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View Full Version : Ladies: your impression of boners...hot or not?


Mdr
09-28-2005, 03:47 PM
hey all, i'm new here. I've been reading the SDMB for a long time now and I'm finally posting...i've learned a lot of cool stuff as well as TMI about a lot of folks. Basically, i'm going to see if the SDMB is worth the fee to join, so respond frequently!

That said, my thread is inspired by the 'asking to kiss/is it cute thread' (too lazy to link). Ladies, what is your opinion on boners? A guy kisses you for the first time and has a raging hardon in his pants? Cute? Bothersome? Gross? Sexy? I need to know.

Feel free to expand on other boner related encounters as well, e.g., a guy at a club comes up on you to dance and freak, yet has a raging boner, is it sexy? cute? etc.

REALLY looking fwd to hearing from y'all

ladyfoxfyre
09-28-2005, 03:54 PM
A guy kisses you for the first time and has a raging hardon in his pants? Cute? Bothersome? Gross? Sexy? I need to know.

Feel free to expand on other boner related encounters as well, e.g., a guy at a club comes up on you to dance and freak, yet has a raging boner, is it sexy? cute? etc.

First kiss? Overly enthusiastic.
Dance club? Again, overly enthusiastic and a little worrisome that he can't control his erections in public by the legal drinking age.
If there is close physical contact and kissing with an obvious sexual nature to it all, that would be a little more acceptable. But if junior can't keep Mr. Winky from getting excited every time he's allowed in public, that's a whole different story.

-foxy

The New Guy
09-28-2005, 03:59 PM
Just wanted to interject: You do know that it's an involuntary reaction, right? It's not like sticking your tongue out or wiggling your fingers.

Carry on....

Eonwe
09-28-2005, 04:16 PM
hey all, i'm new here. I've been reading the SDMB for a long time now and I'm finally posting...i've learned a lot of cool stuff as well as TMI about a lot of folks. Basically, i'm going to see if the SDMB is worth the fee to join, so respond frequently!

That said, my thread is inspired by the 'asking to kiss/is it cute thread' (too lazy to link). Ladies, what is your opinion on boners? A guy kisses you for the first time and has a raging hardon in his pants? Cute? Bothersome? Gross? Sexy? I need to know.

Feel free to expand on other boner related encounters as well, e.g., a guy at a club comes up on you to dance and freak, yet has a raging boner, is it sexy? cute? etc.

REALLY looking fwd to hearing from y'all


You're not making fun of my thread are you? You're fired!!!!!! ;)


Welcome to the boards, where you'll learn more about penises and related topics than you'd ever want to know, though if you've been around I guess you know that. :)

And, with regards to your question, I think more clarification is in order. Like, for instance, are you kissing your grandmother?

Erinaceus europaeus
09-28-2005, 04:22 PM
And, with regards to your question, I think more clarification is in order. Like, for instance, are you kissing your grandmother?
You owe me a beer and a new keyboard. :)

Rushgeekgirl
09-28-2005, 04:22 PM
As long as he's not humping on my leg I probably wouldn't even notice.

But that's just me.

Mdr
09-28-2005, 04:25 PM
no way am i making fun of your thread, it ruled! i just took it one step further is all

in response to your question, as much as kissing old women turns me on, i was talking about making initial contact via kiss, crotch or what have you where you have a huge honkin boner in your pants when the situation doesn't require said boner to be present.

for example, back in my youth, when i first got the hang of this 'kissing girls' thing, i would frequently get so turned on that I'd pop the button off my pants w/ hardon during the first kiss. Some girls didn't mind, some CLEARLY did mind, and some pretended that it wasn't an issue. As I kissed more girls and the 'novelty' of hooking up wore off, so too did the boners..but I wonder, just what were those early victims/hookups thinking? Also, many of my female friends back in the college days routinely used to complain about guys at clubs coming up behind them to dance and freak while poking them w/ their pokers. Many said it was gross, but some clearly were lying (as evidenced by her hands down said guy's pants)...

carry on

wasson
09-28-2005, 04:57 PM
I'd just like to chime in and say I've almost posted this identical topic a handful of times, but never actually did. I'm curious as to all the responses.

Mdr
09-28-2005, 04:59 PM
I'd just like to chime in and say I've almost posted this identical topic a handful of times, but never actually did. I'm curious as to all the responses.

as a slight hijack of my own thread, i would like to add that it is definitely NOT a good idea to have a boner while wearing a thin pair of basketball shorts WHILE looking at suggestive pics of Jessica Alba JUST AFTER you've turned your own wife down for sex. Really it's not a good idea.

