Thread Tools
Old 08-19-2005, 01:13 PM
BANNED
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: California
Posts: 5,891
People who cry when they are really angry

When I was younger, if I was really angry, I would cry uncontrollably. I don't know why. Similarly, my girlfriend also cries when she is mad enough at me.

Why is this?

Also, it seems like some people can supress crying in general, while others can't. My dad never cried a day in his life, even when his father died (my grandmother called him "the quiet one") but as a kid I would cry uncontrollably about any little thing. As an adult, there are less things that 'trigger' crying, but to this day I can't supress it.
Old 08-19-2005, 01:19 PM
Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,282
I can cry over just about anything. (When I'm sad, when I'm happy, when I'm stressed ... it's a good tension reliever, for some reason, though I try not to do it in public, of course.) But if I'm crying because I'm angry--you definitely want to get out of my way. I don't get angry often, but you can tell I've passed "pissed off" when my eyes start to look greenish*, and if I start to cry--back away slowly and you might not get hurt.

I think I do it because it's so damned difficult to make me that mad, by the time i get there I'm also highly frustrated--and frustration makes me cry faster than the ending of Moulin Rouge.

*"You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."
Old 08-19-2005, 01:21 PM
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: New York, New York
Posts: 1,051
Agreed with Draelin. Just about any heightened emotional experience will make me teary, being angry especially so. I think it's when I've reached my emotional tolerance limit, that I just release through tears.
Old 08-19-2005, 01:24 PM
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Over by dere
Posts: 27,023
I'm definitely in the "Cries when angry" column. But I'm pretty good at crying over sad stuff, too. I think it's due to frustration more than anything.
Old 08-19-2005, 04:24 PM
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Arizona
Posts: 328
Yeah, I tend to cry during arguments/fighting, too. It's not so much the anger that seems to make me cry, but frustration. I cry the worst when I just can't seem to get my point across, and I rarely cry if I feel the other person is listening to me.
Old 08-19-2005, 05:30 PM
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 8,299
Baby Jeebus must be pissed with me.
Old 08-19-2005, 05:42 PM
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Sleeping Seattleite
Posts: 5,007
I cry when angry, happy, sad. I try very hard not to, but it's tough. If someone sees me about to cry and starts acting nice to me, it tips me over the edge. They usually act alarmed and put their arms around me and say "it's okay! It's okay!" and I'm blubbering too hard to tell them, "I'm fine! I'm crying because you are being so nice to me when you don't have to! If you'd left me alone I wouldn't be crying now!" But of course, that would sound ungrateful, so I usually end up letting them "comfort" me, even though they are making it worse.

My mother called me a while back, to tell me that my little brother had been in a car accident - he'd hit a moose - but that everyone was okay, he just got a couple bumps and bruises, his friend only got one tiny scratch. I was so happy to hear that, and after I'd hung up the phone, I just breathed a deep, deep sigh of relief. And suddenly, uncontrollably - I cried my eyes out. So I seem to cry from deep relief, too.
Old 08-19-2005, 06:20 PM
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 626
I don't cry often. It's not a good thing - sometimes you just need that emotional release, and if you can't cry, it's not there.

My grandfather died two months ago rather unexpectadly. I was devastated. I'm still devastated. It feels like there's a huge hole in my heart. But I haven't cried about it yet. I didn't cry the last time I saw him, when I knew his death was hours away. I didn't cry when I got the call that he'd passed. I didn't cry at the funeral. I hated how it made me look - I just wanted to scream "I care! I am upset!". I did a speech at the reception that took every ounce of emotional control to get every word out - but I didn't tear up once.

I sometimes wish I cried at the drop of a hat.

Back to the crying-while-angry, isn't that why they think small children cry so often? Simple frustration at not being able to get their point across? I remember hearing that somewhere.
Old 08-19-2005, 06:48 PM
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Sweet Home Chicago
Posts: 33,496
Quote:
Originally Posted by Draelin
frustration makes me cry faster than the ending of Moulin Rouge.
I don't know what you're talking about. All 32 chapters are wonderful and it's a very spectacularly happy ending with cheers and applause for all at Zidler knocks out the bad guy!

