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Old 09-07-2005, 02:54 PM
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Why does Tarzan wear a loincloth?

What gives? Why would the apes make one for him if they didn't wear 'em themselves?
Old 09-07-2005, 02:58 PM
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A) He is afraid he can't match monkey dick.
b) He is Jewish and doesn't want anyone to know.
Old 09-07-2005, 02:59 PM
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Because, even for an almost-Victorian era fantasy with nearly nude people, some decorum must be preserved.





IIRC, in the books Tarzan doesn't start wearing a loincloth until he';s older and sees other human beings wearing stuff around their middles.
Old 09-07-2005, 03:08 PM
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With all that vine-swinging I don't reckon you have to fly through too many bushes before you realize that certain non-retractable elements are more prone to snags than others. It would be an invention of necessity in fairly short order.
Old 09-07-2005, 03:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shagnasty
b) He is Jewish and doesn't want anyone to know.
Anyone see the movie "Europa Europa"? ::shudder::
Old 09-07-2005, 03:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Winston Smith
Anyone see the movie "Europa Europa"? ::shudder::
That was based on a true story.
Old 09-07-2005, 03:23 PM
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He don't want cheetah swinging on that vine?
Old 09-07-2005, 06:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Inigo Montoya
With all that vine-swinging I don't reckon you have to fly through too many bushes before you realize that certain non-retractable elements are more prone to snags than others. It would be an invention of necessity in fairly short order.
If anyone needs me, I'll be in the corner, in the fetal position.
Old 09-07-2005, 06:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shagnasty
A) He is afraid he can't match monkey dick.
Actually, more likely, he didn't want to make the monkeys insecure . (Wise move, there's nothing more dangerous than a sexually humiliated chimp. Er...or so I'm told!)

I would think it was for the same reason humans did to begin with; the combination of walkng upright and being the best hung primate makes it rather...vunerable. So, yes, probably a good idea to tie that thing down (quite apart for Victorian sensibilites).
Old 09-07-2005, 06:40 PM
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He started wearing a loincloth out of shame after Jane laughed at his penis for not being prehensile.
Old 09-07-2005, 06:58 PM
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Going back to the original source, Tarzan of the Apes by Edgar Rice Burroughs, published in 1914, we find the answer.

(at least I hope we do, I'm doing this from memory.) Tarzan learned to read by studying the picture books left behind in the cabin of his parents. In those books, pictures displayed men being clothed, and apes being naked. Tarzan also noted that the natives in his vicinity were also clothed. So when he decided to make a point of being a man, not an ape, he adopted a loincloth.

Had there been a tailor there from Savile Row, perhaps he would have adopted a more elaborate outfit.
Old 09-07-2005, 07:17 PM
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Because, even for an almost-Victorian era fantasy with nearly nude people, some decorum must be preserved.
I don't think that was it... In the Barsoom novels, also by Burroughs, all men wear is enough of a harness to hang a sword from, and women just enough to accessorize their womanly bits. Clearly he was no prude about nudity.
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Old 09-07-2005, 07:23 PM
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Me Czarcasm.
You thread in wrong forum.
Me move thread to Cafe Society.




