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#1
Old 08-03-2012, 09:06 AM
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What's on your Fucket List?

I'm sure most everyone is familiar with the term "Bucket List:" a list of things you'd like to do before you die.

See the Wonders of the World, visit Venice, see the Eiffel Tower, ride in a fighter jet, go skydiving....

I recently became acquainted with the idea of a "Fucket List:" a list of things you'd do if you found out you only had a month to live; things you might not do for fear of contracting a deadly disease, or getting thrown in jail for the rest of your life.

Castrate Rush Limbaugh, find out what all the hub-bub is over "bath salts," track down your former soul-mate, sleep with your former soul-mate, kill your former soul-mate (maybe not even in that order!).

So, what's on your Fucket List?

I'd probably try Heroin. No doubt I'd be hooked before I could finish cookin' it up, but I could probably afford to keep fixed up for at least a month.
#2
Old 08-03-2012, 09:30 AM
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Originally Posted by SiXSwordS View Post
track down your former soul-mate, sleep with your former soul-mate, kill your former soul-mate (maybe not even in that order!).
Good times.
#3
Old 08-03-2012, 09:39 AM
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I'd go to Australia and spend my last days learning to surf and drinking Aussie beers with hot Aussie boys.
#4
Old 08-03-2012, 09:42 AM
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Maybe kill some tyrant in a suicide mission?

Try heroin and cocaine, certainly.

Spend all my savings on being pampered.

Okay,no, I'd have to think of my son. But I assume a true Fucket list excludes being responsible for your kids)
#5
Old 08-03-2012, 10:34 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Maastricht View Post
(...I assume a true Fucket list excludes being responsible for your kids)
Up to you. I assume a continuum: some people probably feel that they are off to their final reward and will feel the need to clean up their act; others will feel the world will end once they stop perceiving it, and no debauchery would be too depraved.
#6
Old 08-03-2012, 10:49 AM
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I'd get out of Australia, away from beer drinking surfers
#7
Old 08-03-2012, 10:53 AM
bup bup is offline
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Buy life insurance.

Heroin, sure, why not.

I'd love to blow money on an expensive gorgeous call-girl (or two together), but I think it would hurt my wife, so I still can't even if I'm gonna die.
#8
Old 08-03-2012, 11:26 AM
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What? You can't do these things until you only have a month to live? Uh oh.
#9
Old 08-03-2012, 11:27 AM
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- Tell my grandboss what I *really* think of her.

- Transfer all our debt to my credit cards (yeah, that's right - fuck you, Visa!)

- Eat fugu.
#10
Old 08-03-2012, 11:48 AM
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Take out the entirety of the Westboro Baptist Church. And not to dinner.
#11
Old 08-03-2012, 12:22 PM
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I'd break all the SDMB rules until I was banned for life. Suckers .... You only banned me for a month and you don't even know it. Ha ha ha ha!
#12
Old 08-03-2012, 12:22 PM
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Figure out a way to get all the venom-spewing right-wing slime such as Hannity, Limbaugh, Coulter, O'Reilly, etc. in a room together. Don't know how, but what the hell, this is fantasy land.

Wait for the photo op.

I'd be wearing a BIG suicide bomb.
#13
Old 08-03-2012, 12:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coustralee View Post
I'd get out of Australia, away from beer drinking surfers
How do you feel about north Florida? Perhaps we could arrange a trade?
#14
Old 08-03-2012, 12:40 PM
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ooo Fugu sounds like a good one, neurotoxin roulette!
*Heroin and crack cocaine [already tried nose blow, did nothing for me except numb my front teeth and make my nose run]
*Hm, tell off Queen Elizabeth - I think she should abdicate and give Chuck a shot at the crown before he drops dead. Actually, I think all ruling monarchs and dictators should abdicate for a chosen successor, might reduce unrest.
*Hold the top economists hostage and hit them with a clue by four on exactly why they are full of shit about outsourcing
*spend a month trying out all the strange drugs [except the one you have to snort up on some damned mountain at the ass-crack of dawn that makes you vomit. I hate vomiting.] I know I like shrooms and LSD, so I don't need to do those other than as a fond revisiting. I would need to have a nice safe comfortable womb-like room to do it in, and a couple friends to help me feel safe and comfy.
*deface a national monument - how about painting the statue of Abe Lincoln in Washington.
#15
Old 08-03-2012, 12:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MN_Maenad View Post
Take out the entirety of the Westboro Baptist Church. And not to dinner.
Honestly, I'm kind of surprised some dirt poor dying hobo with a gun hasn't tried to go down this way.

