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#1
Old 10-03-2003, 08:01 AM
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Guys, Would You Let Your GF Wear A Thong?

On our last trip to Miamia (SoBeach), my GF mentioned that she needed a new swimsuit..so she hit the stores. A few hours later she returned with a bikini that was about the size of a postage stamp. She put it on(not that there was much there), and I was a little shocked..I didn't think it was appropriate for someone to waer almost nothing in public. Of course, I have to admit that she looks really sexy in it.
So we went to the beach.and she got a lot of looks. So, was I being posessive? Guys, would you be upsetif your GF wore something that would make a stripper blush?
#2
Old 10-03-2003, 08:05 AM
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I think that she should wear whatever she is comfortable with and if she has a healthy enough body image to wear a stamp on a string, I'm 100% behind that. And her
#3
Old 10-03-2003, 08:14 AM
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Let?

Regards,
Shodan
#4
Old 10-03-2003, 08:16 AM
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This is a Great Debate?
#5
Old 10-03-2003, 08:30 AM
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My GF and I regularly go to nude resorts so a thong wouldn't bother me.
#6
Old 10-03-2003, 08:31 AM
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Do you have to get her permission before wearing something?
#7
Old 10-03-2003, 08:32 AM
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What a silly question!
#8
Old 10-03-2003, 08:34 AM
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Oh, ralph124c, you should be thankful you didn't post this in The Pit! At least GD offers you some protection.
#9
Old 10-03-2003, 08:53 AM
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One, my girlfriend doesn't need my permission to wear anything. She's an adult and gets to make up her own mind.

Two, if she wants to wear a thong in public, I'd certainly go along with that. Who cares if other guys look at her? She's only going home with you, so you might as well make all the other suckers jealous.
#10
Old 10-03-2003, 08:58 AM
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I'm with Shodan.

What do you mean let her?
#11
Old 10-03-2003, 08:58 AM
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What Shodan said.
#12
Old 10-03-2003, 09:06 AM
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Re: Guys, Would You Let Your GF Wear A Thong?

Hey, don't be too hard on him. He wasn't talking about the GF needing his permission.

Quote:
Originally posted by ralph124c
Guys, would you be upsetif your GF wore something that would make a stripper blush?
I think this is a prefectly valid question. Would you be upset if your partner wore clothes that revealed too much?

I believe that a lot of guys are a bit ambivalent on this topic. On one hand we like it when our SO/wife/etc looks hot but on the other hand we may feel uncomfortable when other guys check her out.

Might be a bit more IMHO than GD though.
#13
Old 10-03-2003, 10:02 AM
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Thank you, ralph! I didn't realize it was possible for Shodan and me to agree on anything! You've performed a real public service today.

Daniel
#14
Old 10-03-2003, 11:11 AM
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I'd encourage my GF to wear things "that would make a stripper blush".
#15
Old 10-03-2003, 11:12 AM
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Let? I insist on it.
#16
Old 10-03-2003, 11:55 AM
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"Let" could be him refering to "Let her without me confronting her" in another words should he make it an issue or not
#17
Old 10-03-2003, 11:57 AM
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Guys, Would You Let Your GF Wear A Thong?

My wife refuses to let me have a GF, so it's kinda moot.

Quote:
Originally posted by ralph124c
I didn't think it was appropriate for someone to waer almost nothing in public. Of course, I have to admit that she looks really sexy in it.
Am I the first one to ask for a Jpeg?
#18
Old 10-03-2003, 12:33 PM
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This is kind of silly, but I read the title with the "let" and was already to come in here and whack the OP'er with a dead trout, only to find that several of the mens have already done it. This warms the cockles of my heart. Or would, if I knew what cockles were.

RALPH, if you're not comfortable with her dressing extra sexy, I think it's certainly okay for you to talk to her about it. I mean, it doesn't sound like you're trying to put her in a burka. But I think you should first consider whether you really have any reasonable grounds to object and, if you don't, you probably shouldn't. If the best you can come up with is that you don't like other men looking at a woman who "belongs" to you (my word, not yours), then you should realize that your reaction is perhaps understandable but nevertheless irrational, and not say anything.

