View Full Version : MEN ! How important is it to have a Moaner? Screamer?

09-08-2000, 11:46 AM
Yes, I'm talking about while doing the dirty deed !!

I'm embarressed to be asking this... but I just need to know .... do you NEED to hear moans and screams to know your lover is enjoying herself?

My husband and I have been discussing this lately, I admit I am quiet in that area, but it certainly does not mean I don't like it, or that it doesn't feel good.

~~~ runs and hides.... can't believe she asked THIS!

Saint Zero
09-08-2000, 11:48 AM
It's nice to hear something from the other half, in my opinion. :) Moans and screams are nice, but not seriously required in my book.

09-08-2000, 11:50 AM
Not required, but they are a turn-on.

...for ME, anyway. :P

09-08-2000, 11:54 AM
A reaction is necessary.....loud moans and screams, wnile extremely motivating and exciting, aren't needed. If its your thing to just breathe heavily and pant, thats fine as long as I can tell your having a good time. Clutching my head, or scratching my back works too. "Oh god, Yes, yes, yes.....don't stop, don't ever stop" is fine. But if I need to look up and check to see if you've fallen asleep or not (regardless of how much your actually enjoying yourself) you can safely assume I won't be coming back for seconds.

09-08-2000, 11:59 AM
I never thought I would ever have cause to remember this...but a girl I knew in high school was known as the Campbell's Soup Girl. Yes, idiot-girl-me had to have it explained.


Haven't been able to eat the cream soups since.

Ugh...please accept apologies for that. It was BAD.

09-08-2000, 12:00 PM
I agree with Omni, some kind of feedback is required or I feel that you are counting ceiling tiles or napping. Believe me when I say this is one situation where men will take and appreciate directions being given to them. (harder, slower, faster, up, left). But no reaction is just that, no reaction. Doesn't have to be verbal, but do SOMETHING.

09-08-2000, 12:00 PM
Can't answer for the guys, but curious to hear their answers...

<grabs a chair and waits>

09-08-2000, 12:00 PM
Originally posted by Omniscient
A reaction is necessary...you can safely assume I won't be coming back for seconds.

The only reaction you'll get will be screams of outrage if you cum in a few seconds. :D

09-08-2000, 12:02 PM
Originally posted by struuter
I never thought I would ever have cause to remember this...but a girl I knew in high school was known as the Campbell's Soup Girl. Yes, idiot-girl-me had to have it explained.


Please don't post such things before lunch. Now I have to sit here thinking about soup for the next hour. :)

09-08-2000, 12:04 PM
Nen, you're evil...I like that ;).

09-08-2000, 12:06 PM
Originally posted by xizor
Originally posted by struuter
I never thought I would ever have cause to remember this...but a girl I knew in high school was known as the Campbell's Soup Girl. Yes, idiot-girl-me had to have it explained.


Please don't post such things before lunch. Now I have to sit here thinking about soup for the next hour. :)

Mmmmmmmm... *wink*

09-08-2000, 12:10 PM
While I've never been with a woman who resembles the Kim Cattrall character from Porky's( called Lassie if I'm not mistaken ), I do like a bit of noise and reaction during sex.

09-08-2000, 12:15 PM
Feedback (in whatever form) is a turn-on. Lying there quietly and limply is a turn-off.

Make noise for the sake of your partner. It will inspire him to greater heights (or lengths).

09-08-2000, 12:16 PM
Don't need it. But I do like it.

The louder, the better. :)

09-08-2000, 12:18 PM
There's absolutely nothing wrong with moaning, screaming, or yodelling during sex. It is our mission to please and feedback only helps us in this department.

Once you have kids things have to change, there would be nothing worse than having one of our kids run in thinking I was killing their mommy... :)

09-08-2000, 12:22 PM
The moans and screams are not necessary. But, given the choice, I'd prefer soft moans. Screaming and yelling just make me think of pain which kinda throws off my rhythm. Given the ultimate choice though, I'd prefer her to talk dirty. :)

09-08-2000, 12:26 PM
<ethnic joke hijack>
How can you tell when a Jewish American Princess is having an orgasm?

When she drops her nail file

</ethnic joke>

09-08-2000, 12:27 PM
Originally posted by Feynn

Yodelling?! Yodelling is only acceptable when accompanied by a sousaphone, accordian and a squad of polka-ers wearing lederhosen. I guess some people will do anything for a little leather in their sex life.

09-08-2000, 12:32 PM
I love to hear my hubby moaning, talking dirty, etc. during sex. The louder the better, IMO. I also love to be able to let loose and be really loud myself.

