#1
Old 03-28-2002, 09:27 PM
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Favorite pimple stories (maybe TMI)

So a few weeks ago I was washing my butt in the shower and I noticed a lump. I didn't think much of it, as hey, we all get ass pimples. Over the next couple of days it got bigger and bigger and began to hurt, I was afraid I maybe had a hemmroid (at age 18!) and was getting worried. I put a warm washcloth on it to see if that would help and when I took it off, there was a large white head on the thing. I thought I might as well get it over with and squeezed. Holy #$^&! I could hear the pop and hear the blood and whatever the stuff inside it was hit the shower wall! There was quite a huge mess on my hand and all over the shower. There must have been at least a tablespoon full of junk in there! I was so suprized I nearly wet myself, as I thought I had hit an artery or something. I soon realized I had popped the mother of all pimples and it was on my butt. I gave it one more good squeeze and it happened again! After that, it was all gone and I washed myself off, and applied hydrogen peroxide to the bastard to make sure it wouldn't be re-infected.
Why don't you share your favorite pimple story with me?
#2
Old 03-28-2002, 09:32 PM
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I'm jealous!! I love a good zit.
#3
Old 03-28-2002, 10:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by OpalCat
I'm jealous!! I love a good zit.
Believe me, I'd be willing to work out an equitable trade, if such a thing were possible...
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#4
Old 03-28-2002, 10:36 PM
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I was standin down on the corner, and I'm tellin you I had some MADFLY bitches bringin me money ALL NIGHT LONG.

Then SupaFly comes up to may, and that jive turkey tries to lay down some shit on me that I aint heard since ....

Oh, PIMPLE stories.


Nevermind.
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#5
Old 03-28-2002, 11:01 PM
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Well, this beats my story about the one in my ear and 7th grade French class.

Another un-top-able OP! Damn!
#6
Old 03-29-2002, 12:26 AM
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I can top it with a sinus infection story.

I usually get a nasty cold that leads to an even worse sinus infection at least once year and it generally takes a month or two to get rid of. I hate being congested and have to blow my nose like crazy. Last year I was at the tail end of one of these episodes and thought I had gotten rid of most of the congestion. I was blowing my nose and felt this weird rattle way up in my sinus cavity when I breathed afterward. It was driving me nuts so I determined to see if there was anything in there and begin blowing so hard I expected my brains to come through my nose, and then suddenly I felt a fullness in my nose and blowed harder and then IT came out.

Now we've all blown runny mucus and snot out of our noses but this was a *different* animal. It was this thick, strong rope of yellow green mucus that hung together like rubber cement. I stared at the Kleenex hardly believing what had just come out of my nose. It had this funky (not super strong but noticable) *infected* smell to it. I prodded it with a paper clip out of amazement and it's tensile strength was amazing. It was like a rubber band.

I was a bit freaked out by this so I renewed by blowing efforts and got one more rope of similar mucus for my efforts from the other (left) sinus cavity. Suddenly my sinuses felt clear for the first time in a very long time. I could feel this huge volume of air moving through them. It only lasted for a few minutes before my normal 24/7 stuffiness returned.

I couldn't believe those things were parked up there! How the hell long was I carrying those nasty things around?
#7
Old 03-29-2002, 12:29 AM
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Maybe TMI?

Is there a hole for me to get sick in?
#8
Old 03-29-2002, 03:43 AM
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Way back in high school I had a huge zit right on the tip of my nose. And wile I was being harrassed by the prettist girl in class I felt I had taken enough shit for this zit. So I gave it a squeze and pop it shot out and hit her right in the forehead! I was the hero of all the freeks and geeks for weeks afterwards


Freeks and Geeks for Weeks
Talk about a good band name.
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#9
Old 03-29-2002, 06:42 AM
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It is rather satisfying when you have One of Those Zits that has the solid stuff in it, and when you squeeze it, it shoots out on to the mirror.

Sorry, I don't have a specific cool pimple story. I wouldn't mind hearing the one about The Ear Zit in the English Class.

