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Old 08-30-2004, 06:52 PM
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Help me accept it... (penis size)

Hi,

I'm 24, and only just recently measured my penis size. 14 cm or 5.5 inches. According to this site : http://free-condom-stuff.com/fcs...rage-size.html - this is small.

The last couple of days, every time I see other men I keep thinking "they're probaly bigger than me"... Last night I dreamt that I was in prison, and in the showers, I was laughed at by the other prisoners.

I do realise that I have enough to get the job done (my girlfriend never complained), but still I'm having a hard time respecting myself. It's on my mind constantly.

I looked into penis enlargments (surgery) but decided this is not an option (too dangerous etc). What should I do?

Thanks for your time.
Old 08-30-2004, 06:59 PM
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Have you tried pulling on it? Repeatedly? It won't make it any bigger, at least not in the long run, but it's a lot of fun.
Old 08-30-2004, 07:01 PM
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Giraffe, of course, is a trained medical professional with much practice in the field.
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Old 08-30-2004, 07:08 PM
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Could I get serious replies please?
Old 08-30-2004, 07:11 PM
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Oh, now, don't get all up in a tizzy. If your girlfriend doesn't complain, what's the problem? There might be a lot of guys that are bigger than you are; so what? As long as it's functioning and you're satisfying your girlfriend, you've got nothing to be ashamed of.
Old 08-30-2004, 07:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Timestamp
Hi,

I'm 24, and only just recently measured my penis size. 14 cm or 5.5 inches. According to this site : http://free-condom-stuff.com/fcs...rage-size.html - this is small.

The last couple of days, every time I see other men I keep thinking "they're probaly bigger than me"... Last night I dreamt that I was in prison, and in the showers, I was laughed at by the other prisoners.

I do realise that I have enough to get the job done (my girlfriend never complained), but still I'm having a hard time respecting myself. It's on my mind constantly.

I looked into penis enlargments (surgery) but decided this is not an option (too dangerous etc). What should I do?

Thanks for your time.
Two of the men from my past were small.

One was three inches... HARD.

Another was smaller around than my pinkie and not as long as the aforementioned finger.

I am average and those two made me feel like Long Dong Silver or BIG JIM SLADE.

If it works and provides you and your partner with pleasure, don't mess with a good thing. Bigger is not better.

Don't take the bullshit advertising to heart. Ignore the insecure men around you who trumpet their virility and size. You are not competing with anyone.
Old 08-30-2004, 07:15 PM
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I know, but I always hoped I was average... dealing with the fact that I'm below average is very hard for me.
It actually has nothing to do with my girlfriend. I know she's happy about me... but I'm not.
Old 08-30-2004, 07:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Timestamp
Could I get serious replies please?
To be honest, that would surprise me.

I think that the reasons that folks are not taking this seriously is that the subject has been done to death (although credit where due in that this thread is not about how huge you are). Couple that with the fact that used your very first post to start a thread on the subject and, well, the results are predictable (not to disparage low post counts, we all started at some point. Just pointing out that this is a road many of us have been down before and so we joke around).
Old 08-30-2004, 07:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Timestamp
Hi,

I'm 24, and only just recently measured my penis size. 14 cm or 5.5 inches. According to this site : http://free-condom-stuff.com/fcs...rage-size.html - this is small.

The last couple of days, every time I see other men I keep thinking "they're probaly bigger than me"... Last night I dreamt that I was in prison, and in the showers, I was laughed at by the other prisoners.

I do realise that I have enough to get the job done (my girlfriend never complained), but still I'm having a hard time respecting myself. It's on my mind constantly.

I looked into penis enlargments (surgery) but decided this is not an option (too dangerous etc). What should I do?

Thanks for your time.
Two of the men from my past were small.

One was three inches... HARD.

Another was smaller around than my pinkie and not as long as the aforementioned finger. HARD.

I am average and those two made me feel like Long Dong Silver or BIG JIM SLADE.

If it works and provides you and your partner with pleasure, don't mess with a good thing. Bigger is not better.

