PDA

View Full Version : Going to church to meet girls?


ivylass
04-13-2003, 09:34 AM
Let me say right off the bat that I'm not Christian. If you are, wonderful. I respect your right to seek the Deities in your own way, and I hope you will do the same for me.

My daughter goes to a Lutheran church on Sundays with her aunt. My son does not go, until today.

He's 13, almost 14. Last Sunday my daughter came home and said, "Jessica asked where you were." He perked up, grilled her about who she was, and decided to go to church.

I have a bit of a problem with this. I don't really want him going to a church to meet girls. I think that's disrespectful to that religion. However, his aunt pointed out most of the other children are going to see their friends too, and I guess it's a much better place to meet a potential mate (I know he's only 13, but for when he gets older) than going to bars.

I asked him this morning why he was going to church, and he said, "To learn about God's angels." Smart kid, that one.

Is it wrong that he's going to church to meet girls?

Khadaji
04-13-2003, 10:06 AM
LOL. As a single 41 year old man, I have been told SO many times to go to church to meet women. I'm not sure whether or not there is a god, but if there is, I'm guessing he isn't going to want me using his house of worship as a dating service...

But I dunno. There are worse places he could be going to meet girls. And even if you don't believe Jesus was the son of god, his message of love isn't a bad one to hear about. I guess I don't think it is so bad.

ArrMatey!
04-13-2003, 10:20 AM
Heh. I've heard it refered to as chocolate flavoring for medicine, ie- The way to sweeten the idea of sitting in a religious service that, at that age, most people aren't really 'into'. Can't say for sure, though; I was the odd one out at that age, and was still into my local place-of-worship's religious message.

Davebear
04-13-2003, 10:33 AM
Originally posted by ivylass
Is it wrong that he's going to church to meet girls? As another non-church goer, it's probably not my place to say whether this is right or wrong. But, it does seem a little disrespectful.

The good news, for you, is that the Lutheran church is among the strictest. (At least, I'm assuming this hasn't changed since the time when I had Lutheran friends.) So, this Jessica is likely to be a "good" girl. I guess that's kind of similar to what your(?) sister was saying, but my point is that, even among church goers, there are differences. If they do hit it off, she's likely to be a good influence on him. :)

bump
04-13-2003, 10:37 AM
I've done that before (as a 28 year old!), and here's how I viewed it. (a caveat- I'm strongly Protestant in my views, but not terribly strong on religion)

The way I saw it was that we can all worship God by ourselves- there's nothing about christianity or salvation that requires us going to church.

Therefore, the real reason for getting together at church is the community that's built within the congregation- something to do, somewhere to go when you're having trouble, etc...

I figured that meeting a prospective girlfriend or wife fell nicely into that second one- hell, a lot of churches kind of encourage that kind of thing- ArrMatey is right- that's usually the plan in most churches for that age group. If not for girls, why else would some 13 year old boy go to church instead of playing some sport, or video game or setting off firecrackers?

handy
04-13-2003, 10:44 AM
A lot of our local churches have singles meetings or services, just for meeting people who are single, so looks like a fine idea to me.

godzillatemple
04-13-2003, 10:55 AM
I stopped going to church when I realized that the only reason I was still going was to meet women. It made me feel very hypocritical, and I haven't been back to church in over 5 years.

Fortunately, I finally met the woman of my dreams via a co-worker who introduced us to each other.

Barry

Already in Use
04-13-2003, 11:13 AM
I'm not religious now, but I was raised Lutheran, and from my understanding of Christianity, church isn't only about worshipping God, but also about the community. Especially with the Lutherans, what with the coffee hours and such. So I wouldn't say it's hypocritical.

Dogface
04-13-2003, 11:54 AM
It's not only hypocritical, it verges upon being blasphemous. If one happens to meet a future wife at a church function, that's one thing, and is probably good. But if ones only purpose in going to services is to score chicks, that's essentially treating church like a single's bar or a brothel.

CBCD
04-13-2003, 12:40 PM
I am an active churchgoer. My daughter goes to 2 different church youth groups. One is at our Episcopal church, the other is at a basement evangelical church started by one of her friend's father. The more friends she has who are actively involved with religion, whether it be Christianity, Islam, or Buddhism, the better.
Regarding your son going to church to see a girl - I say great! If going to meet a girl gets your son exposed to religion - that's wonderful. If he starts to think that church is cool - great! If he starts to think that cool teenagers go to church - then great! You could have a lot more to worry about than that.
We worship corporately. The fellowship is an important aspect of being a Christian.

ivylass
04-13-2003, 02:52 PM
Originally posted by Dogface
It's not only hypocritical, it verges upon being blasphemous. If one happens to meet a future wife at a church function, that's one thing, and is probably good. But if ones only purpose in going to services is to score chicks, that's essentially treating church like a single's bar or a brothel.

