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#1
Old 06-02-2001, 02:01 AM
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No really. I always hear cultural references and sitcom jokes regarding this practice, but I've never been able to quite figure out how to do it. I put it on pulsating, which makes the most sense, but I'm really unsure as to where to aim it. Any help?
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#2
Old 06-02-2001, 02:06 AM
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Come over and we'll figure it out together in my shower. You'll love it!
#3
Old 06-02-2001, 06:53 AM
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Where's Sigmund Freud when you need him?

Perhaps your problem is you just don't have the right type of shower head. They all work differently. Also I might suggest that the hardest streams aren't always the best. Maybe something nice and moderate, but thin. A pleasurable (with all apologies) Chinese Water Torture if you will.

P.S. I have an opinion on everything, EVERYTHING.
#4
Old 06-02-2001, 06:57 AM
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You might want to make sure it's one of those portable ones. The overhead ones probably aren't good for aiming.



This thread is gonna get a zillion views.
#5
Old 06-02-2001, 07:26 AM
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Well, first off, be a girl (or a REALLY REALLY sensitive guy). Second, get a shower head that's attached to a hose. Third, place the shower head near the Girl-Parts that need pleasurin'. Fourth, find a means in which the stream of water brings the most amount of pleasure. Fifth, call me over to watch. Sixth, repeat ad infinitum.
#6
Old 06-02-2001, 10:48 AM
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My wife says the best way to do it is to use the detachable shower head (duh). Second do like Spoofe said with the possible exception of allowing him to come over (unless you are into that sort of thing).

My wife also says that one of the cool things you can do is take the shower head off so that you have just the hose with a hard stream of water aimed right at or in the ho-ha.

I love my wife.
#7
Old 06-02-2001, 11:00 AM
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Get the detachable kind of shower head with different adjustable water streams. A pair of gravity boots in the shower to get to the stationary kind is not as much fun as it sounds. Trust me on this.
#8
Old 06-02-2001, 11:07 AM
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Quote:
A pair of gravity boots in the shower to get to the stationary kind is not as much fun as it sounds. Trust me on this.
Oooooookay. Not a problem.
#9
Old 06-02-2001, 11:20 AM
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If guests comment on the "purpose" of have the detachable shower with tube, just tell them that it makes it easier to rinse the bathtub after cleaning it.
#10
Old 06-02-2001, 11:28 AM
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Maybe I know robgruver's wife (just kidding), but yes,what he said is the best way, visit the hardware store, ask for a hose that fits your tub faucet (measure it for them first). No need for the shower head thing. A small stream of warm water aimed where you usually use your nifty little finger should do the trick.

Also, for Pete's sake, open the drain before you begin :-)

Another much better way are one of those bathtub spas that let you aim a stream of water there & don't require you to drain all the hot water. These work on guys too.
#11
Old 06-02-2001, 11:55 AM
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And, although it may be pleasureable for some, do not make the mistake of shooting three gallons of water up your ass.
#12
Old 06-02-2001, 12:18 PM
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[i]Very, Very, Carefully...[i]
#13
Old 06-02-2001, 12:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Manservant Hecubus
And, although it may be pleasureable for some, do not make the mistake of shooting three gallons of water up your ass.
*giggle*

Are you speaking from, uh, accidental experience?
#14
Old 06-02-2001, 01:17 PM
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As a huge shower head advocate, heres something in a bit more detail that might make a little more sense for you.

I put the showerhead on pulsate.. but then I push down on the face of the showerhead until all the water pulsates out of just one of the three pulsating spouts. I then make myself comfortable (Sitting on the side of the tub is usually easiest.. but be sure to keep the shower curtain under your arse or you'll flood the bathroom.) =) and I aim directly above or to one side or the other of my clit. *hopping back over to the TMI thread for effect.. well gee, she asked!!*

It takes awhile to build up to it.. but *DAH-AMN!* =)


"Masturbation is the perfect sex because nobody looks at me funny when I scream out my own name."
#15
Old 06-02-2001, 01:18 PM
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Originally Queried by ThisYearsGirl
Quote:
How do I masturbate with a shower head?
In front of your WebCam, of course !!!!



