View Poll Results: What are older dudes with 'trophy wives' thinking?
"Look at how cool I am, I have hottie much younga" 172 88.21%
Just likes younger and not trying to show off 23 11.79%
Voters: 195. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 02-18-2011, 01:06 PM
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I don't get it: What is 'Trophy Wife' supposed to mean? Why do they exist?

I keep hearing the phrase "Trophy Wife" thrown about

I suppose it means a wealthier older man with a significantly younger woman.

But I don't get it. Does Trophy signify that Uncle Moneybags just wants to show off a honey (and we are supposed to recognize that he has status and wealth to balance the disadvantage of his advancing age? And then be impressed?)

Or is it just that older men are attracted (it seems) to as young a female as society will legally let them have, or consent to them, and they really don't care about anything else? (And so we call them Trophy wives because we are bitter at Old Man Moneybag's moneybags)

And are the 'trophy wives' not only younger but also beautiful? Many younger women are ug-oes. Do they have to be both young and perfect 10?

I dont get it.

Last edited by No Wikipedia Cites; 02-18-2011 at 01:08 PM.
Old 02-18-2011, 01:14 PM
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Some women are attracted to men with money even if the man is ugly or old.
This allows an ugly, old but wealthy man to offset his obvious physical unattractiveness with a clear sign that a younger woman who is very attractive is sleeping with him.

Or maybe he isn't that interested in buying a second yacht.
Old 02-18-2011, 01:23 PM
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I think that the notion of a trophy wife isn't necessarily young or hot (although they usually are), but rather choosing a wife to project a certain image instead of for love. That could mean marrying a prim, proper, matronly woman to appear more respectable, or marrying a young hippie chick to appear more freewheeling.
Old 02-18-2011, 01:23 PM
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I don't think a Trophy Wife need be very young, or younger than her husband at all. In fact, my sister in law is a perfect Trophy Wife, and she's four years older than her husband. But still smokin' hot. In my head, Trophy Wife is a beautiful woman who doesn't generally work, unless it's at fundraisers or charities, doesn't use whatever education she has (that is, she may have a degree, but she doesn't work at a job requiring it) and spends quite a bit of money to keep her appearances tip top - gym memberships, frequent spa and salon visits, new dresses for every occasion, etc.

The Trophy Wife is concerned with her husband's career far more than hers, if hers even exists, and she considers it her job to make him look successful, virile and affluent by making herself look very well "taken care of". She's smart, and pretty, and can make appropriate small talk at dinner parties thrown by his workplace, but she's not much interested in creating success for herself, but through him.


Although, all that being said, I've teased my SO about being his Trophy Wife (and I add, "But hey, not every trophy is First Place!") simply because I am so much younger than he is. There is definitely a strong connotation that a Trophy Wife is beautiful, and since we tend to find younger women more beautiful, I think the concepts have been conflated a bit. But in reality, there are Trophy Wives in their forties, and while I'm younger, I'm not really a Trophy Wife at all, so age difference isn't the determinate factor here.

Last edited by WhyNot; 02-18-2011 at 01:25 PM.
Old 02-18-2011, 01:24 PM
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To me it just implies that he is primarily interested in her physical attractiveness, and she is primarily interested in his money/status. I don't think it is a requirement that the man be significantly older than the woman.
Old 02-18-2011, 01:37 PM
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I think younger definitely is part of the equation. What else is a trophy but something shiny and signifies that you've won something? If she's young and pretty, that means "I've got status significant enough to attract this ... and by the way don't you wish you were me?"

Myself, I am a trophy-wife wannabe; though I'm younger than my husband by a decade, I'm not young and hot enough to be anyone's trophy.
Old 02-18-2011, 01:47 PM
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I would contend, by definition, a trophy wife is the second wife. The first did her duty raising the kids, standing behind her man as he struggled to the top, made what ever personal sacrifices were needed to support the family, and then when he gets the 'itch', boom, she is chucked as quickly and cheaply and as with as little regards to her feelings and sacrifices as possible, just for the thrill of some hot arm candy.

If the first wife is living, bitter, older, and heavier than the second wife, it is an automatic trophy wife scenario.


