View Poll Results: Would you reject a man for being 5'7"?
Yes 16 10.96%
No 130 89.04%
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#1
Old 03-01-2014, 04:14 PM
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Women: Would you reject a man solely for being 5'7"? BE HONEST!

...like if a guy around that height came up and asked you out. One of my major insecurities is my height. My expected adult height is unlikely to pass 5'7".

The reason I ask is I have read some really depressing stories that men in this height range wrote. They said how almost every girl said that they could date if he was half a foot taller, even though they even admitted that his looks were a 10.

EDIT: I am very sorry Moderators and Loach. I should have looked at the Forum Display before blindly posting this.
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Last edited by R3d Anonymous; 03-01-2014 at 04:17 PM.
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#2
Old 03-01-2014, 04:36 PM
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I think you're looking for a stereotype that doesn't exist. All things being equal I would pick a man who was 5'7 over a man who was 6 feet tall. I am 5'3 and if they're too tall I have to stand on a stool just to hug them. I prefer someone who is closer to my own height.
#3
Old 03-01-2014, 04:37 PM
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Tall or long?
#4
Old 03-01-2014, 04:44 PM
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I'm 5'5" and, while I ended up marrying a tall man, there was a 5'7" man that I would have married if he had wanted to. I have dated a guy who was 5'3".
#5
Old 03-01-2014, 04:50 PM
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I am 5'9" and while it would be unlikely that I would go out with someone who was 5'7", it wouldn't be the ONLY consideration. One guy I dated was 5'7", we started as friends.

I will admit to a preference for taller men, but I am pretty tall for a woman.
#6
Old 03-01-2014, 04:57 PM
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No.

That's no shorter than the average women anywhere but the Netherlands and the Dinaric Alps.
#7
Old 03-01-2014, 05:10 PM
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Originally Posted by j666 View Post
No.

That's no shorter than the average women anywhere but the Netherlands and the Dinaric Alps.
Then again, I have heard 4'11" girls saying they don't date guys under 6' so...yeah...it seems like in the real world, most girls want a guy MUCH taller than them, and for some reason, the really tall guys like to go for the really short girls.
#8
Old 03-01-2014, 05:18 PM
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I'm with the majority. (Data point, FWIW: I'm 5'5".) While the actors I've crushed on do, for some reason, tend to be tall (like, 5'11" and up), in real life, the guys I've liked, been drawn to and loved most have all been in the 5'6" - 5'8" range.

But it hasn't really had anything to do with their heights. Attraction-wise, I'm more of a face and eyes person than a body person. To use an amusement park metaphor, I would say my personal "you must be this tall to ride this attraction" sign--and, um, YIPE what an unfortunate turn of phrase--would probably be 5'4", but that's my hang-up due to body shape issues. And even so, if the right guy showed up at the turnstile whose only "flaw" was that he didn't meet that minimum? I'd ignore the so-called rules and let him slip inside anyway. (Wow, there's no way to make that metaphor any better. Better stop now.)
#9
Old 03-01-2014, 05:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Anonymous User View Post
Then again, I have heard 4'11" girls saying they don't date guys under 6' so...yeah...it seems like in the real world, most girls want a guy MUCH taller than them, and for some reason, the really tall guys like to go for the really short girls.
Know what girls really don't like? Guys who are hung up on some perceived flaw in themselves, to the point where it makes them bitter and defensive.

I'm a woman who's a B-cup (was an A-cup through college), and if I judged my potential dating success by hearing random dudes say how they need a girl with big tits, you'd think I'd have been totally out of luck. It doesn't work like that, though.

I'm 5'9". I dated a couple guys who were 2-3" shorter than me, one of them for a few years. I've been attracted to more shorter men but they weren't interested in me or the timing just didn't work. I ended up marrying a guy who's 6'3", though. At the time I started dating him, I thought I liked tall, blond-haired, blue-eyed, skinny, pale, and I got just one of those, tall. Claiming you want something doesn't mean that's the only criteria that means anything.