( Sometimes, it's SO much fun to be as diametrically opposed to one's true self as possible. And, in front of thousands of strangers !! )

Originally Posted by Tequila Mockingbird
Quote:
. A pair of gravity boots in the shower to get to the stationary kind is not as much fun as it sounds. Trust me on this.
Hey man, how many times do I have to tell you? You had to ANCHOR the boot hooks THROUGH the tile into the upper substrate, not just use freaking SILICON CAULKING to adhere it !!

Fucking amateurs

Cartooniverse
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#16
Old 06-02-2001, 01:39 PM
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Quote:
Well, first off, be a girl (or a REALLY REALLY sensitive guy).

Oh, I don't know, SPOOFE. My first ejaculatory experience was age 14. Shower at Aunt and Uncle's house.

"Hey, they have a Shower-Massage head ... and it's detachable ..."

A few minutes later, cue the Mormon Tabernacle Choir with the Hallelujah Chorus.
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#17
Old 06-02-2001, 05:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Milossarian
Quote:
Well, first off, be a girl (or a REALLY REALLY sensitive guy).

Oh, I don't know, SPOOFE. My first ejaculatory experience was age 14. Shower at Aunt and Uncle's house.

"Hey, they have a Shower-Massage head ... and it's detachable ..."

A few minutes later, cue the Mormon Tabernacle Choir with the Hallelujah Chorus.
Criminy..this is morphing into another TMI thread...is that a golden retriever I see in the bathroom?
#18
Old 06-02-2001, 05:16 PM
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Learn from SPOOFE (not in that way)

Make sure the toothpaste is FAR, FAR AWAY from you.
#19
Old 06-02-2001, 05:54 PM
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There is another ongoing thread about how some things no longer should come with instructions. It seems now they may be wrong and we need more instructions rather than fewer. At any rate, when I discovered my pecker, I did n't have any instructions but I figured it out on my own pretty quick. Or maybe I've been doing it wrong all these years?
#20
Old 06-02-2001, 05:59 PM
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Quote:
I put it on pulsating, which makes the most sense, but I'm really unsure as to where to aim it.
Are you serious?

If you haven't yet figured out your body enough to know where to touch to make yourself come then I suggest you experiment in less compilicated ways and save the shower head until you at least know "where to aim".
#21
Old 06-02-2001, 06:15 PM
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And the best part is, when you are through, you are already cleaned up. My SO, in a fit of jealous rage, removed my beloved shower head, and installed one of those "rain" shower heads instead. Bummer.
#22
Old 06-02-2001, 07:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Diane
Quote:
I put it on pulsating, which makes the most sense, but I'm really unsure as to where to aim it.
Are you serious?

If you haven't yet figured out your body enough to know where to touch to make yourself come then I suggest you experiment in less compilicated ways and save the shower head until you at least know "where to aim".
Allright, so I've figure where to aim it. I can get myself off fairly well with just my hands, but maybe the water pressure in my neck of the woods is too weak, because I get absolutely nothing out of it. I figured maybe I was supposed to use it in a more general way, rather than just concentrating on my clit.
#23
Old 06-02-2001, 07:13 PM
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*LMAO* Yeah, I don't know if you'd want to be taking masturbation advice from Spoofe unless you want to draw blood.


An exgf would leave the handheld on regular spray, not pulse, spread herself with one hand and let the needles of water walk back and forth across the little man in the boat.

Don't ask me why I share.. *L*
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#24
Old 06-02-2001, 07:50 PM
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Maybe it's just me, but I've never figured out the appeal of the showerhead. Just seems like a waste of water to me...but then, I've heard of girls who haven't figured out how to amuse themselves without playing in the shower, too.
#25
Old 06-02-2001, 09:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Manservant Hecubus
And, although it may be pleasureable for some, do not make the mistake of shooting three gallons of water up your ass.