Don't take the bullshit advertising to heart. Ignore the insecure men around you who trumpet their virility and size. You are not competing with anyone.
Old 08-30-2004, 07:21 PM
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Five and half inches is not a laughable size, just a little bellow average. If your girth is decent that is much more important. But a good tongue technique is far better and learnable. I have seen exactly one errect pensis in real life, but as a naturist I have seen plenty of flacid ones and many are scarily small (and a few scarily large) in that state, so I doubt the range of 5.5 to 6.5 inches given in that web site of yours (though the one errect penis I have seen does come somewhere in tha range).
You could try muscle work that does not increase size, but improves ejeculation. When pissing learn to stop the flow through tightening penile muscles (you'll probably tighten your sphyncter at the same time) get to learn the feel for those penis muscles and work them regularly to tone up down bellow.
Old 08-30-2004, 07:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Timestamp
Could I get serious replies please?
Accepting everything in your OP at face value, you've already received a serious response from your sex partner (remember her? "my girlfriend never complained").

Honestly, if that's the case, what additional comfort do you need from a bunch of strangers on the Internet?

shrug
Old 08-30-2004, 07:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bippy the Beardless
You could try muscle work that does not increase size, but improves ejeculation. When pissing learn to stop the flow through tightening penile muscles (you'll probably tighten your sphyncter at the same time) get to learn the feel for those penis muscles and work them regularly to tone up down bellow.
Thanks, but I am already familiar with these exercises and I don't have any problems with ejaculating (I can hold on long enough etc).
Old 08-30-2004, 07:33 PM
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As long as it is functional, don't worry. There are plenty that are bigger and plenty that are smaller. Also, remember the ones who brag the most usually have the least, or don't know what to do with it.
Old 08-30-2004, 07:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moi
Accepting everything in your OP at face value, you've already received a serious response from your sex partner (remember her? "my girlfriend never complained").

Honestly, if that's the case, what additional comfort do you need from a bunch of strangers on the Internet?

shrug
Even though I believe her when she sais she likes it, she's still supposed to say that because she loves me...
Old 08-30-2004, 07:38 PM
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Read this.

Then get over it.
Old 08-30-2004, 07:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Timestamp
Could I get serious replies please?
What do you want? We don't have a magic wand we can wave that will make your penis any bigger. I can forward you some of the many emails I receive on a daily basis on exactly this subject, if you'd like.

The only opinions about your penis size that matter are yours and your girlfriend's, in that order. If you think it's too small in spite of your girlfriend's opinion, how do you expect us to change your mind?
Old 08-30-2004, 07:39 PM
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Well, BtB beat me to the punch a bit, but here's my advice:

- 14 cm isn't inadequate.
- Girth counts more than length.
- Most women don't want to be penetrated too deeply. It hurts.
- After the first two inches, sensitivity of the vagina drops off rapidly.
- Find the G-spot.
- Learn good oral stimulation techniques.

Remember all that, and you won't have any trouble pleasing your woman.

Most importantly, stop judging yourself by penis enlargement ads and what porn starlets are scripted to say. Their intent is to make you feel inadequate and perpetuate the myth that women like to be ravaged by equine-equipped barbarians. And remember, those guys in porn videos are all like 5'-2" which makes their appendages look much much bigger than they really are.
Old 08-30-2004, 07:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Timestamp
I know, but I always hoped I was average... dealing with the fact that I'm below average is very hard for me.
It actually has nothing to do with my girlfriend. I know she's happy about me... but I'm not.
If I took a little more time to think about it, I might have a little more compassion. But I'm in a bit of a hurry, so what you get is what you get.

You always hoped you were average? Does this apply to all segments of your life and your characteristics? Doesn't seem like a great thing to aim for, if you ask me.

So you've got a pee-wee wee-wee. And? How is anyone supposed to make you feel better about this? Especially after your girlfriend has given the thumbs up! "Aww, it's ok little fella. It may be small but it's awfully cute!" Really. What do you want?

Whatever are you going to do when you realize that there are other people that make more money than you; that are taller than you; that are better at Pinochle; that can type faster? Whatever will you do when you find out that you're somewhat less than average at math, or reading speed, or computer skills?