Last edited by Ferret Herder; 03-01-2014 at 05:28 PM.
#10
Old 03-01-2014, 05:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Anonymous User View Post
...like if a guy around that height came up and asked you out. One of my major insecurities is my height. My expected adult height is unlikely to pass 5'7".
My husband of 25+ years is 5'6". Does that answer your question satisfactorily?
#11
Old 03-01-2014, 05:38 PM
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Originally Posted by Ferret Herder View Post
Know what girls really don't like? Guys who are hung up on some perceived flaw in themselves, to the point where it makes them bitter and defensive.
Bingo.

I'm almost 5'11". Although I did end up marrying a man who's taller than I am, I dated several guys who were shorter. The only one I had a problem with was the one who was so self-conscious about it that he broke up with me because standing next to me made him feel so insecure.
#12
Old 03-01-2014, 06:07 PM
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He would be my own height. And the answer is no. Like I said a few days ago, height does not matter to me.
#13
Old 03-01-2014, 06:17 PM
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My husband is 5'7". He's hot.
#14
Old 03-01-2014, 06:25 PM
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A lot of people here are saying "no", but the Dope is rarely an accurate source for how most of the world in reality is. So I am still not convinced.
#15
Old 03-01-2014, 06:29 PM
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Originally Posted by Anonymous User View Post
A lot of people here are saying "no", but the Dope is rarely an accurate source for how most of the world in reality is. So I am still not convinced.
So why did you bother asking here?

Personally, I am attracted to short men.
#16
Old 03-01-2014, 06:31 PM
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Originally Posted by freckafree View Post
So why did you bother asking here?

Personally, I am attracted to short men.
To see if at LEAST the Dope didn't think that way. And maybe if you people had any advice on what to do with this insecurity.

Last edited by R3d Anonymous; 03-01-2014 at 06:32 PM.
#17
Old 03-01-2014, 06:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Anonymous User View Post
A lot of people here are saying "no", but the Dope is rarely an accurate source for how most of the world in reality is. So I am still not convinced.
I recall reading about a study years ago that indicated that women prefer taller men even when they say and apparently believe that they don't care about height. For example, if you take an image of a man and photomanipulate it to change his height and ask women what they think of the man in the picture, the women will typically describe the taller images as looking more confident and successful even though it's the same guy. This doesn't seem to be a subject where people's self-knowledge is very accurate.
#18
Old 03-01-2014, 06:53 PM
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I hear we only like men who graduated from MIT, as well.
#19
Old 03-01-2014, 06:55 PM
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In the other thread on this exact same topic, we found that most women were well under 5'9" and would be happy to date a guy who is taller than them, which is most guys. Including guys who are 5'7".

Do you have any specific "no way!" qualities for women? That's fine, that's normal, everyone has preferences. If you get passed over by someone who doesn't like guys who are at the lower end of normal height, then that's ok, that's her right. You wouldn't have been happy together so everybody wins!
#20
Old 03-01-2014, 06:59 PM
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Originally Posted by Ferret Herder View Post
I hear we only like men who graduated from MIT, as well.
I assume that's meant as some sort of counterpoint but it makes little sense. "Graduated from MIT" isn't a biological characteristic with millions of years of evolution behind it. Nor is there any evidence of that I'm sure, while there's plenty of evidence that women prefer taller men.
#21
Old 03-01-2014, 07:04 PM
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Sex with a guy the same height as you lets you have some fun standing up tricks that a significant height difference doesn't allow for.