Unfortunately, like Feynn said, it's not always feasible with kids around, but when we can sneak home for a nooner, wooo hooo!

Stormi, I know it can feel artificial and awkward at first, but you should really give it a try, and encourage your husband to, too. It can add a very exciting dimension to the whole experience.

09-08-2000, 12:34 PM
Gotta say screaming isn't really my cup of tea, but moaning and talking dirty will inspire me to much greater lengths. (Ahem.)

Screaming always reminds me of a scene near the beginning of "Jerry Maguire." Jerry's girlfriend (whose name I don't remember) has mounted him, and is really going to town. She screams "Don't ever stop fucking me!" and Jerry, obviously tired, says "We have to stop SOMETIME."

09-08-2000, 12:48 PM
Okay, I have to replay this conversation for you.

A female friend of mine was concerned because her boyfriend had, on several occasions, had to ask her whether she had had an orgasm. She was quite put out that he couldn't tell. She said, "I mean, I start sweating, and I'm breathing different. Can't he tell that?"

She asked my husband whether he could tell when I have an orgasm. Now, if this is TMI, skip this post.

The NEIGHBOURS probably know when I have an orgasm. Even if I manage to keep quiet, it's by stuffing a pillow in my mouth. There's also, umm, quite a bit of movement, y'know?

My hubby, who later said that the first thought to cross his mind was "How in the hell could I possibly NOT know???" told her yes, he could tell.

Guys, come on. If she started sweating a little, you wouldn't notice that? Aren't you paying attention? :rolleyes:

09-08-2000, 12:52 PM
I was once with a girl who made so much noise she woke people up on the third floor...we were in the basement.

Honestly, though, I think it's nice and all, but simple things like "Ohhh, that's it" or "that feels good, right there" and the like are good, too. I think I'm fairly sensitive and reactive and creative, but it's always nice to get that reinforcement that what your doing feels good and sometimes a scream or loud moan just sounds, well, fake. 'Course, for the groups edification, i'd also like to mention that the times when the woman simply can't speak, but just has to try to catch her breath, well, that's nice, too.

09-08-2000, 12:52 PM
Dammit, I left the second half of my post out!

Anyhow, I later took my rather conservative friend aside and suggested that perhaps some slightly more recognizable visual and audible cues would help. As she was pretty uncomfortable with that idea, I suggested she start slow - grab him hard by the shoulders, or hips, or back.

Seems she tried that out, and both were quite delighted with the results.

09-08-2000, 12:54 PM
I'm sending this over to slythe in IMHO. Frankly, slythe could use something excited screaming women in his life. He's become a bit dull lately.

Saint Zero
09-08-2000, 12:55 PM
Originally posted by KimKatt
...Guys, come on. If she started sweating a little, you wouldn't notice that? Aren't you paying attention? :rolleyes:

Um... by that point we're both sweating. :)

Crunchy Frog
09-08-2000, 01:17 PM
I don't think moans and screams are necessary, but it is nice for some kind of sign that we're doing something right. How else do we know to keep doing whatever we're doing? Screaming can backfire though, as the man may think he's doing an awesome job, when in reality he's accidentally pulling your hair or something.

Una Persson
09-08-2000, 01:38 PM
Can I post too, or is this just for males?

Edward The Head
09-08-2000, 02:03 PM
Oh course screams are needed! just not in my ear, I'm losing hearing in my left ear because of it. guess I need ear plugs.

actually though I do like some noise, I don't like the zombies that just lay there, how do I know if I'm doing it right. :confused:

09-08-2000, 02:08 PM
Just make sure of two things: that it's some kind of feedback, and that it's an honest reaction. No faking, and no exagerating, please. Just let me know if what I'm doing is hot, warm, or freezing your ass off (Which might be your thing, come to think of it).

Overall, I prefer moaning, although making her shout is a pretty nice ego boost.

09-08-2000, 02:09 PM
Can I post too, or is this just for males?


09-08-2000, 02:10 PM
I don't know if a gay guy can post to this, but here goes. I really like to have feedback during sex. For example, I've been seeing a really cute guy who has been completely deaf from birth, so we can't communicate easily during sex. However, I'm observant, and if he moans when I'm doing something, I'll go that much harder. He can't talk, but we communicate really well in bed just from paying attention to each others' reactions. You gotta be attentive with your partner and feel the pace of his or her body's movements.

09-08-2000, 02:50 PM
I don't know how to describe it, but there's a quick, high-pitched little whimper that I've heard on occasion that is most inspiring.

A woman screaming would probably make me laugh.

Side note: Fingernails being raked up my back is an extreme turn-off. Then, I scream.

