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Is_it_safe?
01-04-2010, 02:27 PM
I got hair dye on my skin and needed to get it off in a hurry. Specifically it was around my neck. I used magic Eraser. It did remove the dye. Some months later I still have the marks of the chemical burns.

So, can I expect these to disappear over time? And what things have you done that are similar. Things that seemed like a good idea at the time and just weren't?

Ludovic
01-04-2010, 03:00 PM
....at band camp....

Cat Whisperer
01-04-2010, 03:51 PM
Hee hee hee - Magic Eraser. Whenever I've burned myself, the marks take forever to fade, but they do fade.

Well, recently in our new house, I cleaned the bathtub glass with CLR - I let it drip down onto the metal holding the glass, and I have big streaks on what used to be nice-looking metal. I used to let it do that all the time with the chrome and glass shower doors - this obviously is not the same metal.

Rabies
01-04-2010, 03:54 PM
Holy crap! You got chemical burns from the Magic Eraser or from the dye? Dude that sucks. Try Mederma, it's a pretty useful scar treatment cream.

Mahna Mahna
01-04-2010, 03:56 PM
FYI, the next time this happens, the correct solution to getting hair dye off your skin is diluted hydrogen peroxide. Just pour onto a cotton ball and swab the dyed skin gently to remove the dye. It's usually a good idea to keep a bottle around for disinfecting small wounds anyways, and it's incredibly inexpensive.

And yes, the scars will fade with time, but there's a good chance you'll have faint reminders for the rest of your life. But just look on the bright side.... at least you didn't try the same trick using Javex. :)

My latest dumbass move involved using hot water to clean a brand-new reusable water bottle. More specifically, hot water from a boiling water dispenser. Into an uninsulated aluminium bottle. I learned the hard way that a) aluminium conducts heat wonderfully and b) the boiling water dispenser really does dispense boiling hot water. I'm just lucky that I didn't drop the water bottle (which is usually my instinctive reaction when I discover I'm grabbing a scalding hot object), because I'd have scalded the rest of me in the process.

Mahaloth
01-04-2010, 03:58 PM
Wait. What gives you a burn? Dye, Magic Eraser, or the combination of the two?

Mindfield
01-04-2010, 04:02 PM
I didn't know Magic Erasers had chemicals. I thought they were just foam designed a specific way that allowed them to do what they do.

Ferret Herder
01-04-2010, 04:12 PM
I didn't know Magic Erasers had chemicals. I thought they were just foam designed a specific way that allowed them to do what they do.
Me too - I thought they were just a particularly clever microabrasive. Perhaps you've just managed to scar yourself?

robby
01-04-2010, 04:14 PM
I got hair dye on my skin and needed to get it off in a hurry. Specifically it was around my neck. I used magic Eraser. It did remove the dye. Some months later I still have the marks of the chemical burns.

So, can I expect these to disappear over time? And what things have you done that are similar. Things that seemed like a good idea at the time and just weren't?You couldn't have gotten "chemical burns" from a Magic Eraser. It doesn't contain any chemical cleaners (apart from the inert, non-toxic substance the sponge itself is composed of). The sponge is just a piece of plastic, composed of melamine plastic resin. Melamine is a hard plastic used for dishes, etc. For the Magic Eraser sponge, the hard plastic is formed into a type of foam. It removes stains by basically sanding them away from surfaces.

Cite (http://snopes.com/medical/toxins/eraser.asp).
Another cite (http://home.howstuffworks.com/magic-eraser.htm).

You may have given yourself an abrasion from the sponge, or you may have rubbed the hair dye into your skin, but you couldn't have gotten a chemical burn from the Magic Eraser itself.

Mahna Mahna
01-04-2010, 05:26 PM
Wait. What gives you a burn? Dye, Magic Eraser, or the combination of the two?

My WAG is that the Magic Eraser created small abrasions on the OP's skin, which were then badly irritated by the dye.

Permanent hair dye contains several harsh chemicals and has been known to cause severe skin reactions even on healthy, unbroken skin (most packages warn against using the product if skin is already irritated in any way)... which means it's not entirely unbelievable that the OP would have cause a major reaction after scrubbing with an abrasive product.

salinqmind
01-04-2010, 09:42 PM
Last winter I shoved the "sliding" glass door to the deck open to fill up the bird feeder. For some reason, I couldn't quite close it shut again, against the cold and the snow. Today there was a foot of snow on the deck, a dozen blue jays waiting in the tree for me to throw out peanuts, and a smallish flock of cardinals waiting for sunflower seeds. I felt awful about My Little Outdoor Friends, but I didn't dare open that glass door. Waited for Mr. Sali to come home and shovel off the deck, let it be on HIS head if the door won't close!

Katriona
01-04-2010, 10:21 PM
I was gluing a broken fingernail back together, and DH asked me to do something or other. I said, "as soon as my nail's dry," and in an effort to be helpful (so he claims), he said "Don't lick it."

To be silly, I thought I'd pretend to lick it, and actually got it. Nail glue tastes terrible.

Arglefraster
01-05-2010, 07:00 PM
I was gluing a broken fingernail back together, and DH asked me to do something or other. I said, "as soon as my nail's dry," and in an effort to be helpful (so he claims), he said "Don't lick it."

To be silly, I thought I'd pretend to lick it, and actually got it. Nail glue tastes terrible.

Similarly, a while back my husband was walking past me carrying a rather full mug of very hot tea. He says "Don't bump me", so I thought it would be funny to pretend to lunge at him. I misjudged my "fake" lunge, with predictable results. :smack:

kapri
01-05-2010, 09:32 PM
I do this sort of thing all the time, because I'm often not being mindful. Just the other day I had to put a slit in the plastic covering the veggie spareribs I was putting in the microwave and I picked up the closest knife and it just wouldn't cut the plastic, and then it dawned on me that was because it was a serrated knife, and I thought, huh, you probably shouldn't be using a serrated knife for this because they don't cut plastic very well plus you'd get a nasty cut if you slipped . . . oh.

