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#1
Old 07-06-2011, 03:46 PM
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How do you finish the sentence: "It's so hot that..."

I'll start.

"It's so hot that I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walking."
#2
Old 07-06-2011, 04:19 PM
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Not exactly the same as your phrase, but I've always liked, "it's hot as balls"
#3
Old 07-06-2011, 04:44 PM
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A snowball just moved its family to Hell.
#4
Old 07-06-2011, 04:59 PM
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It's so hot today, the air smells like ironing.
#5
Old 07-06-2011, 05:06 PM
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...people are sticking to the roads.
#6
Old 07-06-2011, 06:05 PM
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I saw a roasted turkey fly by.


OK, who's going to be first with the expected line?
#7
Old 07-06-2011, 06:07 PM
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The one I always heard was that it was hot enough to fry an egg on the pavement (= sidewalk).

At the other extreme: It's cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.
#8
Old 07-06-2011, 06:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by runner pat View Post
OK, who's going to be first with the expected line?
HOW HOT IS IT?



You're welcome.
#9
Old 07-06-2011, 06:12 PM
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I've always enjoyed the colloquialism, which in no way fits to this thread's motif, but fuck it, is ...

Chrissakes, it's hot enough in here to breed sheep.

I don't even really know what it means, but I like it.
#10
Old 07-06-2011, 06:14 PM
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It's so hot that I saw a squirrel blowing on his nuts
#11
Old 07-06-2011, 06:23 PM
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Here's another:

"It's so hot today I saw two trees fighting over a dog."
#12
Old 07-06-2011, 06:24 PM
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...I set the house on fire just to cool it off.
#13
Old 07-06-2011, 06:27 PM
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... I saw a fire hydrant chasing a dog.
#14
Old 07-06-2011, 08:03 PM
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A related one:

"It's been so long since it rained that we had to ship the fish to Seattle so they wouldn't forget how to swim."
#15
Old 07-06-2011, 08:29 PM
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...I am very uncomfortable.
#16
Old 07-06-2011, 09:30 PM
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...I am finally warm!
#17
Old 07-06-2011, 10:09 PM
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Not exactly the same phrase... It's hotter than 3 hells!
#18
Old 07-06-2011, 10:47 PM
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For some reason I saw the thread title and my brain immediately came up with

"It's so hot that my boobs are melting."

Not having fake boobs, I can only imagine that would SUCK.
#19
Old 07-06-2011, 10:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hari Seldon View Post
The one I always heard was that it was hot enough to fry an egg on the pavement (= sidewalk).

I tried doing this while camping. Apparantly, 115 is not quite hot enough to cook an egg on a rock, darnit.
#20
Old 07-06-2011, 11:42 PM
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It's hotter than a whore's ass on dollar night.
#21
Old 07-07-2011, 12:26 AM
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Spike Lee filmed it best.

"it's too hot to fuck."
#22
Old 07-07-2011, 03:10 AM
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My Saturday Night Special melted before the gunfight.
#23
Old 07-07-2011, 08:03 AM
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"Heat, ma'am! it was so dreadful here, that I found there was nothing left for it but to take off my flesh and sit in my bones." ~Sydney Smith
#24
Old 07-07-2011, 09:13 AM
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It's so hot the flies ain't even bitin'.
#25
Old 07-07-2011, 09:32 AM
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It's so hot, this happened.
#26
Old 07-07-2011, 10:46 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dolores Reborn View Post
It's so hot, this happened.
Love it!
#27
Old 07-07-2011, 11:00 AM
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I think the lyrics from A Horse With No Name sums it up nicely:

"The heat was hot."
#28
Old 07-07-2011, 11:24 AM
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From some comedian many years ago, I can't remember who but I've used the line so much I consider it mine now: it's so hot, birds are bursting into flames in mid-air and nuns are cursing openly on the streets.
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#29
Old 07-07-2011, 11:28 AM
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One of my favorite David Letterman "It's so hot" jokes from many years back.

"It's so hot, fat guys are making their own gravy!"
#30
Old 07-07-2011, 11:31 AM
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It's hotter than two rats fuckin' in a wool sock.
#31
Old 07-07-2011, 01:44 PM
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...the Statue of Liberty was asked to please lower her right arm.
#32
Old 07-07-2011, 01:48 PM
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... I tried to piss but it evaporated before it hit the ground.

