Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
#1
Old 07-09-2009, 10:05 PM
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 14,292
Can a pet walrus be kept?

Say I had a large farm, including a lake, in a place like northern Maine; could a walrus be kept as a pet in this kind of environment? I assume it would survive alright if it had a steady diet of fish during the cold season, but would the summer heat be too much for the animal? Would it sweat to death or die of heat stroke if it was exposed to the hot sun for too long?

Would it get bored without other walruses around, or could it have a decent time just living there by itself?

Would this be legal?
#2
Old 07-09-2009, 10:10 PM
Member
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: in a Moot
Posts: 11,621
No is the answer to a lot of your questions

Walrus eat mollusks and things in the muck of the bottom. Unless you are planning on feeding it 200 pounds of herring or mackrel a day I doubt iot would survive in a 75 degree alpine lake.
#3
Old 07-09-2009, 10:18 PM
Friend of Cecil
Charter Member
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: Flavortown
Posts: 35,072
Under the Marine Mammal Protection Act (MMPA) of 1972, it is illegal to "take" any marine mammal, including walruses. "Take" is defined as follows:
Quote:
Take:
  • Defined under the MMPA as "harass, hunt, capture, kill or collect, or attempt to harass, hunt, capture, kill or collect."
  • Defined under the ESA as "to harass, harm, pursue, hunt, shoot, wound, kill, trap, capture, or collect, or to attempt to engage in any such conduct."
So, no, you cannot keep a walrus as a pet. I assume zoos can get permits to possess them.

Last edited by Fear Itself; 07-09-2009 at 10:19 PM.
#4
Old 07-09-2009, 10:28 PM
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Yes
Posts: 20,334
Can a pet walrus be kept?

Yes, but it can be expensive.
Don't expect your walrus to settle for some fourth story walkup.
It'll insist on a 2nd or 3rd floor studio, with a uniformed doorman and an elevator!
#5
Old 07-09-2009, 10:50 PM
Charter Member
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: The Middle of Puget Sound
Posts: 21,811
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Seuss
A walrus with whiskers
Is not a good pet
And a walrus which whispers
Is worse even yet.

There's a walrus at the Point Defiance Zoo in Tacoma. I don't think you realize how big walruses are. It is monstrously huge.
#6
Old 07-09-2009, 11:06 PM
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 14,292
Thanks for the answers, everyone.

Goddamn, motherfucking cocksucking son of a bitch.
#7
Old 07-09-2009, 11:54 PM
Member
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: KCMO
Posts: 11,216
Quote:
Originally Posted by Argent Towers View Post
Goddamn, motherfucking cocksucking son of a bitch.
Anyone we know?
#8
Old 07-10-2009, 01:13 AM
Charter Member
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: San Jose
Posts: 36,071
And it needs seawater, not fresh.
#9
Old 07-10-2009, 08:59 AM
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Windham ME
Posts: 9
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phlosphr View Post
a 75 degree alpine lake.
I can assure you, no lake anywhere in Maine sees a water temperature of 75 degrees.
#10
Old 07-10-2009, 09:10 AM
Suspended
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Central Pennsylvania
Posts: 36,678
Plus, you have to provide it with a steady supply of buckets.
#11
Old 07-10-2009, 09:18 AM
Guest
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Holland,Below the Rivers
Posts: 1,148
A Walrus is listed on CITES Appendix III at the request of Canada which means they are regulated to prevent unsustainable exploitation. You can import one and if you get a permit which will require that the animal was captive bred (they don't say so, they say "not illegally obtained" but this generally means captive bred) and that it is shipped in a way that will not harm teh animal. In order to keep it, you will also need various permits at the Federal, State, and local level.

Getting those permits takes a couple years, including being rejected and appealing, so you will have plenty of time to study up. But in general, if you don't know enough about them to answer those questions by yourself, you can't get a permit. As you should not.
#12
Old 07-10-2009, 09:19 AM
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Near Washington, DC
Posts: 10,513
OK, c'mon, background. . . WHAT brought this up?!?

For a little size perspective (and chuckles):

The_LOLrus
#13
Old 07-10-2009, 09:21 AM
BANNED
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: Chicago,IL
Posts: 14,962
Chumley) Da-a-hee...A Gee Tennessee Mr Livingstone isn't gonna like this

Tennessee Tuxedo) Don't be ridiculous Chumley, he'll love it.