Still wearing the Band-Aid for that act of idiocy.

needscoffee
01-05-2010, 09:37 PM
Someone I am not allowed to name thought her nose spray would do a better job of clearing out her stopped-up sinuses if she squirted her nose while standing on her head leaning against a wall. It did.

Daerlyn
01-06-2010, 08:07 AM
I got hair dye on my skin and needed to get it off in a hurry. Specifically it was around my neck. I used magic Eraser. It did remove the dye. Some months later I still have the marks of the chemical burns.


I did something similar in my teens, except instead of my neck it was my forehead, and instead of a magic eraser it was Mr. Clean.

The dye did not come off. I did, however, rub a number of nice holes in my skin around my hairline.

Maus Magill
01-06-2010, 08:19 AM
You do not get chemical burns from Magic Eraser. You abraded yourself, then probably rubbed bacteria into the wound.

Basically, you rubbed yourself with fine grit sandpaper which had previously been used on the floor, or whatever you had last cleaned with it.

Try cleaning the area with rubbing alcohol or H2O2, then apply neosporin and cover with clean gauze.

Poysyn
01-06-2010, 12:06 PM
I once asked my husband to borrow a pocket knife (I was breaking down a box). He handed it to me, then started to say something.

I cut him off with a snarky, "I have used a knife before..."

can you see where this is going?

Turns out he was trying to warn me that the locking mech in the knife was broken, so if you pressed it the wrong way, it would close - on your fingers.

Ended up with a nice symmetrical cut across my knuckles.

Serves me right.

Maus Magill
01-06-2010, 12:52 PM
Dagnabbit - I forgot my story. About ten years ago, I was working on a stage production of Dracula. The play involves a special effect where Dracula causes a mirror to break from across the stage. It was a simple effect, but it involved breaking glass, and had to be reset between shows. The TD and I wrote down very specific safety guidelines for resetting the Mirror, and created a checklist for the crew to follow.

The first Item on the checklist was wear your safety gloves.
The second item was put your safety gloves back on.
I even put a big sign on the back of the mirror that said, "Gloves must be worn when handling this!"

Halloween was a very long day. We had a matinee, an evening performance, and a midnight show. By three in the morning, I was very tired, and just wanted to go home. But - the mirror had to be reset. We did not want to leave broken glass backstage were the cleaning crew might hurt themselves.

Like I said, I was tired and just wanted to get home to my nice, warm bed. I ignored the first two steps on the checklist.

Let's just say that I broke my wife's first rule: Blood must remain on the inside. Also, when you carve a divot out of your thumb, they won't give you stitches.

tdn
01-06-2010, 12:53 PM
Just the other day I had to put a slit in the plastic covering the veggie spareribs I was putting in the microwave and I picked up the closest knife and it just wouldn't cut the plastic, and then it dawned on me that was because it was a serrated knife, and I thought, huh, you probably shouldn't be using a serrated knife for this because they don't cut plastic very well plus you'd get a nasty cut if you slipped . . . oh.

My story is completely different than yours. You see, it was cheese, not spare ribs.

I posted my biggest oops story last year, but it was such a colossal act of idiocy that it bears repeating.

I live in a split-level apartment. That is, to get to the living room from the foyer I have to walk down two stairs. One night this little fact completely slipped my mind. It was like when Wile E Coyote runs off of a cliff but doesn't notice at first.

I broke bones in both of my feet.

Textual Intercourse
01-06-2010, 12:56 PM
I live in a split-level apartment. That is, to get to the living room from the foyer I have to walk down two stairs. One night this little fact completely slipped my mind. It was like when Wile E Coyote runs off of a cliff but doesn't notice at first.

I broke bones in both of my feet.

When you tell this story to people in person do they laugh? Wince? Both?

Swallowed My Cellphone
01-06-2010, 01:15 PM
It was like when Wile E Coyote runs off of a cliff but doesn't notice at first.Isn't it wild when that happens in real life? I was rock climbing in Kentucky a few years ago and somehow just popped off the rock face. I swear I hovered in the air for a second (Wile E would have used that time to raise a little "Help!" sign) and didn't plummet until a few heartbeats had passed.

tdn
01-06-2010, 01:23 PM
When you tell this story to people in person do they laugh? Wince? Both?

Sometimes they laugh, but they always wince. Then come the usual questions, mostly "So how did you get around?" My answer is invariably "Very slowly."

tdn
01-06-2010, 01:25 PM
Isn't it wild when that happens in real life?

Oh yeah. And it's amazing how many thoughts you can have in that moment. The biggest one is "Well, I'm fucked now."

Ferret Herder
01-06-2010, 01:36 PM
Oh yeah. And it's amazing how many thoughts you can have in that moment. The biggest one is "Well, I'm fucked now."
I had a total idiot incident like that where it surprised me that I didn't have that "oh shit" pause.

It was winter two years ago, right before Christmas, when we'd had a big cycle of freeze/thaw periods that left a lot of ice patches under snow. I had to get up early on a Saturday to drive my husband to work so I could use the car for errands, and just threw on a beat-up pair of loafers to walk outside in. Loafers without any real traction. He backed the car out of the garage, like usual, and I went to close the garage door, like usual. Walking right under the corner of the garage. Where lots of water had dripped off, and formed ice under the snow. I turned away from the garage door and walked back under this corner.

Next thing I knew, I was sitting on the ground in pain; my rear end, back of my head, and right wrist hurt. Especially the wrist. I curled up in pain, trying to cradle my wrist, and realized that I had apparently slipped on the ice, fell on my rear and had reflexively put out my hand to try to break the fall, and now something very very bad had happened. When the adrenaline kicked in a short time later, I tried to convince my husband that I would be OK if I stayed home, he needed to go to work, as he was already on the cell phone calling work to tell them that he needed to take me to the hospital. Not being an idiot, he ignored me and took me in. (The head pain? Turns out I smacked the back of my head on the garage siding when I went down.) My wrist was broken.

tdn
01-06-2010, 01:52 PM
(The head pain? Turns out I smacked the back of my head on the garage siding when I went down.) My wrist was broken.