Ooh ooh, on second though, I do have a weird pimple story, but it didn't happen to me. I had a friend in Middle School that ended up in the hospital with a brain absess. Apparently it started from a zit in her nose that she messed with. Weird.
#10
Old 03-29-2002, 09:08 AM
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Well, so much for lunch.

Anyone interested in being an MPSIMS moderator for a day? Ugh.
#11
Old 03-29-2002, 09:28 AM
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I had one many years back that was on the same scale as renegademaster's, except that it was on my face.

I noticed a large, but not freakishly so, pimple had formed on my left temple, so I decided to give it a squeeze...

POW!!!

After recovering from the recoil, I looked up to see a huge spatter of blood and pus splashed across the mirror. Further gentle prodding brought forth a quarter-sized dollop of yellowish goop, but not too much blood. After washing my hands and cleaning the mirror, I could still feel the soft resistance of another pimple sac further beneath the skin. I decided to press my luck. This one also produced a gout of blood that hit the mirror in an audible spray.

Ah, pimples. A pain in the ass, sure, but sometimes they can be downright entertaining.
#12
Old 03-29-2002, 09:36 AM
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Isn't it amazing the sounds that the human body can make. Like popping a zit and hearing the fart sound as pus goes shooting everywhere. Ah, the simple pleasures...
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#13
Old 03-29-2002, 09:52 AM
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I am horrified with my own fascination with this topic. My first thought this morning was "Oh good, 12 replies! Maybe there will be some good stories!"
#14
Old 03-29-2002, 10:05 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by CrankyAsAnOldMan
I am horrified with my own fascination with this topic. My first thought this morning was "Oh good, 12 replies! Maybe there will be some good stories!"
Ditto. And what's WORSE is that I'm really starting to regret that course of Accutane I endured...
#15
Old 03-29-2002, 10:10 AM
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Color me a freak too, I love the satisfaction of popping the really big ones, I am actually looking forward to my kid getting acne.
#16
Old 03-29-2002, 10:14 AM
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You guys are doing this on purpose, aren't you?
#17
Old 03-29-2002, 11:04 AM
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All these great stories, now I don't feel like so much of a weirdo. I told my mum about what happened, and she said she was jelous. She is one of those "you have something on your face, (sqeeze) "OW!" people
#18
Old 03-29-2002, 11:18 AM
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I love to pop zits. If I could get away with it, I'd chase down strangers and pop their zits. I used to make my boyfriends endure untold hours of me squeezing all the zits on their back.

Ahhh... zits. Love em.
#19
Old 03-29-2002, 11:35 AM
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oh OpalCat, I don't know if that's the nicest thing I ever heard or the meanest.
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#20
Old 03-29-2002, 11:43 AM
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Like CrankyAsAnOldMan and auntie em, I couldn't be more pleased this morning. Sadly, if you put TMI on it, I'll read it. I had a good pimple, though not of the violently expulsed bodily fluid types, several weeks ago. I shave my nether regions, and was beginning to get the irritating stubble back as I lapsed into shower sloth (on a sidenote, putting in your contacts before getting in the shower really helps with getting a smooth and straight landscaping job). Anyhoo, I was scratching about trying to relieve the stubble itch when I noticed a little lump. I got the mirror out and took a look, and discovered an ingrown hair. Ick. I couldn't possibly leave the hair ingrown--after all, the joys of popping a zit are neck and neck with the joys of extracting a seriously ingrown hair, especially from the armpit. But that's really another thread, isn't it? I dug about with the tweezers and got the hair out--a long sucker, looked like it had been there awhile. But there was still a lump there. I gave it a preliminary squeeze, and out came a massive, larva-like blackhead, of near-epic hardness and girth. "My God," I muttered, and placed it carefully on my nightstand, and showed it to my mother that evening.
#21
Old 03-29-2002, 11:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by brondicon
I got the mirror out and took a look, and discovered an ingrown hair. Ick. I couldn't possibly leave the hair ingrown--after all, the joys of popping a zit are neck and neck with the joys of extracting a seriously ingrown hair, especially from the armpit. But that's really another thread, isn't it? I dug about with the tweezers and got the hair out--a long sucker, looked like it had been there awhile. But there was still a lump there. I gave it a preliminary squeeze, and out came a massive, larva-like blackhead, of near-epic hardness and girth. "My God," I muttered, and placed it carefully on my nightstand, and showed it to my mother that evening.
That is a fine piece of literature, and is exactly the sort of thing that keeps me coming back to the SDMB.
#22
Old 03-29-2002, 12:30 PM
lee lee is offline
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Well, my husband has some of the best zits. I scout daily. Once he had a cute little white head between his thighs with what looked like a nice ingrown hair. I squeezed and not only did that on explode, there was one directly under it with a tract that let out a cm away that burbled out a huge quantity of bloody pus. A double-decker zit!!

