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#1
Old 09-24-2009, 12:09 AM
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Emergency! There's a rat in my toilet

There's a live rat in my toilet! I just went in the bathroom and heard a splashing noise, looked in the toilet and a rat was looking back at me. I have no idea where he came from or how he ended up in the toilet. He's not too big but larger than a mouse that's why I say it's a rat. I closed the lid so he's still in there. So what do I do now? I thought about flushing but it might get stuck in the pipes somewhere and that would be a big problem. HELP!
#2
Old 09-24-2009, 12:25 AM
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Yeah, don't flush him. He might get stuck, plus that's mean.

I'm not sure what I'd do, but it would probably involve putting peanut butter in some kind of large container that has a lid, and putting the container near the toilet bowl and hope that he goes in there so I could shut the lid on him and release him outside. Maybe a large vase with peanut butter in the end with a bowl you can place over the opening would work.

If that won't work, do you happen to have a cat you can shove down in the toilet?
#3
Old 09-24-2009, 12:44 AM
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Originally Posted by Justin Credible View Post
Yeah, don't flush him. He might get stuck, plus that's mean.
If that won't work, do you happen to have a cat you can shove down in the toilet?
Now that would be mean.

Well, I googled the question and was directed to an exterminator's page. They recommended squirting liquid dish soap under the lid and give it a flush. I did that and it worked. Had to flush about 10 times though. Sonofabitch didn't want to let go of the bowl.
Seems critters can get in through the vent stack all the way up on the roof. I'm gonna have to get up there tomorrow and screen it off.
My wife won't be peeing in the dark anymore.
#4
Old 09-24-2009, 12:49 AM
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.... well, ya learn somethin' new every day don't ya?

I think I'd have gone the cinder block on the toilet lid + call animal control route. Then again, I'm typing from a keyboard from miles and miles away, without a live rat splashing around my toilet.
#5
Old 09-24-2009, 02:56 AM
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I've heard of this, but never experienced it myself. Apparently, the rats can squeeze through a pipe the diameter of a quarter. I do not go to the bathroom at night without light exactly for this reason. I don't want something tapping at my ass, indicating they'd like to get out of the bowl. Or, god forbid, a leap/grab/bite on my dangling balls.

I'd have probably poisoned it somehow. I don't think I'd want to flush it. Or use the brick method and call animal control.

yikes, what an awful surprise!
#6
Old 09-24-2009, 05:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stink Fish Pot View Post
I've heard of this, but never experienced it myself. Apparently, the rats can squeeze through a pipe the diameter of a quarter. I do not go to the bathroom at night without light exactly for this reason. I don't want something tapping at my ass, indicating they'd like to get out of the bowl. Or, god forbid, a leap/grab/bite on my dangling balls.

I'd have probably poisoned it somehow. I don't think I'd want to flush it. Or use the brick method and call animal control.

yikes, what an awful surprise!
A quarter? From the toilet it's a minimum 3 inch hole that continues to get bigger in the sewer system.

Ever hear the term "sewer rat". They be real. If you want to worry about something worry about snakes biting your dangly bits.. But since you're a guy you don't have to take that sitting down.
#7
Old 09-24-2009, 06:53 AM
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Originally Posted by Magiver View Post
A quarter? From the toilet it's a minimum 3 inch hole that continues to get bigger in the sewer system.

Ever hear the term "sewer rat". They be real. If you want to worry about something worry about snakes biting your dangly bits.. But since you're a guy you don't have to take that sitting down.
A quarter diameter was the size I saw on one of those TV shows that discuss these sorts of things. I know a standard toilet has a larger hole and is therefore much easier for the rat to access.

I couldn't believe the squishy bastard could squeeze into a tube so tight, but there it is. Knowing this has changed my toilet behavior at night ever since. And this thread hasn't helped much to change anything.
#8
Old 09-24-2009, 07:01 AM
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It might have come through the sewer. That's one good reason to keep the toilet lid down that women leave up all the time. You can have a really clean sealed up house, but the toilet is always an entry point.