IMO.
#19
Old 10-03-2003, 12:40 PM
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OK, maybe I was a little too quick to pick out one word in the OP, and the Lovely and Talented Mrs. Shodan is still a woman who turns heads, and would do in anything she wore.

But she was able to pick out her own clothes and look very nice before we were married, and I don't see that she needs my advice very often now. My reactions when we go to the gym together, and I spot men eyeing her are much more along the lines of "Neener neener neener - I get to sleep with her and you never will" than fierce jealousy.

Besides, ralph124c, as you grown in years, you will realize there is only one way to prevent a woman from wearing something that you don't like.

When she is preparing to put it on, put your arm around her, smile into her eyes, and say, "You know you are always beautiful to me. That's why I am so glad you got over that nonsense about worrying how your ass looks in that."

Then run. Don't look back.

Regards,
Shodan
#20
Old 10-03-2003, 12:41 PM
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It is rare indeed that I agree with Shodan, but that was my first thought.

Let? You don't "let" her do anything-she either does it or she doesn't.

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#21
Old 10-03-2003, 12:44 PM
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Moderator's Note: Although this might turn into a big discussion of feminism and gender roles or something, I'm going to move it to IMHO.
#22
Old 10-03-2003, 12:48 PM
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Re: Guys, Would You Let Your GF Wear A Thong?

Quote:
Originally posted by RTFirefly
Am I the first one to ask for a Jpeg?
Seconded. How can we evaluate the question without adequate visual evidence?
#23
Old 10-03-2003, 01:18 PM
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I regularly beg, plead, wheedle, cajole, connive, con, lie cheat and steal to get any woman in my presence to put on a thing... GF's do not get a pass...
#24
Old 10-03-2003, 01:58 PM
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Quote:
When she is preparing to put it on, put your arm around her, smile into her eyes, and say, "You know you are always beautiful to me. That's why I am so glad you got over that nonsense about worrying how your ass looks in that."

Then run. Don't look back.
That is truly funny!

I encourage my GF to wear sexy (but appropriate) clothing. She certainly wants me to dress better (I'm a big slob). Even her mother comments that she should wear more skirts (yay future mother in law!).

Easing off on the beating the OP is getting for using the word "let" I think if she wore something I didn't like, I might mention it nicely. But I have no say in what she wears or does. Maybe it's different for jealous guys but for me I trust her enough around other men that I couldn't care what she wanted to wear.
#25
Old 10-03-2003, 02:30 PM
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What Jodi said, but I'd like to add that if it becomes an issue that you can reasonably approach but not resolve to both parties satisfaction (she's entitled to wear whatever she wants, but you don't have to be comfortable with her decisions), or not approach reasonably; and you cannot compromise or agree to disagree and get past it, then perhaps it symbolizes a deeper conflict of base beliefs (i.e. you're more conservative than she is) which can lead to other relationship problems you'd be best served assessing sooner rather than later.
#26
Old 10-03-2003, 02:35 PM
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Hmm, I'm trying to decide what I would do in that situation and I'm not 100% sure. My GF is pretty shy, so it would surprise me if she did. I probably wouldn't object per se, maybe just raise an eyebrow and let her know that if she leave the house looking like that then she'll be dealing with men staring the whole time.
#27
Old 10-03-2003, 02:41 PM
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Won't start in on the 'let'-bashing as I think everything about it that's constructive has already been said.

Would I have a problem with it? Heck no. She likes it, she's comfortable wearing it and looks great -- why the heck would I want to stop her?
#28
Old 10-03-2003, 02:55 PM
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I'm surprised that a thong would even turn heads on South Beach. It's almost the norm there to wear "almost nothing in public."

I personally love it when my GF wears sexy swimwear. She's never worn anything as revealing as a thong (she doesn't care for them at all), but I wouldn't mind if she did--in fact, I wish she would wear one, since I think she has the body to pull it off.

