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#1
Old 07-31-2012, 11:40 PM
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A way to tell apart the 5-dollar hookers and undercover cops

During my sleep, I had this idea. In America, prostitution is illegal, and you can get arrested for it. Undercover cops usually disguise as hookers and as you pick them up on your car and pay them and show the intention to purchase for sex service, you get arrested.

I have a simple solution, though. Just pick up a hooker, and as she is in your car, ask her to reveal her intimate parts, such as the breasts, the butt, or the vulva. I mean, an undercover cop would most likely NOT be willing to do that, so you can immediately tell if she's real or not. A hooker generally would not have a problem, especially if you offer to provide cash. Since you have not performed any sex yet, it is simply paying money to show someone's body parts so it does not even count as prostitution. Once she's done that you can be sure she's not a cop and you can proceed to do whatever you want. Smart, huh? What you think?
#2
Old 07-31-2012, 11:42 PM
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I think you try it first and let us know.
#3
Old 07-31-2012, 11:45 PM
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I'm anxiously waiting to hear the outcome of this experiment.
#4
Old 07-31-2012, 11:46 PM
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Since the OP is asking for opinions, let's move this over to IMHO.

Colibri
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#5
Old 07-31-2012, 11:47 PM
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This. Is. Simply. Brilliant.

Thinkin' "outside the box"...That's what this is. I'm quite certain no one has ever had this novel idea before. Quite.
#6
Old 07-31-2012, 11:56 PM
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On the cop shows I have seen where they're busting people cruising for hookers, the undercover female officer never, ever gets in the car.

The "bust" happens as a result of whatever conversation takes place between the hooker-cruising car occupant, and the out-of-car undercover cop.
#7
Old 07-31-2012, 11:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KellyCriterion View Post
On the cop shows I have seen where they're busting people cruising for hookers, the undercover female officer never, ever gets in the car.

The "bust" happens as a result of whatever conversation takes place between the hooker-cruising car occupant, and the out-of-car undercover cop.
But if the only thing the guy says is "I'm not making any deals until you show me a boob" it might not get that far.

I'm almost positive we had a thread about this a few years back.
#8
Old 08-01-2012, 12:01 AM
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Have you ever even watched an episode of COPS?!?

They arrest guys who pick up a woman who says "hey wanna party?" it is shocking how easy it is to get sweeped up in these stings. Hey guys on the prowl for casual sex, be careful!
#9
Old 08-01-2012, 12:15 AM
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If the hooker is covered in herpes sores and swarming with crabs, she's probably not a cop. Go nuts!
#10
Old 08-01-2012, 12:17 AM
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It's the quality of the blowjob. If it's really good, it's an undercover cop. Those $5 hookers can only get $5 for a reason.
#11
Old 08-01-2012, 12:21 AM
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I have an opposite question.

On an episode of The Wire, Jimmy McNulty is sent in as client to incriminate prostitutes but ends up ... well, satisfied, before the arrest protocol is satisfied. ("It wasn't my fault; I was outnumbered; there were two of them.")

Is this valid? Can hookers particularly skilled at quick service evade arrest this way?
#12
Old 08-01-2012, 12:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambivalid View Post
This. Is. Simply. Brilliant.

Thinkin' "outside the box"...That's what this is. I'm quite certain no one has ever had this novel idea before. Quite.
Yeah I know. The creativity put into this plot has blown my mind. I am having a hard time believing that no one has ever thought of this before.
#13
Old 08-01-2012, 12:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by griffon502 View Post
During my sleep, I had this idea. . . I mean, an undercover cop would most likely NOT be willing to do that, so you can immediately tell if she's real or not. . . What you think?
I think you sleep too much. After all, she could just be one of those fancy 10-dollar hookers.
#14
Old 08-01-2012, 12:43 AM
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Somehow I don't picture you convincing a judge you had honest intents. "You honor I wasn't looking to pick up a prostitute I was just hanging out in the red light district asking women to lift their skirts for me.

By all means try this plan out and use your one phone call to let us know the results.
#15
Old 08-01-2012, 12:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambivalid View Post
This. Is. Simply. Brilliant.