09-08-2000, 04:19 PM
I think goboy mentioned the key words: being attentive with your partner. It's amazing how much better you can be at something if you're actually paying attention, and sex is no exception.

That said, the cues that KimKatt's friend was giving off might've been a bit too subtle to pick up; KK, I'm glad you talked her into being a bit more obvious!

As to the OP, I'm with the consensus here: visible/audible reaction is good, though it doesn't have to register on the Richter scale. But I have no problem if it does. :)

09-08-2000, 04:22 PM
We're both loud. It was for this reason that we decided to rent a whole house to ourselves. As it turns out, the walls are rather thin and the neighbor's house quite close to ours. Oh well.

I guess I prefer a certain amount of loudness. Doesn't have to be screaming and shouting, though. I'd have to say my single biggest turn-on is hearing her come.

09-08-2000, 04:49 PM
Now everyone thinks I must just lay there, and appear dead?!!
No - I really don't. I do talk dirty to him, I do emit soft moans, I do actively participate!!! I just don't yell YES YES YES at the top of my lungs!!

Thanks for all your views.. quite interesting ;)

09-08-2000, 04:50 PM

Late again. But I do like to wait, Nen.

Feedback. Any kind of response or request is vital! I can't tell you how many women feel 'icky' saying things that work for them or turn them on in the sack. Why not say it and have fun? At that point, your no longer daddies little girl. Speak up!

I like blunt and to the point, with a tad of aggressiveness added to the mix. Tell me to F**k you like an animal!! ..and I will. I'll pull your hands under back and hold them tight enough that you have no control, but loose enough that it doesn't feel threatening.

Laying there while I work away, keeping your peace, while being tactfull, serves no usefull purpose in the act of downright dirty sex!!

If it's not working? Tell me how to do it better. If it is working? MOAN! Show me the joy!

Ahem.. ::Cough::

Ahh, the O.P.

Feedback is an integral part of a mutual and dymnamic relationship. Without feedback, either positive or negative, the relationship cannot move towards the goal of a meaningfull and emotional bond between two partners.

If you prefer to be vocal, then by all means articulate. If you prefer quiet and suductive, then enjoy the peace and serenity.

So long as you take the time and effort to enjoy the moment as much as your partner, then you have achieved the ultimate goal of mutual and equal gratification.

Thank you,

09-08-2000, 04:56 PM
If you always scream, you'll never convince him to get you into the Mile High club.

09-08-2000, 06:50 PM
"Need?" No.

"Like?" Yes!!

"Want?" Hell yes!!

It's very nice to hear your partner enjoying themselves. When I was young (pre-sexual activity) I spent a lot of time worrying I wouldn't be able to give pleasure to my partner. I was quite well-read and the 'women struggle to reach orgasm' theme was quite prevelant in my literature (though in retrospect they were old books even then). Regardless, the end result was me being very sensitive when it came to females enjoying it. I adore hearing moans and groans from a partner.

My first girlfriendwas a very heavy moaner and - when it was very good - a screamer, which embarrassed the hell out of her at times but boy did it feed my ego and any residual insecurities I had left over fromat crappy lierature.

09-08-2000, 06:56 PM
Look, at this point, it's just good to have someone other than myself in the room.


09-08-2000, 10:08 PM
Haven't a clue. As long as it doesn't sound fake, I guess.

09-08-2000, 10:50 PM
Anthracite -
Yes, please post :)

09-08-2000, 11:06 PM
Moans are good; screams are good, but not necessary. The little rhythmic whimper/moan is very inspiring. I take direction well, too--tell me what you want, and I'll do my damnedest to supply it. I know I'm going to have a good time, so I devote myself to making sure my partner has a good time. Any feedback that helps me reach that goal is welcome.

One of my favorite sounds is the sound of a woman having an orgasm.

09-08-2000, 11:33 PM
Stormi, It sounds to me like you're an active participant in things, he just wants you to make more noise.

So--get yourself a compressed air horn (a la major sporting events--no comments from the bleachers, please) and fire it off at the appropriate moment.

While he's on his knees trying to push his ruptured eardrums back into his head, look at him sweetly and say "I thought you wanted me to make more noise, dear."

(I'm not really evil, I just think this would make a great Monty Python sketch.)

Una Persson
09-09-2000, 12:07 AM
Originally posted by Sealemon88
Can I post too, or is this just for males?

OK - I think the sound of a woman vocalizing her pleasure involuntarily is the most erotic sound on earth.