Taber
09-28-2005, 05:22 PM
as a slight hijack of my own thread, i would like to add that it is definitely NOT a good idea to have a boner while wearing a thin pair of basketball shorts WHILE looking at suggestive pics of Jessica Alba JUST AFTER you've turned your own wife down for sex. Really it's not a good idea.

Some would say turning down your own wife for sex is in and of itself a bad idea ;)

JohnBckWLD
09-28-2005, 05:34 PM
I was asked by the unofficial SDMB Welcome Wagon Comittee to drop into your debut thread and extend our warmest greetings. Normally, we only extend such an honor to our most stellar new guests - and you; young man, appear to fit the bill.

After careful consultation, we unanimously agreed your future at the SDMB looks as bright as a red dwarf star on a sunny day. You obviously have a creative, yet daft sense of humor. Choosing the Hindu equivalent for the term 'Mother Fucker' had us rolling in the aisles and your thought provoking, yet insightful poll question about the cuteness factor of erections left us scratching our heads asking, 'why didn't we think of posing such a deep and meaningful query'. Your common sense advice to avoid having a "boner while wearing a thin pair of basketball shorts" will most certainly have philosophers the world over rewriting the history books or years to come.

It's safe to assume you've already received at least a dozen e-mailed offers from other Doper members begging to paypal your annual subscription fee for you. Please follow board protocol and thank each on of them separately, by name, either here - or in a new ATMB 'thank you' thread. After you accept your new 'Member' status, here are a couple of helpful hints:

1. When using the boards 'advanced search' function, always remember to check [ √ ] the box that reads: Also search in child forums

2. Whereas a large (but rapidly dimininshing) number of members have the word 'Charter' in front of their title, feel free to e-mail a moderator and request they include the word 'Boned' in front of yours. That's a sure-fire guarantee you'll have all the young lady Dopers' eyelasheshes batting at a mile a minute.

In closing, please allow us once again to extend our most sincere salutations. We look forward to your future posts here with bated breath.

parthenokinesis
09-28-2005, 05:52 PM
Part of the problem here is in the choice of vocabulary. Boner, hardon, you might as well call it a stiffy, or say that you got wood. There is nothing sexy there. However, if you were to ask, "Ladies, do you find tumescence alluring?" you add a bit of mouth music to the question, and it doesn't throw the ladies into the silly mindset.

Wolfian
09-28-2005, 06:10 PM
Some would say turning down your own wife for sex is in and of itself a bad idea ;)
Indeed. Don't want either of you to get rusty.

Anastasaeon
09-28-2005, 06:39 PM
Ladies: your impression of boners...hot or not?


My impression of boners? [Mitch Hedberg]I'm for 'em.[/MH]

Also, my impressions of boners are sometimes hot, sometimes not, depending on the medium I used. Plaster cast is often cooler than, say, hot wax. :p


Oh, alright. If I really like the guy, I might find it cute. Possibly even a turn on: "Oooh! He seems to think I'm attractive, too! Or, at least good enough to boink." If I don't like the guy, I pretend not to notice it. It's a bodily function, it happens, sometimes out of your control. I'll allow it, but I don't have to like it. ;)

Jake
09-28-2005, 06:48 PM
First kiss? Overly enthusiastic.
Dance club? Again, overly enthusiastic and a little worrisome that he can't control his erections in public by the legal drinking age.
If there is close physical contact and kissing with an obvious sexual nature to it all, that would be a little more acceptable. But if junior can't keep Mr. Winky from getting excited every time he's allowed in public, that's a whole different story.

-foxy
With all due respect, speaking for manhood, that Thing has a mind of it's own!
Many times, in class or otherwise when I was in public, up started junior. Embarassing as it was, well, use your imaginaton. I'm older now and this dosen't pop up as often as it used to.
"Is that a roll of quarters in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?"

Pride of the Peaches
09-28-2005, 07:40 PM
If I'm with a guy I really like then I am definitely all for . . . tumescence (haha, gotta remember that one). When I'm with a guy I really like I can barely keep impure thoughts out of my head either. I appreciate it when a guy can stand at attention right away . . . Seems like the tumescence of the "overly" eager is more reliable for longer periods of time too.

Other guys? Probably just ignore it, if I even noticed it . . . If I'm not into a guy, I'm probably not going to be paying a whole lot of attention to his genitals anyway.

Heehee . . . "boners" . . .