Thinkin' "outside the box"...That's what this is. I'm quite certain no one has ever had this novel idea before. Quite.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Covered_In_Bees! View Post
Yeah I know. The creativity put into this plot has blown my mind. I am having a hard time believing that no one has ever thought of this before.
You know, you guys are overpraising here. After all, there's an even simpler solution -- all you have to do is ask if she's a cop, because everybody knows that cops are not allowed to lie.

You should probably praise me now for being clever enough to come up with that one. I didn't even have to fall asleep to do it.
#16
Old 08-01-2012, 01:02 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gary T View Post
You know, you guys are overpraising here. After all, there's an even simpler solution -- all you have to do is ask if she's a cop, because everybody knows that cops are not allowed to lie.

You should probably praise me now for being clever enough to come up with that one. I didn't even have to fall asleep to do it.
Duh! Cops can't lie! If you ask what you suspect is an undercover cop "Are you police?", and it turns out that they are in fact an undercover cop, they are legally required to then surrender their cover and answer truthfully. It's a little-known legal loophole that only very smart people know! Undercover be damned!
#17
Old 08-01-2012, 01:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by grude View Post
Have you ever even watched an episode of COPS?!?

They arrest guys who pick up a woman who says "hey wanna party?" it is shocking how easy it is to get sweeped up in these stings. Hey guys on the prowl for casual sex, be careful!
Shoot! I'd better watch out. I just got asked this, and I answered: "Sure, I always want to party! I could even bring some salsa and sweet potato chips, which are like tortilla chips but with quite a bit more fiber."

I would hope they give you a phone call and one internet posting, so I could keep you good people up to date.
#18
Old 08-01-2012, 01:26 AM
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Just get two of your wingmen to stage a phony mugging, and see if she intervenes or starts talking into her collar. If not, you're in the clear!

Johns...johns have wingmen, right?
#19
Old 08-01-2012, 01:36 AM
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You guys fail to see their psychology. Female undercover cops disguising as hookers are usually rookie cops, total newbies. They only treat that job as a steping stone to better, more respectful roles. Therefore they have little motivation to reveal their body.

Moreover, because America is relatively sexually conservative in the Western world, if you reveal your body parts to a suspect, and he got arrested then your collegues would very likely to know that you got naked, this is BAD reputation for you, any female cop with a brain would not do that.

In conclusion, revealing body parts for an undercover cop is a big NO-NO. Even if she does it, she's still damned in terms of social reputation etc. Therefore a female cop is very UNLIKELY to do that. And my technique is exactly intended to exploit this psychology.
#20
Old 08-01-2012, 01:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by griffon502 View Post
. . . Female undercover cops disguising as hookers are usually rookie cops, total newbies. . . . if you reveal your body parts to a suspect, and he got arrested then your collegues would very likely to know that you got naked, this is BAD reputation for you, any female cop with a brain would not do that.
. . .Even if she does it, she's still damned in terms of social reputation etc. Therefore a female cop is very UNLIKELY to do that. And my technique is exactly intended to exploit this psychology.
Sounds like you've have a lot of experience with police work. Where do you intend to employ this clever technique?
#21
Old 08-01-2012, 01:59 AM
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Just in case you really are that clueless: everyone in this thread is mocking you.
#22
Old 08-01-2012, 02:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by guizot View Post
Sounds like you've have a lot of experience with police work. Where do you intend to employ this clever technique?
And take video. They love that.
#23
Old 08-01-2012, 02:13 AM
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I have known a few hookers. In general, if a cop is pulling a sting, they're arrested as soon as they get in the car. Cops will be more up front about the transaction than the average man, also. They tell me that they've almost never seen a sting involving a fake hooker targeting the johns. The other way around is much more common.
#24
Old 08-01-2012, 02:22 AM
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Originally Posted by MikeG View Post
Just in case you really are that clueless: everyone in this thread is mocking you.
Pfffft. Pay no mind to the haters, griffon502. They are just jealous that they didn't figure this out themselves.

