allowed something like eight, and I have a separate address now but the shared address gets most of the emails. I suppose I could insist that my husband set up his own address - but what would be the point? He doesn't read the shared email as it is- and this fact is so well known that his friends actually address their emails to me ( as in " Hi Doreen, tell husband ____) and most of the emails going into that shared account are related to other shared accounts - notification that one bill or another is due or confirmation that it was paid, Netflix, Amazon, various reward and discount clubs etc
#29
Old 01-24-2012, 06:48 PM
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My parents do this. They've been married for 40 years, and while Dad is somewhat tech savvy, Mom doesn't like computers. Most messages are from old friends and are usually meant for both of them. Dad usually calls mom down to read her emails since otherwise she can't be bothered. Hell, my dad will forward me emails if it concerns anyone I even remotely know.
#30
Old 01-24-2012, 07:14 PM
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My sister and her husband share an email account. I hate it - for one thing, I can't always tell which one of them is actually responding because neither signs their name. Two, I won't share anything really girly or personal via email since I don't know who's going to reading it. (My sister's husband dislikes me and my sister is OK with being the Powerless Little Underling Wife in the relationship.)

They live several continents away, so as a result I don't have much of a relationship with my sister any more.

When I was married, my ex and I had each other's email log-ins, no big deal. But definitely separate email accounts. Family and friends just emailed both of us with anything that was of interest to both. More personal emails were sent to the appropriate account. We had separate (as well as shared) interests, email lists and friends - it was simply more efficient to have separate accounts.
#31
Old 01-24-2012, 07:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZipperJJ View Post
Good, glad I'm not crazy thinking that there is a need to email one's SO The most important thing I imagined was sending cool/interesting/funny links to each other. You can't do that by picking up the phone!
You're not crazy, just out of touch with the fact that other people have very different lives. Not that I don't do the same thing, of course. I've always worked "leave when all the work is done" jobs, so non-essential personal contact is an interference more than anything, so when people talk about calling/texting/emailing someone during the workday there's this voice in my head spluttering "WTF! Don't these people have work to do?!"
#32
Old 01-24-2012, 07:43 PM
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My parents share one, which is used for private and work emails- but then, they also work together, and barely use it at all.

In fact, if I email them, the message is normally passed on via one of the staff, who has access to the account
#33
Old 01-24-2012, 07:44 PM
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Originally Posted by Loach View Post
Someone I work with dropped her facebook account when she got engaged and instead went with a joint account under a Frankenstein's monster of a stiched together name of her's and her boyfriend's. It was horrifically cutsie and juvenile.

Any couple that has a joint email or facebook I will assume there are either serious trust issues or that one is a Luddite. Old people are grandfathered in. So to speak.
Well said! This is my thinking also!!!!
#34
Old 01-24-2012, 07:51 PM
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Originally Posted by Bob Ducca View Post
I believe it boils down to trust issues on her part.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Loach View Post
Any couple that has a joint email or facebook I will assume there are either serious trust issues or that one is a Luddite. Old people are grandfathered in. So to speak.
If it's young, otherwise tech savvy folks, this is generally my assumption-- somebody doesn't trust the other person.
#35
Old 01-24-2012, 08:06 PM
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We have one shared account for family emails, but he and I have our own individual email accounts as well.
#36
Old 01-24-2012, 08:29 PM
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My stepmom used to read my dad's e-mails and sometimes reply to them, which drove me bonkers. If I want to communicate with my own freaking father privately, shouldn't I be able to do so? They certainly have their own e-mail accounts and are quite tech-savvy; they each have their own iPhones, and my dad, though he is 71, until he retired 2 weeks ago, managed the development and implementation of large-scale IT projects. I don't think it was a trust issue with my stepmom, so much as that she is a complete control freak.

My in-laws share an account, which I also don't really understand (though it doesn't drive me as bonkers as my stepmom replying to private e-mails written to my dad). They are older, but both quite capable of writing and replying to e-mails from their home computer (and they do always indicate who is writing). The issue arose when my MIL was visiting last summer without my FIL, and because she didn't know how to log into their e-mail account except from their home computer, she was asking us to send e-mails to people from our own accounts on her behalf. Which was kind of a pain when we didn't know when they were going to reply; if it was after she left our house and went on to my SIL's house, that meant we would have to forward things on to them if she wanted to be able to read them, etc. (To be fair, I don't know whether their ISP even has webmail functionality, but still.)

So Tom Scud said "hey, why don't we just set you up a nice free gmail account, and you could access it all by yourself, from wherever you happen to be?" She thought that was weird and didn't really see the utility of it, but we finally talked her into it. I don't know whether she ever logged into the thing after she left our house.
#37
Old 01-24-2012, 11:18 PM
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Interesting to see some of the assumptions here about people who do this.