FlyingRamenMonster
09-28-2005, 09:05 PM
Depends who it is, really. If I like the guy I'll find it funny. If I don't like him I'll have to resist the urge to run screaming to the other side of the room.

Sierra Indigo
09-28-2005, 09:47 PM
Boners = Hott!!

Well, at least Mr Indigo's are :D

I don't care much either way for the casual boner. They're amusing when they happen in nervous situations (like high school, when boys had to give talks at the front of the class. Penis would definitely ensue).

If I'm watching sexy things, like pr0n, then boners are definitely much better than the flaccid member. Un-erect penises just look funny.

Jillyvn
09-28-2005, 10:42 PM
If I'm attracted to a guy, I'm invariably flattered by the erection, whenever it occurs. And, yes.. I've been told it is often involuntary (like the morning hard on), but I still persist in thinking it is my inherent hotness that causes it, every time.

If I'm immune or not attracted to the guy, I always find it amusing.

Read into that what you will

picunurse
09-29-2005, 02:56 AM
Hey, I'm old enough that a "boner" is slang for a mistake.. of course, we could still be referring to the same thing. :D

Malacandra
09-29-2005, 04:00 AM
Some would say turning down your own wife for sex is in and of itself a bad idea ;)

Others would say: now the bitch knows how it feels. :rolleyes:

Siege
09-29-2005, 04:33 AM
Put me down for amused and flattered, please. The only circumstances under which it would be offensive would be if the gentleman's other behaviour was also being offensive and I felt he was making sure I was aware of it. Let me give you a couple of examples.

A few years ago, I was talking with a fellow I know at a weekend gathering. We were both unattached and we both find each other attractive, but we were conceding that if we got into a long term relationship, we'd tear each other apart. I told him he'd be great for a one-night stand or even the odd casual roll in the hay and meant it, but unfortunately, I'm not into that. We sighed over mutual attraction that wasn't going to go anywhere and got up to dance a slow dance. As we did, I became aware that he was erect and it was pressing against me. Under the circumstances, it was sweet and a bit sad, not to mention evidence that he wasn't lying when he said he was attractive.

A different situation could have gone a bit worse. I was friends with a man who had an open marriage and was hoping I'd be one of his partners. I'd told him that, while I valued his friendship, I didn't feel comfortable doing so. We were lying on the couch one evening, with me against the back of the couch, and he had told me he found me attractive. As we talked, I found myself pinned against the back of the couch by the evidence of his attraction. I nervously brought this to his attention. He immediately got off the couch, apologized, and is still slightly embarrassed about the incident to this day. Because, in part, of the way he reacted, he is one of my closest and most trusted friends. I've seen him under pressure, if you will and know he will behave honorably.

Madarchod welcome to the SDMB. That's an interesting question and I'm glad you asked it. I assure you, if we ever meet and for some strange reason you honor me with an erection, I will take it as a compliment!

CJ

Ponder Stibbons
09-29-2005, 06:41 AM
Minor hijack: Did you know that occasionally Batman has had problems with boners (http://superdickery.com/seduction/3.html)?

Often involving Robin, no less! :eek:

Shirley Ujest
09-29-2005, 06:54 AM
I. Choosing the Hindu equivalent for the term 'Mother Fucker' had us rolling in the aisles and your thought provoking, yet insightful poll question





I see great things in this young one.

WhyNot
09-29-2005, 07:10 AM
For me, it's not the erection that can be offensive, it's what you do with it.

If it's a tentative first kiss or a dance floor, don't be grindin' up on me. Please! If, immediately after that tentative first kiss, things get a little more enthusiastic, by all means, clasp me to your manly frame and let me feel the rigid thrust of your swollen manhood pressing on my womanly bits - but unless I've got at my tongue halfway down your throat, there's no need for our pelvises to meet. (Ballroom dancers excepted.)

Anaamika
09-29-2005, 08:02 AM
I rarely ever notice. If I did notice, somehow, as Rushgeekgirl says, as long as he wasn't trying to use it then and there I wouldn't really care.

Mdr
09-29-2005, 08:54 AM
After careful consultation, we unanimously agreed your future at the SDMB looks as bright as a red dwarf star on a sunny day. You obviously have a creative, yet daft sense of humor. Choosing the Hindu equivalent for the term 'Mother Fucker' had us rolling in the aisles and your thought provoking, yet insightful poll question about the cuteness factor of erections left us scratching our heads asking, 'why didn't we think of posing such a deep and meaningful query'. Your common sense advice to avoid having a "boner while wearing a thin pair of basketball shorts" will most certainly have philosophers the world over rewriting the history books or years to come.



