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#1
Old 12-13-2004, 11:43 PM
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Feminine equivalent to "cuckold?"

A cuckold is a man whose wife has been unfaithful to him, symbolized (for reasons I do not fully understand) by the betrayed man wearing horns atop his head.

If there's a femal equivalent that exists, what's the word, and what's the symbol?
#2
Old 12-14-2004, 12:01 AM
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Alimony.
#3
Old 12-14-2004, 12:03 AM
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Closest I can think of is a "woman scorned". According to some sources, the term comes from the "cuckoo" bird, and the origin of the wearing horns symbolism is obscure.
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Old 12-14-2004, 12:03 AM
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I can help a bit with the questions you haven't actually asked. (Sorry.)

"Cuckold" comes from "cuckoo" after the birds' trick of laying their eggs in other birds' nests. ie; if you're raising another man's children, you've been cuckolded.

It is said that in Europe, cuckolded men were literally given horns. No one is certain of what it represented -- either an attempt to restore virility, or to show that he was angry.
#5
Old 12-14-2004, 03:46 AM
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Perhaps the word was never defined, because it was always OK for the man to be unfaithful.

According to this article:

http://oldandsold.com/articles10/marriage-4.shtml
#6
Old 12-14-2004, 08:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ccwaterback
Perhaps the word was never defined, because it was always OK for the man to be unfaithful.

According to this article:

http://oldandsold.com/articles10/marriage-4.shtml
It wasn't "always OK". However, many did have the attitude of "boys will be boys". And men years ago didn't think it proper to speculate about the sexual liasons of other men. (The change was unfortunate for the Clinton's.) Thus so long as the man was discreet about it, and he cared for his wife and family, she wouldn't be seen as a feminine "cuckold".
#7
Old 12-14-2004, 11:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Mudd
I can help a bit with the questions you haven't actually asked. (Sorry.)

"Cuckold" comes from "cuckoo" after the birds' trick of laying their eggs in other birds' nests. ie; if you're raising another man's children, you've been cuckolded.

It is said that in Europe, cuckolded men were literally given horns. No one is certain of what it represented -- either an attempt to restore virility, or to show that he was angry.
I kept focussing on "cuckold" being somehow related to cock and the sexual act and not the logical result (raising someone else's kid) so for the very first time I get the term, Larry. It also explains why a woman can't be a cuckold -- unlike a man, if her husband sleeps around, she isn't very well going to be unwittingly raising another woman's child as her own.
#8
Old 12-14-2004, 11:49 PM
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I've always assumed that the symbolism of the cuckold's horns is that he's still got an erection (is horny!) because his wife won't sleep with him, since she's been satisfied elsewhere.
#9
Old 12-14-2004, 11:54 PM
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It's not that it was considered any less morally wrong for a married man to have sex with someone other than his wife than for a married woman to have sex with someone other than her husband, it's that morality *in the sense we think of it* wasn't relevant to this entire situation. A man was considered to own his wife. If someone else had sex with his wife, the other man had stolen something from the husband. On the other hand, if a married man had sex with someone other than his wife, nothing had been stolen from the wife, since she didn't own the husband. The only person who could complain about this was a man with some relation to the woman that the husband had had sex with. If she was married, it was her husband. If she was single, it was her father or her brothers.

Of course, a man or a woman could complain that his wife or her husband was cheating on him or her, but that was merely a private sin and not relevant to cuckolding. Cuckolding was a property crime, in effect. The idea of cuckolding only makes sense in a society in which a husband is considered to own a wife. In a situation like ours where a marriage is, in effect, a business merger, it makes sense that either spouse having sex outside of marriage is considered to be "cheating."
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Old 12-14-2004, 11:57 PM
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One reason why there is no female equivalent to cuckold is the sense of "honor offended" that cuckold implies. A man who has been cuckolded has been made a fool; a woman who has been cheated upon is simply a victim.