My wife and I share an email account. We started that way, as some above have mentioned, primarily because it was pretty much one to a household back in the earlyish nineties. We are both tech-savvy (her more than me, but I know what I'm doing--Luddites we are not); we both email, a lot; we don't have any particular trust issues in our relationship. Are we old? Depends on what you mean by old--we both recently turned fifty.

We have the computers set so that emails from my laptop come in as from me, emails from her laptop come in as from her, and emails from our auxiliary computer come in from both of us together--that's a bit of a concession to the idea that we are not completely interchangeable, I guess!

We do both have separate work email addresses, but most people who don't know us primarily through work use our personal email address.

We also share a telephone number (though as time goes on we are more and more likely to give out and use our cell numbers, which are different), and we share a physical mailbox.

Works very well for us. We've never seen any reason to change it, and haven't gotten any complaints from people we correspond with. (Though for all we know they are sitting somewhere gnashing their teeth over this. But I doubt it.)
#38
Old 01-24-2012, 11:36 PM
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Ok, I've read it suggested here that sometimes a couple shares an email because of "trust issues", which I take to mean that at least one partner doesn't trust the other to have a separate account. Personally, I think that's an untenable explanation, because it would simply be impossible to prevent the other person from establishing a second, secret account if they wanted to do so.

It seems to me that couples having "trust issues" are more likely to go in the opposite direction, to get separate accounts to maintain a bit of privacy from their partner.

I have to wonder how many have shared addresses also have solo addresses that they never talk about. Even some here note that their partner has one, but hardly ever uses it. SO YOU THINK!
#39
Old 01-25-2012, 12:02 AM
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Here's a worse case than just sharing. I get emails from "Rudy", but Rudy doesn't use the computer. Instead, it's always from his wife. Why she insists on using his account name, especially for business purposes, I don't know.
#40
Old 01-25-2012, 12:46 AM
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I correspond as an individual, but I understand that different couples have different boundaries. It has driven me nuts a couple of times when my dearest childhood friend's husband has horned in and answered my emails to her. They share the account. He's very controlling. I don't say anything, since he makes her happy, but after 30+ years of marriage, I wish he could accept that her correspondence with her girlhood best friend doesn't need his monitoring or input.
#41
Old 01-25-2012, 01:04 AM
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Yeah, I dunno. My parents are in their late 40s and obviously technologically adept but they use one email account for the two of them. It is, however, not in anyone's name as such, but just the family last name. My mom is the gatekeeper, as it were, reading all the emails and replying to them, passing along things that my dad needs to know about. It's never bothered me because that's how they've always done it and I've never needed to email one parent about something I didn't want the other to know about.
#42
Old 01-25-2012, 01:08 AM
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Oddly, we don't have a shared bank account, but we did have one shared email account for a long time. We don't anymore, because we ran into an odd problem.

A guy I know, but not very well, sent ME an email espousing a radically liberal idea of some kind. Now, I'm not radically liberal, in fact I'm radically apathetic, but hey. He sent it to everybody.

My husband, not recognizing his name, assumed it was some kind of spam and wrote back something to the effect of "You, sir, are illiterate! Take me off your mailing list!"

About this time I woke up and went to check my email, and there was a letter from the guy saying, essentially, "I think I know whose account this is, but I could be wrong. Please respond and let me know who I sent this to."

Since the previous exchange had been deleted, I sent him a very facetious email saying something like, "I know who you are, but not who you think you are"--or something like that. So he wrote back saying, "Hey, now I'm really confused..."

Eventually we sorted it out. I got be be outraged because my husband insulted a friend of mine, my husband got to mutter about my illiterate liberal friends (interestingly, this guy is an English professor; he's not illiterate, but he is awfully, awfully liberal)

Shortly after that, we had some other issues--I accessed the thing remotely and accidentally deleted a whole bunch of messages, some of which were important, and we decided it might be a good idea to send certain things to separate emails. So, one email address for family stuff, bills, Netflix--things it doesn't matter which one of us reads it first--and another for liberal stuff (me) and religious stuff (him) so that each of us can save what we want and delete what offends us.
#43
Old 01-25-2012, 01:10 AM
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This would not surprise me for older couples. I almost thought my grandparents were doing this but then I realized that actually they had slightly different emails (let's call them Roger and Tina) - [email protected] for grandpa and [email protected] for grandma.

I can see a couple having two personal accounts and one shared account for logistical things, but not generally only a shared account.

Last edited by jackdavinci; 01-25-2012 at 01:13 AM.
#44
Old 01-25-2012, 02:23 AM
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Originally Posted by corkboard View Post
Why would they (we) need to send each other email? We text each other or call if it requires more conversation.
But don't you/they ever need to e-mail a link to a web page? Send it from a smartphone, and expect the spouse to read it on his/her phone?
#45
Old 01-25-2012, 09:01 AM
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It seems odd to me, but I'm not at all surprised. I could never imagine using a joint email account by default, but that's because a LOT of my life is in email, including confidences from friends who I don't automatically want to spread to my SO, bundles of email notifications about stuff of zero relevance to my SO, etc,etc.