In closing, please allow us once again to extend our most sincere salutations. We look forward to your future posts here with bated breath.


wow, thanks! appreciate it! i love the SDMB, particularly at work where i frequently get the 'boredom boner' and then have way too much time on my hands to ponder questions such as "how did this boner happen? why? is this is a sign that I'm in the wrong job? How visible is this boner if I got up right now and walked around the office? Does it have to hurt this bad?! Is this a good sized boner?" I could go on and on

clearly my parents wasted a lot of money on my college education. :D

Mdr
09-29-2005, 09:05 AM
Some would say turning down your own wife for sex is in and of itself a bad idea ;)


yeah she really hates that, but like I told her, once you've run a few laps around the track it's all the same goingforward. I found out our couch is not as comfortable to sleep on as I previously thought.

i do however stand by my contention that there is to be no sex during Michigan Wolverines Football, Pistons basketball or Playstation 2 time.

eleanorigby
09-29-2005, 09:06 AM
There are no linked ads below.


How very, very bizarre.

As to "boners" as you so quaintly phrase them--it depends on intent. Yes, they happen, but how YOU react to it will most likely impact how I react.


Um, if we are just meeting and perhaps kissing for the first time, I don't want you as someone said upthread, "grinding away". If you insist on making the presence of said boner known to me, that most likely is the end of things. But then, I was never into casual sex or fuck buddies (which didn't exist when I was in college).

Mdr
09-29-2005, 09:25 AM
But then, I was never into casual sex or fuck buddies (which didn't exist when I was in college).

i was into it in college, and these fuckbuddies you speak of did exist, unfortunately, they weren't interested in me.

Winston Smith
09-29-2005, 09:29 AM
as a slight hijack of my own thread, i would like to add that it is definitely NOT a good idea to have a boner while wearing a thin pair of basketball shorts WHILE looking at suggestive pics of Jessica Alba JUST AFTER you've turned your own wife down for sex. Really it's not a good idea.

Newlywed?

Mdr
09-29-2005, 09:36 AM
Newlywed?

nope 2 1/2 yrs into it....though if you ask her she probably would tell you i still act like a newlywed. She gets pretty pissed off when I tell our single friends to go out and get laid and trade stories, hypotheses and theories of how to accomplish such tasks. She really hates it when I tell her 16 year old cousin in high school to quit wasting time w/ indian girls and go for white/latino girls to get some action. Funnier part is he agreed w/ me :p

FlyingRamenMonster
09-29-2005, 09:41 AM
wow, thanks! appreciate it! i love the SDMB, particularly at work where i frequently get the 'boredom boner'...

You can get boners from being BORED? :eek:

Or is it just you?

Mdr
09-29-2005, 09:59 AM
You can get boners from being BORED? :eek:

Or is it just you?

Og knows I have my own issues, but seriously, whenever i'm deathly bored and/or deathly tired, pop goes the weasel. I don't know why and it can scare me sometimes....I can't get it down either. it's like it's just up and staying there till it damn well wants to go back down. I try pressing it, beating it, punching it, grinding it into the desk, humping something, no luck. The worst was this one time where it popped up in a meeting for no reason and I had to get up and speak!!! i had my hand in my pocket the whole time trying to 'mask' the woody or shove it somewhere where it won't be so noticeable. I wonder if my boss thought i was jerkin my gerken up there?

also if i haven't peed in a while and have to go SUPER bad it will rise, but it usually goes back in hiding once the pressure is released. this could be a whole new topic: how do you unbone your boners?

WhyNot
09-29-2005, 10:11 AM
this could be a whole new topic: how do you unbone your boners?
Believe it or not, there is a GQ answer for this.

But I don't remember what it is.

There's a certain spot (I think on the underside of the penis) that you can give a *thwack* to with the side of your hand and it'll deflate the sucker.

Someone mentioned it once in a "what if I get an erection in front of the doctor?" thread.

Pride of the Peaches
09-29-2005, 10:52 AM
Minor hijack: Did you know that occasionally Batman has had problems with boners (http://superdickery.com/seduction/3.html)?

Often involving Robin, no less! :eek:

Darn, you beat me to it.