To answer Textual Intercourse's next question -- I'm wincing.

FloatyGimpy
01-06-2010, 02:06 PM
When I was a teenager I came up with a brilliant idea to make my lipstick last for a long time: nail polish!

Without really thinking about it much, I quickly picked out a nice colour and painted my lips. They looked fabulous for about 15 seconds then this horrible burning sensation started. In a panic I leaned over the sink and rubbed water all over my lips to try to get it off but all that did was smear it around a bit.

What takes off nail polish? Nail polish remover! I soaked cotton balls and rubbed and rubbed my lips. It was way harder to get off my lips than when it's on finger nails. In the end I looked like I had clown paint on for a few days. My lips and surrounding skin were bright red, some parts were bleeding a bit, and sooo sore.

Textual Intercourse
01-06-2010, 03:24 PM
To answer Textual Intercourse's next question -- I'm wincing.

Me too. I've just been reminded of an experience I had some 10 years ago. So I bought this new 3 wood driver right. And I'm practicing my swing...in my room. My room has a ceiling. So that I can see things, my ceiling has a light fixture attached to it which in turn has a 2 and a 1/2 foot wide glass bowl on it.

I begin a swing which will send the imaginary golf bowl 300 perfect yards down the fairway. I'll be in prime position for an eagle after this one. Instead of an eagle, I hit the big glass bowl attached to my light fixture with the back of my new club. It split the bowl in two. I watched one of the pieces fall right on my index finger (which was wrapped around the club.) It left this massive gash through which I could see a whole lotta bone. Lots of bleeding ensued.

Thus ended my illustrious golf career.

FallenAngel
01-06-2010, 04:02 PM
I've been cooking and using kitchen tools since I was 8 years old. I keep my knives razor sharp and am always very careful when using them. As a result, I've had far fewer cuts than many other cooks I know.

Still...

Once morning I was cutting slices of cheese off a block. For whatever reason, I didn't grab a chef's knife but picked up the santoku I'd just been using for something else. I put the cheese on the cutting board, grabbed the knife in my right hand, put my left hand on top of the blade and began pressing downward. Of course, since the top edge of the santoku curves downward, and the cheese was nice and hard, my left hand slipped off the blade and sliced the hell out of my index finger when it crossed the point.

Cut (so to speak) to me picking the knife back up after cleaning and bandaging the cut, switching hands and doing the exact same damn thing to the right hand index finger. :smack:

Never have I ever felt stupider, particularly in a kitchen.

Ferret Herder
01-06-2010, 04:14 PM
To answer Textual Intercourse's next question -- I'm wincing.
Worse yet, my rear end was fine. A little sore for a few days, sure, but fine. So was my head, actually - superficial glancing blow, boinged off the aluminum siding. It's probably good that we had aluminum siding rather than brick or wood, else maybe that would have a different result.

My body overreacted and in that split second went "omg we're falling!! Try to break the fall!" - and put out my dominant hand (the other hand didn't do this) to try to stop the fall/protect my butt. :smack: Good job, there.

My husband's reflexes are awesome. He's tucked into a shoulder roll to protect his head when he went over the handlebars of his bicycle and happened to not be wearing his helmet that day. (Fractured a bit of his arm but better that than the head.) He's also whipped the car safely onto a gravel shoulder and immediately back onto the road when confronted with a car coming head-on at a high rate of speed going the wrong way in our lane, fast enough that we didn't even believe it had happened at first.

But me? Oh, I wore slippery shoes in a spot that should have ice on it, and when the inevitable happens, my body says "duh, we're falling, let's put a ton of force on the dominant hand." Gah.

tdn
01-06-2010, 04:19 PM
But me? Oh, I wore slippery shoes in a spot that should have ice on it, and when the inevitable happens, my body says "duh, we're falling, let's put a ton of force on the dominant hand." Gah.

That's probably a very natural reaction. I once had the nickname of Lefty after the second day of owning a skateboard. Better my wrist than my noggin.

shantih
01-06-2010, 05:08 PM
Boy, this is going to seem awfully tame after the harrowing tales so far.

I was in the housewares section of our department store and they had a new product displayed prominently: a special peeler for asparagus spears or carrots. You put the whole thing in one end and pull or push it through, and it comes out peeled. I picked it up, idly curious, and stuck ... my finger ... in. The non-cutting end. Which would have been fine if my finger, like a carrot, had been unattached at the other end; I could have just put it all the way through, no harm. However, since the entire rest of my body wasn't going to fit ...

*sigh*

I managed to maneuver my finger out slowly and carefully enough that I only lightly peeled the one side, so, um, go me?

moron

Katriona
01-06-2010, 07:09 PM
All the snow reminded me of this - last year, after a snow, I headed out to start the car and slipped. Somehow, trying to twist around to grab the mailbox seemed like a good idea.

It wasn't.

Had I just let the fall happen, I might have ended up with a bruised ass and bruised ego, but I wound up with a sprained ankle and a very sore wrist.

I'm a bit of a klutz.

Kevbo
01-06-2010, 07:21 PM
SWMBO wakes me up to tell me that the wall furnace has gone out during the night, would I please re-light it.

So I grab the long butane lighter we keep for such occasions. Pull the trigger several times, and get no fire.

Thinking it may be out of butane, I decide to listen and see if I can hear gas coming out. The way to start the butane flow is to pull the trigger. Did I mention I just got out of bed. Yes, my hair looked like I just got out of bed. Bed-head hair, it turns out, lights on fire quite easily, and burns quickly. No burned skin, but plenty of stinky singed hair.

Thank goodness I wasn't trying to shoot the furnace with a pistol.