... granny was breaking wind just to have a little breeze.
#33
Old 07-07-2011, 02:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chef Troy View Post
Here's another:

"It's so hot today I saw two trees fighting over a dog."
A local variant of that one is:

"It's so hot, the trees are bribing the dogs."
#34
Old 07-07-2011, 03:48 PM
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"...you could fry an egg on my head."
#35
Old 07-07-2011, 03:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gregorio View Post
Spike Lee filmed it best.

"it's too hot to fuck."
Cole Porter beat him to it.
#36
Old 07-07-2011, 03:52 PM
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... Sarah Palin decided to be a Mama naked mole rat.

... even Rush believes in global warming.

... people are walking around with oven mitts instead of socks.

... the fire ants are really on fire.

Yes, I watched years of Johnny Carson.
#37
Old 07-07-2011, 03:59 PM
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meh, the f bomb hit my ears a little harder than "It's too darn hot"

Plus I've seen Do The Right Thing, and I haven't seen Kiss Me Kate.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Voyager View Post
Cole Porter beat him to it.
#38
Old 07-07-2011, 04:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by runner pat View Post
I saw a roasted turkey fly by.


OK, who's going to be first with the expected line?
As God is my witness, I thought someone would have posted it by now.
#39
Old 07-07-2011, 05:15 PM
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Hotter than a 4balled billy goat.
It is not hot, it just does not take me long to look at a horseshoe.
It is not hot, but is really heavy.
It is so hot that canada melted and filled in the great lakes with French pudding.
It is so hot that Al Gore landed one of his jets, sold the rest of his carbon credits and drove his caravan of suv's north and discovered the North Pole. Yes he did! Santa said so.
#40
Old 07-07-2011, 07:43 PM
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Whenever we have any kind of extreme weather I always say the same thing....

"Damn you Al Gore!"
#41
Old 07-07-2011, 09:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Taomist View Post
For some reason I saw the thread title and my brain immediately came up with

"It's so hot that my boobs are melting."

Not having fake boobs, I can only imagine that would SUCK.
Where I used to work, the servers that run the entire store were in our office and the a/c was not adequate. My coworker and I had tried everything, but we would hear from the HO "The readout says it's blowing sixty degrees in there"

At one point, my coworker screamed at someone "Look! You have two sweatyboobied women working in here!! We can't take it!!!"

That and an email to a higher manager? Suddenly a new a/c.

#42
Old 07-08-2011, 02:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BrassyPhrase View Post
Where I used to work, the servers that run the entire store were in our office and the a/c was not adequate. My coworker and I had tried everything, but we would hear from the HO "The readout says it's blowing sixty degrees in there"

At one point, my coworker screamed at someone "Look! You have two sweatyboobied women working in here!! We can't take it!!!"

That and an email to a higher manager? Suddenly a new a/c.

Yeah, I had a manager once for whom the idea of boobies often led to lowering the AC. He didn't agree with the conventional wisdom that it's rude to point.
#43
Old 07-08-2011, 02:15 PM
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It's hotter than the Devil's dick in a pair of heated Speedos.
#44
Old 07-08-2011, 02:56 PM
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It's so hot I saw a bird pull a worm out of the ground with an oven mitt.
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#45
Old 07-08-2011, 03:10 PM
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It's so hot the cows are giving evaporated milk.

It's so hot the cornfield popped.

It's so hot Astros fans are taking the bags off of their heads.
#46
Old 07-08-2011, 04:28 PM
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Not my line but I always remember the line from Good Morning Vietnam

"It's hot! Damn hot! Real hot! Hottest things is my
shorts. I could cook things in it.
A little crotch pot cooking."
#47
Old 07-08-2011, 06:42 PM
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It's so hot ... I can fry eggs on my Camaro
#48
Old 07-08-2011, 06:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pravnik View Post
It's so hot Astros fans are taking the bags off of their heads.
Incidentally, this can also be worded as "It's so hot, yo daddy took the bag off yo mamma's head," thus acheiving double points for the rare "it's so hot/yo mamma" joke perfecta.
#49
Old 07-09-2011, 08:31 AM
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It's hotter than two foxes fuckin' in a forest fire.
#50
Old 06-25-2016, 06:13 PM
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Its so hot the devil went home
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