As for the OP, I think it's a hormone thing. Stress hormones which need to be released. There are stress hormones in tears, so maybe this is the body's way of getting them out.
Old 08-19-2005, 06:57 PM
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Funkytown
Posts: 4,395
Oh god, I thought I was the only one. I don't even have to be really angry, just kind of mad. Then I get mad at myself for crying, then I really start crying.
Old 08-19-2005, 07:26 PM
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Suburbs of Chicagoland
Posts: 22,337
I cry when I'm frustrated. I've cried when trying to tell my neurologist about my migraines because they frustrate me so much, and just talking about them dredges up that feeling. I've cried at work when bitching about a boss who was doing a great impression of bipolar disorder when interacting with us. I don't mean to, and certainly don't want to, and I think the feeling of the welling tears makes me even more frustrated, which just fuels the whole thing.
Old 08-19-2005, 08:18 PM
Charter Member
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: 21 20' N 157 55' W
Posts: 6,519
Loss of control =
Old 08-19-2005, 10:09 PM
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 2,112
As a kid I used to cry whenever I got into a fist-fight. I'd get so angry and frustrated that I'd see red and the tears would just flow. This of course led to teasing by the other children. Which logically led to more fighting. Which led to... ah, you see where this is going.

Now that I'm older, I can control that spectrum of emotions much better, but seemingly in compensation, I will, in rare instances, get weepy over sappy commercials or movies or even just a beautiful day.
Old 08-19-2005, 10:10 PM
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: You'veneverheardofit, PA
Posts: 838
I am such an easy crier... it's gotten better in the past several years, but I still cry at the drop of a hat. And it is mostly when I'm pissed -- I think the others who said it's frustration are right. I work in a call center, and whenever I get a bitchy customer who refuses to listen to anything I tell them or who makes me mad, I end up having to take a break after the call to squelch tears (it doesn't always work -- I'm very lucky I have an understanding supervisor and mostly-satisfied customers).

It's very hard to make an effective argument when you're sobbing.
Old 08-19-2005, 10:25 PM
Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,282
Quote:
Originally Posted by WhyNot
I don't know what you're talking about. All 32 chapters are wonderful and it's a very spectacularly happy ending with cheers and applause for all at Zidler knocks out the bad guy!
Ah, yes--curtain closes, the end. That's how I usually watch it, too. For future reference, if you're watching Finding Neverland, just shut it off after the play in the living room and make up your own ending.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AntaresJB
I work in a call center, and whenever I get a bitchy customer who refuses to listen to anything I tell them or who makes me mad, I end up having to take a break after the call to squelch tears
I've had a very stressful few weeks, and at least six more stressful weeks ahead. I ended up crying at work every day for a week. Not because customers were yelling at me, just because I was so frustrated I didn't know where to turn.

Thank Og for Xanax. *sigh*
Old 08-19-2005, 11:35 PM
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 9,925
When I get frustrated--not angry, that leaves me feeling cold and hard and pretty bitter--I find myself swallowing a lump and blinking a lot. Couldn't explain to you why if I tried with two hands.
Old 08-20-2005, 12:54 AM
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: inside John Fowles' head
Posts: 677
Yes, when I get really angry then I tend to cry. The thing is, if I am sad or upset I don't tear up nearly as much. So if people try to comfort me when I cry I find it really irritating - I'm not feeling fragile, damn it, I really am f*&king furious. So at funerals I might have a tear or two run down my cheeks, but if I am very frustrated or angry about something, I sob. This in turn makes it more frustrating as people tend to interpret tears as a sign of weakness or emotional fragility - whereas I meanwhile would like to knee them in the groin. Crying also prevents me from articulating what I want to say - which just frustrates me more, and so on. And I have quite a temper....
Old 08-20-2005, 08:13 AM
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 1,527
I cry all the damn time, for all sorts of reasons. I hate it. And I get all blotchy and red when I cry, so it's really obvious for a while.

My grandmother died a year ago, and at the funeral I was the one crying the most--and I didn't even like her. I was so embarrassed that I couldn't even keep it to normal crying when all these people who liked her more than I did could.
Old 08-20-2005, 10:47 AM
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: a farm in Ohio
Posts: 1,356
I'm an easy crier. Bride dances with dad at wedding? I cry. Toys for Tots commercial on TV? I cry. I'm at a funeral for a cousin I met maybe twice in my life? I cry. I'm angry? I cry. I'm also a sympathy crier. No one cries alone in my presence, as Dolly said in Steel Magnolias (during which I sobbed pathetically, of course). I really hate this; it makes me feel stupid and weak. It is comforting, though, to know that others suffer the same ailment.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AntaresJB
It's very hard to make an effective argument when you're sobbing.
This irritates me more than anything. I had a psychotic boss at my last full time job, and I cried every time I had to confront her about anything, which was fairly often, since she would bully others I was responsible for, and I just can't put up with that crap. Worse, she was emotionless, so she would sit there like an Easter Island giant while I tried to articulate with tears running down my face. I'm so glad I don't have to put up with her any more.

Mr. Stuff has adjusted to this oddity of mine, and when I'm upset, he waits quietly for fairly long periods of time between sentences while I take deep calming breaths and try not to sob as if my dog has just been run over before my very eyes. I love him for many reasons, but his patience might just top the list.