But I could easily imagine letting my SO open my post. In principle I want my post to be private. But in reality, my post consists entirely of: commercial stuff (bills, statements, etc) which I don't care if she knows about; spam and random promotions; occasional postcards and greetings cards; mail order stuff. I think in the last ten years got something personal and private in the post, like, once. So I wouldn't advocate letting SOs share post by default, but if it started happening, I wouldn't care about it.

I infer some people are like that about email. If, for whatever reason, most of your email is personal stuff or commercial stuff that applies to both of you, then you can see why it's convenient to share.
#46
Old 01-25-2012, 09:24 AM
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Originally Posted by Ulf the Unwashed View Post
...and haven't gotten any complaints from people we correspond with. (Though for all we know they are sitting somewhere gnashing their teeth over this. But I doubt it.)
they are...
#47
Old 01-25-2012, 10:44 AM
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My wife and I are neither kids nor old fogies but we've had a shared e-mail account for years. We do each have our own Yahoo address as well, but we tend to use those mostly when registering at websites and stuff like that to attract the spam.

The shared account is the one we use most to communicate with family and friends. We don't have trust issues but we're not joined at the hip either. It just makes sense to me that we can both see and send e-mails that concern both of us. Lots of our friends and relatives have "couple" accounts too. I don't find it weird and don't really get all the hate.
#48
Old 01-25-2012, 10:56 AM
The Central Scrutinizer
Moderator
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Pork Roll/Taylor Ham
Posts: 23,051
Quote:
Originally Posted by Boyo Jim View Post
Ok, I've read it suggested here that sometimes a couple shares an email because of "trust issues", which I take to mean that at least one partner doesn't trust the other to have a separate account. Personally, I think that's an untenable explanation, because it would simply be impossible to prevent the other person from establishing a second, secret account if they wanted to do so.

It seems to me that couples having "trust issues" are more likely to go in the opposite direction, to get separate accounts to maintain a bit of privacy from their partner.

I have to wonder how many have shared addresses also have solo addresses that they never talk about. Even some here note that their partner has one, but hardly ever uses it. SO YOU THINK!
Bad assumption. My ex is batshit crazy jealous. I gave her no reason to be. We had separate accounts but I never kept my password a secret from her. I did not try to have a secret account. She still read my emails and I found out she deleted some when she didn't like where they came from. I know I could have insisted on changing my passwords. But I was trying to make things work so I had to work within her issues. Some people may try sneak around their joint account. Others will just take it as the cost of the relationship.
#49
Old 01-25-2012, 11:26 AM
Charter Member
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: London, Ontario
Posts: 12,794
We share an email account.

I am stunned to learn we are being harshly judged for it, but I could care less. We have no trust issues and anyone who knows us, knows we share everything, so it's not a big deal. It works for us.

I used to set up an account for the Mr, but he wouldn't use it, or check it, so no one could reach him. So if they wanted to send him something he really needed, he'd have it sent to me. And from there, we just ended up with the one account.

The best way I can describe it is, it would be like getting two answering machines. Yes, we are two separate people, who get private calls, but who could be bothered?

One answering machine, one email address. It seems to work just fine. Our next, new computer I may set him up again, and see if it 'takes' this time, but we'll see.

(Email each other several times throughout the day? Astounding to learn, amazing to contemplate. Truly a new world. Such a thing would never occur to me, I love when that happens!)
#50
Old 01-25-2012, 11:29 AM
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: East Texas
Posts: 9,813
Quote:
Originally Posted by Boyo Jim View Post
Ok, I've read it suggested here that sometimes a couple shares an email because of "trust issues", which I take to mean that at least one partner doesn't trust the other to have a separate account. Personally, I think that's an untenable explanation, because it would simply be impossible to prevent the other person from establishing a second, secret account if they wanted to do so.

It seems to me that couples having "trust issues" are more likely to go in the opposite direction, to get separate accounts to maintain a bit of privacy from their partner.

I have to wonder how many have shared addresses also have solo addresses that they never talk about. Even some here note that their partner has one, but hardly ever uses it. SO YOU THINK!
I've known two sets of people that did this. One is my mother and aunt and the other was an ex and his now wife. In both cases, it is / was definitely trust issues. The ones that control the account are relatively tech savvy. The ones who want to only maintain one account don't believe the other will do anything untoward outside of said one account.

Hell, in both cases, I don't think the possibility has ever even crossed their minds that you can get accounts elsewhere or how that would be accomplished. These folks are that low tech. So, just another data point.
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