Not that there is anything wrong with that . . . .
Old 02-18-2011, 01:52 PM
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An example would be Bernie Ecclestone http://gstaadlife.com/2008/02/bernie-ecclesto.html

Last edited by Mk VII; 02-18-2011 at 01:54 PM.
Old 02-18-2011, 01:54 PM
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In my understanding, trophy wives are never first wives. The first wife is the one who helped the guy on his way up, and then is dumped for someone younger and (now) more attractive.

There are cases of men marrying for money, or for the woman's social position, but I wouldn't consider them trophy wives. I guess it is possible for them to be involved in charities, but not required. Attractive people marry other attractive people of more or less the same age all the time, but that isn't the trophy wife case either.
Old 02-18-2011, 01:57 PM
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Why do they exist?


Men are peegs.




Old 02-18-2011, 02:09 PM
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The Trophy Wife is more of a prize than The Young Bimbo.

She is usually beautiful & may be younger than Hubby. She is also educated, socially skilled & "accomplished." In the old days, accomplishments were fancy sewing, playing an instrument & speaking French; now, athletic skills & the right sort of volunteer work are what count. She might work--as an entrepreneur or as a professional. But she will have time to look good on Hubbie's arm as he moves in more rarefied circles.

Wifie #1 supported Hubbie as he built his career & kept the kids out of his hair. She's probably kept herself looking pretty good--but she's not Brand New any more. Since she did quite well in the divorce, she shouldn't complain. (She will still do volunteer work--just for the less-glamorous causes; Diseases, rather than Cutting Edge Art Groups.)

Trophy Wife might give Hubbie a baby or two--with a full staff to handle the messy stuff. And he will take time out to enjoy the babies; they will be revelations! The kids from the first marriage have trust funds--they shouldn't complain, either.

(The Houston society pages are quite educational.)
Old 02-18-2011, 02:17 PM
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I don't get the reason for this thread even existing. Of course the guy is trying to show off, that's the definition of trophy. WTF?
Old 02-18-2011, 02:23 PM
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Old 02-18-2011, 02:30 PM
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In my opinion, a trophy wife is won or bought - the love that most people marry for isn't really part of the equation.
Old 02-18-2011, 02:49 PM
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I don't think that a trophy wife has to be a second wife, young, beautiful, or a lazy princess. Nor does the husband necessarily have to be a tool or a showoff. The only criteria is that she increase his social status.

But I think that the term is usually used by cynical or jealous people.
Old 02-18-2011, 02:50 PM
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Originally Posted by Ellen Cherry View Post
I think younger definitely is part of the equation. What else is a trophy but something shiny and signifies that you've won something? If she's young and pretty, that means "I've got status significant enough to attract this ... and by the way don't you wish you were me?"
This has always been my understanding. The trophy wife is a young hottie that the guy couldn't get if he wasn't rich and powerful. She's a statement to the other guys: "Look! I'm bangin' a 23-year old aerobics instructor!"
Old 02-18-2011, 02:52 PM
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Originally Posted by tdn View Post
I don't think that a trophy wife has to be a second wife, young, beautiful, or a lazy princess. Nor does the husband necessarily have to be a tool or a showoff. The only criteria is that she increase his social status.
No way. If the hypothetically-single I married (the also hypothetically-single) Meg Whitman that would definitely raise my social status and she would in no way be a trophy wife.
Old 02-18-2011, 02:58 PM
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No way. If the hypothetically-single I married (the also hypothetically-single) Meg Whitman that would definitely raise my social status and she would in no way be a trophy wife.
Some people would call her one though. Because they would think that there's no way you could actually love a bimbo like that.
Old 02-18-2011, 03:05 PM
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Originally Posted by WhyNot View Post
doesn't use whatever education she has (that is, she may have a degree, but she doesn't work at a job requiring it)
Of course, this describes the a fair majority of jobs, especially in the service sector where the college credential is valued more as an IQ/diligence test than a way of learning stuff. </kvetch>

Quote:
This has always been my understanding. The trophy wife is a young hottie that the guy couldn't get if he wasn't rich and powerful. She's a statement to the other guys: "Look! I'm bangin' a 23-year old aerobics instructor!"
Yeah, I'd say mutual status climbing is the key here - the girl gets to say "hey I have a rich/powerful husband"; the guy gets to say "hey, I'm banging a hot chick"

Of course the male hindbrain is attracted to nubile ladies and the female hindbrain is attracted to status and power, so it's tough to draw the line of what's "real" (socially legitimate) love and what's socially illegitimate status climbing.