Check out http://pilonidal.org/ for great stories involving pus and ingrown hairs.
#23
Old 03-29-2002, 12:45 PM
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NOt a zit stroy but it was funny.

Like a lot of black men I get ingorwn hairs under my chin from shaving. So periodically my wife will get out her needles and alcohol and go to work on them. Normally we do this in the bedroom because fo teh good light.

On day I was reading a book on the living room couch, while absently scratching a few recent eruptions. So my wife gets the needle. She'd just stuck the needle in the first bump when Stuffy2 walks in the door and yells "Daddy she's fixin to stick you with a needle" This causes up both to laugh, which of course made her jab me harder with the needle.
#24
Old 03-29-2002, 12:46 PM
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I have no stories of my own at the moment (just average zits with occassional mirror impact for me, I'm afraid, and far fewer of them in the last few years), but I just wanted to say that I love you guys.

*sniff*
#25
Old 03-29-2002, 01:03 PM
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Last fall, I developed a rather large, nasty boil on my upper lip. I kept a hot, moist towel on it, and it subsequently popped, spilling a large amount of gunk into the towel. Naturally, this had to happen a few days before I was to meet Airman, so I went to the doctor and got antibiotics. It speaks well of Airman that he didn't stare at my upper lip the entire time.

Robin
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#26
Old 03-29-2002, 01:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Stuffy
Like a lot of black men I get ingrown hairs under my chin from shaving.
I have always wondered what that was about, but never wanted to ask. Thank you, thank you.
#27
Old 03-29-2002, 01:58 PM
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Ah, memory lane

Here is the thread I started about a particularly nasty one of mine.
#28
Old 03-29-2002, 03:03 PM
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Ingrown-hair story...

I was returning from a camping trip in the passenger seat of my friends car, when a felt a sharp pain on my inner thigh. I wiggled around a bit, thinking I had a thorn in my pantleg or something, but the pain grew to the point that I couldn't stand it any longer.

I shoved my hands down my pants and felt a huge tender lump about the size of a grape. I squeezed hard, yelling "arghhh", and felt something burst with a gurgling pop. I pulled out my hand, covered in gooey strands of gelatinous pus/blood. Not knowing what else to do, I speechlessy showed it to my friends in the car, to their now eternal disgust. Apologizing profusely, I then took off my pants in the car to find my legs smeared with the gunk, and....and....

oh, I just can't go on.
#29
Old 03-29-2002, 03:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by GargoyleWB
Not knowing what else to do, I speechlessy showed it to my friends in the car, to their now eternal disgust.

I'm crying over here.
#30
Old 03-29-2002, 03:52 PM
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I like to squeeze people's blackheads and pimples. I also like to inspect their pore strips.

My man has a very productive blackhead farm on his nose. I go digging for treasures there every few days. On his torso, he has the Motherlode Pore. It's nearly a millimetre in diameter, and snakes away into his skin like a cavern. Left for a few months, it produces the most eeeeenormous blackhead. Larva-like indeed.

I have a theory that everyone has a Motherlode Pore on their body. You just have to search until you find it.
#31
Old 03-29-2002, 04:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by lee
Check out http://pilonidal.org/ for great stories involving pus and ingrown hairs.
lee, I checked out the site. And I am seriously ill at the moment because of it. If you love zit stories, you'll really enjoy this page.

*gag*
#32
Old 03-29-2002, 04:11 PM
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Not technically a zit story, but......After I had my wisdom teeth extracted, I developed a persistent swelling in my jaw. I would take a course of antibiotics, it would go away, then it would come back. After about four rounds of antibiotics (I finished the prescription each time), the swelling came back---about the size of a golf ball, and just under my jawline.