This is different? How? You haven't put enough effort into embiggening it? You want someone to make you accept it? Fine. You hereby and hereafter accept that your penis is slightly below "average" size. I must ask, though, what kind of average. Mean, probably. Which doesn't matter anyway. Are you below median? 'Cause guys like Long Dong and Mockingbird really skew the mean.

As an endnote, you wanna talk below average? All this is coming from a guy 5'5.5". That's right...5'5.5". Not even five-six. Then again, I don't have a pee-wee wee-wee, so I guess I'm not that bad off.
Old 08-30-2004, 07:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bughunter
- Most women don't want to be penetrated too deeply. It hurts.
- After the first two inches, sensitivity of the vagina drops off rapidly.
Ummm... upon rereading, these seem to be contradictory.

Deep penetration that contacts the cervix is what can be painful.
Old 08-30-2004, 07:46 PM
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As was stated above, breadth (thickness) is an important factor as well, and I'd say more important than length. Most of the nerve endings of the vagina are, IIRC, concentrated in the third closest to the vulva, so what good is having a longer penis then? (Except for smacking her in the cervix, ow! Yeah, it's real fun to have your ob-gyn ask why your cervix looks bruised, and then when you explain how it happened, she looks at you funny and asks if you're having "rough sex.")

Most women don't care about penis size. They care about having a lover who is willing to listen, to try new things.
Old 08-30-2004, 07:53 PM
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All of this is assuming the OP wasn't posted by a bridge-dweller. I sense the possibility.

You are not below average. Even if you were, it REALLY DOESN'T MATTER. I don't have the book for a cite (it's in storage) but in a sexuality class I took we were told average was anything from about four to six inches, and that's erect. Flaccid there's even more variation.

If you and your girlfriend are happy, don't worry. And don't get your anatomical information from a condom site.
Old 08-30-2004, 07:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Standup Karmic
You always hoped you were average? Does this apply to all segments of your life and your characteristics? Doesn't seem like a great thing to aim for, if you ask me.
I was not talking about other aspects of my life, because these are irrelevan here.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Standup Karmic
So you've got a pee-wee wee-wee. And? How is anyone supposed to make you feel better about this? Especially after your girlfriend has given the thumbs up! "Aww, it's ok little fella. It may be small but it's awfully cute!"
Thanks for making me feel a whole lot worse. If it wasn't for my child and girlfriend I'd jump out of the window. Guess I'll settle for drinking then.
Old 08-30-2004, 07:58 PM
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If you want a bigger dick all you have to do is use it more. I don't mean maturbation either. If that worked we'd all be nothing but a bunch of huge pricks.
Have sex often (at least everyday and for long durations) Stay inside that pussy as much and as long as possible. It'll get bigger in time. When I first noticed this I was in my late teens and was about your size. Now many years later and lots and lots of sex, esp in the last ten years or so. Size is not a factor anymore. If you don't use it..you lose.

Either way, I assure you there are lots of guys here that'd trade places with you. Any sex for some of these guys is worth giving up an inch of skin. Practice, technique, passion, and generosity...that's the ticket. Always make sure she gets hers first and often. Then rest assured, size won't matter to either of you.
Old 08-30-2004, 07:59 PM
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Okay, Timestamp, I think you just crossed over from a little too worried to nutjob.
Old 08-30-2004, 08:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Giraffe
The only opinions about your penis size that matter are yours and your girlfriend's, in that order.
Right, and my opinion is that it's too small.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Giraffe
If you think it's too small in spite of your girlfriend's opinion, how do you expect us to change your mind?
I don't know, by putting it in perspective. I'm in a crisis, and tought I'd post it. Talking about stuff generally doesn't do harm.
Old 08-30-2004, 08:00 PM
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One more thing, then I gotta bolt. If you should decide to take matters into your own hands {now now...that's enough snickering from the peanut gallery}, do not -- I repeat -- DO NOT inject it with an unknown substance.
Old 08-30-2004, 08:01 PM
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Originally Posted by JimSox5
Okay, Timestamp, I think you just crossed over from a little too worried to nutjob.
Or drunk.
Old 08-30-2004, 08:02 PM
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Half of the men in the world, approximately, are below average in length.