Last edited by athelas; 02-18-2011 at 03:09 PM.
Old 02-18-2011, 03:24 PM
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Originally Posted by tdn View Post
Some people would call her one though. Because they would think that there's no way you could actually love a bimbo like that.
Not on this planet they wouldn't. A pool boy marrying a 60 year old rich widow does not have a trophy wife - though she might have a trophy husband.
Old 02-18-2011, 04:20 PM
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Originally Posted by athelas View Post
Of course the male hindbrain is attracted to nubile ladies and the female hindbrain is attracted to status and power, so it's tough to draw the line of what's "real" (socially legitimate) love and what's socially illegitimate status climbing.
Exactly. Even if he got noticed by his wealth, maybe it turns out that she actually likes him. I have a feeling that a lot of the old guys like to fool themselves with this one.
Old 02-18-2011, 04:22 PM
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I'm hearing the song "Lyin' Eyes" playing in the background of this thread.
Old 02-18-2011, 04:56 PM
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Not on this planet they wouldn't. A pool boy marrying a 60 year old rich widow does not have a trophy wife - though she might have a trophy husband.
"Boy toy".
Old 02-18-2011, 05:09 PM
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I would contend, by definition, a trophy wife is the second wife.
This. And the second wife is younger. By contrary the first wife is commonly called the Practice wife.
Old 02-18-2011, 05:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Omar Little
This. And the second wife is younger. By contrary the first wife is commonly called the Practice wife. .

"Starter wife" is the term I've heard.

And I don't think a trophy wife has to supplant a starter wife.

Basically, in broad terms, a trophy wife is a woman a man marries or dates for pretty much the sole purpose of enhancing his social status. Much like an actual trophy, she is expected to be shiny, coveted by others and quiet. Although it usually works both ways as the reason she is with him is because her own status or standard of living is increased.

Typically there is a very obvious disparity in terms of attractiveness, age, socioeconomic class or status.

I should note that a marriage of equals is not really a trophy wife situation. Jenny McCarthy was not Jim Carrey's trophy wife (or girlfriend...I forget if they were married) because she is famous and successful in her own right (and she has a lot of personality). Some anonymous Playboy bunny would, however, be typically considered a trophy.

Last edited by msmith537; 02-18-2011 at 05:42 PM.
Old 02-18-2011, 05:48 PM
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A trophy wife is a wife that other guys want to bang. The point is to make other guys envious. Also, it's more fun to bang a young, hot wife than an old, fat one, but mostly the "trophy" aspect is about making other guys jealous. It's s status symbol like a hot car.
Old 02-18-2011, 07:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Lute Skywatcher View Post
"Boy toy".
Hmmm. Are boy toys still boy toys after marriage? Inquiring minds want to know.
Old 10-15-2012, 02:47 AM
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Disambiguation or a post-modern semantic fancy?

From Quranic texts on the promise of nymphs in paradise and the Greco-roman warrior prize from which the original author may have coined the term, we can get some help in order to eliminate the derogatory attachment to the true meaning of TROPHY WIFE.

I do understand that people, both men and women, may want an object to show off. Even when both partners or couple are same age, an element of prestige is often involved in pairing. It is socially desirable in most cultures to have a partner everyone will agree is ''a prize'' for whatever exploits. For example when a man has the Governor's daughter, the Princess or the Heiress, Beauty Queen, etc by his side.

The same may be reasonably supposed for women, as we notice when an employee becomes the love choice of the business owner and boss. In some situations, a student feels special dating her lecturer or professor. With these said, I will specifically cite the etymology of TROPHY and the deviated meaning of the term TROPHY WIFE when it came into use not too long ago. It is unfortunate to see it lose other semantic values.

My "little" understanding after reading on the subject, both here and elsewhere, is that it has come to unjustly suffer abuse. A trophy wife may reasonably refer to a gorgeous younger wife 'deserved' after a very difficult or painful past. After all, a trophy is a merit. We do show trophies all right, but they are for keeps.

