Thread Tools
Old 05-13-2004, 05:55 AM
BANNED
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Auchenflower, Qld, Aus.
Posts: 217
On Which Side Do you Hang?

I went to the tailor today to get my first ever suit. Sad in a way, I guess it means that I'm joining the adult world. But I need the suit for upcoming events.

We agreed on a fabric (light Aussie wool), a colour (navy blue pinstripe) and a style (three button, narrow lapels etc). At any rate, the tailor had these paper thingies that were probably suit patterns that he wrapped around my shoulders, my chest, down my arms, my middle, my hips and the rest, making measurements with his tape measure all the while. When he got to my hips he asked, "On which side do you hang?"

Ummm? WTF?

Anyway, he explained that men's dangly bits usually hang left or hang right. I, apparently, hang left. My dad explained that this means that my dangly bits are more comfortable on the left side of the crutch seam.

New concept for me.

Do women hang? Does the seam feel more comfortable pitched to the left or the right of the labia? If so, on which side do you hang?

Men, on which side do you hang?
Old 05-13-2004, 06:43 AM
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Cheesesteak City
Posts: 2,538
"Calling Joey Tribbiani, paging Mr. Joey Tribbiani."
Old 05-13-2004, 06:56 AM
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Yorkshire, England
Posts: 4,056
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sisyphus' Stone
Do women hang? Does the seam feel more comfortable pitched to the left or the right of the labia? If so, on which side do you hang?
Us ladies leave the 'hanging' to the men. For us, the seem just goes down the middle.
__________________
********************************
"Eat right, exercise daily, live clean, die anyway."

Official Doper Brat
Old 05-13-2004, 07:17 AM
Guest
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Nottingham, UK.
Posts: 65
Well, I tend to hang to the left (or "dress to the left", as i was taught to say by...I think it was my mum at about age 8 or so?). I've never had this confirmed by anyone in a professional tailoring capacity, but my girlfriend has fact-checked and agrees with me in my assessment.
Old 05-13-2004, 08:20 AM
Charter Member
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Leesburg, GA
Posts: 28,135
My tailor prefers to say "Which way do you dress?", like Kombucha'ShroomPerson says. I "dress" to the right, which I find somewhat alarming as I am a leftie. I guess "The Boys" think we should be a rightie. Oh, and the tailor has that info on file now so he doesn't have to ask anymore. I'm not sure what to think about having that little piece of TMI on file somewhere.
__________________
TMI to squick out swampbear? Honey, I'm good, but I ain't that good. - ivylass

It beats digging ditches in the snow. - carnivorousplant
Old 05-13-2004, 08:33 AM
Charter Member
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 10,910
Tailors in Hong Kong always ask which way do you dress. Most likely a British expression...
Old 05-13-2004, 08:51 AM
Member
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 41,684
Quote:
My tailor prefers to say "Which way do you dress?", like Kombucha'ShroomPerson says.
I've never heard this before. Nor have I ever been asked which way I "hang". Maybe I should be insulted by that.


I'm glad I read this, though. I'm sure it will spare me embarassment somewhere down the road:

Tailer: Which way do you dress?

CalMeacham: One leg at a time, like everyone else.
__________________
After he finished his work on conditioning dogs, Ivan Petrovich Pavlov ambitiously tried his theories on angels, eventually training a flock of them to go and get their wings from a rack when signaled with a bell.
Old 05-13-2004, 09:02 AM
Member
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 12,509
Ah, the pleasures of tailored clothing.

If you get custom fitted shirts, be sure to tell the tailor on which wrist you wear your watch. He'll make those cuffs slightly wider, to accomodate the watchband.
Old 05-13-2004, 09:34 AM
Charter Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Posts: 14,582
I'm glad I read this thread too. Because up untill now, I think I'd probably FREAK if my tailor asked me that.
Old 05-13-2004, 09:35 AM
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: N4754.694' W12205.773'
Posts: 1,138
Ah the pleasures of tailored clothing, When I joined the workforce many years ago I purchased two tailored suits and four white shirts. Total cost was $275, almost all of my savings at the time. Man I loved wearing those suits! I have never had clothing that fit so well, thats when I found out that I dress to the left.
__________________
My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. ~Penn Jillett
Old 05-13-2004, 09:44 AM
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2000
Posts: 7,313
I dress left.
__________________
Aliens can have my penis when they pry it from my cold, dead fingers.
Old 05-13-2004, 10:14 AM
Charter Member
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: NY (Manhattan) NY USA
Posts: 19,138


[TMI]

I don't direct my parts to go to either side, and for that matter none of the boyparts end up residing in the upper reaches of my pants legs, but rather up higher, above the divide.