Moaning, whimpering, gasping, crying and sobbing (with PLEASURE, not pain), giggling, talking or babbling as she feels the rise towards the crest of the wave. I don't care for "dirty talk" really at all - at least not the harsh stuff. And no screaming or yodeling, please.

And since I really love women with English accents, probably the most erotic thing I have ever heard is the sound of an English woman moaning, vocalizing - but not screaming - as she reaches orgasm. It makes my toes curl just thinking about it - I need to find an English ex-pat lesbian...

If any ladies would like to mail me some .wav files, especially English ladies.... :)

09-09-2000, 12:18 AM
Screaming and/or moaning?


I figure I'm finished when my partner's eyes roll back, and she/he passes out. :)

Max Torque
09-09-2000, 12:25 PM
In my experience, there are three kinds of women: moaners, screamers, and biters (some of you may have encountered a 'whimperer', which I feel is a subset of the moaner). They're all fine, so long as the screamers don't cause the neighbors to call the police; in any case, some kind of feedback is much appreciated, no matter what the form.

09-09-2000, 12:32 PM
Feedback is important. Otherwise, how can you determine what works and what dosen't? Think of it as positive reinforcement. I have poor self esteem, and need a lot of reinforcing. :)

And even without the feedback, it's very pleasant to hear. Dosn't have to be loud, but something is nice.

Dirty talk is good too, if things are going that way, and as long as it dosn't sound too forced. Or maybe even if it does. An 80's porno style "OHMYGOSH OHMYGOSH OMYGOSH!" is right out, though.

The best sound, though, is that little, involentary breath catch when I first run my hand down the small of her back . . .

Calling on my vast experience of course . . . :(

I figure I'm finished when my partner's eyes roll back, and she/he passes out.

Yeah, I've had victims die prematurely on me too. Bummer, isn't it?

"I've had more time to read the manuels!"

09-09-2000, 01:32 PM
Seeing as how this topic has raised so much difference of opinion, I believe that scientific inquiry is needed.

Please send me one (1) each (moaner, screamer, silent, biter) and I'll get back to you.

09-09-2000, 02:22 PM
I like to hear when a guy moans a bit. Makes sure I am doing the right thing, and it inspires me to be just as vocal, if not more vocal than him.

09-09-2000, 02:47 PM
Thank you, Stormi, for starting this thread. I've lived for many years wondering if I made too much noise because of one idiotic ex-boyfriend.

09-09-2000, 03:23 PM
Feedback, yes. Acting NO!

I love to see and feel i am giving her the best time and the greatest pleasure but I can tell the real thing, even if it is quite subdued, from the overdoing it. I *hate* it when I can tell she's acting. It is a *big* turn off.

09-09-2000, 03:34 PM
Some noise is nice, but I have to mention a girl friend I had. She was the silent type. Not a single moan during sex. However, she had this amazing facial expression that was incredible. Blissful is the closest I can come to describe it. When we where doing missionary style, I just loved to look at her face. When the orgasmic shakes would start, her facial expression went into nirvana. No sound required. The face said it all. I guess it depends on the girl.

09-09-2000, 03:58 PM
I'm with the rest of the guys that say I just want you to enjoy the experience, and any genuine reaction you have is just fine by me.

I've been with some noise-makers in my younger, sluttier days. But I think someone who reacted like Kim Catrall's character in "Porky's" would probably be annoying, mostly because it would probably be disingenuous.

Intimacy and honesty should be interwoven, IMHO.

Here's a kind-of funny, related story. At a newspaper I worked at a couple of years ago, we had a police scanner in the newsroom. Police were dispatched to some trailer park one evening due to a possible domestic dispute; screams coming from a trailer.

You guessed it. A while later the deputy came on the radio and said, "Uh, central dispatch, we'll be (whatever the code is for leaving the scene). There's no domestic dispute here ... in fact, quite the opposite."

09-09-2000, 05:10 PM
I spent years either sleeping with people while their parents were home or while MY parents were home. Now I'm the parent, and I have to be quiet because the KIDS are home. I've found that proper applause (as 'twere) can elicit unheard-of efforts, though; so when given the opportunity I sound off. Not screams....well, not often.

Just POV from a chicky-chick. And I like a certain amount of noise too, but I have to say that if I'm...involved, and I hear a porn line like "yeah, suck that fat cock" it's all I can do not to break into hysterics.

09-09-2000, 08:24 PM
I love when a guy makes noise. Again it goes back to validating what your partner is doing for you. If I know what I am doing is working for my partner, then a little noise encourages me to do more of that. The ultimate is when they make alot of noise when he orgasms.

I would say I am more of a moaner than a screamer, but there have been times when I am sure the neighbors could hear me!!!