Assuming this happened before the wife and kid... sell everything I have, move to Vegas, blow it on hookers and booze, and blow, and hookers, and booze. Then, rent a really fast car, find a decent spot near the Grand Canyon, and do what Evel Knievel couldn't....
#16
Old 08-03-2012, 01:01 PM
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The main thing I've thought about is taking opiates and benzos--why not go out happy?
#17
Old 08-03-2012, 01:04 PM
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I....damn. Seriously, the only thing stopping you guys from bingeing on cocaine and heroin is your health?

And as for, "I'd go and murder Persons X, Y, Z, and Q", I have no response to that.
#18
Old 08-03-2012, 01:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lemur866 View Post
Seriously, the only thing stopping you guys from bingeing on cocaine and heroin is your health?
...well, it is kind of expensive.

For my own list, I find it more disconcerting that the legal ramifications are the only thing stopping me from killing or maiming. I do recognize that this is a bit of a thought experiment. If the diagnosis really came down, I still don't think I could bring myself to kill someone.
#19
Old 08-03-2012, 01:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by purplehorseshoe View Post
- Transfer all our debt to my credit cards (yeah, that's right - fuck you, Visa!)
Oh, I like this one!!

And I'd also tell a few people exactly what I thought of them too - both good and bad.
#20
Old 08-03-2012, 02:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lemur866 View Post
I....damn. Seriously, the only thing stopping you guys from bingeing on cocaine and heroin is your health?

And as for, "I'd go and murder Persons X, Y, Z, and Q", I have no response to that.
#21
Old 08-03-2012, 02:18 PM
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Originally Posted by romansperson View Post
And I'd also tell a few people exactly what I thought of them too - both good and bad.
Why not do that now? What's the advantage of waiting until you're only a few weeks from death?

If I wanted to tell off my Dad, why would I wait? Or, if there are good reasons not to tell off my Dad, how does my upcoming death change those reasons? I guess if telling off my Dad means he cuts me off financially and even though I hate my Dad I love his money, it makes sense to shut my mouth. But what good is accomplished by telling him he's an asshole and then dying?
#22
Old 08-03-2012, 02:23 PM
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You get the last word in, obviously.

I wasn't thinking about it until now, but hot Aussie surfers, you say? That could be fun.
#23
Old 08-03-2012, 02:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lemur866 View Post
Why not do that now? What's the advantage of waiting until you're only a few weeks from death?

If I wanted to tell off my Dad, why would I wait? Or, if there are good reasons not to tell off my Dad, how does my upcoming death change those reasons? I guess if telling off my Dad means he cuts me off financially and even though I hate my Dad I love his money, it makes sense to shut my mouth. But what good is accomplished by telling him he's an asshole and then dying?
Sometimes it's best to keep one's mouth shut for one's own sake. But dead in a month? There'd be pretty much nothing to lose then.
#24
Old 08-03-2012, 03:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aruvqan View Post
*deface a national monument - how about painting the statue of Abe Lincoln in Washington.
Is this something people really have a desire to do?
#25
Old 08-03-2012, 06:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by purplehorseshoe View Post
- Transfer all our debt to my credit cards (yeah, that's right - fuck you, Visa!)
Don't your heirs have to pay off your credit card debt?

I'd also sign up for a huge amount of life insurance for the wife and kids. Then quit work and spend my last month being with them every day after school. Go see as many national/state parks as possible with them before I die.
#26
Old 08-03-2012, 06:44 PM
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In chronological order:

Get laid one last time.

Start spending more money on food. I'm broke right now and so sick and tired of the same old poor-and-trying-to-be-healthy crap.

Buy life insurance. Set up some kind of foundation advocating on behalf of, and doing scientific research into the treatment of, adult survivors of severe child abuse suffering things like PTSD etc. Make this foundation the beneficiary.

Doom Stephen Harper to a slow and painful death, possibly by poisoning. Maybe find some way to arrange for an anonymous note to be waiting at his hospital bedside saying, "This is for what you did to Canada". But that would take the planning and resources of a supervillain.