Malleus, Incus, Stapes!
01-06-2010, 08:14 PM
Username/thread title win. Perhaps that should have been a clue ("On our next episode of Is_It_Safe, we test that old adage about never sticking a fork in an electrical socket...")

needscoffee
01-06-2010, 10:43 PM
Isn't it wild when that happens in real life? I was rock climbing in Kentucky a few years ago and somehow just popped off the rock face. I swear I hovered in the air for a second (Wile E would have used that time to raise a little "Help!" sign) and didn't plummet until a few heartbeats had passed.Username/thread/post title 2nd place.

Ludovic
01-06-2010, 11:21 PM
Isn't it wild when that happens in real life? I was rock climbing in Kentucky a few years ago and somehow just popped off the rock face. I swear I hovered in the air for a second (Wile E would have used that time to raise a little "Help!" sign) and didn't plummet until a few heartbeats had passed.Yeah, that happened to me one time (the beat before falling, not the rock face thing, although come to think of it......)

ahem. Sorry, back to the real hijack. So there was this body flume at a water park where you could get some air on certain dips? I figured out a way to approach it at a much greater speed than probably thought possible by the parks engineers. So I'm going so fast when I hit the dip in the slide that I get launched into the air.

Long enough for it to sort of go like this.

[.........launch.......]

[.............]

[self: "hey, I've been up here for quite some"]THUDDDDD! Knocked the wind out of me but it was so worth it.

Guinastasia
01-06-2010, 11:40 PM
When I was six I thought it would be fun to take my cat into the bathtub with me. That wasn't such a hot idea.

The dumbest injury, though, had to be the "Black Eye from the Chair." It was probably one of the hottest nights during the summer, and I had a fan sitting on a chair in the middle of the room. I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and stepped on something. I reached down to pick it up, forgetting about the chair there...and smacked my face right on the corner of the chair.

I ended with one HELL of a shiner. The worst part though was explaining explaining to everyone at work the next day what happened. Most of the customers though probably thought I was a victim of domestic abuse.

:smack:

Ferret Herder
01-06-2010, 11:44 PM
The dumbest injury, though, had to be the "Black Eye from the Chair." It was probably one of the hottest nights during the summer, and I had a fan sitting on a chair in the middle of the room. I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and stepped on something. I reached down to pick it up, forgetting about the chair there...and smacked my face right on the corner of the chair.

I ended with one HELL of a shiner. The worst part though was explaining explaining to everyone at work the next day what happened. Most of the customers though probably thought I was a victim of domestic abuse.

:smack:
I nearly had to tell people that I walked into a door, and it was the truth. That's a classic "my husband beats me but I'm not going to admit it" line. I was getting into the passenger side door of our car, and looked over my shoulder for some reason. Meanwhile I was still moving towards the car, and turned my head back during that process. *Whap!* Smacked myself next to my eye with the pointy upper corner of the car door. Fortunately I didn't even bruise, else that would have been awful to deal with.

Guinastasia
01-07-2010, 12:07 AM
I nearly had to tell people that I walked into a door, and it was the truth. That's a classic "my husband beats me but I'm not going to admit it" line. I was getting into the passenger side door of our car, and looked over my shoulder for some reason. Meanwhile I was still moving towards the car, and turned my head back during that process. *Whap!* Smacked myself next to my eye with the pointy upper corner of the car door. Fortunately I didn't even bruise, else that would have been awful to deal with.

I didn't even have a boyfriend at the time, which was probably a good thing -- can you imagine what the poor guy would have had to deal with?

Nava
01-07-2010, 02:17 AM
I didn't know Magic Erasers had chemicals. I thought they were just foam designed a specific way that allowed them to do what they do.

Me too - I thought they were just a particularly clever microabrasive. Perhaps you've just managed to scar yourself?

First, it is possible to "burn" yourself with abrasives. Properly speaking, the wounds are abrasions and not burns, but they look very much like 1-st degree burns and the scar can last years (mine from abrading my wrist with a Spanish rolling blind's raising strip did, this blind was wood and full-height so it was very heavy).

Second, it is not possible to make ANYTHING without chemicals, dagnabit! You two are punished in the corner!

Ferret Herder
01-07-2010, 06:30 AM
First, it is possible to "burn" yourself with abrasives. Properly speaking, the wounds are abrasions and not burns, but they look very much like 1-st degree burns and the scar can last years (mine from abrading my wrist with a Spanish rolling blind's raising strip did, this blind was wood and full-height so it was very heavy).

Second, it is not possible to make ANYTHING without chemicals, dagnabit! You two are punished in the corner!
I know it's made from a chemical, I mean it's not actually exuding anything caustic. :p And I think abrasion is a better way to describe it than a burn. The original description makes it sound like one could damage one's skin even with casual contact with one of these Magic Erasers.

Not a Platypus
01-07-2010, 07:44 AM
I nearly had to tell people that I walked into a door, and it was the truth. That's a classic "my husband beats me but I'm not going to admit it" line. I was getting into the passenger side door of our car, and looked over my shoulder for some reason. Meanwhile I was still moving towards the car, and turned my head back during that process. *Whap!* Smacked myself next to my eye with the pointy upper corner of the car door. Fortunately I didn't even bruise, else that would have been awful to deal with.

Ha! Or you could be like a friend of mine, and go the other way. Before I met her, her husband told me about a time when she'd done something klutzy and had a black eye. When people at work asked her about it, she said "Dan said the dishes won't wash themselves...". He thinks it's funny but she's pretty appalled when he tells that story :D

For my own idiocy, it was a few years ago when I did apartment maintenance for a living. I needed to replace a cord for a dryer, and they look very similar to a stove cord, so I took one over to the apartment to make sure it was the right one before hooking it up to the appliance.

Do I compare the plug and outlet to see if they match? No, that'd be the smart way. I plugged the damn thing in. While the rest of it was in my hand. It was all coiled up, wrapped in plastic, so thankfully I wasn't actually touching the bare metal end, but it sure did make a pretty blue spark!