09-09-2000, 08:58 PM
Noise is good, I like noise. You definatly want to know your doing SOMETHING right.

I have a screaming story I could tell that is SO FUCKING funny I can't beleive I've never told anyone. I couldn't even tell the nameless faceless masses. 'sides, that'd be a hijack.

09-09-2000, 11:46 PM
Hey, at least its better than hearing "Ow!" and the sound of your face being slapped.

09-10-2000, 04:08 AM
Oh, the timing. Hubby and I just had this conversation yesterday. He says that he likes the noises I make. I though I was too noisy, but he said I'm just right. And I have to say that I like when he makes those "out of control" noises, too. Means I'm doing something right. :D

09-10-2000, 03:48 PM
When Silo comes to town, all the ladies moen around. :D

Once apon a time, long ago, had this girl that made me seriously consider triple-soundproofing my room. My god she was like Krackatoa--you could hear her halfway around the world. I think she triggered a minor earthquake, but I'm not entirely sure of that.

Moaning is good, but don't be too loud.

Subtle moaning is the best. ;)

Then again it's been awhile sine I've had any action. :sigh:

09-10-2000, 03:55 PM
Well, I'm a moaner. Unfortunately there is no one around to hear it lately. :(

09-10-2000, 04:07 PM
I don't care if you moan, but keep it real.
The fake ones sound like "When Harry Met Sally".
Maybe it fooled Rob Reiner's mother, but I thought it just sounded lame.

shhh zzzz
09-10-2000, 09:48 PM
Originally posted by Fonz
I don't care if you moan, but keep it real.
The fake ones sound like "When Harry Met Sally"....

Fake?? That sounds FAKE??? You mean, all this time, I've been doing it wrong? No wonder the men never stick around.

:::slinking off:::

:::electrical device in hand:::

09-11-2000, 11:42 AM
I 'spose back rubs aren't necessary.

Besides, I can't think of any better compliment a woman can give me than waking up all my roommates and everyone on the block.

Sea Sloth
09-11-2000, 12:17 PM
Originally posted by Whammo
I have a screaming story I could tell that is SO FUCKING funny I can't beleive I've never told anyone. I couldn't even tell the nameless faceless masses. 'sides, that'd be a hijack.

WHAT?! Please tell the story! How can you leave us swaying in the breeze like that? No fair! Tell! Tell!

I used to be really quiet until I met current SO. I'm mostly a moaner, but he makes me scream, cry, and say dirty little things too. All in an extremely good way, of course. He's not tight-lipped either. I love the things he whispers in my ear...

09-17-2000, 02:27 PM
Well. Interesting topic, very interesting reading! I'm glad to see there's a variety of likes and dislikes in this area. As for me?

Well, I used to be quiet as a mouse <kids at home, small home, terrified of being overheard>. Now, with only one kid still at home, and a much bigger house... I don't know. Haven't had a chance to find out. :(

There have been a few times when we were truly alone, and I was anything but quiet. However, in lieu of a lot of noise, I do grab him tightly at certain times, I moan softly, and when the big explosion happens, trust me, he is in no doubt whatsoever what is happening with me. I couldn't be still to save my life. Now, if you want to know just what I do that tips him off, you'll have to ask him. I'm not very coherent at the time, if you know what I mean. It's amazing that his back isn't covered with scars, though I've never drawn blood as far as I know. <I can't believe I'm telling you all this! :o>

Come to think about it, he mentioned the other day when we were chatting online that I get a funny peculiar look on my face that he adores. Hmmmm. Now I'm curious as to what that look looks like. <going off to hide in embarrassment>

09-17-2000, 02:32 PM
Oh, and btw, guys, we need feedback too. He does have a habit of laying quite still while I'm.....well, you know. No moaning, no movement, not much reaction at all, until...

Anyway, I found a way to get him to open up to me. I simply stop. And look up at him. When he asks me why, I just say because I thought he wasn't enjoying it at all. The first time I did that, the look on his face was priceless! :p

Now, he's much better at letting me know if I'm doing it right. ;)

09-17-2000, 06:23 PM
Screaming and moaning are much better for the man than the squeak of inflated plastic....

Fairy Princess Kitty
09-17-2000, 06:34 PM
How do you all scream and make that much out of it, I've had orgasms that were just... wow, but screaming? Maybe I'm just not that type of person, I'm the whimpering/moaning type and I have an odd habit of biting my lower lip. Danny if you're reading this just shut up and stop laughing. Guys is that really all that bad? Do you really need the theatrics and the "Oh god, yes baby, yes! Do that again! Oh God!"?


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