Is this like a loose-boxer-shorts thing?
__________________
Disable Similes in this Post

---
Omar Little suggests lunatics like me include a disclaimer
Old 05-13-2004, 10:25 AM
The Turtle Moves!
Charter Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: SoCal
Posts: 48,608
I've always heard it as "Do you dress left or right?"

Left. Definitely left.
__________________
I coulda used more cowbell.
Old 05-13-2004, 10:43 AM
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 16
The one time I got fitted by a tailor I asked if one way was more common than the other, and he said that generally right handed men dress left and vice versa. (I'm a righty and I dress left, so there you go.)
Old 05-13-2004, 11:40 AM
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Montreal, Canada
Posts: 2,894
I've never understood the concept. When you "dress" to one side or the other, does that imply that when putting on your underclothes, you actually place your dick to rest on the left or the right, and then the (presumably tight-ish) underpants, once pulled up, keep it in that position?

I mean, I've never stuck it anywhere. I just let it go where it goes, and when standing, that's hanging straight down. Right now I'm in boxer-briefs, and sitting, and it's kind of sticking to the left, but I certainly didn't place it there.

And how tight are these tailor-made pants that the position of a penis would make such a difference? All of my dress pants are rather roomy.
__________________
I'm Geobabe's #1 Gay Boyfriend!
Old 05-13-2004, 11:49 AM
Charter Member
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: St. Louis, MO 50mi. West
Posts: 4,469
Quote:
Originally Posted by scott evil
And how tight are these tailor-made pants that the position of a penis would make such a difference? All of my dress pants are rather roomy.
Maybe roomy for YOU!
__________________
GaryM
Old 05-13-2004, 12:00 PM
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 3,996
Quote:
Originally Posted by scott evil
When you "dress" to one side or the other, does that imply that when putting on your underclothes, you actually place your dick to rest on the left or the right, and then the (presumably tight-ish) underpants, once pulled up, keep it in that position?
Wait a minute, are we talking about gnads, or the big kahuna?

My boys are lower on the left, and Mr. Johnson usually hangs out on the left when I'm wearing boxers.
Old 05-13-2004, 12:10 PM
Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Bedrock
Posts: 26,079
Y'all can get yours to go down?
Old 05-13-2004, 12:20 PM
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Montreal, Canada
Posts: 2,894
Quote:
Originally Posted by neuroman
Wait a minute, are we talking about gnads, or the big kahuna?

My boys are lower on the left, and Mr. Johnson usually hangs out on the left when I'm wearing boxers.
They're talking about nuts?

And GaryM: My dress pants are roomy when I'm standing. When I sit down, I can see how "dressing" to one side or the other would be an issue. I was just confused about the apparently common practice of actually placing your dick on one side or the other.
__________________
I'm Geobabe's #1 Gay Boyfriend!
Old 05-13-2004, 12:24 PM
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: O'do, FLA (aka) Mouseland
Posts: 347
MamaCoffee always comments about stuff like this--but she says, "How do you park it?"
All I can say is HubbyCoffee asked me to NOT purchase the underwear that has the opening horizontal as they fail to keep the package parked. Apparently as the cotton ages it loosens up and he experienced lotshock and Mr.J and the twins tumbled out then they got caught in his lap and he CRUNCHED them. He was not a happy camper that day.

Seams in women's underwear are generally not in that area. And if my labia get so large as to crowd the pantseam, parking would be evenly divided due to the nature of the organ.
__________________
Coffee \_/D
Old 05-13-2004, 03:18 PM
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: in his nowhere land
Posts: 1,734
Yeah, I don't really get this question. I wear boxer briefs, and I just kind of whip 'em on. So usually the act of putting them on moves things in a northerly direction, and then as I move around, they go where they want to. No real preference for direction.

Does the question have anything to do with which of the boys hangs lower? Because the left one hanging lower is the situation for most men, IIRC.
Old 05-13-2004, 03:34 PM
BANNED
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 195
I have read this entire thread and I've been a penis owner for 21 proud years.... I have no idea what you people are talking about.