So I was examining my mouth in the mirror, in pain, massaging the lump gently and I noticed as I peered into my mouth that there was a white streak where my inner lip met my gum. Huh, looks a lot like a zit, I thought. Wonder what'll happen if I squeeze.

I kind of pushed the lump in toward the white spot while squeezing---this big gush of pus came out, plus this foul-smelling, foul-tasting greeny-yellow mass that had the consistency of skin. After a couple more squeezes, I spat out lots of whitish pus, but that big hard glob was the worst!

My jaw infection cleared up after that
#33
Old 03-29-2002, 04:11 PM
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So, my insane desire to pop the zits on my boy's back isn't really insane?

Ooh, we'll have a fun Friday night tonight!
#34
Old 03-29-2002, 04:17 PM
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Not technically a zit story, but......After I had my wisdom teeth extracted, I developed a persistent swelling in my jaw. I would take a course of antibiotics, it would go away, then it would come back. After about four rounds of antibiotics (I finished the prescription each time), the swelling came back---about the size of a golf ball, and just under my jawline.

So I was examining my mouth in the mirror, in pain, massaging the lump gently and I noticed as I peered into my mouth that there was a white streak where my inner lip met my gum. Huh, looks a lot like a zit, I thought. Wonder what'll happen if I squeeze.

I kind of pushed the lump in toward the white spot while squeezing---this big gush of pus came out, plus this foul-smelling, foul-tasting greeny-yellow mass that had the consistency of skin. After a couple more squeezes, I spat out lots of whitish pus, but that big hard glob was the worst!

My jaw infection cleared up after that
#35
Old 03-29-2002, 05:37 PM
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Ball zits.

Yeah, ball zits. Not exactly on the scrotum, but just where the regular skin meets the scrotum skin.

I had one for about a year. It was hard and hurt when I tried to squeeze it, but I couldn't get it to come to a head for a long time.

After a long day of work in a particularly hot factory, I went back to my hotel to take a shower, and while washing felt a tiny "bump" on Herb ( yeah, I had a zit so big I named it)

I finished my shower and sat down on the hotel bed, and gave one great squeeze, and this string of blackhead-like material squirted out- it kept coming and coming and coming, and before long I had a little ropey pile of it on the notebook I had placed under my ass when i sat down. I kept on squeezing until nothing more would come out, even though it felt still partly full.

I placed the pile of zit squeezin's on the nightstand and went to bed. In the morning, I felt it in the shower again and the size of it was considerably changed, in fact it was almost gone.

At the end of another hot sweaty day, I inspected it again, and a good squeeze right after the shower yielded a large (oh, black bean size, I guess,) lump with wadded hairs in it. After that Herb went away never(yet) to return.

I miss Herb (snif)

b.
#36
Old 03-29-2002, 06:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Tansu

I have a theory that everyone has a Motherlode Pore on their body. You just have to search until you find it.
I dated a guy for several years who had one on his back. I loved that thing. I'd let it go for weeks... cultivating it, so I could finally harvest that gloriously huge black waxy plug... mmm....
#37
Old 03-29-2002, 06:19 PM
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Re: Ball zits.

Quote:
Originally posted by Billy Rubin
I placed the pile of zit squeezin's on the nightstand and went to bed. In the morning,
Was I the only one who expected to read some sort of Tooth Fairy type line next?
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#38
Old 03-29-2002, 06:25 PM
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I'm literally making this face as I read this whole thread:

My god, but this is revoltingly fascinating.

(memo to myself: do not read the zit thread while eating spaghetti. urp.)
#39
Old 03-29-2002, 06:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by White Lightning

I have always wondered what that was about, but never wanted to ask. Thank you, thank you.

No problem. If you know someone suffering from it, tell them to use witch hazel before shaving and after. It doesn't cease the problem, but it does minimize it.

Yikes, I must have posted that before my coffee took hold. I didn't even notice all those typos.
#40
Old 03-29-2002, 06:40 PM
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Okay, I'll tell the ear zit and 7th grade French story now.

