Old 11-25-2003, 09:15 AM
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 2,860
Looking for Skeleton Puns

Aside from "BONEFIED!", can anyone think of any good skeleton puns out there?
Old 11-25-2003, 09:17 AM
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Do they have to be humerus?
Old 11-25-2003, 09:20 AM
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Originally posted by jjimm
Do they have to be humerus?
No. Just the bare bones, please.
Old 11-25-2003, 09:24 AM
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and you're making no bones about it.

Hmm - I *suppose* there could conceivably be a transnational bit of post-accident surgery wherebyy the Nip bone was connected to the Thai bone?

Ye gods, if I typed that out loud, I *must* need more coffee (which might also explain why I don't understand the "bonefied" thing.)

Ah, given a time-machine - until about 25 ish years ago, you couldl not buy alchohol on a Sunday in Scotland unless you were a BONa fide traveller.

Hmm - or there might be a cooking disaster after which one was left with only "bone, bone, on the range".

Um, it's all right - I'll leave quietly!
Old 11-25-2003, 09:33 AM
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 1,421
I'm not thinking clearly because I'm running a femur.

Some people think I look like Pelvis Presley.

..these aren't puns, are they? Whatever they are, they're bad.
Old 11-25-2003, 09:34 AM
Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 28,701
I'm asking if you want them to be rib-tickling, or just hip?
Old 11-25-2003, 10:10 AM
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 81
Why didn't the boy skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have the guts

Why didn't the girl skeleton cross the road?

She didn't have the balls
Old 11-25-2003, 10:16 AM
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 308
Would love to help and was asking within my immediate radius for ideas. The boss came up to ask me what I was doing and had to tell him a little fibula - he looked very sternum and walked away muttering. So I am sorry I won't be able to help - best of luck with your search.....
Old 11-25-2003, 10:29 AM
Join Date: Dec 2002
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With average skull, I'd think you'd find yourself more than carpalable. Turn on the radius and relax.
Crows. Keeping our highways clear of roadkill for over 80 years
Old 11-25-2003, 11:27 AM
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Location: London
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<-- *is skullking behind the door*
Old 11-25-2003, 11:56 AM
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"Pat, Ella, have you two been introduced?"

Favorite new actor: Holden Magroin

[alright, alright, I stole it from Friends]

I'm tired of takin' it on the chin, but I'd give my eyeteeth to be a more forehead-looking person.
Old 11-25-2003, 12:09 PM
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Oh, tibia in Paris now that spring is here!

Attendance at the meeting is mandible.

Socket to me!

. . .

OK, that's it. Ulna longer be a participant in this nonsense.
Old 11-25-2003, 12:25 PM
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Missoula, Montana, USA
Posts: 19,872
I wish we could automate these puns. It's a pain to do them mandibally.

But could any computer possibly comprehend the stapes of jokemaking: timing and comic irrelevance?

I don't know, but I won't say it'll never happen. That could easily become a boner.
"Ridicule is the only weapon that can be used against unintelligible propositions. Ideas must be distinct before reason can act upon them."
If you don't stop to analyze the snot spray, you are missing that which is best in life. - Miller
I'm not sure why this is, but I actually find this idea grosser than cannibalism. - Excalibre, after reading one of my surefire million-seller business plans.
Old 11-25-2003, 12:44 PM
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 308
Boss has gone home now so I won't get the sacrum if I continue looking for puns. Still haven't thought of any yet though....
Old 11-25-2003, 12:57 PM
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Location: Bedrock
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They told me I broke my tibia but that turned out to be a fibula.
Old 11-25-2003, 01:08 PM
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Sol3, Orion Arm, MilkyWay
Posts: 2,581
The ultimate obvious dirty pun imperfectly recalled from Hustler Humor

Q: Why did the nympho date a skeleton?

