#1
Old 07-08-2001, 12:50 AM
Guest
Join Date: Apr 1999
Posts: 1,046
I've seen numerous auctions for raccoon penis bones(such as here), and I've wondered: What are those things good for?

Can anyone think of a use for one?
__________________
Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.
#2
Old 07-08-2001, 12:52 AM
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 3,720
I actually found a squirrel penis bone in one of my field school digs in college... archaeology makes you learn all sorts of interesting things. Apparently, they were carried in medicine pouches.

So you could carry your raccoon penis bone in a medicine pouch...
__________________
Not all who wander are lost. -JRRT
I absorb trust like a love rhombus.
#3
Old 07-08-2001, 01:01 AM
Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Washington dc
Posts: 16,441
Uses for a raccoon penis

I am sure raccoons find them useful for something.
#4
Old 07-08-2001, 01:06 AM
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: South Amboy, New Jersey
Posts: 201
Make a keychain.
#5
Old 07-08-2001, 01:22 AM
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Obama Country Baby!
Posts: 2,099
They're supposed to bring about virility. Use it instead of the little blue pill. I hear they usually are made into necklace pendants and stuff.
__________________
Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama Obama
#6
Old 07-08-2001, 01:29 AM
Charter Member
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 11,166
Just a WAG but they could easily be finding their way to China and Chinese medicine.
#7
Old 07-08-2001, 01:38 AM
BANNED
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 1,382
You could pry open the jaws of a small animal...like a cat! Then watch as it busted the bone in two, like the hydra does in [b]Willow[/i].

My friend has a 2' whale penis. I mean he has one that used to belong to a whale.
__________________
"plus scire . . . est."=trans. "This desire to know more than is sufficient is a kind of intemperance."
#8
Old 07-08-2001, 02:25 AM
Guest
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Florida
Posts: 4,630
Quote:
My friend has a 2' whale penis. I mean he has one that used to belong to a whale.
Oh my good lord, that was side splitting.
#9
Old 07-08-2001, 10:28 AM
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Pt Lincoln South Australia
Posts: 897
Quote:
Originally posted by wishbone
[B]You could pry open the jaws of a small animal...like a cat! Then watch as it busted the bone in two, like the hydra does in Willow[/i].

My friend has a 2' whale penis. I mean he has one that used to belong to a whale.
"I shoved it down my pants, up my butt, and ran for the door."


These two lines were displayed in close proximity. Did you preview before you posted, wishbone?
__________________
Knock softly but firmly, 'cause I like soft firm knockers...
#10
Old 07-08-2001, 10:34 AM
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Pt Lincoln South Australia
Posts: 897
Damn! I didn't take my own advice...

Let's try that again.

Quote:
Originally posted by wishbone

My friend has a 2' whale penis. I mean he has one that used to belong to a whale.

"I shoved it down my pants, up my butt, and ran for the door."

Unfortunate juxtaposition?
#11
Old 07-08-2001, 12:15 PM
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Duluth, GA
Posts: 1,166
As I understand it, the raccoon's bacculum (penis bone) has a bit of a hook at the business end that makes it a useful toothpick.

Many years ago, I worked with a guy who claimed to have (and use) such a toothpick; however, he never whipped it out in my presence.
#12
Old 07-08-2001, 05:07 PM
Guest
Join Date: Oct 1999
Location: Nirvana
Posts: 4,093
It also makes a mighty fine hairpin.
#13
Old 07-08-2001, 08:43 PM
Member
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 42,516
To be serious for a moment, raccoon penis bones have a small hole near one end. They can thus be easily converted into small sewing needles. I eliminates te frustration and difficulty of trying to successfully drill an eye into your average carved-bone needle. The Amerindians did this, IIRC.


Another use of a raccoon penis bone, if you happen to be a raccoon, is to have raccoon sex and make little raccoons.
__________________
"Mr. Chambers! Don't get on the ship! We translated the book, and it's a TENNIS MANUAL!"
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:19 AM.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: [email protected]

Send comments about this website to:

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Copyright 2018 STM Reader, LLC.

Copyright © 2017
Best Topics: antz rating gijoe aircraft carrier hippo jaws origin of horny kobayashi porcelain guldpalm pillow steak fat apr chipping gang sign picture buddhism pronunciation rosa boone bundy white wedding meaning satellite feed madonna sex book for sale how to frame with metal studs for commercial explain the significance of the song guantanamera how does coin star work why is the c word so offensive colonel sanders on little house on the prairie swiss army excursion watch band replacement can you live on peanut butter why does one testicle hang lower than the other how much snot can a human produce high temperature tape home depot city of issuance on a passport