Chill.
Old 08-30-2004, 08:03 PM
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I'll give you a serious answer. Accept it. First off, you can't change it. Second off, I don't think 5.5" is anything to sneeze at, not that I'm the resident penis expert. I've had SOME *cough* experience in these matters, and that's a perfectly fine size to work with and be happy with. Honest. I'm not your girlfriend, so I have no motivation to lie.

Life isn't a porno, and the vast majority of women don't have the urge to be penetrated for hours by some huge dicked man. It's just not a fact, no matter what you've heard. Most women want a lover who pays attention to them, is eager to please, and has self confidence. You can have a 12" penis and never have a satisfied woman, and that's a fact.

So don't sweat it, and try not to let it shake your confidence. Focus on making both of you happy in bed and realize that not every woman is turned off by particular penis sizes, lack of hair, or anything else advertisers try to tell you is wrong. Just be you.
Old 08-30-2004, 08:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Timestamp
Right, and my opinion is that it's too small.

I don't know, by putting it in perspective. I'm in a crisis, and tought I'd post it. Talking about stuff generally doesn't do harm.
OK, one more, then I really gotta go.

Perspective:

* Your referenced website (which by the way, isn't yours, is it?) says in its irrefutable opinion that average is 5.877 inches. You say you are 5.5 inches. So you are threatening to jump out the window over 0.377 inches.

* From ten feet away, I'll bet nobody can tell the difference.
Old 08-30-2004, 08:09 PM
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Here's my serious answer.

If a five and one half inch penis is causing you such distraction in your life, then I ask you seek mental health advice.

If not, then learn to please your girlfriend without using it. Make it a non issue.
Old 08-30-2004, 08:11 PM
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no it's not my website (it might be a clever scheme though)... and the jumping-out-of-the-window-part was overreacted to make you feel bad (because you were trying to make me feel bad in the first place)... but that's only because I had quite a few drinks since the op.
Old 08-30-2004, 08:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Timestamp
Right, and my opinion is that it's too small.

I don't know, by putting it in perspective. I'm in a crisis, and tought I'd post it. Talking about stuff generally doesn't do harm.
Too small for what, exactly? Mainly, I expect you use it in conjunction with said girlfriend. Who has already expressed her pleasure or at the very least isn't offering up criticisms.

Anyway, I'm mostly sorry that you think that recognizing your penis size is slightly below average is a "crisis" or worth jumping out a window over. You're young. You're having sex. Both parties seem to be enjoying it. Accept that this makes you above the curve and call it even.
Old 08-30-2004, 08:19 PM
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I hear a tiny violin...



No, seriously. Yer just fine brother. Penis size is probably about 5% of good sex. So concentrate on the other 95%. Spoken as another "average" guy.


Cheers,

tdc
Old 08-30-2004, 08:21 PM
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It is really, really silly to obsess over anything over five inches. Especially if everybody seems pleased.

But if you want to look bigger, shave.

Also, if you're significantly overweight, losing weight may grant you a bit of length.

But neither of these things is your actual problem.
Old 08-30-2004, 08:22 PM
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ok maybe I should've given the whole story... I mentioned to my girlfriend a few days ago that I was insecure about my size and that I never measured it because I didn't wanna know... she said "yeah but I'm sure you're above avarege, you must be at least 16 cm long" which gave me confidence... then she actually challanged me to measure it... so we did... and she was wrong. and my confidence disappeared. and I wish I never listened to her.
she said for her nothing has changed, but I feel like I disappointed her, and myself. it may be hard to understand.

(sorry if my english is bad by the way, it's not my native language)
Old 08-30-2004, 08:24 PM
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2 cm?

I could lose 2cm and not notice!
Old 08-30-2004, 08:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Timestamp
Even though I believe her when she sais she likes it, she's still supposed to say that because she loves me...
Sounds like you have insecurity issues in more than one arena, my friend.

How many cliches do you want? It's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean? It's not the size of the trumpet, but the song it plays? Get over it. As long as it stays hard long enough to please your partner, what difference does it make?
Old 08-30-2004, 08:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ivylass
As long as it stays hard long enough to please your partner, what difference does it make?