Jane look damn sweet in loincloth, woo hoo!
Old 09-07-2005, 07:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Inigo Montoya
With all that vine-swinging I don't reckon you have to fly through too many bushes before you realize that certain non-retractable elements are more prone to snags than others. It would be an invention of necessity in fairly short order.
Yes, but the loincloth just hung in front of Tarzan's crotch. It didn't contain his package as would a jockstrap.
Old 09-07-2005, 07:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chronos
I don't think that was it... In the Barsoom novels, also by Burroughs, all men wear is enough of a harness to hang a sword from, and women just enough to accessorize their womanly bits. Clearly he was no prude about nudity.
What is the difference between bosoms and BARSOOMS!
Old 09-07-2005, 08:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Muffin
What is the difference between bosoms and BARSOOMS!
A pitcher of cheap beer?
Old 09-07-2005, 08:47 PM
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Yep, I also read Bar rooms insead of Barsooms. But I've go a problem.
Old 09-07-2005, 08:50 PM
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Originally Posted by Jake
Yep, I also read Bar rooms insead of Barsooms. But I've go a problem.
I see you've started early. No prob-next one's on me.
Old 09-07-2005, 10:45 PM
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Quote:
Quote:
Because, even for an almost-Victorian era fantasy with nearly nude people, some decorum must be preserved.
I don't think that was it... In the Barsoom novels, also by Burroughs, all men wear is enough of a harness to hang a sword from, and women just enough to accessorize their womanly bits. Clearly he was no prude about nudity.
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I don't think so -- Even when only festooned with jewels, the women have their womanly bits covered. That's the wa it is in Burroughs' own sketches and those he approved (that I've seen), and certainly in just about all depictions I've seen (until very recently).
Old 09-08-2005, 12:18 AM
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Originally Posted by betenoir
Actually, more likely, he didn't want to make the monkeys insecure . (Wise move, there's nothing more dangerous than a sexually humiliated chimp. Er...or so I'm told!)
Yes, thank you. Human penises are bigger than those of any other ape. Even though gorillas are like twice the size of us, their dicks are something like an inch and a half long.

Jared Diamond's interesting book The Third Chimpanzee illustrates the comparative size of primates' meat-and-two-veg with an immensely amusing (to me) diagram using the "male" symbol's circumferance and arrow length. Something like this:

Code:
 _ _
 /| /|
 / ------
 --- _ / \
 / \ /| | |
 | | / \ | |
 \ / \ / \ /
 --- ------
 Human Gorilla Chimp
Chimps beat us in ball size, but humans totally beat everyone else when it comes to dick. Incidentally, I think I must be the biggest dork in the world to actually go to the trouble of making an ASCII-art rendition. Enjoy!
Old 09-08-2005, 12:55 AM
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Originally Posted by Excalibre
Incidentally, I think I must be the biggest dork in the world to actually go to the trouble of making an ASCII-art rendition. Enjoy!

:: golf clap ::
Old 09-08-2005, 01:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Excalibre
Chimps beat us in ball size, but humans totally beat everyone else when it comes to dick. Incidentally, I think I must be the biggest dork in the world to actually go to the trouble of making an ASCII-art rendition. Enjoy!
Dammit, bourbon out the nose! That huuuurrrrts!
Old 09-08-2005, 02:12 AM
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Yes, but the loincloth just hung in front of Tarzan's crotch. It didn't contain his package as would a jockstrap.
Doesn't a proper loincloth span between the legs and up to the belt before hanging down both in front and behind? The part hanging down isn't the important part. That's just there as counterweight to keep the part between the legs snug.
Old 09-08-2005, 05:08 AM
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Three words: careless-banana-pickers!
Old 09-08-2005, 10:06 AM
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Why does Tarzan wear a loincloth?

Um, to keep his pants up?
Old 09-08-2005, 11:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yllaria
Doesn't a proper loincloth span between the legs and up to the belt before hanging down both in front and behind? The part hanging down isn't the important part. That's just there as counterweight to keep the part between the legs snug.
That's how mine works. That flap down the front is also handy for concealing one's opinions about Jane's new loincloth & cocnut bra.
Old 09-08-2005, 11:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Excalibre
Yes, thank you. Human penises are bigger than those of any other ape. Even though gorillas are like twice the size of us, their dicks are something like an inch and a half long.

Yes! Now I can tell my girlfriend that I am TWICE as hung as a gorilla!






What?
Old 09-08-2005, 11:39 AM
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Originally Posted by Excalibre
... but humans totally beat everyone else when it comes to dick.
HA-ha! Take that you stupid monkey!
Old 09-08-2005, 11:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Inigo Montoya
With all that vine-swinging I don't reckon you have to fly through too many bushes before you realize that certain non-retractable elements are more prone to snags than others. It would be an invention of necessity in fairly short order.
That would also explain the yelling...
Old 09-08-2005, 11:55 AM
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Why does Tarzan wear a loincloth?
Because his Tux is at the dry cleaners?
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Old 09-08-2005, 11:56 AM
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Get yer stinking paws off me....
Old 09-08-2005, 01:53 PM
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Qadgop has it right. There is also a scene where Tarzan teaches himself to shave so that he is more human.
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