I don't think he's going to score chicks, Dogface, as he's not yet 14. I was a little uncomfortable because he hasn't expressed an interest before this girl asked about him, but I figure there are worse places he could hang out with his friends.

The_Peyote_Coyote
04-13-2003, 02:59 PM
Friends have always told me that the best way to meet horny women is to attend church. To date, I've never been desparate to take their advice.

Tixenfleaz
04-13-2003, 03:45 PM
Originally posted by The Peyote Coyote
Friends have always told me that the best way to meet horny women is to attend church.

A fair number of my churchgoing friends have told me the same thing. Suprisingly, I still have enough self respect to not try it.
Besides, after flying under God's radar this long, I see no reason to pop up now. Not that way, at least.

Spavined Gelding
04-13-2003, 05:20 PM
My mother-in-law constantly urged my daughters to go to church to meet men. That at least was her expressed argument for regular church for twenty-something women. The girls rejected her advice out of hand and went so far as to laugh in the old lady's face. I never perused the issue but I suspect that there was some scepticism about meeting men of the appropriate level of suave and excitement in a communion line or at the church basement coffee. Somehow both girls seemed to think it was a lot more efficient to go to bars on Saturday night and sleep in on Sunday.

For what it is worth, the word at the little fresh water college I briefly attended in Springfield, MO, was that the place to pick up high libido women on the verge of bursting out of a life of repression and guilt was at Pentecostal prayer meetings. There was no shortage of prayer meetings in South Missouri in the early 1960s. It never worked for me but I did get to see some really strange carryings on. The other reputed place to start a passionate evening was at the Laundromat patronized by the students at the local Baptist Bible college--on the view that these young women were actively seeking sin so as to have an experience to repent of.

Were I you,ivylass, I would skip church and start hanging around Laundromats. The guy with lots of quarters and a big box of Tide can always make a contact. I suspect you can accurately anticipate the course of the evening from the target's underwear. Stay clear of women with big brown cotton drawers--no future there, not even a brief one.

Michael Ellis
04-13-2003, 05:26 PM
Originally posted by Spavined Gelding
I would skip church and start hanging around Laundromats. The guy with lots of quarters and a big box of Tide can always make a contact. I suspect you can accurately anticipate the course of the evening from the target's underwear. Stay clear of women with big brown cotton drawers--no future there, not even a brief one.

I'll have to try this one.

John Carter of Mars
04-13-2003, 08:41 PM
Churches, Bars and Laundromats are all legitimate places to score chicks. I've used all three at different phases of my life, with about the same percent of favorable results.

Contrary to popular opinion, it's my experience that the girls initially contacted at a church are of no higher (or lower) quality than those initially contacted at the other institutions I've mentioned.

I'll agree with Spavined Gelding's assessment of the girls fresh from a Pentecostal prayer meeting. Hang around the summer revivals that are popular with Pentecostal churches for best results....;)

Guinastasia
04-13-2003, 11:10 PM
My friend and I used to walk to Mass and then try and scope out all the cute guys.

I feel absolutely no guilt about this whatsoever.

sivispacem
04-14-2003, 01:35 AM
Raised Christian, still am, still in my 20's, very secure in my faith - and I clearly remember, especially around your son's age, having the highlight of my week being able to go to church to scope out the hottie I had a crush on at the time.

He's a teenager, where is he going to go where he wouldn't hope to meet girls? Pretty much every church has a youth group or some sort of forum for the youngins to get together, and while they usually discourage "purpling" (boys are blue, girls are red... incidently when I got my first kiss at a church sanctioned dance, my first thought was "oh shit - I'm purpling!") they realize teenagers are teenagers and expect flirting/romance to go down.

Churches are meant to be social places and don't expect teenagers to check their humanity at the door, I'm sure they're just happy to have him there, are perfectly aware he may have some ulterior motives being that he's a 14 year old boy, and are totally fine with it.

And even though you aren't Christian, I'd suggest checking into the Church he's attending to make sure it's healty/safe, there is an off chance it could have connections to one cult or another. Good luck!

04-14-2003, 01:51 AM
Originally posted by Dogface
It's not only hypocritical, it verges upon being blasphemous. If one happens to meet a future wife at a church function, that's one thing, and is probably good. But if ones only purpose in going to services is to score chicks, that's essentially treating church like a single's bar or a brothel.

