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View Full Version : Star Trek -- where's the loo?


El_Kabong
10-18-2001, 12:45 AM
Forgive me for A) possibly bringing up a subject that has already been discussed B) allowing my mind to flop into the gutter once again.

While there has been much discussion concerning the delivery of food to spacecraft crews in the various Star Trek series, I cannot recall ever having seen anything about the other end of the processing cycle.

So, if anyone knows, where are the, er, facilities on board the different Enterprise variants? Unisex or separate sex? Retention or external vent? Finally, when an away team is on an inhabited planet, what do they do when they have to go? Wouldn't leaving nuggets behind, like, violate the prime directive or something?

Bonus question: name one of the few science fiction films to give at least a passing nod to the problems of dealing with human waste in space.

ignatzmouse
10-18-2001, 01:06 AM
For efficiency, waste is transported directly from the body on a regular basis, thus eliminating the need for bathrooms and toilet breaks.

puk
10-18-2001, 03:12 AM
Originally posted by El_Kabong
Bonus question: name one of the few science fiction films to give at least a passing nod to the problems of dealing with human waste in space.

ehhh,
Space Balls?

Arden Ranger
10-18-2001, 03:29 AM
STTNG had the facilites in the crew's quarters. I recall them showing Riker's and Deanna's bathrooms, though right now all I can recall seeing are the bathtubs.

Barbarian
10-18-2001, 04:12 AM
Apollo 13! Oh wait, sci-fi films. I have no idea.

Star Trek: Next Generation has a toilet off the bridge, but you never see it on-camera.

man, I hang around too many trekkies

Fern Forest
10-18-2001, 05:37 AM
Originally posted by ignatzmouse
For efficiency, waste is transported directly from the body on a regular basis, thus eliminating the need for bathrooms and toilet breaks.

Would you believe that was the first thought that popped into my mind when I say the thread title.

As per sci-fi films how about The Navigator? The spaceship has to stop so the kid could piss in a field.

I also remember a couple from books but I gues that doesn't really count.

SPOOFE
10-18-2001, 05:43 AM
For efficiency, waste is transported directly from the body on a regular basis, thus eliminating the need for bathrooms and toilet breaks.
Man, that'd make for an interesting plot, all right: The transporter malfunctions (I know, half the scripts start like this), and accidently teleports someone's spleen. They then have to chase a Romulan ship in an attempt to recapture that spleen.

Hey, it'd be better than most Voyager episodes.

Fern Forest
10-18-2001, 06:05 AM
A.I. actually has the mother on the toilet going to the bathroom in one awkward scene.

You know what, I also seem to recall several times when a crew member went off to a conference or something in a shuttle craft and were apparantly gone for quite some time. Now that craft looks pretty small and I'm doubtful whether there were rest stops ever 60 trillion miles.

Skip
10-18-2001, 07:01 AM
Originally posted by El_Kabong
Bonus question: name one of the few science fiction films to give at least a passing nod to the problems of dealing with human waste in space.

That would be in 2001: A Space Odyssey. During Heywod Floyd's trip to the moon (the long scene on the Pan-Am space shuttle set to the tune of the Blue Danube), there is a shot with him intently reading the instructions on the use of the Zero Gravity Toilet.

El_Kabong
10-18-2001, 08:29 AM
Skip

[Bingo Caller]

Ding Ding Ding!

And we have a winner...

[/Bingo caller]

The camera gradually pulls back to show that the instructions are about a mile long. Closest thing to humor in the whole film, except maybe for HAL singing "Daisy".

Annie-Xmas
10-18-2001, 08:50 AM
Extremely old joke: What's printed on the wall of the ladies room on the Enterprise. WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE.

Ethilrist
10-18-2001, 09:48 AM
Remember, Enterprise is pre-TOS, so no bathrooms.

Enola Straight
10-18-2001, 09:59 AM
ST5/The Final Frontier;

Kirk and company are captured by Spock's half-brother and
are held in the Brig.

Kirk presses a button on the wall and a 0-g toilet comes out, which Kirk sits on as a bench.

RealityChuck
10-18-2001, 10:09 AM
Of course, the actual reason why toilets weren't shown on TOS was because no one showed them on TV back in the 60s (not even in toilet bowl cleaner commercials).

Most SF films don't show scenes in toilets. So? Most movies don't show scenes in toilets.

Of course, Galaxy Quest shows exactly how Enterprise toilets should have looked liked. ;)

Ukulele Ike
10-18-2001, 10:29 AM
Oh, BOY! I get to be the first one to make the MAD Magazine reference!



Captain Kirk: If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.

Mr. Spock: The BATHROOM? I can't believe my ears!

Captain Kirk: I can't believe your ears either, Mr. Spock.

-- "Star Blecch," circa 1967.

El_Kabong
10-18-2001, 10:40 AM
Most SF films don't show scenes in toilets. So? Most movies don't show scenes in toilets.

Except in the crime/police genre, of course, where nearly every film since about 1970 has a scene where the hero hides and/or kicks the crap out of the bad guys in a public toilet. :D

Legomancer
10-18-2001, 11:05 AM
And yet, not a single person has uttered the phrase "Captain's log".

lesa
10-18-2001, 11:26 AM
On Enterprise last night they showed the captain taking a shower. I couldn't help thinking the bathroom was unrealistically big.

RealityChuck
10-18-2001, 01:17 PM
I couldn't help thinking the bathroom was unrealistically big.
All the rooms on all versions of the Enterprise are unrealistically big. Empty space costs money, so if you're building a spaceship, you want as little of it as possible.

Achernar
10-18-2001, 02:27 PM
A couple of times in DS9, you hear Ferengi referring to it as "waste extraction". Sound painful to me.

robby
10-18-2001, 03:37 PM
Originally posted by lesa
On Enterprise last night they showed the captain taking a shower. I couldn't help thinking the bathroom was unrealistically big.

I completely agree. I heard that the new (old) Enterprise would be smaller and more "submarine-like." These folks obviously haven't taken a close look at the interior of a submarine. Even modern subs have the feeling of living (and working) in an RV.

Snooooopy
10-18-2001, 09:55 PM
All of the poop is redirected toward the photon torpedo tubes, where it is then set afire and shot at Romulan Warbirds.

Pergau
10-19-2001, 06:24 AM
I mentioned this to Mrs Pergau last night (we don't get out much) and she suggested that you could probably modify a tricorder to take care of it.

LorieSmurf
10-19-2001, 07:13 AM
Oh yeah....Scott Bakula in the shower....<drool>

Ethilrist
10-19-2001, 10:35 AM
Originally posted by Achernar
A couple of times in DS9, you hear Ferengi referring to it as "waste extraction". Sound painful to me.

I think the phrase was "waste elimination." Quark's stuck in some ritual dual-to-the-death thing with some Klingon, and he's trying to find a way out of it, so he says to Jadzia and Worf something like, "Isn't there some sort of ritual we can do? You Klingons have a ritual for everything except waste elimination!"

Worf and Jadzia then shared a Look which said to me that, in fact, they DO have a ritual for that... but it's like the bumpy-head thing. They don't talk about it.

WEW
10-19-2001, 10:40 AM
There was an episode of TNG where they made reference to laundry and waste facilities on the ship. I think it was along the lines of "Matter Reclamation" units.

Think about it. The replicators need matter as raw material, which they can re-arrange into any form needed. So all matter is saved, and reclaimed to be used by the replicators. So it's possible the crew could eat the same meal many times over.

Yuck!!!!

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