Aw, damn.
Old 08-30-2004, 08:28 PM
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Your penis size, at this time, at this temperature, with the level of arousal that you had, is about a third of an inch less than the average as stated by ONE SITE. This is not going to be a perfect average - wouldn't guys insecure about their penis size be less likely to submit to measurement? Wouldn't they be less likely to be able to get erect? Plus, do you have any idea how small a third of an inch is? Look at it, seriously.

Talk to your girlfriend about it. FIND OUT if she's bothered by it or if, as is most likely, she DOESN'T CARE. If she does, there exist devices to add a bit of length to the penis during intercourse. Check your local internet sex toy shop.

As Zsofia said... the problem is NOT with your penis.
Old 08-30-2004, 08:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ivylass
Sounds like you have insecurity issues in more than one arena, my friend.
yes I'm very insecure, I'm aware of that (mind you, you wouldn't know when you were talking to me, I know how to hide it very well)
it might sound like i have relational problems as well, but I'm just insecure.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ivylass
How many cliches do you want? It's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean? It's not the size of the trumpet, but the song it plays? Get over it. As long as it stays hard long enough to please your partner, what difference does it make?
I don't want cliches, I don't want to accept that it's small, I want to believe that it's not. which might sound silly but I can't help it.

I know I'm not inadequate, I know how to make my grilfriend climax, I can tell she really loves sex with me (this might sound, erm, I don't know the right word, arrogant?)... but she's not the one that unhappy, I am. I'm probably just jealous, because the whole thing came up when one of her best friends who she's very close with (I do trust her 100% so that's not the problem) told her he had 16 cm... she reassured me that I was at least as big, but after measuring it turned out I wasn't.
Old 08-30-2004, 08:38 PM
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Originally Posted by elfbabe
Talk to your girlfriend about it. FIND OUT if she's bothered by it or if, as is most likely, she DOESN'T CARE.
we did talk about it a lot, and she doens't care. she liked me before we knew the size and she still likes me as much now we do know... she's really helpfull and understanding.
still, I can't help but be bothered by it. sigh.
Old 08-30-2004, 09:12 PM
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What aspect of your life be better if your penis was 0.377 inches longer? You wouldn't get to wear a sign that said "My penis is larger than average"--no one would know. No one (besides us Dopers) know that the one website you cited labels your penis as below average. Would you get paid more if your penis were 0.377 inches longer? Would you be smarter? Would you be a better conversationalist? Would you be able to read maps better? Why does it matter?

What could you do before that you can't do now? The answer: enjoy your existant sex life. That's the only acceptable answer. You have not changed as a result of "knowing" that your penis is below average. (Look at the sample size of that study--only 401 males. And they were all at a nightclub in Cancun. That doesn't account for regional differences. What if you are slightly below average in Cancun, but you had a monster schlong in Oslo? Also, do you think guys with very small penes would volunteer to have their wang exposed and measured? Methinks not so much, so the sample size might have an extreme proportion of large-dicked guys, not representative of the world population.)
Old 08-30-2004, 09:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Timestamp
she said "yeah but I'm sure you're above avarege, you must be at least 16 cm long" which gave me confidence... then she actually challanged me to measure it... so we did... and she was wrong. and my confidence disappeared. and I wish I never listened to her.
Dude, your girlfriend's objective assessment of your penis was that it's above average. That should tell you that it's a perfectly normal size. If it was tiny, she would never have mentioned it to you, nor would she have challenged you to get the ruler out.

Unless of course, she secretly hates you. But that doesn't sound likely.
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Old 08-30-2004, 11:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by t-keela
I assure you there are lots of guys here that'd trade places with you. Any sex for some of these guys is worth giving up an inch of skin.
Espescially me.
Old 08-30-2004, 11:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LaurAnge
Half of the men in the world, approximately, are below average in length.

Chill.
"Lake Wobegon, where the children are handsome, the women are strong, and all the men are above average."