As for other guys looking at her, that doesn't bother me. And, to be honest, it kind of turns me on--while all these other guys find her attractive, I'm the only one she chooses to be with. They can look, but they can't touch. I, on the other hand, can look and touch.
#29
Old 10-03-2003, 03:25 PM
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cockles = wrinkles. Just sayin'.

I'm trying to figure out why a guy would care? Hmm.

option a) GF doesn't really have the figure to pull such a thing off in public without lots of other folks (females usually) having a catty comment contest

option b) GF does have the figure to pull such a thing off in public without other folks having a catty comment contest.

Under option a) I could see a guy being rightly concerned for any embarrassment his GF might feel, but at the same time feeling proud of her for wearing what she wants and giving a big middle finger to the fashionistas.

Under option b) I could see a guy having to face doubts about his ability to not regard his GF as property, or doubts about his ability to stand up to the competition, but at the same time feeling prouding of her for having more self esteem or sense of self worth than he does.

Yeah, not really seeing grounds for a problem here.
#30
Old 10-03-2003, 06:45 PM
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Gimmie a break, it's a valid question. (Posts harrassing the wording adds nothing to the value of the discussion). I took it immediatly as whether he would make an issue of it or not.

Anyway, hell ya I'd have a problem with her wearing a thong in public!

It depends on what type guy you are. If you desire innocence and modesty and she wears a thong you have got a serious mismatch. Personally I couldn't deal with it. Even the thought of talking to her about it - if she can go ahead and wear that in public she is obviously an exhibitionist of some sort. I would never seek to constrict someones liberty so I would probably be considering ending the relationship at that point.
#31
Old 10-03-2003, 07:10 PM
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Alright, here's a coralary question: How much say should a woman have over what her husband wears? I ask because every time we head over to her parent's house, I want to be sure to make a good impression, so I wear my Fill-up-the-elephant's-trunk shorts, real classy, and she always objects. I look good, I am sure her parents want their son in law to look his best, shouldn't she back off? I dunno, maybe she dosen't like the color or something. I'm going to show her this thread, and maybe she'll mind her own business nextime.
#32
Old 10-03-2003, 09:30 PM
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VRIGGS, I think your point is valid, in that if you expect people of both sexes to dress "modestly" you might legitimately have a problem with a person who doesn't, but I would point out that underwear and innocence do not actually corrolate in reality.
#33
Old 10-03-2003, 10:32 PM
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Waitaminute, wasn't ralph the guy who wanted to "encourage" his neighbors to wear thongs to his pool party?
#34
Old 10-03-2003, 11:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Shodan
When she is preparing to put it on, put your arm around her, smile into her eyes, and say, "You know you are always beautiful to me. That's why I am so glad you got over that nonsense about worrying how your ass looks in that."

As an experiment (but not for a thong) try "that reminds me of something my mother used to wear" too, and see if she ever wears it again.
#35
Old 10-03-2003, 11:40 PM
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In the first place I don't control what she wears any more than I control what *I* wear (I have the fashion sense of a dead molerat). If she wants to wear something, I'm not going to object

And if she wants to show herself off, I'm fine with it. I mean, really ... she isn't going anywhere, I'm not going anywhere, what's not to like about guys ogling her?
#36
Old 10-03-2003, 11:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Guinastasia
It is rare indeed that I agree with Shodan, but that was my first thought.
I meant to comment on this before ... I find myself agreeing with him TWICE in a month. Maybe even two weeks.

If all this isn't a sign of the apocalypse, then it ain't coming.
#37
Old 10-03-2003, 11:57 PM
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Thong - another word for the phrase butt floss.

Thong - what some wear to prevent their butt cheeks from slapping against each other and creating a God-awful sound.

Ok, ok, so the bad jokes should not grace this thread. But ya know, sometimes you do it because it feels right even if it feels thong to everyone else.