The stupid continues when I grab the cord and unplug it while it's still arcing, instead of turning the power off first. After my boss was finally convinced I was (stunned at my own stupidity, but) okay, he didn't stop laughing about that all week.

robby
01-07-2010, 10:25 AM
...Second, it is not possible to make ANYTHING without chemicals, dagnabit! You two are punished in the corner!Which is why I stated that it "doesn't contain any chemical cleaners (apart from the inert, non-toxic substance the sponge itself is composed of)" back in Post #9.

Poysyn
01-07-2010, 11:36 AM
Boy, this is going to seem awfully tame after the harrowing tales so far.

I was in the housewares section of our department store and they had a new product displayed prominently: a special peeler for asparagus spears or carrots. You put the whole thing in one end and pull or push it through, and it comes out peeled. I picked it up, idly curious, and stuck ... my finger ... in. The non-cutting end. Which would have been fine if my finger, like a carrot, had been unattached at the other end; I could have just put it all the way through, no harm. However, since the entire rest of my body wasn't going to fit ...

*sigh*

I managed to maneuver my finger out slowly and carefully enough that I only lightly peeled the one side, so, um, go me?

moron

My daughter did something similar - when she was four. She was drinking 7-up from a can and thought it would be smart to put her finger in to touch the beverage.

We sloooowly eased her finger out, with a little owie.

My nephew, who was about the same age, put his finger in a pencil sharpener and sharpened his finger.

I wince at that one. Ow!

QuercusMax
01-07-2010, 12:27 PM
I've got two. The first is when my wife and I were in dating in college. She had an off-campus apartment, and I lived on campus, about a half-mile away. One night, as I was heading back to my dorm at around 1:30 AM, I opened the door leading into my building, and as I did so, attempted to enter. The problem was that I didn't bother to wait until the door was open before going in. So I slammed myself in the face with the edge of the heavy metal door, putting a huge scratch in the right lens of my glasses, and giving myself a nice shiner.

The other one happened when one of our kids was quite small, and I wasn't getting much sleep. It was late in the evening, probably around 11:30PM. I was clearing some dishes, and in the process dropped a glass on the floor, where it broke. It didn't shatter; instead it broke into some lovely long shards, with the heavy base of the glass connected to some nice point pieces. So I pick up the pieces and proceed to drop it *again*. Only this time, instead of falling on the floor, I dropped the base of the glass, pointy-piece-first, onto the back of my right calf, where it sliced a nice big gash. I still have the scar a few years later. To this day, I don't know *how* I managed to drop it on the back of my leg, but it sure was bloody.

I guess the moral of these stories is that I get extremely uncoordinated when I'm tired, and probably should just go to bed sooner so I don't injure myself. :)

Cat Whisperer
01-07-2010, 12:37 PM
I nearly had to tell people that I walked into a door, and it was the truth. That's a classic "my husband beats me but I'm not going to admit it" line. I was getting into the passenger side door of our car, and looked over my shoulder for some reason. Meanwhile I was still moving towards the car, and turned my head back during that process. *Whap!* Smacked myself next to my eye with the pointy upper corner of the car door. Fortunately I didn't even bruise, else that would have been awful to deal with.
I did something similar with the clothes washer lid once. You're leaning over to get the clothes in, and sometimes something catches the lid and pulls it down BANG! right in your face. Ow.

Then there was the time I forgot I was under a concrete balcony and stood straight up. I think I did actually see stars. Or the time I was walking with my head turned and walked right into a sign.

The funniest stupid thing I heard about someone else doing was walking along with a handful of change to get on the bus, then he saw a pretty girl. He was watching the pretty girl as he was walking, and hit something at about groin level. Not only did he hit something at groin level (bad enough), but his change all went flying out of his hand with a nice loud sound as it hit the ground (and then he had to pick it all up to pay for the bus). Smoooove. :)

Textual Intercourse
01-07-2010, 12:47 PM
I recall one instance when I was kid...

I just finished watching Robocop and like any imaginative kid, I wanted to become Robo myself. Just needed the right tools. I taped an old circuit board to my left arm and an extended recharging module (i.e. flathead screwdriver) to my right hand. After that I proceeded to recharge myself by sticking the screwdriver into a power outlet.

It was truly the total Robocop experience.

cards
01-07-2010, 12:54 PM
.... veggie spareribs ......

This does not compute. If this real, it must be an abomination.

Shot From Guns
01-07-2010, 01:14 PM
When I was in high school, I didn't have a curfew per se, especially on non-school nights or during the summer--I just had to let Mom know when I was home. So one night I come home probably around midnight, walk upstairs, and head toward Mom's room. "Wow, it's really dark out--I can't see into her room at all," I think, as I walk up. Not processing that every other time I've walked up to her room, even in the middle of the night, there's always some light coming in from outside. And, as I continue to marvel that I can't see anything inside the room at all, I walk face-first into the closed door.

justrob
01-07-2010, 02:37 PM
When I was a kid, ~4 or so, I was trying to blow up a balloon. I figured when you blow it up it stretches out so if I stretched it out first it would be easier to blow up. So i caught the end between my teeth and stretched the balloon out. When I was ready to start blowing it up I let go of the end so it could inflate. Strangely the rubber snapped back before I could fill it and split my lip. A couple stitches later I was as good as new.

:smack:

Rocketeer
01-07-2010, 03:13 PM
Boy, this is going to seem awfully tame after the harrowing tales so far.

I was in the housewares section of our department store and they had a new product displayed prominently: a special peeler for asparagus spears or carrots. You put the whole thing in one end and pull or push it through, and it comes out peeled. I picked it up, idly curious, and stuck ... my finger ... in. ...


Tame, yes, but the funniest so far. :D

robby
01-07-2010, 03:38 PM
In a townhouse apartment I was renting some years ago, there was this coffee table with a huge piece of glass set into a cheap metal frame.