Sabotage as much highly-polluting infrastructure as possible. I'm not actually sure whether it would make a difference to future generations, but come on, I've only got a month to plan here!
#27
Old 08-03-2012, 06:52 PM
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Beat the living snot out of Sean Hannity, on the air if possible.
#28
Old 08-03-2012, 06:54 PM
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If your Dad is an asshole, there are two times to tell him he's an asshole. Either right now, or never. If it's not a good idea to tell him he's an asshole today, why would it be a better time tomorrow? Either the world is a better place after you tell Dad he's an asshole, or it isn't. If it will be a better place, then tell him today. If it won't be, then forget about it.
#29
Old 08-03-2012, 07:57 PM
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This is so lame I probably shouldn't even admit it, but the first thing that came to mind was to get through as many of the books on my to read list as I could.
#30
Old 08-03-2012, 08:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lemur866 View Post
I....damn. Seriously, the only thing stopping you guys from bingeing on cocaine and heroin is your health?
I am purely confused. What other reason is there?


Quote:
Originally Posted by The wind of my soul View Post
This is so lame I probably shouldn't even admit it, but the first thing that came to mind was to get through as many of the books on my to read list as I could.
Mmmmm .... yes, yes it is.
Could you consider excoriating a few authors of second-rate books for wasting your time? Then read.
#31
Old 08-03-2012, 09:25 PM
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Originally Posted by corkboard View Post
Is this something people really have a desire to do?
Deface Lincoln's statue by painting it? Sure why not =)

Remember the shitstorm that sheik/prince/whatever got into in LA back in the 70s when he painted all the greek-ish statues around his mansion?
#32
Old 08-03-2012, 09:27 PM
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Originally Posted by MN_Maenad View Post
Take out the entirety of the Westboro Baptist Church. And not to dinner.
+1
#33
Old 08-03-2012, 11:48 PM
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Peyote. Shrooms. LSD.

There's a short list of people who's testicles I'd try very hard to kick into their abdominal cavities.
#34
Old 08-03-2012, 11:52 PM
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Take all I have, find others that need or want it, give it to them.
End things on my terms.
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#35
Old 08-04-2012, 12:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arnold Winkelried View Post
Don't your heirs have to pay off your credit card debt?
The credit card company would have a right to pursue your estate for the balance, but if you go out with a huge debt and no assets, there's not much left for them. Obviously, this works best if you're single with no kids.

I believe that, if you're married and if you ran up that debt during your marriage, your spouse might be on the hook for it, but i'm not really sure about how that works.
#36
Old 08-04-2012, 12:48 AM
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*I'd hire a lookalike Jeremy Renner and Joseph Gordon-Levitt to have a threesome for days.

*Try pot.

*Go to Hollywood and Disneyland on whatever money would normally go to rent / utilities / whatever.

*Come up with some way to make some homophobes pay. Sneak into the Phelps compound and call in a bomb threat and gay porn on all the computers or something.

*Break into a MLB park and slide into home.

*Let some animals about to be euthanized free.

*Gorge at the fanciest restaurant I could find on stuff I've never eaten before.

*Dress up as something bizarre and freak out anyone without a sense of humor.

*Ride in a hot air balloon.
#37
Old 08-04-2012, 01:31 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lemur866 View Post
I....damn. Seriously, the only thing stopping you guys from bingeing on cocaine and heroin is your health?
Also vanity. Don't wanna look like a crackhead.
#38
Old 08-04-2012, 01:37 AM
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A carton of American Spirits. Perhaps a few cigars.
#39
Old 08-04-2012, 05:58 AM
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I'd go and kil... oh, who am I kidding, I'd probably just sit at home and spend all my time programming stupid apps or programs I always meant to make but never bothered. And then lay down and let death come for me when I'm done with that. After saying goodbye to everyone I know.
#40
Old 08-04-2012, 07:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lemur866 View Post
I....damn. Seriously, the only thing stopping you guys from bingeing on cocaine and heroin is your health?
Health? It's the fact that these drugs destroy your future. If they didn't, if they were perfectly safe, legal non addicting drugs that had identical mood/sense altering properties, people would take them all the time.

Get rid of my future... trying a drug doesn't seem as idiotic as it does in real life. Just like a lot of other things we don't do, because we want our lives to be livable in 5 years.
#41
Old 08-04-2012, 08:02 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bup View Post
Buy life insurance.

Heroin, sure, why not.