You may now return to serious opinions in this thread. Well, some just had to offer some humor. I'll just go back to listen to Paul McCartney & Wings sing some silly love thong ...

#38
Old 10-04-2003, 01:00 AM
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Only if it's edible.
#39
Old 10-04-2003, 01:44 AM
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Girlfriend?
#40
Old 10-04-2003, 04:42 AM
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Anyway, if you don't want her to wear it and don't want to be dominating about it (which I suspect is the concensus here), all you have to do is to look innocent and say the four fatal words: "Are you wearing that?" On occasion I have used this just to fuck with my wife's head - particularly funny when the taxi's just arrived. (Of course I always tell her I was joking.)
#41
Old 10-04-2003, 04:56 AM
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If I were you I would tie her up in the bedroom and keep her there m8.



#42
Old 10-04-2003, 05:07 AM
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Girlfriend? Why should my Masculine Authority be confined to a hypothetical girlfriend? I hereby COMMAND all Doper women, by virtue of my Virtuous Shining Y chromosomes and Crotchtacular Scepter of JusticeTM, to commence wearing nothing but thongs. Please post pictures. Exemptions will be granted upon application to those in Arctic and Antarctic Circles.

:wally
#43
Old 10-04-2003, 05:36 AM
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Wow. So many real issues to discuss here and virtually everyone missed.

Should one party to a relationship control what the other party wears (the "let" controversy)? Obviously very few people who read this board live where slavery is allowed, so I'll skip past the idea that one person can actually force another to do anything and get to the idea that someone may tell their significant other, "I don't want you to wear that." I have been on the planet long enough to know that women tell men that ALL THE TIME! Part of the mating ritual is the female makeover of the male. Yet suggesting that a male might say the same to a female relegates him to "controlling asshole," right? Vriggs' opinion was right on point--he doesn't try to "control" the woman in his life by saying, "You CAN'T wear that in public," but quite validly says, "You aren't the person I thought you were, and I don't want to be with someone who would consider wearing that in public." True, many are not nearly as eloquent, but it comes down to the same thing. And shouldn't we all let our SOs know our values as soon in the relationship as possible?

The real question Ralph asked: "Should I feel jealousy when she wears something that we both know will draw lots of attention from other men?"

Let's start with, "Should I feel jealousy?" Jealousy is rooted in insecurity, and with a girlfriend, certainly early in the relationship, insecurity is quite natural. We are hard-wired to defend a potential mate against all other competitors, but that's the animal (base) instinct. Humans are capable of thought and therefore I have to applaud Ralph for moving past the base instinct to cognitive reasoning (too few ever do). The real source of the insecurity, though, is the reason WHY she wants to wear the thong: is she actually TRYING to attract attention, and if so, why? If she is wearing the thong to try and find a better boyfriend, yeah I would say that is cause for legitimate insecurity, hence the jealousy. If she is wearing it to please Ralph (not too likely, since he isn't too sure he is pleased by such a public display), then it shouldn't be causing any insecurity.

So now we have the REAL, real question: Why is she trying to attract attention? Maybe she is wearing it because she feels good about how she looks in a thong and it really feeds her ego. Maybe she is wearing it to see how Ralph reacts. Maybe she is wearing it to find a boyfriend who isn't so insecure. Maybe she is wearing it to find another boyfriend, period. Maybe she is wearing it because she is an exhibitionist and the attention is a sexual turn-on. (I left out, "Maybe she is wearing it because it is more comfortable" because that proposition is so unsupportable as to be ridiculous. My wife swears they are more comfortable, but I notice they aren't nearly as comfortable BEFORE she gets a tan.) Most likely it is a combination of several reasons, and Ralph really needs to ask THAT question of his girlfriend.

Finally, I must comment that in a mature, committed relationship this question would never come up. They both know before she leaves to go shopping what they both like and what they both expect. He already knows she isn't doing anything to attract a new suitor, thong or no thong. In a mature, committed relationship he won't be insecure, and therefore won't be concerned with anything she chooses to wear (or not wear), but they will both know what the other expects and will want to meet those expectations.

