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View Full Version : All Bran, I understimated you...


Merkwurdigliebe
08-23-2008, 08:12 PM
So I got all guilty for treating my body like garbage the other day and decided to go for some All Bran cereal. I generally don't eat all that much fiber and all, so I figured it wouldn't hurt. Now I've never had All Bran before, but I've always like bran flakes in general. In fact I always that about Raisin Bran. I didn't like the raisins.

So when I got it, I said aloud, "I wonder why it's in such a small box?" I quickly brushed this concern aside by thinking "I guess most people don't like the taste of bran all that much..."

I don't know if it was the broccoli I ate the night before, or what, but seriously, I was tied to the toilet all day yesterday. Not only that, but today I've not been feeling well in that department either. Just what in the holy hell is this stuff doing to my body?!

Now I realize why this stuff comes in such a small box. You simply can't eat it every day. It must be uncomfortable to do so. Then I look on the box and it says, "Take the All Bran Challenge! Eat All Bran for 10 days in a row!"

This leads me to believe this is more akin to torture or medicine than food. It's like, "Eating this stuff will make you shit so hard you won't be able to do it for a week much less 10 days"

What happens if you win the challenge? Do you get a prize? Has this feat ever been accomplished?

Anyway, thought I'd share this with you dopers. I would have put TMI in the title but really, when you read a thread about All Bran, what do you expect?

Of course this stuff never seems to work when I'm actually constipated. That's the problem.

Bryan Ekers
08-23-2008, 08:38 PM
I like Bran Flakes but All-Bran (i.e. the stuff that comes in small boxes and looks like a pile of tiny twigs) definitely isn't something to eat in quantity unless you've built up some kinda high-fiber tolerance. A few tablespoons dumped on top of your regular cereal should give you the benefits without the hassle.

Drink a lot of fluids. You'll be okay.

Gala Matrix Fire
08-23-2008, 08:42 PM
"Colon Blow"? Sounds delicious! (http://milkandcookies.com/link/38165/detail/)

3acresandatruck
08-23-2008, 09:02 PM
Well, if eating broccoli was a notable experience for you, I'd say you're just not used to the fiber yet - heck, I eat 2-3 heads of broccoli every week. You'd do better to build up more gradually (as you doubtlessly realize at this point), but there's nothing unusual about the amount of fiber you ate. I mean, you had a bowl of cereal right? Not the whole box? Here's (http://i302.photobucket.com/albums/nn106/3aaat/misc/produce.jpg) a sample of some of the fresh produce I'd typically eat in 3-4 days (along with some frozen and canned stuff), and there's no way it's too much fiber. Plus, I get more fiber from stuff like oatmeal, barley, etc.

teela brown
08-23-2008, 09:37 PM
From some television comedian's routine, years ago, about All-Bran:

"Instead of putting a toy prize inside the box, they put in a roll of toilet paper.

The cartoon mascot is an image of Tony the Tiger, squatting."

Yeah, it doesn't take much bran to do the trick. I make a low-sugar homemade granola, and have learned to add only a little bran to it, or it's too much of a good thing.

Qadgop the Mercotan
08-23-2008, 11:40 PM
I eat a cup of All Bran every morning for breakfast, M-F. Every day at lunch I mix a halfcup of All Bran in Yogurt.

Bran is exercise for one's colon.

Overdo that first workout, and you're going to be a hurting cowperson.

My colon is now my strongest organ!

Bryan Ekers
08-24-2008, 01:36 AM
My colon is now my strongest organ!
Well, working in a prison as you do, it's perfectly logical to beef up one's defenses.

Biffy the Elephant Shrew
08-24-2008, 10:00 AM
I always liked the National Lampoon parody of The Prophet, written by "Kehlog Albran."

Merkwurdigliebe
08-24-2008, 01:56 PM
So yeah, I'm fine now. But honestly, you guys eat a lot of broccoli? I mean it seems quite often to be eating it several times a week. But I do eat it with some regularity. I go through phases with it really. I really want it at times and others I don't bother.

But the point about the broccoli was that I ate it raw. I am not sure if I've ever eaten so much raw broccoli.

You guys just don't know how big that bowl was! If QtM is only eating a cup with a "strong colon" I feel i'm lucky i didn't blow a gasket. I see you take a break for the weekend though! Why don't you go for the All Bran Challenge?

Spice Weasel
08-24-2008, 02:04 PM
Fiber has the opposite effect on my body than it appears to have for others--it makes my digestive system calm and comfortable. I eat vast quantities of fiber to treat severe IBS. Try FiberOne. Their cereal and their chewy bars are awesome, but you really do have to work your way up slowly. Start with say, 20gs a day and work your way up to 40. Seriously, I'm a fiber champion. I cannot say enough about the wonders of fiber.

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