I had this marble-sized lump in one of the folds of my ear for about a month. Having just started to go through puberty, I didn't know you could get zits in your ear.

One day, at the beginning of French class, I was sitting in the very back as per usual, and began running my finger around in my ear. I pushed on the bump with my thumbnail, and you can probably guess what happened.

The junk went all over my hand, all over the carpet, and I hope to god not all over the kid next to me. There's no way to act cool when you're in class and a giant pimple has just exploded in your hand.

Then it started bleeding. And I do mean bleeding. I tried to stop it with my finger, but it just kept on coming. I ended up walking alllllllllll the way up to the teacher's desk, with my finger in my ear, to get a kleenex. The kleenex ended up being covered with blood spots, and I'm back there trying to wad it up so the other kids don't see it.
#41
Old 03-29-2002, 07:15 PM
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OK, I wasn't going to share this, but you all have inspired me...

Last weekend I was showering in preparation for a tourist visit to Vancouver, BC. I didn't notice, but must have popped/scraped open a pimple or ingrown hair.

I'm finished showering, and lift my foot up to the edge of the tub, when a large, perfectly round, dark red circle appears on the tub beneath me. Fascinated, I gape at it as it slowly loses it's crisp edge, mixes with the film of water remaining on the porcelain, begins to drain way.

Then there's another drop. Aha! I'm bleeding. But from where? While I'm trying to discern, Mrs. danalan remarks
You're bleeding from your SCROTUM!
(An observation made possible by her position -- on the throne, as it were)

Searching about, and after much wiping with the towel, I find a pinpoint that is just slowly leaking blood, indeed located on the left lower portion of my scrotum. No amount of application of pressure, application of toilet paper, or other ready method of staunching blood flow seemed to work. Meanwhile, the departure time to meet our tour bus is fast approaching.

Employing the ingenuity perhaps inherent in any SDMB'er, I solved the problem with a device I knew of, but had only encountered personally once before: A Panty Liner.

My previous encounter with A Panty Liner was as a cushion in a boot -- not the same as my then adventure of figuring out which side goes where, and where to attach the device on my boxer briefs to acheive the desired result.

So, humiliatingly I ventured forth, only revealing my secret to Mrs. danalan several hours later, upon her inquiry as to my apparent restlessness. Panty Liners must fit better on women, because it was noticably not entirely comfortable on me.

So, four hours later, I'm in a museum restroom stall, removing the feindish device. It was soaked with blood. Soaked through. Apparently, I was having a heavy flow day.
#42
Old 03-29-2002, 07:21 PM
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Not a zit but a pop-goes-the-infection story.

Back in August of 1974 I was in basic training in the Army. We got a long series of shots with those air pressure gun thingies. One of mine got infected somehow. At first it was a small red spot. Then it got bigger and started to swell a little. It kept on growing until it was a large, flat, red lump with a tiny white spot in the center. It hurt my arm to raise it.

Not being the most accomplished of recruits I was reluctant to go on sick call and maybe get accused of malingering. So I got soap, water, hydrogen peroxide, a towel and a needle and went into the bathroom. I barely poked that little white spot and suddenly a stream of black, green, and white pus starts drooling down my arm. I hadn't expected this much so I sort of just stared at it for a minute. But the girl at the next sink, took one look and shrieked her head off. I squeezed it until it ran clean red blood, then washed it and doused it in peroxide.

Next day at roll call my drill sergeant Ogg(honestly, her name was Sgt. Carol Ogg) asked to see my arm. The girl next to me had ratted on me. The swelling was down by then and my arm was more or less comfortable, so she just told me to go on sick call if it started up again. It did, a little bit, but this time I doctored it when nobody was around, and it healed up completely that time.
#43
Old 03-29-2002, 07:54 PM
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I can't read anymore zit stories......I can't not read any more zit stories
#44
Old 03-29-2002, 08:11 PM
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OK, here comes Broomstick's Abcess Story (again)

I think it started as a bug bite, but truthfully, with a hide like mine with so many creative ways to break out, rash, or otherwise develop nastiness it could have been anything, really.