Which leads me to the question Ralph DIDN'T ask: "Should couples dress to please each other?" I have to admit in our house this comes up a lot more often in discussions of whether or not she is going to cut her hair, and my opinion seems to cause a lot of controversy with the neighborhood wives. I think we should dress (and wear our hair) to please our spouse (or significant other). Anything less exhibits a selfishness that is counterproductive to the relationship. So I guess that makes me a controlling asshole, but so be it.

So Ralph, get to know your girlfriend better, and help her get to know you better. Figure out her motivation behind wearing the thong, and figure out your real feelings about it (beyond the instinctual reaction to fend off competitors). Discuss it at length with her, and then you will have learned a lot about whether this is a supportable relationship.

Good luck and please let us know how it all turns out!
#44
Old 10-04-2003, 06:15 AM
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I believe Lady Chance would only laugh at me if I ever tried to prevent her from wearing something.

And criticizing what she wears only leads to disaster.

She's a big girl. She can wear what she wants.
#45
Old 10-04-2003, 06:38 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by iampunha
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Guinastasia
It is rare indeed that I agree with Shodan, but that was my first thought.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I meant to comment on this before ... I find myself agreeing with him TWICE in a month. Maybe even two weeks.

If all this isn't a sign of the apocalypse, then it ain't coming.
My Evil Plan is working!

Soon the Universe will be mine - and there is nothing that Captain Testosterone can do to stop me!



BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA1

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#46
Old 10-04-2003, 07:09 AM
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If you don't want your girlfriend to wear a G-string in public just tell her that if she wears hers, you'll wear yours...


My GF could wear a monkey suit out if she wanted to...but the chances of that are about the same as her going to the beach and wearing a G-string. Bugger!
#47
Old 10-04-2003, 07:09 AM
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Quote:
Greg: I'll skip past the idea that one person can actually force another to do anything and get to the idea that someone may tell their significant other, "I don't want you to wear that." I have been on the planet long enough to know that women tell men that ALL THE TIME! Part of the mating ritual is the female makeover of the male. Yet suggesting that a male might say the same to a female relegates him to "controlling asshole," right? Vriggs' opinion was right on point--he doesn't try to "control" the woman in his life by saying, "You CAN'T wear that in public," but quite validly says, "You aren't the person I thought you were, and I don't want to be with someone who would consider wearing that in public." True, many are not nearly as eloquent, but it comes down to the same thing. And shouldn't we all let our SOs know our values as soon in the relationship as possible?
Actually, the gender is irrelevant. The concept of allowing or not allowing your partner to do something is stupid no matter which sex it is. I don't mind my mate letting me know what his tastes are or if an outfit doesn't look right on me. But neither of us would dream of putting ourselves in charge of the other's wardrobe. The value of independence is more important to us than any clothes could be.

BTW, you chose a phrase (controlling asshole), put quotation marks around it as if someone had actually used it, and then defended yourself against being called such. What gives?

I agree with you that being honest about what we like and don't like is a good idea, but a little tact and good timing never hurt anyone.

Weirddave, I am curious about why what your wife's parents see you wearing is more important to her than your comfort? Who is she really trying to please -- her parents or herself?
#48
Old 10-04-2003, 05:45 PM
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"The concept of allowing or not allowing your partner to do something is stupid no matter which sex it is. "
How far does this go? Is it stupid for a woman to tell her SO that he can't go to a strip club? Kiss other women? Have sex with other women?
#49
Old 10-04-2003, 07:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Zoe
Weirddave, I am curious about why what your wife's parents see you wearing is more important to her than your comfort? Who is she really trying to please -- her parents or herself?
Whoosh! Re-read what i said i was gonna wear.
#50
Old 10-04-2003, 07:33 PM
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ABSOLUTELY NOT!

The woman i'm with does not need to show her ass to all. Exhibitionists are not on my menu, I do not get off watching guys stare f*ck the woman i'm with.
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