An upside, I guess, is that if anyone ever needs a Kleenex, I have one.
Old 04-12-2017, 10:32 PM
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 1
i agree with draelin that happes to me alot

Quote:
Originally Posted by Draelin View Post
I can cry over just about anything. (When I'm sad, when I'm happy, when I'm stressed ... it's a good tension reliever, for some reason, though I try not to do it in public, of course.) But if I'm crying because I'm angry--you definitely want to get out of my way. I don't get angry often, but you can tell I've passed "pissed off" when my eyes start to look greenish*, and if I start to cry--back away slowly and you might not get hurt.

I think I do it because it's so damned difficult to make me that mad, by the time i get there I'm also highly frustrated--and frustration makes me cry faster than the ending of Moulin Rouge.

*"You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."
that pretty much sums up my angry side
Old 04-12-2017, 10:47 PM
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: In my head
Posts: 12,080
I am the complete opposite. When I am really near tears, it comes out as anger. I think I understand the reasons for this but that's a different discussion.
Old 04-12-2017, 11:18 PM
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Sacramento, CA
Posts: 7,582
This is very interesting to read. I have always wondered about people who cried when they were mad. I mean if you're having a fight with your SO, you might cry, but then I assume it's because you're sad that you and your SO are fighting. People who cry because they are mad at like, a coworker, I don't really understand that. I guess I just assumed these people got their feelings hurt really easier. I mean, I didn't judge them for it, it just always confused me.
Old 04-12-2017, 11:26 PM
Charter Member
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: NW Indiana
Posts: 25,740
I view crying like vomiting - you don't want to do it, it's unpleasant and ugly while you're doing it, but afterwards, having gotten the nasty out, you often feel better fro it.
Old 04-13-2017, 12:50 AM
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Japan
Posts: 985
I sometimes cry when I feel overwhelmed by frustration, more than anger.

I dont cry when I realize Im responding to a 12-year-old zombie* from a banned poster, but it does sting my eyes a little.


*Pre-teen zombies are just the worst.
Old 04-13-2017, 01:08 AM
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: In my head
Posts: 12,080
Quote:
Originally Posted by Broomstick View Post
I view crying like vomiting - you don't want to do it, it's unpleasant and ugly while you're doing it, but afterwards, having gotten the nasty out, you often feel better fro it.
I agree with this in general. But if Im being honest the actual act of crying is not always unpleasant unlike the act of vomiting. Sometimes, in certain circumstances the act of crying itself is a sort of self-soothing mechanism that occurs, in-part, as a way of expressing your feelings externally. Which can have the result of less feeling of isolation, support from others who wouldnt have been able to relate without the strong emotional empathy they feel to the sight of another person crying.
Old 04-13-2017, 05:47 AM
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: beautiful Idaho
Posts: 2,094
I cry for no reason at all.
Old 04-13-2017, 07:11 AM
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Torrance Ca
Posts: 7,226
I became more sensitive after my divorce at age 40. Songs and movies will often move me to silent tears.
Old 04-13-2017, 08:43 AM
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2000
Posts: 15,995
Boys don't cry.
Old 04-13-2017, 09:07 AM
Member
Join Date: Jul 1999
Posts: 10,249
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambivalid View Post
I agree with this in general. But if Im being honest the actual act of crying is not always unpleasant unlike the act of vomiting. Sometimes, in certain circumstances the act of crying itself is a sort of self-soothing mechanism that occurs, in-part, as a way of expressing your feelings externally. Which can have the result of less feeling of isolation, support from others who wouldnt have been able to relate without the strong emotional empathy they feel to the sight of another person crying.
On the other hand, there are not a few people who react to crying in others with anger: it makes my husband mad to see me cry, and he's normally a pretty sympathetic person. This is unfortunate because I cry very, very rarely--never when I'm angry, only when I'm overwhelmed with shame or grief or fear--and that only happens once every few years. I've noticed it with our son, too: temper-tantrum tears either move me with sympathy or amuse me to the point that I have to leave the room to laugh. My husband gets mad. Sp tears don't always inspire sympathy in others.
Old 04-13-2017, 09:39 AM
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Chicago
Posts: 3,561
Yes, I cry when I'm angry, and I hate, hate, HATE it!! I always feel like people won't take my anger seriously when I cry. They'll feel pity or discomfort rather than the boot shaking terror that I would prefer they feel.