I was always concerned about breaking this table. I was very careful when placing objects on it, and tried not to put anything too heavy on it or to hit it with anything.

Then...on my last night in the apartment, I was vacuuming the floor next to the table in preparation for moving out, and tripped over something right next to the table.

I still remember it like it was yesterday. I was falling, in slow motion, face first into the glass tabletop. I could not stop the fall. I was able to twist my upper body so I didn't go through the table face-first...so I hit the table butt-first to the sound of a huge crash. I found myself sitting on my butt on the carpet with my legs hanging over the frame, and broken glass everywhere. It took me a second to take inventory and realize that I wasn't bleeding to death. Fortunately, the glass was tempered safety glass...so I wasn't cut at all. I felt pretty stupid sitting there on the floor, though.

Thankfully, the owner didn't charge me for the table the next day, but it did take me a while to clean up all of the glass that night.

robby
01-07-2010, 03:44 PM
Actually, my previous story was more clumsiness than idiocy, but I've got a good example of idiocy, too:

...Like the time I didn't move the gas grill far enough away from the house, and melted a pretty big section of the vinyl siding. :smack:

Cat Whisperer
01-07-2010, 03:46 PM
My sister and brother-in-law have a patch like that on the back of their house, too. :D

ETA: I know how serious and expensive this is, but it's funny because it didn't happen to me.

Gesturing Mildly
01-07-2010, 03:59 PM
When I was in college, our furniture was stackable. My roommate and I bunked our beds, then got the bright idea to stack a bunch of cinder blocks under the legs so we could store stuff. My bunk (top) wasn't far from the ceiling, but it didn't matter since all I'd be doing was sleeping.

Worked fine until my first sit-straight-up-in-bed nightmare. Knocked myself right out.

Angel of the Lord
01-07-2010, 06:23 PM
9th grade. We're on a field trip at our town's natural history museum. We've got a guy there showing us how to flint knap and work obsidian. I thought this was awesome, because I collected rocks. He warns us halfway through the demonstration that Obsidian is glass, and therefore broken obsidian is very sharp.

Earlier, I'd reached out to grab one of the chunks, and still had it in my hand. "It can't be that sharp!" I think. Taking the shard in my left hand, I brought it towards my right, beween the wrist and the thumb, and drew it across the skin.

It didn't bleed for a second. It barely even hurt. But, as the thin, raised, 3.4" long scar on my twelve-years-older hand can attest, it most certainly was sharp.

Queen Tonya
01-07-2010, 09:20 PM
I worked the closing shift at McDonalds on the weekends for a while when I was in high school. Since my normal weekly schedule was getting up at 5:30 in the morning, working until 3 a.m. wasn't the best plan. I'd be dead on my feet tired driving home, and then would get bitched at the next morning by all the family members who were rudely awakened by my fumbling about in my drowsy clumsiness when I came home.

One night I was being extra special careful to be quiet and not wake anyone. Turned my engine off and coasted to a stop in front of the house, walked all the way round to the back door the furthest from the bedrooms, took my shoes off outside before opening the door, even. I was worried about lights possibly shining into opened bedroom doors, so decided I could find my way to my room in the dark. No stairs or other obstacles, and it's the same house I'd lived in my entire life, what could go wrong?

Both hands out in front of me as feelers, I begin tiptoeing in the pitch-black house towards the hallway. And one hand was, in fact, in the hall and the other in the living room as I ran face-first into the corner of the wall. Hard enough to break my glasses, split my lip and give me an instant bloody nose, and of course wake the entire house up.

"What the hell was that?!" being answered by "My face, sorry" still cracks up the entire family 20 years later.

elfkin477
01-08-2010, 11:40 PM
You know, sometimes not completely injuring yourself can be embarassing too.

When I was a freshman in college, some friends talked me into going to the homecoming game. We painted blue pawprints on our faces (Wildcats) and sat through a long boring game.

At the end of the game I learned two things:
1. Even on a cloudy October day, you can still get a sunburn if you're outside long enough
2. Facepaint makes good sunscreen

Yep, I burned my whole face...except in the shape of a pawprint. That made for a fun week. Why did so many people ask if it was on purpose? Would anyone do that on purpose?!

horsetech
01-09-2010, 12:22 AM
I am in the dictionary next to the word klutz. Some highlights:

I have problems with doors. Namely, I have problems coordinating the door-opening step and the walking-through step so that they happen in the correct order with the correct timing. I can't tell you how many times I've either opened the door into my face or grunted as I collided with the still-closed door as my hand was reaching for the doorknob.

My cat is on subQ fluids every other day, and I have an empty medicine bottle on my desk that I use to collect the needles to take back to work for disposal. One evening, I got distracted on my way back to my desk and the needle did not make it to safety -- I was so distracted, I wasn't even aware that I hadn't put it away. Later that evening, I was twisting around in my desk chair and felt a stinging sensation in my gluteus maximus. Convinced that some Hymenopteran of Death was having its way with my ass, I leaped up and started swatting myself. I looked down at the chair and realized that I had managed to drop the capped (I know, you're not supposed to recap needles, it's a habit from doing horse house calls and not having the sharps container handy) needle on my chair and then sit on it in such a way that, when I twisted around, it came out of its cap and stabbed my in the ass. It bled for a while, but I've had my tetanus shot and there's enough blubber that it was a LONG way from anything important. I am now known in my family as The Genius Who Managed To Stab Herself In The Ass.

In the space of one week, I managed to complete aforementioned back-stabbing feat, step in cat poop, sit in cat vomit, fall off a mounting block and end up on the ground underneath the horse, and slip in horse poop and end up underneath a different horse. I really think I should go live in a padded room somewhere.

Fir na tine
01-09-2010, 11:46 AM
Recently I was making a long series of repetitive cuts with a large table saw. After several hours I went to remove the workpiece before the blade stopped spinning. Stopped a spinning 10 inch rip blade with my thumb.