I think it is possible that none of you are talking about the same thing, or should I say thingy.
Old 05-13-2004, 03:39 PM
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 5,724
Hmm, left, I suppose... I'm sitting down (wow, this feels weird... feeling oneself while sitting at these message boards), and my penis and one nut are on the left side of the seam, whereas my other nut is on the right...
__________________
magnae clunes mihi placent, nec possum de hac re mentiri.
"Hubert Cumberdale, you taste like soot and poo." *cry*
disputed MPSIMS TMI award winner! and Also MMP TMI winner!
Old 05-13-2004, 03:44 PM
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: The bunghole of WA
Posts: 12,359
When my dad joined the Marines he was asked whether he "dressed left" or "dressed right".

I dress left. And yes, for those who are wondering, it just goes that way naturally. I don't purposely put it there. I'm also right-handed, but I "hold" with my left hand when I need to hold it, say for urinating. That might have something to do with it. How many right-handers here "hold" with their left hand? And do lefties typically hold right-handed?
__________________
"I am an endless barrel of exposition!

But yeah, I'm done."
(El Goonish Shive)
Old 05-13-2004, 04:19 PM
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: The house my Bank owns...
Posts: 154
Quote:
Originally Posted by SHAKES
I'm glad I read this thread too. Because up untill now, I think I'd probably FREAK if my tailor asked me that.
and your sig:

....of course I know. I know everything and that which I do not know aint worth knowing anyway...

So does that mean your sig is WRONG!!!

or

you don't think that knowing which way you hang is important???

I hang left by the way...
Old 05-13-2004, 04:41 PM
Charter Member
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Florida
Posts: 15,175
Quote:
Originally Posted by Already in Use
Does the question have anything to do with which of the boys hangs lower? Because the left one hanging lower is the situation for most men, IIRC.
I heard this for the first time very recently and read this thread specifically to find out if it is true. Interesting!
Old 05-13-2004, 04:58 PM
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Tally-ho in Simville
Posts: 2,978
Quote:
Originally Posted by quiltguy154
"Calling Joey Tribbiani, paging Mr. Joey Tribbiani."
[ross] Oh, yeah, yeah sure. That is how they measure pants.....in prison![/ross]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sisyphus' Stone
Do women hang? Does the seam feel more comfortable pitched to the left or the right of the labia? If so, on which side do you hang?
Wouldn't you have to be a professional cheerleader to answer this question?
__________________
Well....mostly harmless
Old 05-13-2004, 05:10 PM
BANNED
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: Madison WI
Posts: 22,505
Quote:
Originally Posted by scott evil
I mean, I've never stuck it anywhere. I just let it go where it goes, and when standing, that's hanging straight down. Right now I'm in boxer-briefs, and sitting, and it's kind of sticking to the left, but I certainly didn't place it there.
Now what did I do with that Evilcam link?
__________________
Fuck banner ads on pay-to-post boards
Old 05-13-2004, 06:55 PM
Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: On the level, if inclined
Posts: 13,233
To the right. If He's off to the right I don't usually remember He's with me. If He gets into the left leg, however, I am quite uncomfortable and we end up getting into a bit of a match. Sometimes rather heated!

But...what? Does the taylor give you more room on one side? Should I get all self conscious if the taylor doesn't ask (oh God! He can tell just by looking!) Should I feel small if he has to ask? What if he just CHECKS!

This is an informative thread.
Old 05-13-2004, 07:09 PM
Charter Member
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Leesburg, GA
Posts: 28,135
Quote:
Originally Posted by Inigo Montoya
To the right. If He's off to the right I don't usually remember He's with me. If He gets into the left leg, however, I am quite uncomfortable and we end up getting into a bit of a match. Sometimes rather heated!

But...what? Does the taylor give you more room on one side? Should I get all self conscious if the taylor doesn't ask (oh God! He can tell just by looking!) Should I feel small if he has to ask? What if he just CHECKS!

