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View Full Version : "Gay as a <blank>" similes


Revtim
09-14-2011, 11:48 AM
Anyone else find these similes friggin' hilarious? My favorite ones that I've heard from the SDMB:
Gay as a box of birds
Gay as a tap dancing hyena (my current favorite)

I've also heard
Gay as a goose (the first one I can recall hearing, from an episode of 'Cheers')
Gay as a french horn
Gayer than cum on a mustache (some comedian, can't recall who)
Gayer than eight guys blowing nine guys (comedian Patton Oswalt)
Gay as a chaise lounge

bup
09-14-2011, 12:09 PM
as gay as Christmas

Seinfeld - "so gay he buys Brawny paper towels for the packaging"

Malleus, Incus, Stapes!
09-14-2011, 12:10 PM
Good Omens used "gay as a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide."

Morgyn
09-14-2011, 12:13 PM
I've heard "gay as a Mexican hat band."

MeanOldLady
09-14-2011, 12:14 PM
I used to say "gayer than the Pride parade they throw in West Hollywood every year." A little long, and plus I think I need to update my reference now that I'm not in Los Angeles anymore, but twas my go-to nonetheless.

tdn
09-14-2011, 12:16 PM
Queer as a football bat.

Czarcasm
09-14-2011, 12:20 PM
Gay as a mayor
Gay as a playwright
Gay as a head of state
Gay as a Nobel Prize winner
Gay as a king
Gay as a painter
Gay as a mother
Gay as a father
Gay as a brother
Gay as a sister

GrandWino
09-14-2011, 12:25 PM
Gayer than Tom Cruise rollerblading in cut-offs.

Crotalus
09-14-2011, 12:29 PM
I like the one Freddie Mercury used to describe himself - gay as a daffodil.

Colophon
09-14-2011, 01:37 PM
As camp as a row of pink tents.

hogarth
09-14-2011, 01:56 PM
I've heard "gay as a Mexican hat band."
I've heard "as old dad's hatband". Or "as a tangerine".

11811
09-14-2011, 01:59 PM
Gayer than a Judy Garland singalong.

cjepson
09-14-2011, 02:06 PM
Gay as Julius Caesar. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julius_Caesar)

corkboard
09-14-2011, 02:09 PM
There was one from an episode of Weeds a couple seasons back that I can't recall exactly, but it was something like:

...gay as a purse full of glitter and rainbows (or maybe unicorns, although I'm sure any combination of the three would work).

Nzinga, Seated
09-14-2011, 02:22 PM
Gay as a mayor
Gay as a playwright
Gay as a head of state
Gay as a Nobel Prize winner
Gay as a king
Gay as a painter
Gay as a mother
Gay as a father
Gay as a brother
Gay as a sister

Ha! Harharhar! HARHARHARHARRRR!!!

But, yeah, I'm going to go with my fave as "gay as a french horn".

appleciders
09-14-2011, 02:27 PM
"... as a maypole."

Toucanna
09-14-2011, 02:33 PM
Back in the '70s I heard, "As gay as the first day of May." Due to all the pole dancing, flowers and fluttery ribbons was my guess. ::shrug smilie::

drewtwo99
09-14-2011, 02:52 PM
Gay as a man who routinely engages in romantic and sexual relationships with one or more other men!

Little Nemo
09-14-2011, 03:11 PM
I've heard "as old dad's hatband". Or "as a tangerine"."Gay as a tangerine" has always been a personal favorite. I originally heard it from David Letterman.

MeanOldLady
09-14-2011, 03:18 PM
Ha! Harharhar! HARHARHARHARRRR!!!

But, yeah, I'm going to go with my fave as "gay as a french horn".Now you settle down, missy. Gay as a playwright was pretty good.

Gay as a man who routinely engages in romantic and sexual relationships with one or more other men!Hey, play along. :mad:

"Gay as a tangerine" has always been a personal favorite. I originally heard it from David Letterman.I will echo this love of "gay as a tangerine." Classic.

Cat Whisperer
09-14-2011, 03:29 PM
I'm pretty sure I heard it here first - gay as 19 balloons. It's still my favourite.

Nzinga, Seated
09-14-2011, 03:37 PM
Now you settle down, missy. Gay as a playwright was pretty good...


Yes, true dat. Plus, he said "Gay as a King" but stopped short of adding "Gay as a Queen." Had he added that, I would have forgiven the whole glurge infused post.