Whilst it may be true that some men would simply want to have attention, or could get beautiful, younger wives because of their wealth, we should not forget how strong love binds and blinds. When you deeply love someone, age, race, money and looks become irrelevant. Sometimes, it is the younger woman who falls in love with a more matured and caring older man. In my experience, the younger wife didn't know if I owned a bicycle. Disappointed with age-mates, she fell for a decisive man who said "I'm not looking for a girlfriend. I want a wife."

Then there was another big thing - she thought I was old enough to be married. Yes, I had been married before but not any longer. When you compare the credibility issues, I guess she was right in falling for me, instead of a younger guy who would lie about his numerous flames. Hey, at an age nicely graced with touches of grey, gosh I look sooooo presentable in Ermenegildo Zegna and Ferre armor, ready to battle any intruders. So, if you ever see a pretty young woman in love with an older man, know he has a big sense of humor and could be an intellectual genius in the many ways.
Old 10-15-2012, 04:59 AM
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"Leslie and I have an amazing relationship and it's very physical, he still pushes all my buttons. People say 'oh but he's so much older than you' and you know what, I'm the one having to push him away. We have so much in common, we both love soup and snow peas, we love the outdoors, and talking and... not talking. We could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about. "
Old 10-15-2012, 08:18 AM
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I knew a woman who believed that she was supplanted by a Trophy Wife.

The Trophy Wife is a younger woman that replaces your older, now grown less sexy (and more used to you) original wife. She's younger and sexier, is more enraptured by you (becauswe you're new, to her) and you get the thrill of sdhowing her things and trying new things with her (that your Starter Wife might not want to do). And she's "Trophy" because your peers -- those other older guys, still ewith their original older wives, get to see you struttin' with this new younger woman.

Getting rid of your older wife and obtaining a TRiophy Wife says sweveral things simultaneously:

1.) You have the will to do this, even though people might be hurt, so you are ca real People Manager
2.) You have the clout to obtain the divorce and make it stick
3.) You have the ability to charm and marry a new wife
4.) You have the charm/machismo/sexinesws/money to charm a Hot Woman into being your wife.


The thing that really struck the woman I know is that she said of the TRophy Wife "She reminded me of a younger me." Both physically and in personality. Her ex-husband was rewarding himself with a younger her. There wasn't anything essentially wrong with her, except that she was older and less attractive.
Old 10-15-2012, 09:29 AM
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All I know is young Thai bargirls positively swoon over fat, old, balding Western men. Or so the girls tell me.
Old 10-15-2012, 09:32 AM
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Originally Posted by CalMeacham View Post
The thing that really struck the woman I know is that she said of the TRophy Wife "She reminded me of a younger me." Both physically and in personality. Her ex-husband was rewarding himself with a younger her. There wasn't anything essentially wrong with her, except that she was older and less attractive.
Thus the line "he traded her in for a younger model", or even (I suspect, originally) "a newer model"; it isn't model as in thin woman who struts on a catwalk, but as in cars.

Last edited by Nava; 10-15-2012 at 09:32 AM.
Old 10-15-2012, 09:55 AM
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Guys. You're over thinking it.

What is a "trophy"? It's a shiny object of little inherent value that a person keeps around to demonstrate some sort of achievement. In this case, that "object" is a very attractive woman and that "achievement" is being successful enough to attract someone that pretty and superficial.


They "exist" because, from what I have observed, a lot of extremely successful men are driven by deep feelings of inadequacy and narcisssism. They are not looking for a companion or "life partner" or anything like that. Their wife is basically another accessory like their Mercedes, their Rolex or their house in the Hamptons they can compare against their peers.


Also, it doesn't have to be a second wife, although it often is.