DD
Old 08-31-2004, 12:06 AM
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Dude, this thread is making me so sad. Penis size doesn't matter, or it shouldn't. People who really care have bought into some porno "ideal" which isn't really even ideal, it's just a product of the stupid "bigger is better" meme which has given us, as Cecil put it, megavitamins and expansion baseball.

I'll get really personal here, and I almost never do this on SDMB, so be honored: I'm a gay man who likes smaller-than-huge dicks. Or I did, when I did such things. More than a mouthful's a waste, and all that. It's been explained to you how a female's sexual pleasure is not at all inhibited by a 5.5 inch dick. You're just insecure because you're "below" some average length which you feel you're supposed to compete with, or something, as if you competed with the color of your eyes. Your dick isn't your biceps, you know. It's an appendage, like your nose or your feet. You don't have any control over it, and neither does your gf -- who is happy by your own account.

In short, you need to get right over your -- I'll say it again, YOUR -- ideal of "big dick is good." It's a myth that's been marketed to us, and you've bought into it. It's false. Your dick is fine. Love it. Your girlfriend does.
Old 08-31-2004, 12:11 AM
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It's not the size of the tide - it's the motion of the ocean.

It's not the sword - it's the swordman.

The truth is out there if you care to see it, bald men get girls, guys with combovers, well, not so much, let's say. This always baffles the combovers, they never understand that what women are attracted to in a bald man is actually confidence and maturity.

Maturity to accept what they cannot change, get over it, realize they are more than their hairstyle. This is the same maturity that helps short guys score. Again the maturity to accept what you cannot change makes you a bigger man to the chicks no matter how height challenged you might be.

Recognize that you have created this uncomfortable situation for yourself. Your girl is happy, no one has ever laughed and pointed, your doctor isn't making suggestions. You've created this for yourself.

I mean if you're gonna get all bent about something why not the colour of your eyes, or your height. Get yourself all worked up about it, but at the end of the day you'll be in the same place with the same equipment. Accept it.

As my Mom used to say to us every day;

"If this is the worst thing that ever happens to you, count yourself as lucky !"
Old 08-31-2004, 12:17 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Seattle
Posts: 2,273
Quote:
Originally Posted by elbows
"If this is the worst thing that ever happens to you, count yourself as lucky !"
Seriously. There are guys with no dick, there are guys with silicone-injected Bagel Dog dicks, there are guys with horrible skin conditions all over their dick. You, on the other hand, are apparently hiding the sausage on a regular basis. Get over yourself!
Old 08-31-2004, 12:19 AM
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Texas
Posts: 15,010
Quote:
Originally Posted by Timestamp
I'm probably just jealous, because the whole thing came up when one of her best friends who she's very close with (I do trust her 100% so that's not the problem) told her he had 16 cm... she reassured me that I was at least as big, but after measuring it turned out I wasn't.
Have you considered the possibility that if you were, er, substantively longer, sex might hurt her? Have you further considered that, had you measured, say, 18 cm, you might think "Oh, my dick is so big I don't need to worry about using it properly to drive my girl wild"?

Oh, and she's choosing the guy with a shorter (not smaller) dick. Think 'bout that. What's keeping her from jumping ship onto a cruiser, hmm?

On the other hand, there's the driving notion that you aren't intensely bothered by this so much as you want us to talk you through being bothered ("Aww, there there, Timestamp, would it be any more tolerable if I flashed you/sent you cash/sucked up to you online for the next hour/gave you copious cyberhugs/etc."). For the next five pages or so. We are not a sex therapist: subscription rate would cover what, about five minutes of competent sex therapy?

My emphatically non-professional suggestion to you is to A) see a (possibly sex) therapist about this or B) realize that your girlfriend, who seems to be quite loving and honest with you, would probably have found a way BEFORE NOW to tell you if she wanted to try things other than penetrative sex. Like, say, romantic comedies or competitive sausage eating.

Are you (other than the "If I only had two more centimeters..." thoughts, and I'm sensing you care more about this than all other humans in existence) experiencing subpar sex? Is she? If the answer to both of these things is no, I respectfully submit that there are more important things in life. Pie, for one. I like pie.
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