A: 'Cause he always had a boner for her.
Old 11-25-2003, 02:18 PM
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A skeleton walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Give me a beer.... and a mop."
"Believe me, brother. Until you've been booed by a small mob of middle aged New York swingers wearing see-through Tarzan outfits and packing squeeze bottles of fruit flavored lubricant, you don't know the meaning of fear." - Rev. Billy C. Wirtz
Old 11-25-2003, 02:34 PM
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Puns are part and tarsal of the skeleton. It's gauche to carpal puns. Now, I don't want to make too many ribs or someone will slap my coccyx.
Old 11-25-2003, 03:02 PM
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Location: chicago illinois, usa
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Guess I'll have to bone up on my anatomy.
Old 11-25-2003, 03:57 PM
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My favorite: We were watching Army of Darkness. There's a scene where some skeleton warriors are dragging along some scantily-clad women in chains. My friend blurts out, "Look, that one has a boner!"
Old 11-25-2003, 04:13 PM
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Lafayette, IN
Posts: 12,045
An ear for puns?

Don't want to stirrup any trouble, but I am interested in this topic anvil try to help you. Am I a hammer what?
Old 11-25-2003, 10:58 PM
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 725
Blast you, Dragwyr, I was gonna use that!

On a toy: "Made by patella"

Ok, I know that was terrible, I'll leave....
Old 11-26-2003, 07:23 AM
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Theres a new comedy sensation at the graveyard. Red Skeleton.
Old 11-26-2003, 08:18 AM
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None of this makes any sense. Must be a clavicle error.

Where did all those bite marks on your shoulder come from?
Count Scapula!
Old 11-26-2003, 09:27 AM
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Why can't skeletons play church music?

Because they don't have any organs.
Old 11-26-2003, 10:59 AM
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Bedrock
Posts: 26,079
Skeletons don't have a tendon, see, to stay together.
Old 11-26-2003, 11:52 AM
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 308
Still looking - may have found something by tomarrow....
Old 11-26-2003, 01:53 PM
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Location: Redmond, WA USA
Posts: 3,407
Stop SKULLking around, why are you depending on us for your rib ticklers?

It's like if theire was a young lady trying to choose a sex partner and in line she saw 5 naked men and one skeleton, she;'d dtake the skeleton because why settle for cocks 1-5 when coccyx will do?

Q How is a doctor feeling a baby's head like Ponce De Leon?

A He's looking for the Fontinelles of Youth
"You need to have performed three miracles to become a saint, and two of them can be card tricks." - Snooooopy
Old 11-26-2003, 02:20 PM
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Join Date: May 2000
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Originally posted by Dragwyr
A skeleton walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Give me a beer.... and a mop."
Oh that is just too damn funny. Thanks to you, I now have beer on my monitor, numbskull.

I have a tendoncy to laugh when I read threads like this.
Old 12-16-2016, 10:41 PM
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 1
:well tibia honest aren't my pun humerus it would be such a femur-ry situation because it would skull my reputation after all my puns are BONE-ified by a ton of comedian! a skeleton!
my sister:...*snickers*
me: i am not even telling you a fibula all of this is rib-bing me everyday

if i can help someone in need

Old 12-17-2016, 11:06 AM
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Location: Schenectady, NY, USA
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The hip bone's Schenectady the thigh bone...
Old 12-18-2016, 02:10 AM
Join Date: Jul 1999
Location: Chicago
Posts: 8,514
Dig up the graves of Napoleon and his family, and you'll see lots of bony parts.

Last edited by rowrrbazzle; 12-18-2016 at 02:11 AM.
Old 12-18-2016, 08:05 AM
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Location: USA, North Carolina, Cary
Posts: 2,457
Originally Posted by El Elvis Rojo View Post
Aside from "BONEFIED!", can anyone think of any good skeleton puns out there?
I noticed this OP is 13 years old. How soon did you kneed the puns?

Last edited by whitetho; 12-18-2016 at 08:06 AM. Reason: math
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