The man is supposed to be able to ward off any assaults on his "honor" (both by demonstrating enough "virility" that his wife would not wish to cheat on him and by being enough of a threat that no other man would dare tresspass on "his turf"). A woman may occasionally be accused of not providing enough "satisfaction" to keep "her man" at home, but men have been given more latitude to wander, so the woman is not generally considered a failure if her husband does wander.
#11
Old 04-04-2005, 07:31 PM
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I think the lack of a female term has a lot to do with paternity and less to do with, "it was okay to do it because women were property back in the bad old days."

A man who has been 'cuckolded' [is that a verb?] would be put in the position of raising another man's child unknowingly. This is in keeping with the root of the word, assuming it's correct, as coming from the cuckoo.

Quote:
"Cuckold" comes from "cuckoo" after the birds' trick of laying their eggs in other birds' nests. ie; if you're raising another man's children, you've been cuckolded.
The female equivalent just doesn't work very well since she's going to know for damn sure if the kid isn't hers.
#12
Old 04-04-2005, 10:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Askia
A cuckold is a man whose wife has been unfaithful to him, symbolized (for reasons I do not fully understand) by the betrayed man wearing horns atop his head.

If there's a female equivalent that exists, what's the word, and what's the symbol?
Thought exercise: what's the male equivalent of "pregnant?"
#13
Old 04-05-2005, 12:05 AM
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There's a word for everything!

Cuckquean a female cuckold, first cite 1560, obsolete.


From the Oxford English Dictionary.
#14
Old 04-05-2005, 02:06 AM
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Dammit, you beat me to it! Completely at random I came across a very obscene Ben Jonson poem today that included that word.
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Old 04-05-2005, 05:48 AM
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Now I'm intrigued. The first risqué poem of Jonson's that sprang to mind was the Famous Voyage but no sign of the word there.

I can't recall where exactly I first came across cuckquean but I've got a feeling it was in one of the early Elizabethan dramatists, Greene, perhaps, or Lyly.

Whatever, it's a great word.
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Old 04-05-2005, 12:03 PM
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On Sir Voluptuous Beast
#17
Old 04-05-2005, 02:59 PM
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I thought the horns of a cuckold referred to satyrs, or some other mythological beast.
#18
Old 04-06-2005, 08:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scarface Z
I thought the horns of a cuckold referred to satyrs, or some other mythological beast.
But satyrs were the ones doing the screwing, not the ones abandoned for other men.
#19
Old 04-06-2005, 09:09 AM
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Whatever the word turns out to be, it can be used to describe the feeling you have, as a woman, when you've found out that your husband has been hanging up kitchen cabinets and installed wall to wall carpeting in the house of your female rival.
#20
Old 11-11-2015, 10:35 PM
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The Feminie Equivalent to "Cuckold"

Cuckquean is a gender opposite term of cuckold derived from Middle English (1562 CE).

Cuckquean refers to a woman with an adulterous husband. In modern English it generally refers to the sexual fetish in which sexual gratification is gained from maintenance or observation of sexual relations by a man with a woman or a number of women besides his girlfriend, fiancé, wife or other long-term female sex partner, and therefore, the reversed gender roles of a cuckold relationship.[
#21
Old 11-11-2015, 11:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rich Lang View Post
Cuckquean is a gender opposite term of cuckold derived from Middle English (1562 CE).

Cuckquean refers to a woman with an adulterous husband. In modern English it generally refers to the sexual fetish in which sexual gratification is gained from maintenance or observation of sexual relations by a man with a woman or a number of women besides his girlfriend, fiancé, wife or other long-term female sex partner, and therefore, the reversed gender roles of a cuckold relationship.[
Welcome to the Dope.

Answered 10 years ago. By aldiboronti

Maastricht that was.....oddly specific.
#22
Old 11-12-2015, 03:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ccwaterback View Post
Perhaps the word was never defined, because it was always OK for the man to be unfaithful.
And still is, in some places.