Last edited by msmith537; 10-15-2012 at 09:57 AM.
Old 10-15-2012, 10:04 AM
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I thought a trophy wife was a young woman who looks like John Heisman.
Old 10-15-2012, 10:09 AM
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Several people have illustrated this correctly. It's not about being cool, it's about ending up with a highly desireable wife because of your achievements (mainly the accumulation of power and money). And don't fret ladies, the term 'trophy husband' is getting more use these days.
Old 10-15-2012, 10:35 AM
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Is the question about the term "trophy" itself? If so, I don't think of it as meaning something that a man gets necessarily to show off to others but rather a "prize" that he has earned for being a winner.
Old 10-15-2012, 11:14 AM
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Originally Posted by Acsenray View Post
Is the question about the term "trophy" itself? If so, I don't think of it as meaning something that a man gets necessarily to show off to others but rather a "prize" that he has earned for being a winner.
Same difference IMHO.
Old 10-15-2012, 11:15 AM
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I think the litmus test for a trophy wife is:
"Would she be with him if he didn't have his fame/wealth?"
I consider a lot of professional atheletes to have trophy wives. Kyle Busch anyone? Jay Cutler?
Old 10-15-2012, 11:16 AM
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Originally Posted by Acsenray View Post
Is the question about the term "trophy" itself? If so, I don't think of it as meaning something that a man gets necessarily to show off to others but rather a "prize" that he has earned for being a winner.
On its own, no, but in combination with wife, yes. There's no reason for a special term for a hot wife you won over if you aren't flaunting that win.

Last edited by BigT; 10-15-2012 at 11:17 AM.
Old 10-15-2012, 11:16 AM
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Same difference IMHO.
I don't think so. He might value the young, attractive woman for having those very qualities for himself to enjoy, not just because others will see them. To me it implies the idea: I have finally reached a stage in my life in which people (in this case, a desirable woman) are willing to give me what I want.
Old 10-15-2012, 11:20 AM
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On its own, no, but in combination with wife, yes. There's no reason for a special term for a hot wife you won over if you aren't flaunting that win.
Well, who's using the label "trophy wife"? It's not usually the guy married to one, I'm guessing.
Old 10-15-2012, 03:41 PM
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Originally Posted by CalMeacham View Post
you get the thrill of sdhowing her things
Oh, is THAT what they're calling it now?
Old 10-15-2012, 04:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Hampshire View Post
I think the litmus test for a trophy wife is:
"Would she be with him if he didn't have his fame/wealth?"
I consider a lot of professional atheletes to have trophy wives. Kyle Busch anyone? Jay Cutler?
I thought I had killed this thread.

The typical trophy wife is valued for her hotness. It is perfectly possible for a hot woman to get a PhD, but she isn't going to be a trophy wife. A trophy life, like a trophy, is not going to be doing real work - maybe fake work - and is going to be displayed.

Men of a certain age who can't afford trophy wives get convertibles.
Old 10-15-2012, 04:09 PM
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Steven Wright: "A friend of mine has a trophy wife, but apparently, it wasn't first place."
Old 10-15-2012, 05:42 PM
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I always thought it was never about showing off. I thought it was about getting the hottest woman out there, usually reserved for very rich men.

If I was loaded, trust me the last thing I'd be thinking of I want a hot woman to impress my friends. Hot woman for me would be the primary motivator.
Old 10-15-2012, 05:47 PM
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To me an essential part of the term is that the couple is not together out of mutual love, a trophy wife is not just a couple with a wide gulf in age or money etc. A trophy spouse is only there for the money, and their spouse knows it too. It is basically a business arrangement, not a usual marriage. I don't think there is anything wrong with that per se, but I think it is the difference the term is pointing out.
Old 10-15-2012, 05:59 PM
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I just voted in a zombie poll.
Old 10-15-2012, 06:36 PM
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Trophy Wives are :
  • Younger
  • Hotter
  • Sexier
  • One hellava lot more mercenary.
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Old 10-16-2012, 09:15 AM
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Originally Posted by Leaffan View Post
Steven Wright: "A friend of mine has a trophy wife, but apparently, it wasn't first place."
My variant on this: I have a trophy wife, best in show.
Old 10-16-2012, 10:25 AM
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Originally Posted by Acsenray View Post
I don't think so. He might value the young, attractive woman for having those very qualities for himself to enjoy, not just because others will see them. To me it implies the idea: I have finally reached a stage in my life in which people (in this case, a desirable woman) are willing to give me what I want.
That's just called "liking your young, hot wife."

I suppose you can make up your own definitions if you like. But the general understanding of the term "trophy wife" is that it implies that the wife is regarded as a status symbol for the husband.
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