Quote:
Originally Posted by griffon502 View Post
Female undercover cops disguising as hookers are usually rookie cops, total newbies. Therefore they have little motivation to show their bodies.
Ok, ok, break this down for me (small minds, ya know?): what happens if you get a veteran police-officer who really has a hankering to whip 'em out? What then?? Ingenious plot backfire...
#25
Old 08-01-2012, 02:29 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambivalid View Post

Ok, ok, break this down for me (small minds, ya know?): what happens if you get a veteran police-officer who really has a hankering to whip 'em out? What then?? Ingenious plot backfire...
That's why you pay them with a counterfeit $5 bill - if it's not a cop, what are they gonna do? And if it is a cop, it's not really soliciting because you weren't really going to pay.

C'mon guys, use the psychology!
#26
Old 08-01-2012, 03:20 AM
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Tell the hooker a joke. If her smile reveals any indication of teeth, she's a cop.
#27
Old 08-01-2012, 05:28 AM
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I don't thing I've ever seen a $5.00 hooker. But I'm old and not up on prices for hookers or dope and any of that stuff.
#28
Old 08-01-2012, 08:09 AM
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A $5 hooker? Who do think I am, that young Mr. Rockerfeller?
#29
Old 08-01-2012, 08:21 AM
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Now a five dollar milkshake? Yumm!
#30
Old 08-01-2012, 08:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by grude View Post
Have you ever even watched an episode of COPS?!?

They arrest guys who pick up a woman who says "hey wanna party?" it is shocking how easy it is to get sweeped up in these stings.
I take it that grude has never watched an episode of COPS, because in the numerous hooker sting episodes I've seen over the years, they've never shown one where the john gets busted for simply going with a woman who wants to "party". There's always a discussion of money for sex.

That's not to say that undercover officers are universally rigorous about these matters, but when the COPS cameras are on, that's always what triggers the arrest.

A suggestion for the OP - make sure the "hooker" actually commits a sex act with you before you agree to the transaction - that'll assure you she's not a police officer.
#31
Old 08-01-2012, 08:34 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambivalid View Post
This. Is. Simply. Brilliant.

Thinkin' "outside the box"...That's what this is. I'm quite certain no one has ever had this novel idea before. Quite.
Au contraire, he is most certainly thinking "inside the box". Absolutely by definition.
#32
Old 08-01-2012, 08:35 AM
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I have a better idea. Offer her a hit off your crack pipe. If she takes it, she's a real hooker and you can ask for sex. If she declines, she's a cop. It's foolproof!
#33
Old 08-01-2012, 08:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kayaker View Post
Now a five dollar milkshake? Yumm!
Just pictured Travolta saying 'Goddamn, that's a pretty fuckin' good blowjob!'

Oddly, there were no male masseuses in the picture.
#34
Old 08-01-2012, 08:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambivalid View Post
Duh! Cops can't lie! If you ask what you suspect is an undercover cop "Are you police?", and it turns out that they are in fact an undercover cop, they are legally required to then surrender their cover and answer truthfully. It's a little-known legal loophole that only very smart people know! Undercover be damned!
And if she's wearing pasties with gold tassels, admiralty law applies and you can't be arrested.
#35
Old 08-01-2012, 09:02 AM
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I'm thinking you won't get any real pros in your car without discussing business first. They gotta earn a living.
#36
Old 08-01-2012, 09:04 AM
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Back a while when some bright-bulb started saying "Just ask them to nude model first!" the consensus was that most prostitutes would roll their eyes and tell you to take a hike than waste their time jumping through hoops for a potential score. There's always another guy after you who won't make ridiculous requests and let them get right to business.
#37
Old 08-01-2012, 09:49 AM
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What they dont show on COPS is the stings that never happen, because the hooker/john recognizes something is up. Also, I never heard of an undercover asian massage parlor worker (maybe too much work? I assume their hooking is an upsell to the massage you are giving them.)
#38
Old 08-01-2012, 10:06 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambivalid View Post
Duh! Cops can't lie! If you ask what you suspect is an undercover cop "Are you police?", and it turns out that they are in fact an undercover cop, they are legally required to then surrender their cover and answer truthfully. It's a little-known legal loophole that only very smart people know! Undercover be damned!
Can you then sue them for false advertisement? Or are they obligated to deliver the product they had promised?
#39
Old 08-01-2012, 10:20 AM
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Cracked has done some field research on this question.