Fortunately the blade was almost stopped and the blood didn't fly too far. Was able to get by with several butterfly bandaids for a few weeks while it healed. Another 3 or 4 seconds earlier and my thumb would have been flying across the shop.

Cat Whisperer
01-09-2010, 12:16 PM
You know, sometimes not completely injuring yourself can be embarassing too.

When I was a freshman in college, some friends talked me into going to the homecoming game. We painted blue pawprints on our faces (Wildcats) and sat through a long boring game.

At the end of the game I learned two things:
1. Even on a cloudy October day, you can still get a sunburn if you're outside long enough
2. Facepaint makes good sunscreen

Yep, I burned my whole face...except in the shape of a pawprint. That made for a fun week. Why did so many people ask if it was on purpose? Would anyone do that on purpose?!
I kinda want to do that with my sunscreen next summer now (on my back, not my face, and just tanned, not burned in).

smithsb
01-09-2010, 01:02 PM
Precautionary warning - not that I've ever done this myself - no sireee.

Don't fry up bacon in the nude.

Just saying!

Shot From Guns
01-11-2010, 03:01 PM
Don't fry up bacon in the nude.

Now that you mention, I think an old boyfriend may have learned this lesson once frying up puri (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puri_(food)).

ArrMatey!
01-15-2010, 04:13 PM
Not my story, but one that never fails to get a wince. It's all in the delivery...

Friend of mine's dad played football in high school, and the coach wasn't a real smart man when it came to injuries. 'Walk it off' was the usual answer to anything. Anyway, friend's dad, during a scrimmage, gets his leg sliced open by the cleats of another player. Coach sends him home, telling him to keep pressure on the cut and make sure he gets it all clean when he gets home.

Well, he gets home, and thinks that maybe a wound this long / deep might need something more than just water to clean it.

Hey! Bleach cleans real well...

orderfire
01-15-2010, 04:55 PM
... a huge piece of glass set into a cheap metal frame.

I still remember it like it was yesterday. I was falling, in slow motion, face first into the glass tabletop...


This one actually freaks the hell out of me. I read an interview in the Hartford Advocate a few years back with a young lady who described how her fiancee bled to death in front of her, having just fallen into the glass coffee table. Holy crapulence. :(

phouka
01-16-2010, 01:55 AM
Yep, I burned my whole face...except in the shape of a pawprint. That made for a fun week. Why did so many people ask if it was on purpose? Would anyone do that on purpose?!

I did this. Only, it was at a RenFaire, I was wearing a wench costume, and instead of pawprints on my face, it was a dragon's tail going down into my cleavage.

Damn tan lines lasted months.

Marlitharn
01-17-2010, 12:28 PM
I went to my grandfather's house one day, and he proudly showed me his new Ginsu knife.

"I wonder if it's as sharp as they say it is," I said skeptically, running my thumb down the blade.

I quickly learned the answer. Yes. Yes, it's a sharp as they say it is. My mother was standing right next to me; when I showed her the gaping cut she rolled her eyes and said, "I hope you're not expecting sympathy!"

Cat Whisperer
01-17-2010, 01:33 PM
Do you always need to touch the paint to see if the sign is accurate, too, Marlitharn? :D

(Your mom and my mom went to the same school of mothering, I see.)

Shot From Guns
01-18-2010, 05:57 PM
"I wonder if it's as sharp as they say it is," I said skeptically, running my thumb down the blade.

That's why you drag wide edge of the blade across the ridges of your thumb (IOW, you drag it perpendicular to how you would if you were trying to cut). Or, better yet, fold a piece of paper and try to cut that.

Really Not All That Bright
01-18-2010, 05:59 PM
I superglued my pinky finger to the tip of my nose once. Two weeks later I superglued my thumb to it.

horsetech
01-18-2010, 06:10 PM
Stop picking your nose while repairing small objects!

Really Not All That Bright
01-18-2010, 06:12 PM
I wasn't, I swear! It was just itchy.

Miss Woodhouse
01-18-2010, 06:55 PM
I decided to use a steak knife to pry something up. The surgery went well and both the tendon and nerve were fixed although I do still have some deadness in the tip of the finger. The anesthesiologist found it quite challenging to work around my six month pregnancy.

It was kind of hard to tie my shoes for a few weeks.

MysteryFellow63427
01-18-2010, 07:35 PM
...Like the time I didn't move the gas grill far enough away from the house, and melted a pretty big section of the vinyl siding. :smack:

Are you my fiancee???

Not looking forward to dealing with that come move-out time...

Marlitharn
01-19-2010, 07:53 AM
That's why you drag wide edge of the blade across the ridges of your thumb (IOW, you drag it perpendicular to how you would if you were trying to cut). Or, better yet, fold a piece of paper and try to cut that.

Oh, sure, NOW you tell me.

justrob
01-19-2010, 10:56 AM
Hey! Bleach cleans real well...

Hey that reminds me of another one. When I was 18 or 19 I was trying join the Airforce. I went to take the MEPS test and the doctor said I had a wax build up in my ear that I needed to get cleared so they could do a pressure test if I wanted a posting that flew in any way. So I went home and was thinking "So self." because that's what I called myself then. "What would you use to clean off wax? Rubbing alcohol would work right? Brilliant!" So I put some rubbing alcohol on a q-tip and went to work. :eek: AAAAUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!! It burned a little bit (meaning a whole lot). It seems rubbing alcohol is not very nice to the skin of the inner ear. After flushig the ear out with water I realized I couldn't hear out of that ear so I made a doctors appt. It seemed the rubbing alcohol+flushing the ear managed to melt the way and close off the ear canal completely. The doctor flushed it out and I was able to hear again.

That was over 20 years ago and that ear is still sensitive to cold breezes. :(

I was lucky that I chose not to just flush it out with rubbing alcohol which was how I planned on using it at first.