A local plumber got called for a plugged toilet. The toilet snake wouldn't go past the curve in the toilet. He removed the toilet to find a large constrictor snake in the sewer pipe.
#9
Old 09-24-2009, 07:43 AM
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Find a nice straight stick about a foot long, insert as appropriate and - hey! Toilet brush!
#10
Old 09-24-2009, 07:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Buttons View Post
I think I'd have gone the cinder block on the toilet lid + call animal control route. Then again, I'm typing from a keyboard from miles and miles away, without a live rat splashing around my toilet.
I'd have gone with "scream like a little girl at a volume they can hear from Australia", myself.
#11
Old 09-24-2009, 07:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stink Fish Pot View Post
I don't want something tapping at my ass, indicating they'd like to get out of the bowl. Or, god forbid, a leap/grab/bite on my dangling balls.
That'd be like a rodent's version of Wipeout.
#12
Old 09-24-2009, 07:57 AM
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Cecil actually covers this: https://academicpursuits.us/columns/...the-urk-toilet
#13
Old 09-24-2009, 08:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stink Fish Pot View Post
I don't want something tapping at my ass, indicating they'd like to get out of the bowl.

You're assuming that a rat would look at your ass and think, "I'd tap that."
#14
Old 09-24-2009, 08:10 AM
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they come through the sewer or down the vent pipe from the roof. it gets in the bowl and can't climb out. don't try guns (even BB, people shatter their toilet) or a baseball bat (maybe shatter and maybe climb up the bat and escape into house).

close the lid and keep flushing. at some time it will head back down the drain. maybe some irritating chemical like bleach will help it not like to stay in the bowl.
#15
Old 09-24-2009, 08:20 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hypno-Toad View Post
You're assuming that a rat would look at your ass and think, "I'd tap that."
Bravo, my friend. Encore?
#16
Old 09-24-2009, 08:57 AM
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This is why I've given up toilets. Much too dangerous.
#17
Old 09-24-2009, 10:44 AM
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This is one of the Dope’s collective mind’s shining moments. Steve Irwin would have been proud. What—you guys can’t grab the freaking kitchen tongs, pluck the little bastard out of the pool, toss him in a bucket, and let him loose in the backyard? Your cats are looking at you right now and shaking their heads in disbelief.
#18
Old 09-24-2009, 11:17 AM
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Glad you got rid of the rat. For future reference, though, if you ever get one in your kitchen, the answer is "fix that rat." (YouTube link).
#19
Old 09-24-2009, 11:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Washoe View Post
This is one of the Dope’s collective mind’s shining moments. Steve Irwin would have been proud. What—you guys can’t grab the freaking kitchen tongs, pluck the little bastard out of the pool, toss him in a bucket, and let him loose in the backyard? Your cats are looking at you right now and shaking their heads in disbelief.
Yes, this. But use the bbq tongs, and make sure you put gloves on first.

Did the rat come up the drain? Or did it fall in looking for a drink.
#20
Old 09-24-2009, 11:47 AM
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Yeah, I can't believe you flushed him. That's mean, could clog your toilet (and the plumber would yell at you), is bad for the sewer system, and did I mention it's really mean?
#21
Old 09-24-2009, 11:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zsofia View Post
Yeah, I can't believe you flushed him. That's mean, could clog your toilet (and the plumber would yell at you), is bad for the sewer system, and did I mention it's really mean?
sewer rats climb up from the drains. that is likely how it got there in the first place. they live in sewers, it's not mean to have them go home.
#22
Old 09-24-2009, 12:15 PM
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My home is my home, and any intruder into my home, especially potentiall disease carrying vermin, do not get sympathetic treatment. Take him outside? You mean where he might find his way back in? Nope. Flushing sounds about as humane as I am going to get, other options are going to be much worse.

It's a RAT, people. Rats are vermin.
#23
Old 09-24-2009, 12:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by johnpost View Post
don't try guns (even BB, people shatter their toilet).
I can't believe you even have to advise people not to shoot their toilet. Is this one of those "Only in America" things?
#24
Old 09-24-2009, 12:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by johnpost View Post
sewer rats climb up from the drains. that is likely how it got there in the first place. they live in sewers, it's not mean to have them go home.
It's mean to drown it.
#25
Old 09-24-2009, 12:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zsofia View Post
It's mean to drown it.
I'm quite sure I didn't drown him. It's only a short distance to the sewer he came in from. And with the added lubrication of the dish soap he certainly went back a lot faster than he came in. Probably even enjoyed the ride.

Well, I had my morning sitdown with great trepidation today. No more magazines for me. From now on it's Sit, Poop, Wipe, Get up, Close lid. Flush.