For those of you who don't know, it was Chumley not Tennessee that was the famous one. Stanley Livingstone, found Chumley living at the SOUTH POLE, with his best friend, Tennessee Tuxedo, a penguin. Thus Chumley was the world's only South Pole Walrus, and Stanley Livingstone, wanted to bring Chumley to his zoo. But Chumley would only go if Livingstone took his BFF Tennessee Tuxedo
#14
Old 07-10-2009, 09:24 AM
mbh mbh is online now
Charter Member
Join Date: Jul 2000
Posts: 4,009
The first walrus I ever saw IRL was at an aquatic park in Galveston, Texas. It had apparently shed a lot of blubber in response to the warm weather. Its skin hung extremely loosely on its body. But it seemed to be healthy. It was doing tricks along with the sea lions in one of the shows.
#15
Old 07-10-2009, 09:34 AM
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: New York
Posts: 22,322
Quote:
Originally Posted by TruCelt View Post
OK, c'mon, background. . . WHAT brought this up?!?

For a little size perspective (and chuckles):

The_LOLrus
So is that where this meme started?

But that doesn't even look like it's (supposed to be) a walrus. Don't they all have tusks?
#16
Old 07-10-2009, 09:36 AM
Arms of Steel, Leg of Jello
Charter Member
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Riding my handcycle
Posts: 34,789
Quote:
Originally Posted by Freudian Slit View Post
So is that where this meme started?

But that doesn't even look like it's (supposed to be) a walrus. Don't they all have tusks?
The original is an elephant seal.
#17
Old 07-10-2009, 09:37 AM
Charter Member
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Edinburgh
Posts: 2,269
If you got one, you'd have to learn Morse code to communicate with it.
#18
Old 07-10-2009, 09:38 AM
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: New York
Posts: 22,322
Quote:
Originally Posted by runner pat View Post
The original is an elephant seal.
It's actually an elephant seal or it's a dummy made to look like one? Because it looks so...bizarre.
#19
Old 07-10-2009, 09:39 AM
Not a real doctor.
Charter Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Nolensville, TN
Posts: 7,146
Quote:
Originally Posted by Argent Towers View Post
Thanks for the answers, everyone.

Goddamn, motherfucking cocksucking son of a bitch.
Looks like your pigeon will have to settle for a puppy after all.
#20
Old 07-10-2009, 10:00 AM
Arms of Steel, Leg of Jello
Charter Member
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Riding my handcycle
Posts: 34,789
Quote:
Originally Posted by Freudian Slit View Post
It's actually an elephant seal or it's a dummy made to look like one? Because it looks so...bizarre.
The original is a real elephant seal at a waterpark in Japan. One of his tricks involved the bucket and sticking his tongue out. I know the story is on cheezburger somewhere.

Last edited by running coach; 07-10-2009 at 10:01 AM.
#21
Old 07-10-2009, 10:15 AM
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Central Indiana
Posts: 684
You could always get a plush lolrus with bukkit.
#22
Old 07-10-2009, 10:38 AM
Guest
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Florida
Posts: 67,624
Quote:
Originally Posted by runner pat View Post
The original is an elephant seal.
Which, somewhat surprisingly, is even bigger than a walrus. The largest of the latter reach maybe 4,400 pounds, but the largest known elephant seal weighed over 11,000.

Last edited by Really Not All That Bright; 07-10-2009 at 10:38 AM.
#23
Old 07-10-2009, 10:42 AM
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,405
Ren Hoek: Excuse me, sir. Would you like to buy some rubber neepples?

Horse: No...No, but do you have any rubber walrus protectors?[produces Walrus]

Walrus (whispering): Call the police!

Last edited by sweeteviljesus; 07-10-2009 at 10:42 AM.
#24
Old 07-10-2009, 10:42 AM
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Western Pennsylvania
Posts: 28,977
On the subject of keeping a walrus:

“If you love it let it go. If it returns to you cherish it, if not it was never truly yours.”
#25
Old 07-10-2009, 11:05 AM
Arms of Steel, Leg of Jello
Charter Member
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Riding my handcycle
Posts: 34,789
Quote:
Originally Posted by runner pat View Post
The original is a real elephant seal at a waterpark in Japan. One of his tricks involved the bucket and sticking his tongue out. I know the story is on cheezburger somewhere.
Couldn't find it on cheezburger but here's the story.
#26
Old 07-10-2009, 11:26 AM
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Near Washington, DC
Posts: 10,513
Quote:
Originally Posted by runner pat View Post
The original is an elephant seal.
Ignorance fought.