This is an informative thread.
Tailor reaches up, squeezes, and says "Sir, it looks like you dress right." Of course, if he says, "Sir is that a banana in your pants or are you just glad to see me", it might be cause for alarm depending on which way you swing and if he's cute or not.
__________________
TMI to squick out swampbear? Honey, I'm good, but I ain't that good. - ivylass

It beats digging ditches in the snow. - carnivorousplant
Old 05-13-2004, 07:15 PM
Charter Member
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Leesburg, GA
Posts: 28,135
Quote:
Originally Posted by chaoticdonkey
Hmm, left, I suppose... I'm sitting down (wow, this feels weird... feeling oneself while sitting at these message boards), and my penis and one nut are on the left side of the seam, whereas my other nut is on the right...
Would you like for me to check it out to make sure which way you hang?
__________________
TMI to squick out swampbear? Honey, I'm good, but I ain't that good. - ivylass

It beats digging ditches in the snow. - carnivorousplant
Old 05-13-2004, 07:21 PM
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Chicago 'Burbs
Posts: 5,457
When my baby brother was about 17, my graduation gift to him was a tuxedo. And my baby brother is one good looking little stud, so he was making the (female) tailor a bit hot and bothered. She flustered a bit and then indicated his crotch sort of vaguely and said, "err, um, ahh..." I guessed what the problem was and asked, "Mike, do you dress left or right?" and his eyeballs almost fell out of his head. He said, "Why do you even know that question??"

I don't actually know why I know that question, but since I have no older brothers and no father, I coudn't have gotten it from them. I just sort of assumed everyone knew it.
Old 05-13-2004, 07:32 PM
Charter Member
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Leesburg, GA
Posts: 28,135
Quote:
Originally Posted by LifeOnWry
When my baby brother was about 17, my graduation gift to him was a tuxedo. And my baby brother is one good looking little stud, so he was making the (female) tailor a bit hot and bothered. She flustered a bit and then indicated his crotch sort of vaguely and said, "err, um, ahh..." I guessed what the problem was and asked, "Mike, do you dress left or right?" and his eyeballs almost fell out of his head. He said, "Why do you even know that question??"

I don't actually know why I know that question, but since I have no older brothers and no father, I coudn't have gotten it from them. I just sort of assumed everyone knew it.
It's experience gained from years and years of crotch staring my dear.
__________________
TMI to squick out swampbear? Honey, I'm good, but I ain't that good. - ivylass

It beats digging ditches in the snow. - carnivorousplant
Old 05-13-2004, 07:40 PM
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Chicago 'Burbs
Posts: 5,457
Quote:
Originally Posted by swampbear
It's experience gained from years and years of crotch staring my dear.
Wait, I thought that was the explanation for my poor eyesight and my hairy palms!
Old 05-13-2004, 08:52 PM
Charter Member
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Leesburg, GA
Posts: 28,135
Quote:
Originally Posted by LifeOnWry
Wait, I thought that was the explanation for my poor eyesight and my hairy palms!
No, dear, that comes from all those years of watching porn while lying in bed.
__________________
TMI to squick out swampbear? Honey, I'm good, but I ain't that good. - ivylass

It beats digging ditches in the snow. - carnivorousplant
Old 05-13-2004, 09:05 PM
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Chicago 'Burbs
Posts: 5,457
Quote:
Originally Posted by swampbear
No, dear, that comes from all those years of watching porn while lying in bed.
Ohhh.

Ah, um... so then... this twitch I have...

It's the online pornographic fanfic, isn't it? Damn, I knew that would get me in trouble.
Old 05-13-2004, 09:37 PM
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Door of your fridge
Posts: 3,786
Up or down.

Kilts.

Easy.
__________________
"There are no differences but differences of degree between different degrees of difference and no difference." -- William James
Old 05-13-2004, 09:44 PM
Guest
Join Date: May 1999
Location: Southern Hoosierdom
Posts: 1,672
Tmi Warning!!!

I think many of you are beating around the answer...

my crackpot theory is that you hang/dress opposite the hand you used to masturbate (at least back in your early really frequent, er, formative years....).

I'm right handed but hang right... but the left hand was the preferred instrument of self-abuse...
__________________
"An angel satyr walks these hills." - from the diary of Rev. Francis Kilvert
Old 05-13-2004, 10:32 PM
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Waynesboro, PA
Posts: 4,234
K. I have heard of which side do you "dress".... I .... don't dress on either side... I like it to be right down the middle. Not left or right. If it's not.... I go to the bathroom and readjust....
Old 05-13-2004, 10:41 PM
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Waynesboro, PA
Posts: 4,234
Quote:
Originally Posted by tpayne
I think many of you are beating around the answer...

my crackpot theory is that you hang/dress opposite the hand you used to masturbate (at least back in your early really frequent, er, formative years....).