Damn rat. Ruined one of the few pleasures I have left in life.
#26
Old 09-24-2009, 12:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zsofia View Post
It's mean to drown it.
Except it probably wouldn't drown. The drain pipe is actually mostly full of air. That and the rat is a damn good swimmer.
#27
Old 09-24-2009, 12:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zsofia View Post
Yeah, I can't believe you flushed him. That's mean, could clog your toilet (and the plumber would yell at you), is bad for the sewer system, and did I mention it's really mean?
Quote:
Originally Posted by johnpost View Post
sewer rats climb up from the drains. that is likely how it got there in the first place. they live in sewers, it's not mean to have them go home.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zsofia View Post
It's mean to drown it.
it won't drown if it goes back down the sewer. there is only total water in traps and low spots which it swims underwater through. otherwise sewer pipes have air in them.

if you held it under water in the bowl it would drown. if you flushed it then it goes home.
#28
Old 09-24-2009, 01:04 PM
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Originally Posted by Peanuthead View Post
Well, I had my morning sitdown with great trepidation today. No more magazines for me. From now on it's Sit, Poop, Wipe, Get up, Close lid. Flush.

Damn rat. Ruined one of the few pleasures I have left in life.
better for you to not linger (though there was the recent thread on reading material). with the common low toilet seat it puts extra pressure on your sphincter and i've heard claims that is not good to prolong it.
#29
Old 09-24-2009, 01:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zsofia View Post
It's mean to drown it.
As opposed to killing it any other way? I strongly suspect that drowning is more humane than shooting or getting it with a snap trap, anyway.

Rats are on the same level as cockroaches, in my mind, with the disadvantage that you can't stomp on a rat. There is no reason to let one live (obviously exclusing people's pet rat). They carry disease and don't offer any compensating benefit. I once read a book (I thought by Farley Mowat but now I can't find anything that sounds right) called something like "animals nobody likes" and it talked about all sorts of critters that people hate / fear, and for each one it also talked about why a) you shouldn't hate/fear them, and b) why they were actually pretty good to have around.

Except for the chapter on rats. Those had no redeeming characteristics.

Me, the only reason I'd see to not flush the damn thing would be fear it'd get stuck and clog the pipes. BLECH!
#30
Old 09-24-2009, 01:15 PM
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Originally Posted by Colophon View Post
I can't believe you even have to advise people not to shoot their toilet. Is this one of those "Only in America" things?
If I found a rat in my toilet, I would be strongly tempted to try nuking it from orbit. If I had guns in the house (which I don't), and thought the rat could be killed that way, I could see myself running for one of them. If there is a rat in my house, I'm going to try to find a way to deal with it that doesn't involve touching the rat (ewww). Especially if it's alive and might bite or scratch.
#31
Old 09-24-2009, 01:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by johnpost View Post
don't try guns (even BB, people shatter their toilet)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Colophon View Post
I can't believe you even have to advise people not to shoot their toilet. Is this one of those "Only in America" things?
i recall hearing people have done it which caused the mention.
#32
Old 09-24-2009, 01:33 PM
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Originally Posted by Mama Zappa View Post
Me, the only reason I'd see to not flush the damn thing would be fear it'd get stuck and clog the pipes. BLECH!
they are good at squirming through pipes so if it's alive it is not likely to get stuck. if it would die and get stuck a snake (the metal plumbing kind) would take care of it.
#33
Old 09-24-2009, 01:45 PM
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If there's a rat in your head, is there a little yellow man under your bed?
#34
Old 09-24-2009, 02:28 PM
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Wow, there's a lot of rat-haters around here. My sister used to have two pet rats. They were very friendly and intelligent and liked to ride around on her shoulders.
#35
Old 09-24-2009, 02:33 PM
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Originally Posted by Morgis View Post
Wow, there's a lot of rat-haters around here. My sister used to have two pet rats. They were very friendly and intelligent and liked to ride around on her shoulders.
Rats are fine in their proper context. That would be either as pets belonging to people who do not live in my house, or at a minimum several hundred feet away from me, my house, and my car.
#36
Old 09-24-2009, 02:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Morgis View Post
Wow, there's a lot of rat-haters around here. My sister used to have two pet rats. They were very friendly and intelligent and liked to ride around on her shoulders.
Fine and dandy. But they weren't sewer rats carrying God knows what nasty bugs. Damn, I wish I hadn't opened this thread, I will not rest easy on my throne this night.
#37
Old 09-24-2009, 02:54 PM
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Lucky. I'd love to have a rat that I could flush and have run up and down my sewer drains. I have old pipes filled with gunk, and Drano and running a snake only does so much. A frisky rat with teeth and claws would get my bathtub draining like it should
#38
Old 09-24-2009, 03:04 PM
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Jesus. I might not mind having a rat as a pet but a rat in my toilet?! It's gone, man - it's lucky if I only flush it!
#39
Old 09-24-2009, 03:39 PM
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Myself, I'd close the lid long enough to put on leather work gloves, and rig up either a big set of tongs or a noose on a stick to trap the rat and take it far away.
#40
Old 09-24-2009, 05:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Colophon View Post
I can't believe you even have to advise people not to shoot their toilet. Is this one of those "Only in America" things?
You've never heard the phrase "As easy as shooting rats in a toilet"?