Well, a day later, I wake up at 2:30 in the morning and it's like I have a ping-pong ball implanted under the skin of my cheek. Pain. Redness. An ominions black scab on the center of it.

So, of course I go into the bathroom to inspect it. This mother was so painful I couldn't even touch my skin lightly, much less squeeze the sucker. After nervous consultation, the husband get's a needle and a bic lighter for some home surgery because the wife is running around the apartment moaning in pain.

Well, that sucker is DEEP. And painful. And the husband can bring himself to get that needle deep enough to release the steadily building pressure.

A couple hours late I am throwing up from the pain. Mind you, I've broken bones and waited days to go to the doctor, so I'm not exactly a whimp in the pain tolerance department.

Dawn comes, the husband calls the doctor who says bring her in first thing. So there I am in the doc's office, my eyes watering from the pain, and the ping-pong is now a softball. The doc goes "ooooo... that needs to be drained. Today. Let me call the hospital, I know this surgeon...."

This day is really starting to suck, you know?

So, we (husband and I) drive to the hospital. The surgeon looks at me. He pokes at the softball. I somehow resist the urge to cause Great Bodily Harm to the perpetrator of such pain. He goes "ooooo.... I'm not comfortable operating where that is. Let me call this other surgeon..."

The new guy is a plastic and reconstructive surgeon. He and the first surgeon start talking about landmarks and nerves and nicking nerves and....

This day is NOT going well.

Eventually, I am ushered down to an OR

[continued on next post]
#45
Old 03-29-2002, 08:31 PM
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Favorite pimple stories (maybe TMI)

I wasn't going to add to this post because my contribution just isn't in the same league as my esteemed colleagues. But I had to chime in and agree that some of my best times in front of the mirror consisted of finding the correct position for my fingers and just the right degree of pressure to gently . . . oh who am I kidding . . . explosively hurl that irritant, assorted pus, blood and other bodily solids, fluids and gases onto the mirror with a satisfying splort .

Isn't it odd that most of the females who responded to this thread are fascinated with popping zits, but are reserved about:
farting, burping, vomiting, etc.? I know I am. Carry on.
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#46
Old 03-29-2002, 08:36 PM
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There's this really stupid song-and-dance we women have to go through before getting surgery called the Great Pregnancy Question. An orderly type comes in and the dialogue goes like this:

"Are you pregnant?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes"
"You are abosolutely sure you are not pregnant?"
"Yes"
"When was your last period?"
Tell him/her
"So you're sure you're not pregnant?"
"Absolutely"
"Could you urinate in this cup so we can do a pregnancy test?"

I'm not even going to start into why this whole exchange is stupid. It should be obvious. Anyhow, after the verdict comes back, confirming my basic honesty, I ask what would happen if I HAD been pregnant.

"We would postpone the surgery until after you deliver."

Uh, yeah. Right. I have this THING on the side of my face evolving into a basketball, obviously a virulent infection of some sort, discussion of involvement of vital facial nerves and you honestly think we're going to DELAY the ice-pick treatment for 9 months? I don't think so!!!!....

A student plastic/reconstructive doctor (has MD, still getting additional training, forget exact term) comes in for a little discussion. They don't really want to put me all the way under, although they will if I insist but that's much more involved and--

"Hey, can you numb me up so I don't feel any pain while you're doing it, even if I am awake?"

"Yes."

"OK, I'll do it that way." Mind you, the swelling is so bad by this time that my speech is starting to get messed up, I'm drooling, and my lower jaw has gone from hot-poker-painful to falling-asleep-tingling-numb as the infection continues to compress the nerve.

Well, I am told to dress in one of those stupid little paper gowns, although they allow me keep my pants on (how generous). I am led into an OR which reminds me of a bathroom I once used while drunk in Clermont-Ferrond, France (another long story). Bilious green tile up to eye level, everything scrubbed, drapped, etc. with big ol' lights overhead. A nurse has me lie down and goes about draping me with bilious green sheets which helps because the OR is cold.