For the benefit of the doubt, let's just say, don't aim three gallons of ANYTHING into your ass. That really should be in a homeowner's manual.
#26
Old 06-02-2001, 11:00 PM
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-tries to regain breath after fits of laughter-

I'm just glad no one has suggested forgoing the detachable shower head. A little acrobatic, hm? That could be kinda neat..Oh, and those itty bitty stand-up-room-only showers could be a little crammed for space. Big tubs are there for a reason, you know. (Ok, maybe not for this, but hell...)


Oh, and Manservant Hecubus--

And three gallons ? What kind of water pressure do YOU have?
#27
Old 06-03-2001, 12:06 AM
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Merc, remember that we have a Dopefest coming up in two weeks... I'm not the kind to hold grudges, but damn, boy, I can hold my rage until then...
#28
Old 06-03-2001, 12:13 AM
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As long as you aren't holding the toothpaste, SPOOFE...
#29
Old 06-03-2001, 12:39 AM
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Bigguys thread Almost dissuaded me from making this post, but Myself got in the way of me(whew, close one).

Ok-am I really admitting to this? here goes...

I prefer the bath faucet to the removable showerhead. A bit awkward,(blushblush) but eliminates the need to focus on aiming. Kegal(sp?) excersises enhance, as well as moving the pelvis around a bit. Also, belly breathing whilst... taking the water is fairly mind blowing. Let all air out & slowly taking a breath blowing up firstly the abdominal area & work up to collarbone area & hold as long as possible & slowly exhale. Definately adds to the experience.

Do I sound a bit too knowledgeable on this? Perhaps. But a single girl's gotta do what a single girl's gotta do! I'm feeling a bit grimy...must be getting, er, going now.

is this worth a welcome?(please be worth a welcome!)
#30
Old 06-03-2001, 01:44 AM
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Okay, Odieman's next on The List...

#31
Old 06-03-2001, 01:58 AM
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3 out of 4 dentists, SPOOFE...
#32
Old 06-03-2001, 02:25 AM
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I kinda actually found that instead of a massage head to the glans of the penis, the regular shower setting or the fine shower setting on the shower head pointed up to the under-side of the testes feels pretty good... not quite orgasmic, but still, very damned good.
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#33
Old 06-03-2001, 02:31 AM
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Shmoo... let me be the first to welcome you!!! WELCOME SHMOO!!!


**takes you by the arm** ...now for that personal demonstration you promised...
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#34
Old 06-03-2001, 03:06 AM
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Shower Massage (tm) makes this new product called "The Flexible" that "stay's where you put it".
Mount it down low, or install one of those sliding bar thingies, so you can position it just right. Leaves your hands free.
At least that's what I've heard.
Peace,
mangeorge
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#35
Old 06-03-2001, 03:43 AM
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Quote:
Allright, so I've figure where to aim it. I can get myself off fairly well with just my hands, but maybe the water pressure in my neck of the woods is too weak, because I get absolutely nothing out of it. I figured maybe I was supposed to use it in a more general way, rather than just concentrating on my clit.
Whew! You had me worried there for a moment. I was thinking that I was going to have to mail you a diagram or map or something.
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#36
Old 06-03-2001, 03:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Shmoo
is this worth a welcome?(please be worth a welcome!)
Shmoo, I cannot describe how welcome you are. And may I humbly say, "How YOU Doin'?"

I have GREAT water pressure, and some other goodies if you like!
#37
Old 06-03-2001, 04:14 AM
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Quote:
let the needles of water walk back and forth across the little man in the boat.
Whammo, you're so colorful! Almost poetic!