BrassyPhrase
09-14-2011, 04:13 PM
I like "Gayer than Gay Gayerson"

One day, my SO finally asked me---"Who is Gay Gayerson?"

As far as I remember that line is from the episode of Roseanne where Martin Mull's character is getting married to his boyfriend and he has massive cold feet. She's trying to calm him down and he's going on "Maybe I'm not even gay! I mean, I like sports! I--"

she stops him: "Do you like to have sex with men?"

Him: "Well, yes....but..."

Her: "GAY!!! Gayer than Gay Gayerson!"

That was a great show.

drewtwo99
09-14-2011, 04:17 PM
Hey, play along. :mad:



Ok let me try again.

Gay as a big thick **** being thrust into a guy's tight little ***.



*runs and hides*

Clothahump
09-14-2011, 04:37 PM
So gay that he could change a $12 bill and give you three fours or two sixes.

Inthewater
09-14-2011, 04:52 PM
"Gayer than a South Beach club owner"

The Second Stone
09-14-2011, 06:31 PM
Gayer than Nathan Lane in a cameo.

Nzinga, Seated
09-14-2011, 06:39 PM
Gayer than a Glee Season Finale
Gayer than Richard Simmons on Broadway!

Chefguy
09-14-2011, 06:43 PM
Gay as an Easter parade.

Manduck
09-14-2011, 06:46 PM
Gay as a three dollar bill.

Am I doing it right?

Satchmo
09-14-2011, 07:12 PM
Gay as Nathan Lane and Harvey Fierstein in "The Birdcage".

Now wouldn't THAT have been great!

Apollyon
09-14-2011, 07:28 PM
As camp as a row of pink tents.Camp as a Boy Scout jamboree. :)

Nava
09-15-2011, 02:40 AM
Does it have to be "as"?

Gayer than a pink feathered boa at the New Orleas Pride Parade.

Dude's as gay as a pink flamingo. What, you mean flamingos aren't all gay? Damn, they sure are pink!

(Don't ask me why, but it's usually NO and not SF - and for bonus points, in Spain someone who's flaming is said to "have feathers").

Malacandra
09-15-2011, 03:20 AM
As bent as a bottle of crisps (English for "potato chips") - George Macdonald Fraser, The Pyrates

Monkey Chews
09-15-2011, 04:58 AM
Gay as Christmas

So gay that he could change a $12 bill and give you three fours or two sixes.LOVE IT! Stealing it.

On a related note, I've always liked "He's so far in the closet he's eating turkish delight with the witch queen of Narnia".

Yorikke
09-15-2011, 01:56 PM
So gay that he could change a $12 bill and give you three fours or two sixes.

Now THAT made me laugh out loud!

Joe

hotflungwok
09-15-2011, 02:49 PM
Gayer than Richard Simmons running naked through a field of pussywillows.

robert_columbia
09-15-2011, 05:28 PM
He took longer to leave than Michael Jackson at a Cub Scout meeting.



I hear he's down to two packs a day.

romansperson
09-16-2011, 12:13 PM
Back in the '70s I heard, "As gay as the first day of May." Due to all the pole dancing, flowers and fluttery ribbons was my guess. ::shrug smilie::

See also: Gay as a spring day.

CookingWithGas
09-16-2011, 01:22 PM
I really hate to admit this, but I am not getting a lot of these at all. For example, french horn. And all of these.
Gay as a mayor
Gay as a playwright
Gay as a head of state
Gay as a Nobel Prize winner
Gay as a king
Gay as a painter
Gay as a mother
Gay as a father
Gay as a brother
Gay as a sister

A lot of the ones in this thread are pretty obvious (and I think the subtle ones are funnier) but these are just so out there I don't get it. Will I spoil the thread if I have to ask? :)

Czarcasm
09-16-2011, 01:29 PM
I really hate to admit this, but I am not getting a lot of these at all. For example, french horn. And all of these.


A lot of the ones in this thread are pretty obvious (and I think the subtle ones are funnier) but these are just so out there I don't get it. Will I spoil the thread if I have to ask? :)None of them were meant to be funny. I don't find gay stereotypes to be particularly humorous, and some can be hurtful. Some of the ones presented in this thread are the equivalent of "Gay as something inconsequential".