Well, the doctor comes in with the student doc and they start doing things as the nurse puts another sheet over me, this time over my face (most of it) "because we don't want anything nasty to splash on you, especially in your eyes". Oh, lovely, I really needed to hear that. But the nice nurse is holding my hand and I'm trying not to whimper. I just know this gonzo LUMP is sticking up out of a sea of sheets.

Well, the docs spray something on to numb the skin, warn me it's going to hurt (always a bad sign when they say "hurt" or "pain" instead of "discomfort"), apologize in advance, then stab me with this 18 foot long harpoon --- well it felt like that but it was just a teeny little jab with a teeny little needle. There's this horrible nasty burning that still doesn't hurt as bad as the Boiling Zit From Hell, then another jab, then another jab, with a dialogue like this (remember, I'm not talking to distinctly at this point):

"Can you feel this?" jab
"OW!"
"Can you feel this?" jab
"OW! You 'ASTARD!"
"Can you feel this?" jab
"'un uh uh 'ITCH!"
"Can you feel this?" jab
"MUDDER'UCKER!"
"Can you feel this?" jab
"Feel wha?"
"OK, she's ready"

contiued on next post
#47
Old 03-29-2002, 08:59 PM
Charter Member
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: NW Indiana
Posts: 25,819
Do you know what the sound of scalpel cutting through your flesh sounds like?

Take a piece of paper, s-l-o-w-l-y tear it in half in the loudest manner possible. That's what it sounds like.

I am under many bilious green sheets. A nice nurse is having her hand squeezed by little old me. I am actually starting to feel better because of the local anesthia. The doctor says "don't move".

zhzhzhzhzhzhrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip!

There is actually a sense of pressure being relieved at this. All sort of numb and distant. Well, the docs are fooling around and I hear this:

"Oooo... look... there it is"
"Ooooo"
"Huh"
"Oh, it's gonna a be a squirter for sure!"
(me) "Huh?"
"What did I tell you about comments when the patient's awake? You - no talking, OK?"

Well, they get this water-hose thing going, sort of like what is used to clean filthy trucks at the drive-through car wash, and dither about the proper PSI to "clean it out". (12 psi, in case you were wondering). They warn me there may be some nasty odors coming up.

Then, with an odd sort of reverence, they Pop the Zit from Hell.

It was this indescribable splorching, followed by a call for more towels and this frantic mopping up kind of activity going on. I mean, this thing SPRAYED because they were mopping the sheets over my forehead, my shoulder, down one arm..... I was so distracted by the sound effects I neglected to register any odors.

But I felt so much better!!!!!

Wow.

Anyhow, I'm warned that there will be some tugging things going on. It feels like they are pulling the skin from my jaw to my cheekbone up into the air and pressure-spraying the muscles and stuff underneath. For all I know, that might even be what they did. They're like rooting around in there, popping pus pockets, shooting water in there... this goes on for like 20 minutes. More mopping up.

They pull the sheet off my head. "OK, smile for me"

Uh, yeah, dude, I'm like having a really good day here but I go for a grimmace and - hey! The face works again!

"Good, good, excellent."

At this point they start troweling this white goo into my face (feels like they excavated down to my teeth from the outside in), apply enough gauze to supply a MASH unit for a week, and ask me to sit up slowly. I'm escorted to a nice comfy recliner chair and told to sit quietly while the nice nurse watches to make sure I don't just up and die on them. I'm sure I have a stunned look on my face.

to be continued...
#48
Old 03-29-2002, 09:08 PM
Charter Member
Charter Member
Join Date: Jul 1999
Location: Near Amsterdam, NL
Posts: 15,981
There's more...?
#49
Old 03-29-2002, 09:30 PM
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Appleton, Wisconsin
Posts: 146
We need to start a moderator barf bag fund!
#50
Old 03-29-2002, 09:41 PM
lee lee is offline
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Cook County, IL
Posts: 4,682
Quote:
Originally posted by Sophie


lee, I checked out the site. And I am seriously ill at the moment because of it. If you love zit stories, you'll really enjoy this page.

*gag*
I am so glad that you enjoyed the page too! I am dissappointed that my husband and gf won't grow one of those cysts for me. I do pick their zits. my favorite zit story of all time is the the case of the brain zit ,but some of these come close
__________________
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