I'm right handed but hang right... but the left hand was the preferred instrument of self-abuse...
Oh yeah.... I switch off... or use both.....
Old 05-14-2004, 02:46 AM
Charter Member
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: NY (Manhattan) NY USA
Posts: 19,138
After a bit of experimentation I can report that I dress "up". Everything is way well above the seam that divides leg from leg, and symmetrically arranged.
__________________
Disable Similes in this Post

---
Omar Little suggests lunatics like me include a disclaimer
Old 05-14-2004, 04:26 AM
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Santa Fe, New Mexico
Posts: 15
I have found that if I don't Re- Dress my quadratus lumburum becomes stressed.
Old 05-14-2004, 08:33 AM
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 859
A slight highjack:

My Radiologist father told me that in X-rays of a man with an injured leg the penis will be on the side that's injured. He had a medical term for it, but I can't remember what it was.

I better go google this out. My dad liked to tease me by making stuff up!
Old 05-14-2004, 10:50 AM
Charter Member
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Neon Desert
Posts: 692
How do I hang?

I'll need 30mg of Valium, a 5-foot drop, and the knot behind the left ear, if you please. No hood - I'd prefer to shock and dismay the witnesses as much as possible, thanks.

Old 05-14-2004, 01:49 PM
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: The bunghole of WA
Posts: 12,359
Quote:
Originally Posted by AHunter3
After a bit of experimentation I can report that I dress "up". Everything is way well above the seam that divides leg from leg, and symmetrically arranged.
Well technically, I dress "up" as well, because I prefer briefs that offer support and find dangling down the pant leg to be uncomfortable, but it still leans to the left.
__________________
"I am an endless barrel of exposition!

But yeah, I'm done."
(El Goonish Shive)
Old 05-14-2004, 01:50 PM
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 13,278
I hang to the left, but don't own any tailored pants.

So could someone please explain why a tailor would need to know the angle of my dangle? Is there some sort of casement involved?


Happy
Old 05-14-2004, 02:25 PM
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: N4754.694' W12205.773'
Posts: 1,138
OK, I'm left handed (I do everything with my left hand). I wear my watch on my left wrist (I hardly ever wear one though) and I dress left. My tailor(if I still had one) gives me more room on the left side.
__________________
My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. ~Penn Jillett
Old 05-14-2004, 04:23 PM
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 63
Many years ago, back in high school when anything and everything related to sex was starting to crop up in casual conversation, my buddies and I would occasionally greet each other not with, "How's it goin'?" or, "What's up?" but with, "Which way ya hangin'?" Back then, sometimes right but mostly left. Nowadays, pretty much always left.

Never been asked right-or-left by anyone in a professional capacity, though. Guess I need to get out more.

Can you imagine turning the tables? Walk into Old Navy and ask the clerk, "Excuse me, but where do I find the pants for dressing left?"
Old 05-14-2004, 04:36 PM
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Bluehairia
Posts: 4,207
Quote:
Originally Posted by Happy Lendervedder
I hang to the left, but don't own any tailored pants.

So could someone please explain why a tailor would need to know the angle of my dangle? Is there some sort of casement involved?


Happy
Just in case VenusProbe didn't make it clear, yes, a tailor will make that pantleg slightly roomier for comfort.
Old 05-14-2004, 05:00 PM
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 4,754
Now, you see, this wouldn't even be a concern if you all wore kilts.
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:58 AM.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: [email protected]

Send comments about this website to:

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Publishers - interested in subscribing to the Straight Dope?
Write to: [email protected].

Copyright 2017 Sun-Times Media, LLC.

Copyright © 2017
Best Topics: double colon meaning funny curses cane syrup substitute gaf viewmaster vietnamese orthography humane kill mouse nips slur acting nonchalant holocaust victims starving water softener slimy battleship gun 60 volts between hot and ground how to put a cat down humanely at home what animal eats the most gre chemistry subject test percentiles bay vs sea scallops can tasmanian devils be pets elliptical machine vs stationary bike how often should you wash sweaters best book binding glue why do i get ads in spanish how to make a digital tv antenna out of a satellite dish how to get the back off a watch