Nzinga, Seated
09-16-2011, 03:35 PM
I really hate to admit this, but I am not getting a lot of these at all. For example, french horn...

Come on. (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/63/French_horn_front.png)

CookingWithGas
09-16-2011, 03:46 PM
Come on. (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/63/French_horn_front.png)Oh yeah, the fist thing. :D

Lucky 13
09-18-2011, 12:08 AM
On a related note, I've always liked "He's so far in the closet he's eating Turkish delight with the witch queen of Narnia".

I once read a fanfiction in which a woman described a male friend as "so far in the closet he's handing me my shoes."

Sometimes I say "gay as a Gucci bag full of rainbows." Not sure where I read it, but it sounded funny to me. I've also heard someone, probably my brother, call his friend something like "gayer than a gay guy at Gay Land on 'gays get in free' day."

Revtim
09-18-2011, 12:18 AM
I once read a fanfiction in which a woman described a male friend as "so far in the closet he's handing me my shoes."I heard somewhere "he's so deep in the closet that he's finding Christmas presents".

Of course, there's an obvious Narnia version of that one too.

Sitnam
09-18-2011, 01:46 AM
Gay as AIDS. Think it's a South Park or Team America reference, or some moronic equivalent.

bartleby
09-19-2011, 08:31 AM
Gay as a Whistle.

Miller
09-19-2011, 09:21 AM
Someone on the boards (probably Sampiro) referred to Michelle Bachmann's husband as "so gay he sneezes glitter."

Agent Foxtrot
09-19-2011, 11:35 AM
Gay as a three dollar bill.

Am I doing it right?Sorta. Not really. It makes more sense to say, "Queer as a three-dollar bill."

UncleNito
09-19-2011, 03:12 PM
Gayer than the volleyball scene in Top Gun.

I stole that one from 30 Rock but it's my go-to.

cjepson
09-19-2011, 03:53 PM
Gayer than Richard Simmons running naked through a field of pussywillows.

With Barbra Streisand's "The Way We Were" playing in the background.

yanceylebeef
09-19-2011, 04:15 PM
Patton Oswalt said it best..."Gayer than eight guys blowing nine guys."

jasg
09-19-2011, 07:08 PM
... as a tree full of chickadees.

Earl Snake-Hips Tucker
09-19-2011, 07:26 PM
Gay as a hee-hank. Naw, I've never heard it. I just like using the word.

Runs With Scissors
09-21-2011, 12:19 AM
His nickname isn't Slim; it's Slender.

Sierra Indigo
09-21-2011, 01:37 AM
I say, I say - that boy's as queer as a two-bob watch

GoodOmens
09-21-2011, 08:38 AM
I've always been partial to the good old "queer as a three dollar bill." My students do occasionally use "gayer than Glee."

typoink
09-22-2011, 12:08 AM
I heard somewhere "he's so deep in the closet that he's finding Christmas presents".

Of course, there's an obvious Narnia version of that one too.

My brain supplies "...so deep in the closet he gave Mr. Tumnis a reacharound."

No idea if I heard that somewhere or if it's just so darn obvious.

Turkish delight.

Double Foolscap
09-22-2011, 04:50 AM
My family's go-to for superlatives was, "Xer than X McX, Xest man in the world." I think it's from Blackadder, or might just be home-grown weirdness.

So, Gayer than Gay McGay, I guess.

Annie-Xmas
09-22-2011, 11:10 AM
He took longer to leave than Michael Jackson at a Cub Scout meeting.

Let's please keep talk of peophiles out of threads about homosexuality.

Someone on the boards (probably Sampiro) referred to Michelle Bachmann's husband as "so gay he sneezes glitter."

It was "so gay he farts glitter." While I have stolen.

Spice Weasel
09-22-2011, 01:11 PM
''Gayer than a picnic basket'' is my favorite. Nice play off of the original meaning of ''gay.''

Beltane
09-22-2011, 10:43 PM
"Gay as Uncle Brother Boy"

"Nobody's that gay!"

salinqmind
09-22-2011, 11:55 PM
So deep in the closet she might as well be a garment bag.

He is as gay as an Umberto spring frock.

gaffa
09-23-2011, 12:52 AM
He is as gay as an Umberto spring frock.
A friend of mine is especially fond of the variant "Gay as a Halston sun dress."

Freddy Mercury once described himself as "Gay as the Queen of the May" which I thought had a nice poetry to it.

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