It could be worse. I could be a guy. Then people would just laugh at me.
Old 04-13-2017, 01:19 PM
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 210
Quote:
Originally Posted by Manda JO View Post
On the other hand, there are not a few people who react to crying in others with anger: it makes my husband mad to see me cry, and he's normally a pretty sympathetic person. This is unfortunate because I cry very, very rarely--never when I'm angry, only when I'm overwhelmed with shame or grief or fear--and that only happens once every few years. I've noticed it with our son, too: temper-tantrum tears either move me with sympathy or amuse me to the point that I have to leave the room to laugh. My husband gets mad. Sp tears don't always inspire sympathy in others.

I get your husband's point of view. If my wife starts to cry during an argument, I get mad and feel like she's "cheating at the argument" and not expressing a rational point of view that is debateable on its own merits. I can't recall any situation in which I was the one being a tool and she started to cry, but several in which she was in the wrong and then brought out the tears. It feels like a distraction strategy and aggravates me further.

To the original poster - As a younger person, I used to become so frustrated with my father that I would cry during arguments. It made me so mad (at myself) and in turn madder at him. We had a difficult relationship during my youth that I've written about on here before. My last outburst was when I was around 18. It was over a trivial matter and it embarrasses me to think about it, even now. It is the opposite of my wife and I fighting though - I was usually in the right, my father stubborn and intractable and me frustrated to tears.

As an older person, I'm considered very stoic. I think I've cried 4 or 5 times in the past 25 years. (I'm 45 now). Even that has changed though.

Nowadays, 30 years downstream of any abuse from my father, I have a good relationship with him. My mother is now ill in the early stages of a terminal cancer, and he has been unwavering in his support and care for her. She's had to give up all her activities except ballroom dancing with him, and I can barely get through watching them dance to a song together. It feels like the tears will spray out of my face and it takes all of my self control to not let it happen. The emotions are so strong that I feel like they're ambushing me. I'm not ashamed at all and I love my parents. I just know that my mom would know why I was crying and in turn feel guilt over it in her own mom way. Honestly, my eyes got a little shiny just writing this paragraph.

Thinking about and writing all of this brings me to the full circle of concluding that I need to be more forgiving/less frustrated by my wife if she cries during an argument. We can't pick and choose our emotions or when we'll feel them, and understanding that this is also true of others can go a long way.

PS

I feel compelled to put the footnote here of saying that my wife and I very seldom fight.
Old 04-13-2017, 02:57 PM
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Lurking nearby...
Posts: 6,447
Quote:
Originally Posted by Incubus View Post
When I was younger, if I was really angry, I would cry uncontrollably. I don't know why. Similarly, my girlfriend also cries when she is mad enough at me.

Why is this?
Tears are stress-reducing.

It's common enough - If you see tears streaming down my face, and no obvious reason for great sorrow, you may wish to remove yourself elsewhere. That's an indication of me having extreme, ready-to-berserk, rage.
Old 04-13-2017, 06:20 PM
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: In my head
Posts: 12,080
Quote:
Originally Posted by Manda JO View Post
On the other hand, there are not a few people who react to crying in others with anger: it makes my husband mad to see me cry, and he's normally a pretty sympathetic person. This is unfortunate because I cry very, very rarely--never when I'm angry, only when I'm overwhelmed with shame or grief or fear--and that only happens once every few years. I've noticed it with our son, too: temper-tantrum tears either move me with sympathy or amuse me to the point that I have to leave the room to laugh. My husband gets mad. Sp tears don't always inspire sympathy in others.
Of course. I was speaking generally of course. There will always be exceptions and deviations.
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:49 AM.

Copyright © 2017
Best Topics: gumba definition sister boards hydrofluoric acid accident alcohol and electrolytes game vs sport marnie thanksgiving letter storing leftover pizza deontological vs utilitarian bored with porn varsity tutors reddit drunk on listerine spain white gallbladder message boards cheap adderal cooking heroin xtend optionsxpress smarmy def dna in feces what is 138 guard cat breeds vr signature banished crash glasses on head wicked little critta iphone ping waterworld dry land toilet tank replacement johnson slang pregnant fuck density of cocaine floating bathing suit eyebuydirect returns 100 years in a century bad bed head hair what if alexander hamilton had been president what is parcel select ground how high can a gorilla jump is laser hair removal safe on testicles the wiz and the wizard of oz comparison enterprise rental car unlimited mileage oregano what the hell mike huckabee kevin spacey do raccoons like catnip poorly written newspaper articles weather channel torcon forecast speed of light 2.99 how to build a lake why is a hamburger called a hamburger what does gloria in excelsis deo mean substitutes for laundry detergent he and i or him and i can i use spaghetti sauce for pizza sauce purchased a vehicle without title i bid you good day is there drano for toilets how to get free concert tickets and backstage passes how to get a small stripped screw out bad gas in lawnmower san diego cell phone lot why does weed smell like skunk how far is a fathom nibbled to death by ducks breaking a cast iron tub thanks and have a great day