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Old 10-09-2012, 08:48 AM
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Cheshire, UK (since 2006)
Posts: 5,015
Share your 'my family sucks' stories here

Seems there's been a few threads about families and the "lovely" ways they behave, this thread is for the smaller stuff when you just want to get it off your chest.

Here's a starter from me:

Background: My husband doesn't ring his parents very often. The reason for this is that his father spouts his usual bigoted stuff, and his mother spouts her usual depressive stuff. By the time he gets off a 30 minute call, he feels exhausted and stressed. They spend the whole time laying out their problems and grievances with the expectation he will come up with the solutions to everything. He has tried sending them regular emails, as a way of minimising the pain of communicating, but gets no response from them. He's their only child.

Current suck story: My husband's uncle's second-wife died a couple of months ago. My husband's mother finally told him this when she phoned a week ago. Basically, she didn't ring when she first found out, because my husband doesn't phone home often enough. So we've missed the opportunity to send a timely condolence to his uncle. We only met the deceased on one occasion, they have always lived in a different city to us. I'm torn between doing nothing (and being seen as cold-hearted) or doing something (and being seen as weird for leaving it so late, or making his family look even weirder than they do now by explaining that they only just told us about her death).

On a positive note, my parents have completely taken my husband into their hearts and give him so much support and encouragement and all the other stuff he's never had from his own family. It's very lovely to see.
Old 10-09-2012, 10:31 PM
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Northern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 209
When my grandmother died we only found out when her step-mother (my step-great-grandmother) called around to ask why on earth an obituary with my grandmother's name and all relevant information was posted in the local paper. During her sickness and death (just over a week's time from beginning to end), because he felt his children didn't call or visit enough to his liking, he woudn't bother telling them their mother was sick or, eventually, that she died. She died a week before Christmas and his plan was to allow everyone to show up for Christmas with presents and whatnot for her and inform them then that their mother/grandmother was dead. To, you know, punish them for not calling or visiting him enough.

The obituary was posted in the paper by the funeral home without his consent to release it yet. He was less than pleased.

Sadly, that isn't the worst thing he's ever done. It was, however, the last thing he did that allowed every single one of his family to all finally agree he was a complete psychopath and none of his children or grandchildren have ever spoken to him again.
Old 10-09-2012, 10:42 PM
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: rhode island
Posts: 38,810
Nowhere near enough time in the rest of my life to tell that story.
Old 10-09-2012, 11:00 PM
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,556
My brother-in-law is on bail awaiting trial for conspiray to murder charges. He's 22 years old.

So, two years ago, a few days before our second son was due to be born I ended up in hospital with appendicitis and had a week-long stay due to complications after the surgery. While I was there my wife & 2 y.o. son stayed with my mother-in-law.

One night BIL shows up saying a bike gang is going to catch & beat/kill/whatever him and that they are going to come looking for him at MIL's house.

Moron BIL had gotten himself involved with a local gang (this is after he got out on bail for the murder conspiracy charge) and somehow got blamed for taking money or drugs (or both) from them.

Got a call from my wife at about 1:00am telling me that there were several armed police officers in full tactical gear/ballistic vests at the house and they would be spending the rest of the night just in case anything happened! Her father (ex-Vietnam vet, won't take crap from anyone) also drove down from where he lives about 2 hours away to help keep an eye on things.

So nice of the asshole BIL to involve the rest of his family in his idiocy.
Old 10-09-2012, 11:08 PM
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: NJ
Posts: 6,635
My husband's parents didn't tell him or his brother his grandmother had died. They tried to call her and his parents wouldn't let her take the calls.

My husband's mom wrote him a letter telling him that her youngest daughter was her favorite child and he should get over it.

My husband's father frequently implied to me that his son was a hypocrondriac who thought too highly of himself.

My husband has understandably not spoken to his parents in nearly a decade.

On my side of the family my dad keeps yelling at me everytime I call him. He seems to feel that his anger over my mom's death in June is something he can take out on me. His latest stunt was to hang up my eldest child after she a) proudly told him about her school triumphs and b) very politely asked him when he was going to send her the jewelry her dead grandmother promised her. She just got into the gifted program. My father refuses to congratulate her.

My brother is 38, unemployed and living with my father. He has no children or long term relationship of any kind. He attends college part-time and praises himself on facebook for not flunking out. He calls me "the lazy JAP" to his idiot friends.

Forget biology. Family is what you forge on your own. My husband and I not blood kin but he is and always will be my family.
Old 10-09-2012, 11:58 PM
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: a farm in Ohio
Posts: 1,356
My husband's father called our house every day for months after we got married to see if I had left him yet. He wasn't joking, though that would be bad enough.

He still berates him every chance he gets, though no longer in my hearing. I cannot fathom ever having that level if animosity toward one of my sons, especially one who was such a generally good guy. Some people seem irreparably broken.
Old 10-10-2012, 12:13 AM
Charter Member
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: In my own little world...
Posts: 12,385
Originally Posted by Girl Hermit View Post
When my grandmother died we only found out when her step-mother (my step-great-grandmother) called around to ask why on earth an obituary with my grandmother's name and all relevant information was posted in the local paper.
You don't actually say who "he" is, but I assume it's your grandfather?
Old 10-10-2012, 02:49 AM
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Sydney, Australia
Posts: 3,001
My mother was diagnosed with lung cancer several years ago. She'd been playing games for years and didn't let me know of her illness and prognosis but died a few days later of a stroke. Her husband (not my father) rang within minutes to let me know she'd died but when asked why he hadn't let me know she was so ill, he said Mum told him not to.

Thanks for nothing, Mum. I guess this means you won.
Old 10-10-2012, 08:36 AM
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Northern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 209
Originally Posted by Leaper View Post
You don't actually say who "he" is, but I assume it's your grandfather?
Sorry, yes, "he" being my grandfather.

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