Not that I know personally or anything.
#22
Old 03-01-2014, 07:05 PM
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Originally Posted by Der Trihs View Post
I assume that's meant as some sort of counterpoint but it makes little sense. "Graduated from MIT" isn't a biological characteristic with millions of years of evolution behind it. Nor is there any evidence of that I'm sure, while there's plenty of evidence that women prefer taller men.
That's yet another thing that this poster seems to have a bit of a manic focus on, as well. (Check some of his earlier threads.) I thought that insisting that women absolutely want tall men always and are totally deluding themselves was just as helpful of a post as saying that.
#23
Old 03-01-2014, 07:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Ferret Herder View Post
That's yet another thing that this poster seems to have a bit of a manic focus on, as well. (Check some of his earlier threads.) I thought that insisting that women absolutely want tall men always and are totally deluding themselves was just as helpful of a post as saying that.
Oh I am WELL over that. And have been for over a year. I have no clue what college I am going to and am not expecting a top-tier college at all. I just want to get into a good university, but I hardly think about that now.
#24
Old 03-01-2014, 07:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Ferret Herder View Post
That's yet another thing that this poster seems to have a bit of a manic focus on, as well. (Check some of his earlier threads.)
Ah, OK, that makes sense. The MIT thing just seemed like a total non sequitur to me.
#25
Old 03-01-2014, 07:28 PM
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Wish I was 5' 7". (Im 5' 6".)

Here's the cold ugly reality: regardless of what women say, most do not want to date a short guy. It's a deal breaker most of the time. Sorry, but it's the truth.

If you're short, I wouldn't even bother with online dating.
#26
Old 03-01-2014, 07:31 PM
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96% of the guys I have dated have been within an inch or two of my height, and I actively prefer that. When I have dated taller guys, I've found it a bit uncomfortable. I don't want to have to look up to kiss. Maybe I am deluding myself, but I don't think that's very likely. For example, when I was online dating I never even bothered to look at the height.

I'm shallow in plenty of other ways, however.
#27
Old 03-01-2014, 07:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Anonymous User View Post
it seems like in the real world, most girls want a guy MUCH taller than them
Quote:
Originally Posted by Der Trihs View Post
women prefer taller men even when they say and apparently believe that they don't care about height.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crafter_Man View Post
Wish I was 5' 7". (Im 5' 6".)

Here's the cold ugly reality: regardless of what women say, most do not want to date a short guy. It's a deal breaker most of the time. Sorry, but it's the truth.
Short guys are awesome. Whiny men who claim to know what women want are a HUGE turn-off. Huge turn-off.

None of the women in this thread are lying about not having a problem with a man's height. If we don't like you, it's because of you, not your height.
#28
Old 03-01-2014, 07:54 PM
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I'm 5'8", having shrunk an inch due to age and a back injury. The shortest guy I've dated for more than one or two meetups was 5'4". I've dated at least two others who were shorter than I am, and my husband is maybe a half inch taller than me. Short is fine. Bald/balding is fine. Gray is fine. Fat or skinny? Okay. Older? Younger? All good. I've gone out with all of the above, and mostly had a grand time.

The biggest turnoff, however, is lack of confidence. My ex wears an entirely ridiculous toupee, and lies about his age to an absurd degree. That was painfully bad - knowing that he looked like an idiot, that he was so delusional and insecure that he believed that thing on his head made people think he really was 35 versus 50. Not attractive. Same with any guy who focused so pathologically on their own perceived flaws. I dated a GQ model when I was younger. That wasn't great, because he was so neurotic about gaining a pound, or getting a zit, etc. I realize that he had to focus on his appearance, but he seemed afraid of life in general. Kinda like owning the world's greatest sports car, and keeping it in the garage always, because you don't want it to get scratched. Why bother?
#29
Old 03-01-2014, 08:02 PM
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I really go for guys who don't think about their height much.
#30
Old 03-01-2014, 08:03 PM
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Sure I have a preference for tall men, but I have dated and done the nasty with short guys, too. Also have to mention the 6'4" guy I met through internet dating - couldn't finish that coffee date fast enough. He may have been tall, lean and blonde, but even that wasn't enough to get past a complete lack of chemistry between us.

On the other hand, the fling I had with the short guy - unforgettable.
#31
Old 03-01-2014, 08:05 PM
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Originally Posted by Anonymous User View Post
A lot of people here are saying "no", but the Dope is rarely an accurate source for how most of the world in reality is. So I am still not convinced.
Right now the poll's at 42-1 favoring shorter guys. That's pretty convincing. Where are you getting your "reality" information? Most women I know (myself included) reject guys because they're jerks, not because of their height, or lack of it.