#41
Old 09-26-2009, 07:18 PM
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I thought I was the only person with a rat problem. I posted this on another board Aug. 28 of last year:

Every year as fall approaches, I get inundated with packrats. Over the years I've learned it's best to leave an opening for them, because if I don't, they make them. They'll chew right through siding and plywood. At least with an existing entryway I can monitor their activity and don't have to suffer new holes.

Some of them are pretty damn smart, and you can never tell what might interest them as bait in a trap.

I noticed the first one a couple weeks ago when I inadvertently left a green pepper out overnight. It was half gone in the morning, so I immediately knew I'd been invaded early this year.

Since this one obviously likes green peppers, I set out my trapline with peppers as bait. He must have gotten his fill the first night because he just ignored the bait in succeeding raids. I've had past success with peanut butter, soap, fish heads, fried potatoes, raw potatoes along with a bunch of other items, and tried them all with no luck.

Finally resorted to D-Con. Put out a new box every night four nights in a row and it didn't seem to have any effect on him. Last night I heard him trying to haul the box of poison home with him, then...SNAP! Little bugger couldn't see where he was going with the box of poison in his mouth and bumbled into one of my rat traps!

Generally the traps are pretty lethal and I give them a couple minutes to do their job before disposing of them. I checked on him and though he looked dead, couldn't really see how he was caught. Poked him a couple times with my foot, then just decided to wait awhile. Soon as I left, I could hear him struggling. Bastard was playing dead! A new tactic in my experience, he turned out to just be caught by one leg.

Don't know if you've ever looked at a packrats teeth, but they look pretty impressive to me and I don't really want to see how much damage they can do to me. I'm trying to think how I can finish this, short of blowing a hole in my bathroom floor with the 12 gauge when I think, "toilet!" I grabbed the farthest end of the trap from his teeth and swung him into the toilet. I've got one of those old toilets with the full five gallon flush, so the bowl holds a fair amount of water. I tried holding him under with the trap, but he wasn't having any of that and in the ensuing struggle, managed to pull his leg free from the trap. He was quick, but I was quicker. I slammed the lid of the toilet down before he managed to claw his way up my arm to my juggler.

So, now I'm in real trouble. Even though those five gallon flushers will do a heroic job of getting stubborn things down, there was no way in hell that packrat was going to fit down the pipe. I cracked the lid a bit to check on things and he was sitting there on his little wood raft, when he sprung at the tiny view crack. Lucky I didn't smash my nose when I slammed the lid down again.

I've only got one bathroom, and I know I'm going to be wanting to use it in the morning, so I have two choices. Either try to kill the bastard off or rig up some sort of remote lid lifter and let him go. Really, I knew it came down to only one choice because if I let him go, I'd never be able to sleep soundly again, waiting for him to extract revenge in some ugly way.

Thought about the shotgun again, but then I saw the plumbers helper sitting right there. I knew I had to be lightning fast, but fortunately, the adrenaline had kicked in and I was successful in getting him with the first plunge. I waited the appropriate amount of time, but when I relaxed the plunger a bit, discovered that he'd managed to find some breathing space in that plunger, so I had to re plunge and waited about 20 minutes.

I left him in there overnight (with the lid down, just in case) so I could give him an appropriate burial in the morning so the chickens wouldn't eat him and all the poison he'd consumed. So this morning I carefully opened the lid to find that I was indeed successful and fished his body and raft out for disposal.

Just before I started this thread, I heard another packrat come through the hole in the bathroom. I think his brother is looking for him! I'm scared, real scared!
#42
Old 09-26-2009, 10:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bare View Post
I slammed the lid of the toilet down before he managed to claw his way up my arm to my juggler.
Actually, if your juggler had the usual accoutrements (clubs, torches, chainsaws), s/he might have dispatched the packrat in short order.
#43
Old 09-27-2009, 03:24 AM
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Ok, ok, so I ain't a proofreader.
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