Does it seem like Shmoo and SPOOFE are long lost..er, destined to be togther?
#38
Old 06-03-2001, 05:15 AM
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Milo says:
Quote:
Oh, I don't know, SPOOFE. My first ejaculatory experience was age 14. Shower at Aunt and Uncle's house.

"Hey, they have a Shower-Massage head ... and it's detachable ..."

A few minutes later, cue the Mormon Tabernacle Choir with the Hallelujah Chorus.
Silo says:

Well my first ejaculatory experience was when I was 9 or 10 years old... in a bathtub. I was playing with a bottle (yah, I liked to play with toys in the tub ) and by some bizzare stroke of genius I decided to put my "pee-pee" inside it. So, I lifted it up and down a few times (being the *clever* boy I was) and felt a sensation: OooooooOOOO (!) &#%[email protected] - that felt ga-ga GOOOOD! But see - as I got older I played with my weenie more. And more. And MORE. And then I got some peach fuzz 'round my weenie and I was da man... well, ya know because... *I* had "peach fuzz" 'round *my* weenie. Then ::in deeper voice now:: I came to an epiphany! - I can stick my weenie in girls' "hoo hoos" and make them go "wooo!!" ::deeper voice yet:: Then I got a little older and went blind x) No, but seriously - the female population will never be quite the same again. nyuck nyuck nyuck.

Oh,

yeah.

Anyways...



*taking a sip of 'warm' water*

::so who needs a showerhead?::

*SPLORT*
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#39
Old 06-03-2001, 05:20 AM
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Shmoo, from one newcomer to another, "Welcome."

I gotta say, your first post was WAY cooler than mine.
#40
Old 06-03-2001, 05:21 AM
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Silo, I think it's time to stop drinking and posting and go to bed.
#41
Old 06-03-2001, 05:43 AM
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Quote:
Does it seem like Shmoo and SPOOFE are long lost..er, destined to be togther?
Well, I'd have to find out her positions on the Toothbrush issue first...
#42
Old 06-03-2001, 06:46 AM
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This is why I love this message board so!
#43
Old 06-03-2001, 12:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by SPOOFE
Quote:
Does it seem like Shmoo and SPOOFE are long lost..er, destined to be togther?
Well, I'd have to find out her positions on the Toothbrush issue first...

I once used a battery operated toothbrush--is that worth anything?
#44
Old 06-03-2001, 12:31 PM
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Diane,

Can you mail me the diagram? And the 8 X 10 glossies? And the instructional videotape? Thx in advance....
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#45
Old 06-03-2001, 01:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by mangeorge
Shower Massage (tm) makes this new product called "The Flexible" that "stay's where you put it".
Mount it down low, or install one of those sliding bar thingies, so you can position it just right. Leaves your hands free.
At least that's what I've heard.
Peace,
mangeorge
My jaw dropped open when I first saw this commercial. The product is just blantant enough, but then the song? The part that made me spit my cereal out was the "You can put it up high/baby, you can move it down low." Line. The visual was a little kid moving the shower head so that it actually rinsed his hair, but I hardly think that was the design idea.
#46
Old 06-03-2001, 02:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by ThisYearsGirl
[B}]I once used a battery operated toothbrush--is that worth anything? [/B]
Really? How did that work out for you? Tell me how this "came" about. I really do need to know. Skip no details please.
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#47
Old 06-03-2001, 04:44 PM
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Hey, Whammo , you think you want to know? I want to know!! DO you think it's a good long-term investment for those lonely Friday nights?
#48
Old 06-03-2001, 05:04 PM
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Thank you for the welcome! I went home wondering what in the HELL was I thinking to post that???? I'm feeling much about it now, thanks!
#49
Old 06-03-2001, 09:02 PM
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Quote:
Can you mail me the diagram? And the 8 X 10 glossies? And the instructional videotape? Thx in advance....
I do have this new webcam that I almost have figured out.
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#50
Old 06-03-2001, 09:04 PM
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Hey Diane if you need any help getting Netmeeting to work you just let me know!!
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