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View Full Version : "A Mind is a Terrible Thing"--Help Me Remember This Comedy Skit


LiveOnAPlane
01-08-2006, 09:40 AM
A little while ago, a colleague of mine was doing a presentation to us and make a really dumb and funny mistake. He was cool about it, he put his hand over his face, then took it down and, with a really goofy facial expression said, "Give to the college of your choice. Because a mind...is a terrible thing!"

Funny thing was, I remembered that line from a comedy sketch somewhere, somewhen. (I think it was a parody of a pro football player, but can't remember anything else)

I asked him about it after the meeting, but he didn't even remember that much. Just that he'd heard it somewhere, too.

Anyone out there know where this came from?

Colibri
01-08-2006, 09:45 AM
Well, there is this quote, attributed to former Vice President Dan Quayle:

What a terrible thing to have lost one's mind. Or not to have a mind at all. How true that is.

There may have been an Saturday Night Live skit about this as well.

DrMemory
01-08-2006, 09:46 AM
It began as an Television ad for the United Negro Collage Fund. The line was,
"Give to the collage of your choice, Because a mind is a terrible thing to waste."
Ads, if I remember correctly, were in the late 60's-70's.

dinahmoe
01-08-2006, 09:48 AM
I remember this! It was an HBO comedy special back in the 80's. The guy did a bunch of different stereotypes of college football players, and one was a really dumb one who thought his number was 72, but when he looked down, realized it was 27. I was only about 12 when it aired, so forgive me for not knowing who the comedian was. I'll try to google around and see what I come up with.

Llama Llogophile
01-08-2006, 10:00 AM
Bob Nelson, a stand-up comic from Long Island.

In this bit he would put on a big sweater as a football jersey, balloons at the shoulders for pads, and a silly football helmet.

"Let's meet the college all-stars!"

Then he'd repeatedly run up to the mic and introduce himself as various players. One of them was a dumb lineman who gives an extended speech including the line in question.

You're welcome. :)

dinahmoe
01-08-2006, 10:04 AM
Thats awesome. You're back with the answer while I was still putting on my helmet and them sholda-ma-pads.

Mr. Blue Sky
01-08-2006, 10:09 AM
He was introduced on the Rodney Dangefield special "It's Not Easy Being Me". A show that also featured Sam Kinison, Jerry Seinfeld, Roseanne Barr, and Robert Townsend.

Terrifel
01-08-2006, 10:11 AM
"And it must be stopped, in our lifetime!"

Entire college semesters, gone from waking memory forever; yet snippets of improv comedy routines viewed at 1 AM on cable somehow linger.

Come to think of it, there may be a cause-and-effect relationship there somewhere. If I could only recall what else I was doing at 1 AM during that period of my life...

LiveOnAPlane
01-08-2006, 11:07 AM
Hey, thanks. Now I know where to search this thing down at!

You're all the best!

BoringDad
01-08-2006, 11:23 AM
Hey, thanks. Now I know where to search this thing down at!I did the arduous Google search to come up with this site (http://bobnelson.com/video.htm) to buy a video of it.

Lance, University of San Francisco... tight end.

mobo85
01-08-2006, 11:29 AM
Well, there is this quote, attributed to former Vice President Dan Quayle:

I believe the actual quotation, which he introduced as being the slogan for the United Negro College Fund, is something to the effect of "What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or, having no mind can be very wasteful. How true that is."

Wile E
01-08-2006, 03:41 PM
Is this the same routine where he goes on to say that one time he had his head ripped clean off but the doctors sewed it back on and the doctors said he had "dain bramage"?

Turek
01-08-2006, 07:16 PM
"I play football. With a football. On a football field."

Mr. Blue Sky
01-08-2006, 07:40 PM
Is this the same routine where he goes on to say that one time he had his head ripped clean off but the doctors sewed it back on and the doctors said he had "dain bramage"?

Yep. He also did one guy who had his helmet on sideways. When he walked up to the mike, he just grunted his name and walked off with the mike stuck in his helmet.

Greg Charles
01-08-2006, 08:32 PM
"I play football. With a football. On a football field."

"If it was not for football, I would not being playing football today."

Turek
01-09-2006, 07:56 AM
"If it was not for football, I would not being playing football today."

:) Heh, I'd forgotten that line.

UselessGit
01-09-2006, 08:24 AM
Funny... I was actually thinking yesterday, while cleaning the house (it was a heck of a New Year's party) that waste was a terrible thing to mind. That is all.

AskNott
01-09-2006, 08:53 AM
A waist is also a terrible thing to mind.

Sublight
01-09-2006, 09:11 AM
He was introduced on the Rodney Dangefield special "It's Not Easy Being Me". A show that also featured Sam Kinison, Jerry Seinfeld, Roseanne Barr, and Robert Townsend.

I remember that special, it also featured Jeff Altman. Kind of funny that of all those comedians, Altman was the only one who already had a starring TV role under his belt: Pink Lady and Jeff.

Mr. Blue Sky
01-09-2006, 09:13 AM
I remember that special, it also featured Jeff Altman. Kind of funny that of all those comedians, Altman was the only one who already had a starring TV role under his belt: Pink Lady and Jeff.