http:/ /cracked.com/blog/its-surprisingly-easy-to-accidentally-pick-up-prostitute/ (Link munged because possibly NSFW)
#40
Old 08-01-2012, 10:48 AM
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In case anyone is dumb enough to believe anything they have read in this thread, here's a link to the thread from a guy who picked up street hookers and explained how he avoided arrest:

Ask the guy who used to frequent hookers!

In short:

Do not discuss money or services until she is in the car. If she won't get in the car, drive away. Cops will not get in your car.

Do not ask her if she is a cop. A cop doesn't have to answer honestly.

Even if you get caught with a hooker in your car, the cops won't arrest you unless they have evidence that you solicited sex for payment or that you gave the hooker money or drugs or some other form of payment. If they have no evidence there's no point arresting you.
#41
Old 08-01-2012, 11:28 AM
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I keep reading "undercover" as "underwear." Underwear cops!

Also, I would like to hear the OP say "vulva" to anybody.
#42
Old 08-01-2012, 11:38 AM
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Originally Posted by Gus Gusterson View Post
That thread is crazy interesting.
#43
Old 08-01-2012, 12:25 PM
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Originally Posted by Evil Captor View Post
It's the quality of the blowjob. If it's really good, it's an undercover cop. Those $5 hookers can only get $5 for a reason.
"Frmmmph!"

"Huh?"

<spit><cough>
"FREEZE!"
#44
Old 08-01-2012, 12:51 PM
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Why not first pretend that YOU are the cop? If she is a policewoman she'll laugh at the screwy mix-up and you'll be off the hook.
#45
Old 08-01-2012, 12:59 PM
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Originally Posted by Biotop View Post
Why not first pretend that YOU are the cop? If she is a policewoman she'll laugh at the screwy mix-up and you'll be off the hook.
Impersonating a police officer? That's so crazy the OP just might try it.
#46
Old 08-01-2012, 01:35 PM
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Originally Posted by LouisB View Post
I don't thing I've ever seen a $5.00 hooker. But I'm old and not up on prices for hookers or dope and any of that stuff.
If the OP is regularly encountering $5 hookers, he is posting either from Deadwood circa 1884 or Haiti.

In neither case does he have to worry much about undercover cops.
#47
Old 08-01-2012, 02:01 PM
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A slightly different question: in many European countries, prostitution is legal..but solicitation is not.
How does the business transaction go down, say, in Hamburg Germany?
#48
Old 08-02-2012, 02:16 AM
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Originally Posted by ralph124c View Post
A slightly different question: in many European countries, prostitution is legal..but solicitation is not.
How does the business transaction go down, say, in Hamburg Germany?
There are brothels in Germany. I suppose there's street prostitution too, though.


France fit your bill. Solicitation is illegal, but it still happens. Police might make arrests, bring the girls to a police station and fine them, if they feel like it, or if there has been complaints in the neighborhood, or if someone has decided to "clean" a particular area. It's not something that is constantly or harshly enforced, as far as I know.

I couldn't fill you about the details of a transaction, because I've never used the services of a prostitute.
#49
Old 08-02-2012, 02:29 AM
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Originally Posted by Colibri View Post
If the OP is regularly encountering $5 hookers, he is posting either from Deadwood circa 1884 or Haiti.
...Or Dort Hwy, in Flint, Mi.
#50
Old 08-02-2012, 02:55 AM
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Next time I go to the store, I'm going to put a drill under my shirt. If/when I get stopped, I'll tell the cops that I was merely "borrowing" it, and was planning on returning it when done with my project.

Next time I cruise the projects for some crack, I'll make sure to ask the corner boy if he's a cop - he has to say "Yes" if he is, otherwise it's entrapment.

Last edited by JohnT; 08-02-2012 at 02:57 AM.
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