Here in Minnesota, statute 609.36 ADULTERY says "When a married woman has sexual intercourse with a man other than her husband, whether married or not, both are guilty of adultery and may be sentenced ..."

Nothing whatsoever about a married man with a woman other than his wife.

(Also appears that same-sex couples can't commit adultery in Minnesota (but bisexuals can)).
#23
Old 11-12-2015, 06:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Askia View Post
I kept focussing on "cuckold" being somehow related to cock and the sexual act and not the logical result (raising someone else's kid) so for the very first time I get the term, Larry. It also explains why a woman can't be a cuckold -- unlike a man, if her husband sleeps around, she isn't very well going to be unwittingly raising another woman's child as her own.
Not unwittingly since it's pretty evident that kid didn't come out of you, but raising the child your husband had from a mistress has been known to happen and I don't only mean in royal families.

This is a case I've known in person, I've also heard of families in different Latin American locations and in Spain doing it more or less openly. Some would call the sudden extra child a foundling, some didn't bother.

Last edited by Nava; 11-12-2015 at 06:14 AM.
#24
Old 11-12-2015, 09:35 AM
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^^You might already know this, but you're about 8 years too late for him to read this response.
#25
Old 11-12-2015, 03:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by [email protected] View Post
And still is, in some places.

Here in Minnesota, statute 609.36 ADULTERY says "When a married woman has sexual intercourse with a man other than her husband, whether married or not, both are guilty of adultery and may be sentenced ..."

Nothing whatsoever about a married man with a woman other than his wife.

(Also appears that same-sex couples can't commit adultery in Minnesota (but bisexuals can)).
I think that law would be unenforceable as it is unconstitutional, being sex discriminate.
#26
Old 11-12-2015, 03:38 PM
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Content is the woman who rocks her child
And rocks her child alone
For many a man rocks another man's child
When he thinks he's rocking his own.

Unknown (at least by me, anyway)

Last edited by Doctor Jackson; 11-12-2015 at 03:39 PM.
#27
Old 11-12-2015, 03:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aldiboronti View Post
There's a word for everything!

Cuckquean a female cuckold, first cite 1560, obsolete.


From the Oxford English Dictionary.
There is a particular brand of "cuckquean" Tumblr blogs (NSFW) nowadays, OED might think about removing "obsolete" from the entry next time. Not sure how many of those blogs are actually written/created by women though.

Last edited by fiddlesticks; 11-12-2015 at 03:54 PM.
#28
Old 11-12-2015, 04:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Doctor Jackson View Post
Content is the woman who rocks her child
And rocks her child alone
For many a man rocks another man's child
When he thinks he's rocking his own.

Unknown (at least by me, anyway)
When I worked in a western store (back in the 1970's) we had a customer come in, who paid cash for an engraved wood plaque, and paid extra for us to gift wrap it and mail it (unsigned) to a Judge at the County Courthouse.

The plaque read:
"There ain't no Justice in this here land
The Judge gave a divorce to my ol' man.
But I sure laughed at his decision
He gave him the kids, an they ain't his'n."
#29
Old 11-12-2015, 07:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Maastricht View Post
Whatever the word turns out to be, it can be used to describe the feeling you have, as a woman, when you've found out that your husband has been hanging up kitchen cabinets and installed wall to wall carpeting in the house of your female rival.
Maastricht: Can't resist a bad joke here.
SPOILER:
Maybe he wanted to make sure the curtains match the rug.

but as far as that feeling goes, I think it's captured best by Marianne Faithfull. "Why'd Ya Do It?"

Worth listening to the song on YouTube.
My favorite line: "Why'd ya do it, she said, why'd ya do what you did,
Betray my little oyster for such a low bitch."
#30
Old 11-12-2015, 08:50 PM
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Per Dan Savage, it's "cuckqueen". A little googling verifies this.
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