LA LA LA LA ***There is no such person as Jeff "Butt Steak" Altman **** LA LA LA LA

Ogre
01-09-2006, 09:25 AM
Lance, University of San Francisco... tight end."Next year, I hope to be a wide receiver!"

Marley23
01-09-2006, 09:55 AM
Bob Nelson, a stand-up comic from Long Island.
And that answers a very old question! I remember a kid from my elementary school making a lot of people laugh by doing this routine. I knew it wasn't his, but I never knew who actually created it.

Askia
01-09-2006, 10:11 AM
"Because a mind is a terrible thing. It must be stopped at all costs."

This is one of those instances of a white guy playing a dumb black guy that was just too hilarious to be offensive. There are posters out there who claim it can't be done. It can be done.

Good times. Thanks for reminding me.

MacTech
01-09-2006, 11:48 AM
"i do not go out on the field without my helmet (taps shoulderpads) and my shoulder-me-pads (taps helmet), do not go out on the field without these things on, because you could get seriously killed, i myself when i was a little children, i was playing football with my freinds, and my head was accientally ripped from my body, and my head were layin' in the mud, and my body was running around tackling like this (mimes tackling), somehow somebody put my head back on my body, and the doctors said that i had dain bramage"

"nobody ever know what a umicef is, i do, i seen 'em, they, they look like a umicorn, but they aint no umicorn, they's a umicef, a man with a wayne johnson sticking out the top of their head, please give to umicef, they need your money desperatly......to buy hats, or you could give to the United Negro college Fund, i give to the United Negro College Fund because the mind is a terrible thing....and it must be stopped, in our lifetime.....before i kill somebody, i've been playing football all my life, and if i did not play football, i would not be playing football today.....this has been an announcement from the MFL....no, the NFL, the National Football League, thank you very much..."

LiveOnAPlane
01-09-2006, 02:19 PM
Oh, wow, these lines you all brought up are killing me! (ROFLMAO)

How on earth could I have forgotten them??

I MUST buy that video that BoringDad was so kind as to Google up!

Barrtrack2
11-14-2017, 12:27 PM
Bob Saget

Snowboarder Bo
11-14-2017, 12:33 PM
Let's go to the quarry and throw stuff down there! Someone registered just to post the wrong answer to a thread that had already been answered almost 12 years ago! That's hilarious!

Loach
11-14-2017, 12:38 PM
Let's go to the quarry and throw stuff down there! Someone registered just to post the wrong answer to a thread that had already been answered almost 12 years ago! That's hilarious!

Thatís ok. I think Bob Nelson is still doing the same exact act so time doesnít matter.

neofishboy
11-14-2017, 02:39 PM
From vague memories:

ďOne of the most important pieces of equipment is the cup. It ainít no coffee cup, it ainít no teacup and you sure as hell donít wanna be drinkiní nothing out of it. Watch Ö *punches self repeatedly in groin* Ö (in strained voice) So Ö I donít have my cup on, and I canít see shit right now Ö ď

Teenaged me thought that was some of the funniest shit heíd ever seen.

Snowboarder Bo
11-14-2017, 03:07 PM
Thatís ok. I think Bob Nelson is still doing the same exact act so time doesnít matter.It's hilarious because the question was answered many times, and the new guy still got the answer wrong.From vague memories:

ďOne of the most important pieces of equipment is the cup. It ainít no coffee cup, it ainít no teacup and you sure as hell donít wanna be drinkiní nothing out of it. Watch Ö *punches self repeatedly in groin* Ö (in strained voice) So Ö I donít have my cup on, and I canít see shit right now Ö ď

Teenaged me thought that was some of the funniest shit heíd ever seen.
I dunno if he's still doing the same act, but thanks to the wonders of modern technology, we can still watch the original from Rodney Dangerfield's Young Comedian's Special (https://youtube.com/watch?v=BerJdS2VJhA). (5:05 for the NAACP slogan bit).

Shodan
11-15-2017, 03:01 PM
I can't watch the video. Is that the comedian with two balloons?

"My dream girl." puts the balloons under his jersey

"My dream girl lying on her back." puts the balloons under his armpits

Regards,
Shodan

kenobi 65
11-15-2017, 03:25 PM
I can't watch the video. Is that the comedian with two balloons?

Yes, that's him.

Loach
11-15-2017, 03:32 PM
It's hilarious because the question was answered many times, and the new guy still got the answer wrong.
I dunno if he's still doing the same act, but thanks to the wonders of modern technology, we can still watch the original from Rodney Dangerfield's Young Comedian's Special (https://youtube.com/watch?v=BerJdS2VJhA). (5:05 for the NAACP slogan bit).

But he got it wrong with confidence.

I listen to a lot of comedy podcasts. Most comics follow the code of not shitting on another comic’s act in public. They rip each other to shreds for laughs but most won’t genuinely critique another’s act. One topic I’ve heard discussion is road comics who make a good living playing in clubs using the same act they have been doing for 30 years. It was heavily implied that Bob Nelson was one of those comics.

I can't watch the video. Is that the comedian with two balloons?

"My dream girl." puts the balloons under his jersey

"My dream girl lying on her back." puts the balloons under his armpits

Regards,
Shodan

Yes that’s the one.

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