5'7 isn't that short, anyway. Isn't that fairly average?
#32
Old 03-01-2014, 08:10 PM
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Average US height is 5'10", so 5'7" is slightly shorter than average.
#33
Old 03-01-2014, 08:14 PM
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Another thing I am noticing. I always hear stories like, "I am married to a short guy right now, but my ex was 5'4!" Exactly, your ex.

Anyway, yeah I suck at confidence. My biggest problem is that I can't hold conversations with girls because I never know what to fucking say. Naturally, I am a little shy and introverted and my mind just goes blank trying to think of what to say that doesn't sound stupid. And even then, I still "derp" and say awkwardly-formed sentences whenever I am talking to a girl that I like.

I know there are a few short guys out there that are successful with women, but it's because they have something else going for them. Me on the other hand, I mean my looks aren't bad, but they aren't good either. Sure I do decently in school, have decent manners and politeness, have really good hygiene and decent clothes, am not fat (actually on the thin side), and have a few hobbies/interests, but I really don't have anything else going for me. I am just a normal guy, except short. It's not like I am that funny or witty, or have this great big confidence that can compensate for my short height.

Plus, I have a bad reputation in school from back in elementary when I used to have problems (I don't have them anymore of course) that caused people to not interact me and as a result, I am a little underdeveloped socially. I have never had more than five close friends at a time. And I still get made fun of a little bit sometimes for practically no reason. I know that reputation will go away when I go to college, but me being underdeveloped socially is still a factor. That's part of the reason I am bad at conversation. And god forbid if a girl playfully teases me while we're talking I have no idea how to respond except with a wider smile.

Last edited by R3d Anonymous; 03-01-2014 at 08:18 PM.
#34
Old 03-01-2014, 08:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Helena330 View Post
Where are you getting your "reality" information?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/in...0193023AAiEbnf

I feel really bad for this guy, and the worse part is...I am going to be in his shoes...if not worse because my looks aren't even that good...
#35
Old 03-01-2014, 08:22 PM
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No one ever got divorced because their husband was too short!! Well, maybe one or two outliers did, but I can tell you that the vast majority got divorced because of other things. They married the guys in the first place, didn't they?

AU, you're using your height as an excuse. I want to slap some sense into you after reading all of the other stuff. Work on building your self-confidence in other areas, stop being so hyper-critical of yourself, and things will resolve for you.
#36
Old 03-01-2014, 08:24 PM
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Originally Posted by Anonymous User View Post
Another thing I am noticing. I always hear stories like, "I am married to a short guy right now, but my ex was 5'4!" Exactly, your ex.
Sorry, there's an extreme typo here.

Correction: "I am married to a tall guy right now, but my ex was 5'4"!"
#37
Old 03-01-2014, 08:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Anonymous User View Post
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/in...0193023AAiEbnf

I feel really bad for this guy, and the worse part is...I am going to be in his shoes...if not worse because my looks aren't even that good...
That's one whiny guy on Yahoo. I couldn't even make it through the whole thing. Believe me, if that's his attitude in real life, his height isn't the problem.

Have you looked at the responses? Most are telling him he's wrong. Here's one:

Quote:
This is VERY extreme. However, the only words I can offer regard my own thoughts as a woman. I am personally MORE attracted to men who are 5'7" to 5'9" and no, I am not just saying that to make you feel better. It's simply the truth. And moreover, I am a very attractive, educated, good person (and I'm 5'7" myself), so I'm not some freak lol. So hopefully you realize that different people are attracted to different things. You must hang out with some VERY shallow and unintelligent people, so involving yourself in some new circles might be a good idea...
Another one:

Quote:
Dude im only 5'4 and the average height for men where i live is 5'11- 6ft. All of my friends are taller than me and my best mate is 6'5! But you know why girls like me? Cos of the way the I play the game. No one can can change the cards they were given, only how they play them to come out victorious. I may be small on the outside but I'm big on the inside, big enough for people much taller than me to respect me for how hard I've worked for my sh1t. They will see it in your eyes what kind of person you really are and that's what will earn you people's love, respect, friendship ect.
#38
Old 03-01-2014, 08:29 PM
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My father was 5'7". Most people I've dated seriously, male or female, were 5'7" or under.
#39
Old 03-01-2014, 08:30 PM
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Originally Posted by Helena330 View Post
That's one whiny guy on Yahoo.
But he's speaking from his own experience. It's not like he was whiny before. He's whiny after all those rejections just on his height.

Last edited by R3d Anonymous; 03-01-2014 at 08:31 PM.
#40
Old 03-01-2014, 08:33 PM
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Look at it this way - any woman who would reject you just for being short is no-one you would want to date anyway. So you have a superpower - you can filter out a good percentage of the sucky women just by being you. How awesome is that, right?

Anyway, I married a dude who is a good handspan shorter than me. All my exes were taller. So yeah, counter-anecdote for you right there.

Frankly, I think the height thing is has become a defensive freudian excuse for you. You think you'll be unsuccessful with women, so you cling to height-bias all you can, since that way you can point to some sort of *reason* beyond your control for your feared lack of success.

Which is fine. A lot of people do that. Some people crush on unavailable people. Some cling to religion. Some "focus on academics". Some people blame the dreaded Friendzone.
You cling to height-bias.

All of this tells me you're just not ready to date. Give yourself some time. Being a late bloomer is fine. It's not a race. Get comfortable at college for a while, then see if you don't feel better.
#41
Old 03-01-2014, 08:40 PM
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So the poll is 45:1 in favor of women dating short guys and you don't believe it... why? Why would 45 complete strangers lie to you?

You are rejecting your data in favor of a presupposition. And I thought you'd be happy to be proven wrong!
#42
Old 03-01-2014, 08:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Anonymous User View Post
Another thing I am noticing. I always hear stories like, "I am married to a short guy right now, but my ex was 5'4!" Exactly, your ex.
I think you mean "married to a tall guy" but in my case, since I do fit that - with the one shorter guy it wasn't a good fit for either of us, the other one ended up being deeeeeeeply closeted gay, so yeah, that's kind of more important than his height. My husband was the next guy who came along, and he hit on me.

So you can see there are a ton of other things to think about, like whether they are actually attracted to your gender and not just repressing things, whether there's a personality match, and so on.

(Or are you suggesting that women should pity-marry assholes, douches, gay men, and other bad matches just because the guy is short and could really use the pick-me-up?)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anonymous User View Post
But he's speaking from his own experience. It's not like he was whiny before. He's whiny after all those rejections just on his height.
How do you know? And why is he chasing after such shallow women?

Like I said, if my reality about hearing so many guys only wanting women with big tits actually was true, I'd never have had a date in my life.

Last edited by Ferret Herder; 03-01-2014 at 08:43 PM.
#43
Old 03-01-2014, 08:47 PM
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Originally Posted by Septima View Post
Frankly, I think the height thing is has become a defensive freudian excuse for you. You think you'll be unsuccessful with women, so you cling to height-bias all you can, since that way you can point to some sort of *reason* beyond your control for your feared lack of success.

Which is fine. A lot of people do that. Some people crush on unavailable people. Some cling to religion. Some "focus on academics". Some people blame the dreaded Friendzone.
You cling to height-bias.

All of this tells me you're just not ready to date. Give yourself some time. Being a late bloomer is fine. It's not a race. Get comfortable at college for a while, then see if you don't feel better.
Septima speaks the truth, here. Some people need to get comfortable in their own skin (literally, even) before they can even think about trying to find someone to love.