Elendil's Heir
09-29-2005, 11:23 AM
A few years ago, I was talking with a fellow I know at a weekend gathering. We were both unattached and we both find each other attractive, but we were conceding that if we got into a long term relationship, we'd tear each other apart.... Under the circumstances, it was sweet and a bit sad, not to mention evidence that he wasn't lying when he said he was attractive. CJ

So he had a big stiffy and a big ego? ;)

The New Guy
09-29-2005, 12:58 PM
Og knows I have my own issues, but seriously, whenever i'm deathly bored and/or deathly tired, pop goes the weasel. I don't know why and it can scare me sometimes....I can't get it down either. it's like it's just up and staying there till it damn well wants to go back down. I try pressing it, beating it, punching it, grinding it into the desk, humping something, no luck.
Uh, in general, the more you touch your penis, the less likely you're gonna make the erection go away. (That is unless you finish what you started).

MovieMogul
09-29-2005, 03:37 PM
There are no linked ads below.


How very, very bizarre.It appears that any time the predominant theme of a thread is sex-related, "Katrina Relief" is the default message in the ad space.

Personally, I tried to make it with Katrina, but she'd have none of it (I always suspected if we'd had a slow dance like the ones people are referring to, she'd have had a change of heart :D )

alice_in_wonderland
09-29-2005, 03:42 PM
It depends on the situation. If it's an occasion where it's appropriate to have a boner - eg - we're snogging - and you're not grinding it into me, unless I'm also grinding into you, then no problem.

If you come into my office to discuss financial documents, and you have an obvious boner, I might be kind of creeped out. Really - the documents can wait - go take care of yourself and comeback when you're not, uh, awake.

It's all about context.

xizor
09-29-2005, 03:46 PM
Time for a paraphrased quote from Dogma :

I know it's wrong, but when God kissed me, I got half a chub

wonderlust
09-29-2005, 07:30 PM
D'oh! *whacks the side of her head*

I always forget to look for them! And once reminded, I always vow to look in the future.

Seriously, as a teen I was completely oblivious to guys' erections, until I started having sex. But then we didn't freak in those days, nor give blowjobs at 12. Only at 15.

As I said in a similar post: all erections are good erections as far as I'm concerned. If I notice someone with one, it makes me watch them with a bit more...erm...interest. Assuming he's not acting like a creep. My favorable opinion may also have to do with the fact that it's been a few months since I've been treated to one.

threemae
09-29-2005, 09:32 PM
A few years ago, I was talking with a fellow I know at a weekend gathering. We were both unattached and we both find each other attractive, but we were conceding that if we got into a long term relationship, we'd tear each other apart. I told him he'd be great for a one-night stand or even the odd casual roll in the hay and meant it, but unfortunately, I'm not into that. We sighed over mutual attraction that wasn't going to go anywhere and got up to dance a slow dance.

Jesus christ! That's the cruelest tease I thing I've heard of in the past year.

Siege
09-30-2005, 04:20 AM
How? It was his idea to slow dance. We'd known each other for a few years, and he knew I don't do one night stands or casual sex for moral reasons. Later that evening, when I stood up to do reach some cards during a card game, he slipped into my chair so I sat down in his lap, to my surprise. We're still friends. The reason I ask is I've got a very low regard for women who tease men and lead men on and I would be shocked to think something I did was considered teasing someone. He knew where he would, and still chose to slow dance with me to a song about regret for a relationship that wouldn't work (I don't remember the title). I'm also not noted for changing my mind, especially when it comes to moral issues. How was that teasing?

By the way, William V., I meant to say, "I knew he was attracted" not "attractive" of course. It must have been a Freudian slip. He really was a damn attractive man, and I realize I probably missed out on a heck of a one night stand. Knowing him, somehow I have a feeling some other lady didn't.

CJ

Coldfire
09-30-2005, 06:39 AM
If I'm attracted to a guy, I'm invariably flattered by the erection, whenever it occurs. And, yes.. I've been told it is often involuntary (like the morning hard on), but I still persist in thinking it is my inherent hotness that causes it, every time.Well, it probably is. The "involuntary" part refers to not being able to stop it. Not that the erection itself is random. :D

wonderlust
09-30-2005, 09:57 AM
Mae West said it best "A hard man is good to find". ;)

MysteryFellow63427
09-30-2005, 04:46 PM
My advice for unboning a boner: clamp down hard on the pubococcygeus muscle for 5-10 seconds, then relax . Repeat as necessary. Eventually you'll tire Pete out and he'll go back to sleep. See below for more information on kegel exercises for men.

(links possibly NSFW)
http://askmen.com/love/love_tip_60/67_love_tip.html
http://4-men.org/kegelexercises.html

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