Shot From Guns
01-19-2010, 11:28 AM
Jeeze, didn't one of your parents ever pour hydrogen peroxide into your ear as a kid?

Cat Whisperer
01-19-2010, 12:04 PM
I decided to use a steak knife to pry something up. The surgery went well and both the tendon and nerve were fixed although I do still have some deadness in the tip of the finger. The anesthesiologist found it quite challenging to work around my six month pregnancy.

It was kind of hard to tie my shoes for a few weeks.
It only cost me a couple of knife tips to learn not to use knives to pry stuff. I keep a screwdriver (and hammer) in my kitchen now.

DiggitCamara
01-19-2010, 12:19 PM
So, I went bowling by myself. And the ball somehow got stuck just before it reached the "rack" (where you usually pick it up). But I could see it was stuck just inside the hole. I thought "Hey, it's easy to get it: just nudge it with your hand and it will get unstuck".

I was able to get it moving again. Unfortunately my hand was still there, so this time it got stuck because my hand didn't allow it to get out and the machine still was trying to roll it out. I was lucky, though, an attendant helped me out and I didn't even get a bruise!

Shot From Guns
01-19-2010, 12:52 PM
So, I went bowling by myself.

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

Heckity
01-19-2010, 01:09 PM
My son at 11 mos. or so threw up on me every day just as I was leaving for work. You would think I'd have figured out a way to keep clean until I slid out the door, but no, I'd get dressed and be ready and the next thing I'd no I'd have a nice stripe of baby carrots or curdled milk or something all over me.

So it was habit that I'd dress, undress, redress and go . . . except one day when a blouse I put on the second time had a collar that was flipping up on one side. There was no time to look for another - so . . . I plugged in the iron . . .

and ironed my collar . . . whilst wearing it . . . the iron shot up from the collar and onto my neck (for some distance) like it was greased lightening. That was over 20 years ago and in the right light you can still see the scar. . .

Recently my husband broke a front tooth eating spareribs. The fault line was perfectly angled and one triangular piece broke off. Of course he broke it on a Sunday evening and on Monday he had a big presentation to give . . . So, I tested it first by placing the broken piece against the tooth - it matched perfectly!

So I told my husband to trust me, that I knew what I was doing - and I applied super glue to the broken piece. He sat with his mouth wide open as I held the tooth in place, blowing gently on the glue to speed it's curing.

It would have worked perfectly, I swear! Well it would have worked if a little trickle of super glue hadn't squooshed out between to the two edges and dribbled down onto my finger. That's right, it dripped onto the finger that was holding the broken piece in place.

If he'd had any sense of humour at all, we could have gone to the dentist with me appearing to lead him around by one finger. It appears he doesn't.

figure9
01-20-2010, 07:43 AM
A line in a song on the radio said, "You don't spit into the wind." I wondered why and tried it.

Ferret Herder
01-20-2010, 09:41 AM
A line in a song on the radio said, "You don't spit into the wind." I wondered why and tried it.
Look on the bright side, it could have talked about pissing into the wind. :eek:

TruCelt
01-20-2010, 11:15 AM
The back door of my SUV lifts up, like a very large hatch back. Or it did before the last snow, when something happened to it (maybe water and ice formed in the hinge? or maybe I smacked it with the broom while clearing the roof?) which has since prevented it from opening properly.

The problem, whatever it is, is on the top of the door, and if I try to force it open, the plastic of the back window begins to crack.

What I need to do is get on a step ladder, and open it a little in order to see what is catching. This is very difficult to do while keeping your 2.5 year old from dashing through the hole in the fence to the 7/11 parking lot.

So one night after she went to sleep, I strapped my headlight to my forehead, tucked the nursery monitor in my pocket, grabbed a step stool, and headed out to solve this problem.

Now, on a hatch back this big and heavy, there is a hydraulic thingy on each side to help you lift it. In order to help it close completely, the hydraulic thingies let go when you get it within about ten inches of shutting.

So, I'm on the side of the vehicle, on my stool, with one thumb hooked under the hatchback and watching the hinges as I slowly lift it up and down. On the fourth or fifth pass, I let it go too far down, and it slammed shut on my thumb, partially latching.

OWWWWWWWWCHIIIEEEEE! Did I mention it's 10:00pm and there's not a light on anywhere in the cul-de-sac?

It turned out to be a bit like a scene from "Saw". (Or what I understand Saw to be,) in that stepping down from the stool, and reaching the handle at the center of the door required twisting my elbow at a gawdawful angle and then actually leaning against the door in order to get my big behind close enough to lift on the handle.

In the process I ripped about .5 square inch of skin off one side of the thumb. Fortunately the veins weren't crushed, but there is still a funny prickling sensation any time I touch the crushed area.

Door still doesn't work.

Shot From Guns
01-20-2010, 12:38 PM
A line in a song on the radio said, "You don't spit into the wind." I wondered why and tried it.

Tell me, have you ever heard of a thought experiment? :D

elbows
01-20-2010, 02:18 PM
Someone gifted me this lovely, wooden, carved box. It was the perfect size to hold wooden matches. And, I could cut the striking strip off the cardboard box and stick in inside the lid, so when you opened it, to get a match, there it was. I liked it, it held a large box of wooden matches perfectly. I've been using it, since the woodstove came, a couple of years, anyway.

Last night I had a fire stacked, was standing in front of the open door, picked up the box, just like always, took out a match and struck it. I didn't see anything but some bit must have flown off the end of the match I was striking and ignited the ones in the box, which was full!

It happened in like a split second. I reacted very quickly snapping the lid down hard, I was just about to toss the whole thing into the woodstove, but I didn't hear anything else. I ended up taking it out, into the snowy yard, and opening it up. Such a small box, such a lot of smoke. When I put the matches into the box, it's in two piles. Only one had caught fire but every single match in that stack had ignited. Made my heart race, I'll tell you. It happened in but a few seconds, really.

It would seem there is a very good reason why the striker is always on the outside of the packaging. Indeed.

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