And there is nearly nothing more unattractive than desperation. The only guy I managed to attract when I was feeling desperate in high school was a deeply-closeted, deep-in-denial gay male friend. Things got way better after I got comfortable with myself, got self-confidence, etc.
#44
Old 03-01-2014, 08:47 PM
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Originally Posted by Septima View Post
All of this tells me you're just not ready to date. Give yourself some time. Being a late bloomer is fine. It's not a race. Get comfortable at college for a while, then see if you don't feel better.
I am only 16 right now so I am still in high school. I have been crushing on this girl for a little over a month and almost all of February, and that's how I have gotten into this whole spectrum That girl I have a thing for on is a whole different story, and I know it's nothing significant and I am not too worried about that specifically nor am I afraid of rejection.

That's not the point of this thread.

It's just that because of that, all these insecurities I have and have had that I have never bothered to do anything about are becoming much more apparent, and I am also realizing how underconfident I am, which is bringing down my confidence even more because that's even more detrimental.

And the main insecurity is my short height, because that is actually a serious flaw when it comes to dating for men and I have nothing to compensate for it.
#45
Old 03-01-2014, 08:53 PM
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And I am realizing how hard it is for short guys (average ones like me that is, not Tom Cruise) to get girls - here I am already underconfident...only to get held back even more.

Last edited by R3d Anonymous; 03-01-2014 at 08:55 PM.
#46
Old 03-01-2014, 08:59 PM
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I wrote a post for an earlier thread on the same topic that is exactly what I would post here (which is why I'm linking to it instead of typing it all out again ).

And - since I had actually gotten a PM from someone that linked to that post and asked if Jay was real or if I just made it up - I'll flat out say that yes, Jay the short guy is a real guy, really was confident and really did date a lot of hot chicks (since I often had to work Friday and Saturday nights and he'd often stop by to fill up his car and get smokes, so I saw a lot of his dates).
#47
Old 03-01-2014, 09:15 PM
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I am not fully grown yet and right now I am 5'3" and 16 years old. But I am pretty sure that I am getting nowhere past 5'7" unless some great miracle happens and God decides to bless me for whatever reason. In fact, that's pretty good in my case. My growth potential is predicted at anywhere from 5'2" to 5'10".

And sorry for the excessive posting; it's just that this thing locks me out after 5 minutes and I forget to mention something.

Last edited by R3d Anonymous; 03-01-2014 at 09:17 PM.
#48
Old 03-01-2014, 09:25 PM
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Originally Posted by Gatopescado View Post
Tall or long?
This made me laugh way, way too much.

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Originally Posted by Ferret Herder View Post
Know what girls really don't like? Guys who are hung up on some perceived flaw in themselves, to the point where it makes them bitter and defensive.<snip>
This point can't be emphasized too much. Print it out, put it away somewhere, and take it out and think about it again in, say, 10 years.

Prince is 5'2" - do you think this guy has any trouble with the ladies?

Also, even though the average height for men in the US is 5'10", the average height for women is 5'4", so you'd still be taller than most women, if that matters so much to you.

I think it's the same deal as being bald; guys are much, much more concerned about their hair loss than women are. By the time women are in their 30s, they've dated all kinds of assholes, and if you find a guy who is a good guy in every way, but he's got a receding hairline, you couldn't possibly care less about the hair, compared to all the other things that he has going for him. The same is true for height; there will always be a handful of people who care more about hair and height than anything else, but most people are a lot more realistic than that.
#49
Old 03-01-2014, 09:34 PM
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So I have no love life until I am in my 30's?
#50
Old 03-01-2014, 09:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FloatyGimpy View Post
Short guys are awesome. Whiny men who claim to know what women want are a HUGE turn-off. Huge turn-off.

None of the women in this thread are lying about not having a problem with a man's height. If we don't like you, it's because of you, not your height.
I'm not whining or complaining. I am simply telling the truth.

I have quite a bit of confidence, so if I were single again, I dont think I would have a great deal of a problem finding a date. But if I were tall and had nice hair (I'm also bald), it would be much much easier.
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