Actual Walrus (Sans Tusks)

Don't miss the video at the bottom.
#27
Old 07-10-2009, 11:42 AM
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: the extreme center
Posts: 29,682
Yoko brought her walrus
There was magic in the air
#28
Old 07-10-2009, 11:55 AM
Charter Member
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Milky Way Galaxy
Posts: 36,854
I guess on the SDMB the time has come
Quote:
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."


Regards,
Shodan
#29
Old 07-10-2009, 12:09 PM
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: NJ, Exit #137
Posts: 12,024
I love this board.
#30
Old 07-10-2009, 01:18 PM
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: New York
Posts: 22,322
Quote:
Originally Posted by runner pat View Post
Couldn't find it on cheezburger but here's the story.
He's REAL?! But he looks...so...cartoonish! Is that just me?
#31
Old 07-10-2009, 01:35 PM
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: The Nekkid Pueblo
Posts: 20,537
Paging iamthewalrus(:3=. I'd love to hear his take on this one.
#32
Old 07-10-2009, 01:58 PM
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: indianapolis
Posts: 184
Ah, Shodan, you have captured the essence..

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shodan View Post
I guess on the SDMB the time has come


Regards,
Shodan
"I deeply sympathize."
With sobs and tears he sorted out
Those of the largest size,
Holding his pocket-hankerchief
Before his streaming eyes.


#33
Old 07-10-2009, 02:05 PM
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 1,198
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marienee View Post
A Walrus is listed on CITES Appendix III at the request of Canada which means they are regulated to prevent unsustainable exploitation. You can import one and if you get a permit which will require that the animal was captive bred (they don't say so, they say "not illegally obtained" but this generally means captive bred) and that it is shipped in a way that will not harm teh animal. In order to keep it, you will also need various permits at the Federal, State, and local level.

Getting those permits takes a couple years, including being rejected and appealing, so you will have plenty of time to study up. But in general, if you don't know enough about them to answer those questions by yourself, you can't get a permit. As you should not.
It's also illegal under the Mann Act to "transport a female across state lines..." Oh, wait, never mind, that's for immoral porpoises.

Last edited by palindromemordnilap; 07-10-2009 at 02:06 PM.
#34
Old 07-10-2009, 03:50 PM
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: hobgoblin of geographers
Posts: 4,246
I knew there were places that had trained walruses, but trained Elephant Seals? I can't get anything from runner pat's link, does anyone know what the backstory is?
#35
Old 07-10-2009, 06:22 PM
Arms of Steel, Leg of Jello
Charter Member
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Riding my handcycle
Posts: 34,789
Quote:
Originally Posted by wevets View Post
I knew there were places that had trained walruses, but trained Elephant Seals? I can't get anything from runner pat's link, does anyone know what the backstory is?
I just checked it and got a 503 error, hopefully just temporary.

The elephant seal in question was trained to do tricks including holding the bucket and "smiling"(sticking tongue out).

Photos were given the LOLcat treatment (here are the 2 originals).

LOLrus came into being as some thought the seal was a walrus and later photos of walruses hunting for their stolen bucket continued the meme.
#36
Old 07-14-2009, 12:32 PM
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Florida
Posts: 11,853
Those pictures always bothered me because it didn't look like a walrus. But I have to agree, "Lolrus" sounds better than "LolElephant Seal".

So, I guess the question here is ... can an elephant seal be kept?
#37
Old 07-14-2009, 12:52 PM
Guest
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Florida
Posts: 67,624
What about Lolephant Seal?
#38
Old 07-14-2009, 01:07 PM
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: New York
Posts: 22,322
Quote:
Originally Posted by Really Not All That Bright View Post
What about Lolephant Seal?
But we already have a regular lolephant.

http://lolmoth.files.wordpress.com/2...lolephant.jpeg
#39
Old 07-14-2009, 01:09 PM
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 31,112
WHY do you want a walrus? This is killing me.
#40
Old 07-14-2009, 01:18 PM
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: New York
Posts: 22,322
Oops, double posted.