Bull! At a brothel, you pay your money and get what you paid for. But people have been paying money to churches for long enough to make them all rich, but seldom getting what they paid (or prayed) for.

Green Bean
04-14-2003, 07:05 AM
Originally posted by Spavined Gelding
Were I you,ivylass, I would skip church and start hanging around Laundromats. The guy with lots of quarters and a big box of Tide can always make a contact. I suspect you can accurately anticipate the course of the evening from the target's underwear. Stay clear of women with big brown cotton drawers--no future there, not even a brief one.
LMAO! She's not the one looking to meet girls in church! Re-read the OP!

Susanann
04-14-2003, 07:39 AM
I dont see anything wrong with it, as long as he is honest about it, and as long as he does not claim to believe nor profess to be a christian if he is asked about his faith or lack of it.

On the other hand, if he "pretends" to be a christian when asked by girls or others, then he is a two-faced hypocrite liar and a fraud, and it is definitely wrong. Neither should a non-christian take communion nor engage in any leadership roles at a church(e.g teach sunday school) .

TPWombat
04-14-2003, 08:10 AM
Originally posted by sivispacem
.....while they usually discourage "purpling" (boys are blue, girls are red... incidently when I got my first kiss at a church sanctioned dance, my first thought was "oh shit - I'm purpling Just wanted to be the first to say "purpling" is one ace wonderful expression :D

gex gex
04-14-2003, 09:17 AM
Look on the bright side. Maybe he'll be a positive influence and draw the girls away from the flock.

blakeformayor
04-14-2003, 09:27 AM
Originally posted by Spavined Gelding
Stay clear of women with big brown cotton drawers--no future there, not even a brief one.

Pun intentional?

superkentclark
04-14-2003, 10:17 AM
I met my current gf at a church thing... im not sure what it exactly was, maybe a youth group of a sort. Well, one of my friends that attended the church started it up, and everyone that attended was in high school. Well, to cut to the poin, me and my gf arent very religious. Me, im almost atheist (if that can happen). I openly shared my anti-religious beliefs and often challenged the scripture they quoted me. I dont think i offended anyone, but i thin that sort of thing they like because it makes them develope better ideas about how to relate to more people.

RElating more back to the OP ?, i think that it isnt a bad idea to go to church to meet/get/score/whatever girls, but the downside of that is that most religious people (at least in my experience) tend to be very closed-minded on a variety of issues. This makes discussing even hypothetical topics very excruciating. Their views often can be bigoted.

Look on the bright side, most kids have to be dragged to church. Yours go willingly.

11811
04-14-2003, 12:52 PM
Building on what Bump said about community, I would say it's not right to go to church to look for a mate. Not from the moral perspective, but from the perspective that communities increase not when its members intermarry but when its members marry from outside. So if the son plans to join to meet women, he isn't doing the church a favor.

CalMeacham
04-14-2003, 02:42 PM
Girls who go to church have very high moral character -- none of them has ever agreed to go out with me. I have gone to church with the hope of meeting people, especially female people, and had rotten luck. YMMV.


I did, however, end up as Chairman of the Education Committee. But that's another story.

astorian
04-14-2003, 04:38 PM
I've never gone to church with the goal of meeting women, but I DID meet my wife at church.

So, it can happen.

handy
04-14-2003, 06:17 PM
At least at church you know what religion they are....

SirRay
04-14-2003, 06:47 PM
I don't think this was mentioned yet, but here on Long Island (NY, where all the fun is), Catholic Mass is a pretty darn crappy place to meet single women (take it from a single Catholic guy who has attended Mass fairly regularly for decades) - not sure how widespread a region this holds true in.
There is a phemonon around here where (in general) single women stop attending Mass sometime around age 16 or so, and reappear in their late 20s/30s with their husband and kid(s). There were alternatives in Catholic Youth Groups, dances, nights outs, retreats, outdoor events (former LI YAMers, remember the Fall Young Adult Conference!), but they seem to have fallen by the wayside for some reason (Personally, I think it's due to a lack of single women in their 20/30s around here - single men like me, we're a dime a dozen, but that's another story...)

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: [email protected]

Send comments about this website to:

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Copyright 2018 STM Reader, LLC.

Best Topics: best rotor brands strip clue the vanishing ending deep cut muskrat poison 4x grand strategy endothermic fire urinate on wound denorex shampoo lice i don't fart bypassing egr valve alyssa pronunciation kma 367 license plate frame why do guys scratch their balls all the time the shining blood elevator pepto bismol black tongue hard wired smoke alarms keep going off mosin nagant 91 30 serial number database how many gpm do i need for my house where can i dump gasoline smelling burnt toast stroke why are tugboats so powerful