I'd love to blow money on an expensive gorgeous call-girl (or two together), but I think it would hurt my wife, so I still can't even if I'm gonna die.
I'd have sex with your wife, just one more time.



(Sorry, I couldn't help it! Apologies if I seem to be introducing meanness into this thread...I'm just trying to make a little joke.)
#42
Old 08-04-2012, 09:20 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheesesteak View Post
Health? It's the fact that these drugs destroy your future. Get rid of my future... trying a drug doesn't seem as idiotic as it does in real life.
I guess the various curses of addiction can be summed up as health hazards. Addiction is a vicious, terrible disease. But it tends to start off pretty nice (like marrying a Kardashian). I'd prefer not to turn my brain into mush and chain myself to the rail of sinking ship while watching my friends and family suffer and possibly get dragged down with me.

Many of the most addictive drugs mimic the brain's innate pleasure responses, just amplified. I'd be down for a two-hour orgasm. But I know the consequences--down the road--are pure hell. As Cheesesteak says, remove the "down-the-road" and it's a different ballgame.

I'm not sure why people include things like reading more books, although I too have a list of mundane things I'd like to do before I die. But reading a book doesn't come with lifelong consequences (unless we're talking about the DaVinci Code).
#43
Old 08-04-2012, 03:43 PM
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If I knew I was going to die miserably in pain:
  1. get a credit card I can run up
  2. get body armor, a kick-ass assault rifle, a hand-cannon, a bunch of spare magazines and a tactical vest.
  3. put on a confederate flag t-shirt
  4. while wearing and carrying the above, walk at 1:00 A.M through the worst gang section of town on a Saturday night to the all-night White Castle.
  5. get some sliders
Possible outcomes:
  • I get shot dead
  • I shoot a bunch of gang bangers dead
  • Police detain me
  • I go home and chuckle that I dared anyone to give me shit
#44
Old 08-04-2012, 06:35 PM
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It's interesting that many of these are a little ugly. I guess if it weren't ugly, dangerous, or ruinously expensive, it would be on a Bucket List, though.

I think hot air ballooning should be Bucket, not Fucket. I plan to go soon. It's expensive, but I have a good job, and I might not get a month's warning.

I'm still working on one. The only one I've come up with so far is to have sex with a highly skilled professional. Oh, and a few addictive drugs, but I suspect I can get them from my doctor.
#45
Old 08-04-2012, 06:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lumpy View Post
If I knew I was going to die miserably in pain:
...
the all-night White Castle.
get some sliders
Well, that would take care of it, all right.

Last edited by ElvisL1ves; 08-04-2012 at 06:41 PM.
#46
Old 08-04-2012, 07:46 PM
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I'd try LSD, because it always sounded sort of fascinating to me but I'm far too much of a chicken to do it.

I'd see what the big deal was about getting drunk (yeah, I've never been drunk. Never really wanted to be.)

Go to a karaoke bar and have fun without being self-conscious (I've been told I have a decent singing voice, but I'm really shy about getting up in front of strangers)

Try some foods that I've been reluctant to try (I'm what they euphemistically call a "fussy eater"--I basically have, with a few exceptions, the palate of a 9-year-old Midwestern kid.) :P

Spend a lot of time with the spouse and the cats.
#47
Old 08-05-2012, 05:31 PM
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Start sellin' shit! Destroy my harddrive. Take my kid camping.
#48
Old 08-05-2012, 09:30 PM
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How sad.
#49
Old 08-05-2012, 09:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lancia View Post
Figure out a way to get all the venom-spewing right-wing slime such as Hannity, Limbaugh, Coulter, O'Reilly, etc. in a room together. Don't know how, but what the hell, this is fantasy land.

Wait for the photo op.

I'd be wearing a BIG suicide bomb.
how sad.
#50
Old 08-06-2012, 12:59 AM
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Originally Posted by gms453 View Post
How sad.
Oh ye of little humor.

-SHOPPING SPREE! I'd sign up for one of those pre-approved, no limit, whatever credit cards, and just blow it all on all the crap I wanted.

-I'd prank call every televangelist I could.

-Spray paint, "BUY A GODDAMNED BELT, FATASS!!!" on my neighbor's car (this guy has the WORST case of plumber's ass you've ever seen -- he could probably be arrested for indecent exposure)

-Eat every single thing I love in the world, and get completely, stinking hammered.
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