Last edited by Freudian Slit; 07-14-2009 at 01:18 PM.
#41
Old 07-14-2009, 01:30 PM
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,125
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phlosphr View Post
Walrus eat mollusks and things in the muck of the bottom. Unless you are planning on feeding it 200 pounds of herring or mackrel a day I doubt iot would survive in a 75 degree alpine lake.
Obligatory Python Reference: "Where are we going to get 44 tons of plankton every day?"

http://youtube.com/watch?v=iIBA_3aK0Hg
#42
Old 07-14-2009, 01:38 PM
Guest
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Florida
Posts: 67,624
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anaamika View Post
WHY do you want a walrus? This is killing me.
Penis envy.
#43
Old 07-14-2009, 01:47 PM
Suspended
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Central Pennsylvania
Posts: 36,678
Quote:
Originally Posted by Really Not All That Bright View Post
Penis envy.
Baculum envy.
#44
Old 07-14-2009, 02:25 PM
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 31,112
Quote:
Originally Posted by Really Not All That Bright View Post
Penis envy.
Walruses have penises? Wow, I never thought I'd be asking that question, ever.
#45
Old 07-14-2009, 04:01 PM
Arms of Steel, Leg of Jello
Charter Member
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Riding my handcycle
Posts: 34,789
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anaamika View Post
Walruses have penises? Wow, I never thought I'd be asking that question, ever.
And it's also why they have Tupperware parties.




















They're looking for a tight seal.



#46
Old 07-14-2009, 07:05 PM
Guest
Join Date: Oct 1999
Location: Oaxaca, Oaxaca Mexico
Posts: 426
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anaamika View Post
Walruses have penises? Wow, I never thought I'd be asking that question, ever.
Not only do they have a penis,, they have a bone in it that can be thirty inches long. ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baculum) (Five feet long in an extinct species. Take that, John Holmes!!)

Edited to add: jayjay beat me to it, sort of, but probably few of us know what a baculum is. I didn┤t until I looked it up in WIKI.

Last edited by Mapache; 07-14-2009 at 07:08 PM.
#47
Old 07-14-2009, 08:54 PM
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 14,292
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anaamika View Post
WHY do you want a walrus? This is killing me.
Why NOT? It would be a great and unique pet. I think walruses are cute, anyway. If you tried to pet a bull walrus, would it tusk you? Or could it be tamed?
#48
Old 07-14-2009, 11:40 PM
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: United States of Leifholm
Posts: 3,037
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mapache View Post
Not only do they have a penis,, they have a bone in it that can be thirty inches long. ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baculum) (Five feet long in an extinct species. Take that, John Holmes!!)

Edited to add: jayjay beat me to it, sort of, but probably few of us know what a baculum is. I didn┤t until I looked it up in WIKI.
I just read that article and noticed that bonobos engage in competitive penis fights. I guess you learn something (hilarious) every day.

Also, 'Competitive Penis Fight' BAND NAME!
#49
Old 07-15-2009, 08:37 AM
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 31,112
Quote:
Originally Posted by Argent Towers View Post
Why NOT? It would be a great and unique pet. I think walruses are cute, anyway. If you tried to pet a bull walrus, would it tusk you? Or could it be tamed?
Well, I want a penguin or five, so please keep your killer walrus away from my penguin.


Do walruses eat penguins?

Anyway. The whole walrus penis thing reminds me of an old joke:

A penguin was driving along in his car when it broke down. He brought it to a mechanic, who said it would take a few hours for him to look at it.
So the penguin walked around town, did some shopping, and bought some ice cream to eat. At the requisite time, he headed back to his car.
The mechanic stood up and said, "Hey, it looks like you blew a seal."
And the penguin, waving his flippers frantically, said, "Nononono! It was ice cream!"
#50
Old 07-15-2009, 09:37 AM
Suspended
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Central Pennsylvania
Posts: 36,678
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anaamika View Post
Well, I want a penguin or five, so please keep your killer walrus away from my penguin.


Do walruses eat penguins?
I don't think they live anywhere near each other. AFAIK, walruses are Arctic or near-Arctic animals, and penguins are all in the Southern Hemisphere.
Reply

┬ź Previous Thread | Next Thread ┬╗
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:17 AM.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: [email protected]

Send comments about this website to:

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Copyright ę 2018 STM Reader, LLC.

Copyright © 2017
Best Topics: jars of jelly sinking library slider jarts goodrx adderall rsvp please chloroform kidnappings girls nipples hard mydoghasfleas.xyz review lots of horns is moss sterile ice cube trays that don't crack how do you reheat corn on the cob skinny guys with long hair how to separate frozen chicken substitute for orange flower water how long does grenadine last rat terrier blue merle best morning radio shows basketball hoop driveway sloped can you drink buttermilk straight psilocybin mushroom spores legal burlington coat factory return